White Roses Fade to Black

Calum watched Lesley as she slept. Curled up in a ball on his bed, the mess of blankets just about covering her as she twitched slightly. In his arms, on his bed, just lying there. He wanted to stay frozen in this moment forever, just holding her, watching her, noticing just how gorgeous she actually was.

His chest was pressed flush against her warm back, his arm wrapping round her waist and stomach, whilst he used his other to prop himself up so he could see her beautiful face over her tangle of golden brown waves.

The pale face with pink cheeks, and a light number of brown freckles dusted across the cheeks and nose, was just about perfection. The high cheekbones just added to her beauty, as did her not quite pointy but not quite rounded chin. A cute button nose in just the right position in the middle of her face, with baby pink colored lips.

Long length golden brown ringlets and waves and curls that shined whether it was sunny or not, falling around and in her face and down half of her back, so much so that she often got annoyed with it. Her sparkling blue eyes were bright and cheery as her smile, like diamonds in a store or stars in the sky.

Every time he looked at her, Calum was dazzled by Lesley’s infinite and stunning beauty. To him, she was perfection, with her slender girlish hips. Her chest wasn’t too big, wasn’t too small and she had long legs that weren’t fat and weren’t thin.

Even down to her fingernails, which were chewed with black, chipped nail polish. Long thin fingers that meant she didn’t have to worry about rings in shops being too small for her, and a long swan-like neck to add to her elegant posture.

Calum loved everything about her, even her personality. She was bubbly and creative, smart and funny. Charismatic and loud, yet quiet when the time fitted. Cared about everyone around her and put them first, screw herself. She was retarded and weird and strange to the millionth power, but that just made you love her more.

She could talk for hours, having been blessed with the gift of gab. She could talk about anything and everything, nothing and many things and still have more to tell you. She’d listen when she needed to, and talk when the time called it.

Down to earth and not fashion obsessed. Lesley could spot a hot guy from a mile off, and then gab about him for hours afterwards. She played guitar, bass, drums; she could write something amazing. She cared about her grades and always concentrated on her work, giving as much attention to school as she did her friends and family.

Which was one of the many reasons she was walked over and taken for granted a lot of the time. You’d guarantee that if you needed the answer to a really hard equation or English question, Lesley would be one of the first to offer help. Usually resulting in her giving the answer.

Lesley also had a temper, as was witnessed when she yelled at Lucie for suggesting she maybe accept her feelings for Calum. Calum felt a pang of guilt as he thought about it, as usual, blaming himself for what had happened that day.

His eyes itched with tiredness and he felt them droop slightly. He’d been yawning his head off for a while now and, as he glanced briefly at the clock, realized that it was twenty to three in the morning. Calum laid his head on the pillow and held Lesley close to him. Her sweet smell invaded his senses and sent him into a peaceful and deep sleep.

*
Freddie lay on the brown shag carpet, near the bottom of his bed, playing with the little fibers. He lay amongst scrunched up balls of paper and clean laundry. He hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t slept, he hadn’t been out of the house; he had barely moved from that position.

‘Why did I kiss her?’

He was immersed in his corrupted and chaotic misery, dwelling and swilling in his own self-doubt. He couldn’t control, let alone understand, his fucked up emotions and feelings, not knowing where to put himself or where he stood.

‘Why did she kiss back?’

Questions without answers, answers without questions, words without meaning and more rhetorical questions. These things ran through his mind no end, confusing him deeply and just making tears roll down his pale and withdrawn face.

‘So confused…’

Hunger pangs ripped through his stomach, but he ignored them, and as his eyes itched and drooped with tiredness, he wouldn’t let sleep wash over him.

‘Can’t eat… can’t sleep…’

He couldn’t think. He grew confused and paler, all drunk and high on tiredness. He kept giggling randomly, high pitched and retarded; he sounded like he was going mad. He was an angel fallen from grace. Just falling and falling and falling…

‘What has she done to me?’

Freddie rolled over onto his back, his piercing eyes staring at the pattern on his freshly painted ceiling. Insanity was setting hard into him and confusion continued to wash over his frail and fragile being. Nothing felt right anymore, it almost didn’t feel like life was worth living to him.

