Blood

For Matt and Marrissa, Kory repeated as she gruelingly forced herself to run after Brian. Her heart had never raced this fast before, she was certain. Her stomach twisted, and she chewed on her lip harshly. Too many emotions were going through her head at once. Fear, determination, affection, fear again. All at once. It was exhausting, how many emotional changes she had gone through in such a short time.

At first, it frightened her to see him like this. His hands in his hair, frustration and anger clearly the main feelings going through his head. "I'm sorry," she blurted, not thinking about how he would react to it. She was, of course. She was more than sorry for what she had done, and she felt despondent that she'd ever be able to repair what she had done.

"Sorry?" He shook his head, "For which part? Ignoring me completely? Or making me feel like things were my fault? Sorry for making me watch your little sister not leave Mason's side for weeks and cry when something reminded her of you? For making me feel like complete shit? Which part are you sorry for? Or are you sorry for none of it at all, because that seems like the only likely possibility here!" Enraged, that's what he was. He couldn't believe that, after all she had done, she still had the nerve to come back, to try and mend things that were well past broken.

Kory said nothing. What could she say? She was sorry for everything she had done, but in this current moment it wouldn't matter what she said. He wouldn't believe her, so why waste her breath?

He ran his hands down his face. "Why are you back? You can't fix anything, you shouldn't even try. You're wasting your time, ya know," he sighed, before turning away. He couldn't even look at her right now. "What the fuck, Kory."

All she could do was self-consciously wrap her arms around herself and stare at the ground. She had caused all of this. She caused all of his anger, she caused herself to fall apart in New York. All of it was her fault, and he was right. She couldn't restore what had once been.

Brian turned to face her again, and only laughed. "You're kidding, right? You're not gonna be here long. You're leaving again, aren't you?"

That was it. Laughing at her sent her completely over the edge. Even though she had nearly drew blood from her lip, it couldn't stop her from crying. Unable to look at him, she only shook her head. "I can't leave," she confessed. She hadn't ever known that feeling completely useless wasn't only an emotion, it caused physical pain too. She could feel it in her chest, the way it tensed additionally as the seconds ticked by. And he wasn't helping any.

"Why not? There isn't a thing stopping you from leaving right this second! It's not like you actually care about anyone h-!"

That was her breaking point. Every bone in her body was screaming at her to lash out at him, but she couldn't. She wasn't angry with him, but she wouldn't let him make false assumptions like this one. "That's not true! I care about all of them! More than even I realize! I care about you, Brian! But that's the problem! You're right, I should leave! But I can't, because if I do I'll hurt Melody even more! I won't be here to watch her get married and have kids, and I won't be able to watch Matt and Marrissa live happily ever after, I'll be dead! So you can just drop that subject right here and right now, because I'm not leaving!"

Brian shook his head. "You're exaggerating, stop it," he said, sighing. In truth, he just wanted to leave. He wanted to get away from Kory, she wasn't making sense and neither was he. He had missed her infinitely, why was he so aggravated with her? His feelings for her hadn't changed.

"I wish I was, but that doesn't matter! Because it's all my fault! I have to live, even if I don't want to, because I deserve this! I'm a terrible person, you don't have to tell me, okay? I'll leave. I'll fucking leave, okay? Don't worry about it," she said, shoving past him.

"Stop! What the hell, Kory? Just stop for a second!" His fingers wrapped themselves around her small wrist, abandoning her the possibility to flee. He took a steady breath before he spoke again, trying to remain calm. "Why? Why'd you ignore me? I messaged you constantly, I left you voice mails every single day. You never answered your phone. Why?"

Kory wasn't sure how to explain it to him. She couldn't explain it to herself, if she was honest. "I didn't ignore you. I read them all, I listened to every voice mail," she confessed, her eyes locked on his hand, as if he would let go any moment and all of it would be over.

He groaned. "That makes it worse! So you knew! You knew how much I missed you, and you refused to pick up the phone for a five minute conversation?" He didn't want to upset her any further. He hated seeing her fall to pieces because of him. But the words still came out harsh, he wasn't sure how to calm the rage inside of him because he wasn't sure why it was there in the first place.

"I couldn't," she sighed, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes tightly. "I couldn't, I would've come back if you asked. I couldn't risk it, I'm sorry."

It was silent for a long time. Brian didn't know what to say, and Kory didn't have anything to say. She was so lost, and he was so confused. It hurt her to explain things, though. He wasn't blind to that.

"Just, just tell me why. Why'd you leave?" When he thought it over, that was the only genuine question Brian had. He didn't see a reason for her to leave, but yet she had been gone for months on end.

She wiped at her eyes carefully, before sighing. "I left because I was afraid. I didn't want to love you, but I did. And that terrified me. I relied on you, and I hated that. That's why I left, okay? It wasn't because of my book."

"Did it ever occur to you that I actually loved you, Kory? That I actually still do? Or did you completely forget that other people aren't made of stone," he asked, glaring at her. There is was again. The anger, followed by the guilt.

She only sighed. "When I left, you weren't at the airport. You didn't even show up," she shrugged hopelessly. From her angle of the situation, she couldn't imagine that he actually did. Perhaps what he was saying was true, by some miracle, but even then his actions didn't prove anything. In truth, she was just afraid. She was afraid because nothing was cocrete about this. In order for things to work out between them, which she highly doubted, it would mean putting every last bit of trust and hope she had in him. She wasn't sure if she could recover from another blow like the last.

"I promised that I wouldn't wait, so I did what I needed to do to keep that promise," he said, loosing his grip on her wrist and letting his hand fall to his side. He missed the touch as soon as it was gone. But he knew better than to extend his hand to her soft skin.

Kory thought it best to shake that statement from her head, it seemed like the best for herself. "Friends, right? We agreed that we'd be friends, before I left. Plus, even if you hate me right now, today has to be nice. Matt's going to propose to Marrissa today," she mumbled, forcing a small, half smile.

Brian nodded. "Yeah, I know. Maybe we'll talk things over later. But, for now, I think we should just coexist," he suggested, once again taking in Kory's appearance. She was so alluring, it was almost absurd.

"Yeah," Kory agreed, "At least for today." Brian hadn't changed much, but Kory liked it that way. Half of her wanted to just throw her arms around him and hold him close, while the other wanted to kiss every inch of skin she could see and more. Was it always going to be like this? Even if they were friends again, it wouldn't be like this forever, right? She desperately hoped not. "Let's put on a show, then," she said, scrambling in her head to find a brave face, before walking back inside, adamant on making it a pleasurable evening.