Gensokyo 20XXII: Imprisonment, Secrets, Sacrifice, Sorrow, and Freedom

I could not seem to fathom what it was that Yukari and Suika were trying to prove but I had a feeling they were onto something and I wanted to know what. They would never tell me and, after awhile, I started to catch on. Every lunch period, I would hurl my plate of crap at something and then it escalated to me throwing everyone's plate of food at something. I was feeling an unbridled rage and it felt good to vent it. I felt rather triumphant in what I was doing and I was quite satisfied at what I did. Fire was burning ice and I had a flame burning deep inside me. This was personal and I didn't give a shit about whether or not we were starved.

If I weren't throwing plates with Yukari and Suika, I was flipping tables, should we not get any food that day. After a while of doing this, Koishi said, "Great, now they're going to beat on us." to which I responded, "Fine, they can do their worst." She was right and they had came in and beat us. Yukari, Suika, and I were beaten quite badly but we didn't care. We were ordered to stop "misbehaving", to which I said, "Give me back my babies, you sons of bitches!" I had lost a few of my teeth. It didn't matter, they can shoot me, beat me, and kick me but I didn't care.

When Koishi was going to say something in that monotone voice of hers, I heard Satori say, "We don't need to hear your smart-allecky remarks." Koishi never spoke again for the rest of the week or the next week. Satori made her shut up.

Good.
***
They've gone mad
What in blazes has possessed them to
do such things?

They must have gone mad, must have

***
They've gone mad! Codswallop I say! Oh, what do I do? I know I'll stay obedient, that's it, obedient, none of this flipping bloody tables and throwing bloody plates of slop! No, no, I'll stay a proper lady, a proper lady, that's it. I try to keep my composure but the agony of it all. They must stop this terrible behavior! They're going to get us all killed and I just know it, just know it. Never again, never again, never again! I must behave and mind my manners, so I won't be killed. It's already bad enough that those hoodlums have captured, separated, unjstly imprisoned us, denying us use of the lavatories, and intend to feed us slop but now they're acting like mindless animals. Codswallop, I say! I expect this sort of thing with Suika, being that she's an oni and oni often behave that way, but Yukari and Ran, too? Oh! It must be nerves, that's it, nerves. Suika has gone mad and now it's spread to Ran and Yukari, so they've got it, too. Ah, nothing more than sociogenic illness and, in these conditions, it's bound to be. Just sociogenic illness corrupting everyone, that's all.

It's all in their heads, all in their heads.
***
We have to
leave, Eirin says so, because we can't
stay here anymore
***
After staying in the house for some time, Eirin said we couldn't stay there any longer. Rumia and I didn't protest and she was taking us to Aya's place in hopes that she could hide us. Hopefully, she could because we really have no other place to go. The next day and bringing Yukari's bundle of knittings, we had found our way to Aya's apartent. I knocked on the door, bearing a note that Eirin wrote. I could hear Aya open the door and let us in. She informed us that, since we were to be staying there, we would have to share and that she would teach me something called braille, so I could read, even though I couldn't see. She also informed us that were was to be no backtalk and arguments and to mind what she says. She also told us to try to steer clear of the windows, as someone might notice us. I spent quite a bit of time bowing and thanking her. She could live under the mask of being a human, as she had lost her wings, but hiding us was placing her at risk of her ruse being thrown off and uncovered. Nevertheless, I was grateful and Rumia was, too.

Aya often took the time out to cook for us, read us stories, and tuck us in bed. She took good of care us and even more because we had no one else to look after us and Eirin could only do so much for us. She took care of us, too, but, being a ghost, one very much unlike Yuyuko, she only did so much, like watch after us when Aya wasn't there. We couldn't stay in the house because there was nothing really there for us.

***
They haven't called
I wonder, why haven't they
returned my calls?

***
Usually, Yukari would return my calls but she hasn't been returning my calls for a long time. It is rather strange that she has yet to return my calls. We used to talk a lot on the phone and now I wish to tell her of my latest victory at the sumo tournament but her answering machine always comes up whenever I call. They must not be home. They haven't been home a lot and I wonder what happened to them. Maybe Aya knows and she'll tell me, after all, it is not like them not to answer my phone calls. After a treendous amount of time, I remembered something a message on the answering machine. I can't remember what it said but I think it might have been important.