‘It’s over…’

There was a feeble knock on the door, which opened slowly and carefully. He thought they’d given up trying to feed him, and convince him things weren’t as bad as they seemed. He thought their caring was finally over.

‘Over…’

But he was convinced; he was sure and one hundred percent certain in his own mind that things couldn’t possibly get any worse because he was rock bottom and that’s where he was most likely to stay. When the real truth was that things could get worse, but could get better as they weren’t as bad as he was making out.

‘Can’t get better…’

Bethany hobbled in, one hand clutching a plate of food and the other trying to allow her to walk with only one crutch. She smiled weakly at Freddie, who just turned away.

“Mom made your favorite; Eagleburger and fries. She even said you could have that cherry cola soda you like,” she said.

Freddie sighed as she hobbled closer. With every step she took, he felt more and more anger surge through him. He was sick to fucking death of people trying to make things right.

‘Why won’t they let me sort it out myself?’

He stood up suddenly, startling his sister. The look Bethany saw in his eyes was something she’d never seen before. It was pain and hurt, and a glint that was fueled by murderous anger and bloody hatred.

“I don’t want your food, I don’t want your love and I don’t want your help! And I sure as HELL don’t need her!” Freddie snarled.

His fist plunged into the plate of food, snatching it out of Bethany’s hand and plummeting it to the floor. Plate smashed and food scattered, Bethany ran as best she could from the room, crying her piercing green eyes out.

Freddie looked at his brutally bleeding hand and listened to the sobs that carried through from the bathroom. He sighed and collapsed to the floor, not caring where he landed or whether he caused himself pain.

‘What’s happened to me?’

More rhetorical questions. His tears fell once again as he thought about the kiss. Her soft lips on his, the things he’d felt when he held her in his arms. If this was what love felt like, he was done with it.

*
Nathaniel and Katherine strolled out of the movies, hand in hand, walking close to each other as the night grew later and colder, and the rain fell harder.

Katherine shivered slightly, her drenched hoody sticking to her and not keeping the heat in well. Nathaniel felt her shiver against him, and took off his thick leather jacket, placing it around Katherine’s quivering shoulders.

She felt instantly warmer, her shivering ceasing as the heavy coat worked its magic. Katherine smiled and stood on her tip-toes, kissing Nathaniel lightly on the cheek. His pale face turned slightly into a delicate shade of pink and he directed his gaze to the ground. Both of their faces adorned a wide yet nervous grin. Young love, eh?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Someone had texted Katherine. It was Calum, telling her he’d meet her near the movie’s and that Lesley had gone home. She giggled shyly at the hit he made at the fact that she was on a date with a boy, watching a horror movie.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

That was someone texting Nathaniel, this time. It was Lucie, telling him she’d meet him near the movies and that David was out of hospital, and would be with her when she arrived.

Katherine and Nathaniel tried to tell each other their news both at one, then couldn’t decide who should go first. When the awkward silence settled, Nathaniel thought it the perfect opportunity to speak.

“Lucie’s coming and she’s bringing David because he’s finally out of hospital,” he said, looking up through the rain to the stars.

Katherine nodded and felt a feeling of relief wash over her as the realization that David was okay set it.

“Cool. Calum’s also meting us here, but Lesley went home before he even woke up,” she muttered shyly, that coy smile still playing on her lips.

Nathaniel nodded this time. He and Katherine stood beside the movie theatre, occasionally sparking up conversation about something, that soon faded into an awkward silence.

They only had to wait a few minutes, because figures started to appear on either side of them. A slightly tall one from their left and two varying in height on the right. Calum, Lucie and David.

“Hey, where’s Lesley?” Lucie smiled.

Her smile was bright as she hung onto a broadly grinning David’s shoulder, but her eyes were slightly red and puffy, indicating to the other three that she’d been crying.

But, being as smart and wise as they are, Nathaniel, Katherine and Calum said nothing about it. They knew it would most likely upset Lucie if they so much as mentioned it, so they left it.

“We heading back to yours, J?” Nathaniel asked, wrapping an arm round a cozily warm Katherine’s shoulders and pulling her close.

“Yeah, the ‘rents are out,” Lucie nodded.

A murmur of agreement shuffled through the group as they set off on the short walk to Lucie’s deserted place. Little did they know, things weren’t as calm and quiet as they seemed. Not every story has a happy ending after all.