The message must be gone by now, as that was, well, more than awhile ago. Maybe tommarrow, after lunch, I'll go to Aya's and ask her why isn't they haven't called me, something isn't right.
***
I hear news
Of something stirring amongst the monsters
Lack of stimulation

I suppose
***
After observing our behavior, I couldn't help but to overhear them saying what we were doing was caused by "lack of stimulation". Frankly, I found that preposterous. We weren't throwing plates and tables around out of boredom, we were doing so to prove that they won't break us. Instead of lunch period, we were gathered into a larger room and was told to sit in the chairs. They explained to us that lunch was moved to dinner and we were to be doing something during lunch period and by 'doing something' , they had meant labor. We were each assigned a job to do. Yuuka's was laundry, Suika's cleaning, well, actually, mopping, Nitori's was repair, the Koishi sisters were tagged with room duty, meaning they had to clean rooms, Ran was given secretarial work, and I was given really whatever was available to do at the time, though I was mostly relagated to tailoring new clothes, ones that were white. Frankly, if I were to be asked, I think it is rather stupid idea to make us wear entirely white, as, being we disallowed from using the toilet, some of us might have shat upon themselves.

Like before, I was given more freedom than anyone else, becoming the warden's favorite, and was allowed to wander around until after dinner. I knew how to pull a few strings to get what I pleased but I had to be careful when I did this, as I am trying my hardest to help out the others and reunite Ran and I each with our babies. However, it isn't very easy extracting information from someone but I could use the warden's infatuation of me to do so. Let this be noted, I will NOT be proud of that but if it is a level I must stoop to than so be it. If Reimu wasn't a toddler, I wonder what she'll think of me if I dare stoop that low.
***
"Will you still write, Aya? Please, don't stop writing the Gensokyo Column, they're all we have left."
***
I know about what had happened with Ran and the veil and, from what Chen described herself hearing, the others may have been captured. Having lost inspiration and in light of the circumstance, I thought about discontinuing the Gensokyo Column, until Chen walked up to me one night and said,"Will you still write, Aya? Please, don't stop writing the Gensokyo Column, they're all we have left." For them, I agreed to never stop until my life has ended. Before, I had never children stay with me but now I knew I had two purposes: Hide and take care of Ran and Chen and hide my status as a youkai under my work as a chief editior and column writer. No one ever all suspected that I was tengu but, then again, my wings had dropped off and I do look quite human enough. I needed to take care of them in Ran and Yukari's abscence.

One night, while making dinner, I had Rumia, unusually shy, walk up to me and asked, "Do you think they'll come back for us?" I told her they would, although, none of us could make certain if Ran, Yukari, and the others were ever still alive. One would think that TCAA would forget about hunting youkai and leave us in peace but, as I can see, they haven't. Hopefully, they will and, if Ran, Yukari, and the others are in their containment they will finally set them free.
***
"Koishi, I'm sorry I was horrible to you."
***
Koishi has been very quiet, ever since I've told her we didn't need her smart-allecky remarks. I feel awful for saying that to her, my dearest little sister. Even though I want nothing more than for her to open her third eye, I shouldn't say things like that to her. We spent most of our time here in an omnimous silence but I wanted nothing more than to break it. I worry about her and it is hard for me not to. As we cleaned the rooms in silence, I told her, "Koishi, I am sorry, I was so horrible to you." For brief moment, she took my hand and then let go, silently saying she forgives me. As we continued cleaning, Koishi tugged on my sleeve and whispered, "Look, Yukari." I turned my head and noticed Yukari was walking with the warden grasping her arm. I turned to her and said, "Hide your eyes, little sister, innocence has been lost." She patted my head and we went back to cleaning. Once we were finished with all of the rooms, we noticed how Ran, Suika, Nitori, and Yuuka were sitting a table in the serving area. Dinner hadn't come but I can tell that they came here to discuss matters.

When Yuuka noticed us, she beckoned for us to sit with them and talk with them. They were talking about Yukari. Taking the time, I read each and every last one of their minds. I heard anguished voices and Ran was even weeping in her head. My fears were starting to come true and it seemed Yukari was preparing to perform the scarpia ultimatum as a way of extracting information from the warden so she could help us, which, in simple terms meant, she was going to be doing something that she won't be proud of. In a little voice, I hear Koishi say, "No one should have to sacrifice themselves that way." Koishi's voice sounded different, surprisingly. It didn't sound monotone, rather it sounded sad, like a small child whose had their heart broken. Her third eye wasn't open but it seemed she had felt sadness for the first time. Usually, Koishi doesn't think or even feel emotions, walking around and empty shell but, this time, she had shown sadness. Tears may not have been falling from her eyes but they were most certainly falling from her third eye. They were coming from her heart. She was feeling genuine sadness from very deep within. I wished for something dreadful to happen to the warden for all that had happened to us but more for the death of innocence. Maybe that shall be my next book, after all, I had been clean for awhile now. Of all the people I despised, I despised the warden ever moreso than I did Byakuren. I will have no trouble at all reading and using his thoughts against him.

As for Yukari, I will hold nothing against her for what she had to do. Reimu wouldn't have.

***
"You did what?!"

"I peed in the mopwater."

"Did that mopwater have, by any chance, bleach in it?"

"Yes."

"You're going to hell."

"Yes, yes, I am."