White Roses Fade to Black
"I Miss You..."
When Lesley didn’t turn up for school next day, Lucie was so worried that she concentrated on her work even less than usual. She snapped her pencil during maths, and had to borrow one of David’s for science.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” David smiled.
Lucie sighed and nodded, on the border of having a panic attack. David had stayed the night, keeping Lucie company and drying the tears each time they fell, so he didn’t know if Calum had come home that night.
“I can’t take this!? Where could she be? What if her parents caught her!? What if she’s out there lost, cold and afraid. I’ll never live with myself if something has happened to her,” Lucie yelled, breaking down.
Break times and lunchtimes were always hard now. Mike and Calum (when he left) had always visited them, bringing them candy and Dr. Pepper. David sighed and pulled Lucie tightly into his arms.
“I want a hug Mike,” Lucie whispered.
David felt the tears sting his eyes. That memory was always there when he went to sleep, more vivid than ever. Almost as if it were real again…
David gave Lucie a bear hug, startling her slightly. She just smiled and bear hugged him back.
“Wow, you’re really getting stronger,” David laughed.
Lucie giggled. Mike had always said that to her, whether it had been true or not. He’d been like a big brother to her; loved her more than her parents did. When he died, she just couldn’t take being alone again. Her parents had been beating her beyond belief since she was five years old.
**FLASHBACK**
“Mammy!” baby Lucie squeaked.
First day of school; she was one of the oldest in her year. 1997 reception class had to be the brightest year, on the soul reason that it had Lucie Stinton and Lesley O’Riley in it. The two brightest five year olds that H.G Wells Primary had ever seen.
And also the two most mischievous. Lucie and Lesley had thrown wet toilet paper balls at the ceiling of the infant toilets. They’d stuck, and some fell on kids as they came in. Lucie and Lesley were in fits.
“I got a phone-call off your school,” her mom said.
Lucie stopped running round in circles and sat at the table. She knew she was in trouble. Stupid school, she thought.
“You know what we’re gonna do about it?” her dad asked her.
Lucie shook her head. She’d never been in trouble before. Not since she met Lesley, anyways. Her parents sighed.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to show you, little shit!” her mom screeched.
She slapped Lucie across the face, leaving a deep gash from the force. Lucie burst into tears and went to run away, but her dad grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to the floor, her face smashing off the floor. The last thing Lucie remembered was her parents kicking her. She blacked out.
When she woke up, she was in hospital and covered in bruises. Her parents were at the side of her bed, talking. Their eyes were red and puffy, and Lucie smelled mace. Her parents had sprayed their eyes with mace to make it look like they were crying for their poor baby.
“She’s awake, now. Hey there, cutie. You had a pretty nasty fall down those stairs, huh?” the nurse said, sweet and kind like.
Lucie tried to speak, but she had no energy to. Plus, her parents glared at her, telling her to shut up or she’ll be in worse trouble. Eleven years later and it was still going on, unknowing to anyone else. She had “fallen down the stairs” hundreds of times, “got in fights”, “been attacked by dogs” and loads of other stupid excuses. Lucie hated her parents… always will.
*
Flashbacks haunted Lesley as she lay on her sodden pillow. It was her second day of ditching school, and she felt like shit. Calum was STILL asleep on the sofa downstairs. God did that guy sleep or did he sleep!?
“I wonder if all eighteen year olds sleep that long. Did Mike sleep that long?” Lesley whispered.
It all flooded back to her. Mike was gone; living on only in peoples memories. More tears for Mike. She hated them. And only one person knew what she was going through, how she felt: LUCIE.
More memories. Yelling at Lucie, repeating those words that she’d listened to on her CD player every night since she started big school. Rolling over, she saw the CD. Anger pulsed through her veins and she threw it at the wall, blinded by pure venom and fury.
“Fuck you!” she screeched.
It wasn’t the CD’s fault. It wasn’t Billie Joe Armstrong’s fault, either. Hell, the only person whose fault it was was Lesley.
“Grr. Now look. Oh Mike, why the hell did you have to do this? As if Lucie doesn’t have enough problems!?” her voice elevated to angry shrieks.
She ran and picked up the CD; the case was cracked slightly. It wasn’t Mike’s fault, she knew it, but she needed to blame someone. She couldn’t understand why she was feeling so shit, so she needed an outlet for all the pain and anger.
“Mike, come back… I miss you…”
Lesley curled up on the floor, soaking the carpet in her mass of tears. Crying seemed like a ritual now. she was always crying.
“I miss you…”
“I’m sure she’s fine,” David smiled.
Lucie sighed and nodded, on the border of having a panic attack. David had stayed the night, keeping Lucie company and drying the tears each time they fell, so he didn’t know if Calum had come home that night.
“I can’t take this!? Where could she be? What if her parents caught her!? What if she’s out there lost, cold and afraid. I’ll never live with myself if something has happened to her,” Lucie yelled, breaking down.
Break times and lunchtimes were always hard now. Mike and Calum (when he left) had always visited them, bringing them candy and Dr. Pepper. David sighed and pulled Lucie tightly into his arms.
“I want a hug Mike,” Lucie whispered.
David felt the tears sting his eyes. That memory was always there when he went to sleep, more vivid than ever. Almost as if it were real again…
David gave Lucie a bear hug, startling her slightly. She just smiled and bear hugged him back.
“Wow, you’re really getting stronger,” David laughed.
Lucie giggled. Mike had always said that to her, whether it had been true or not. He’d been like a big brother to her; loved her more than her parents did. When he died, she just couldn’t take being alone again. Her parents had been beating her beyond belief since she was five years old.
**FLASHBACK**
“Mammy!” baby Lucie squeaked.
First day of school; she was one of the oldest in her year. 1997 reception class had to be the brightest year, on the soul reason that it had Lucie Stinton and Lesley O’Riley in it. The two brightest five year olds that H.G Wells Primary had ever seen.
And also the two most mischievous. Lucie and Lesley had thrown wet toilet paper balls at the ceiling of the infant toilets. They’d stuck, and some fell on kids as they came in. Lucie and Lesley were in fits.
“I got a phone-call off your school,” her mom said.
Lucie stopped running round in circles and sat at the table. She knew she was in trouble. Stupid school, she thought.
“You know what we’re gonna do about it?” her dad asked her.
Lucie shook her head. She’d never been in trouble before. Not since she met Lesley, anyways. Her parents sighed.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to show you, little shit!” her mom screeched.
She slapped Lucie across the face, leaving a deep gash from the force. Lucie burst into tears and went to run away, but her dad grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to the floor, her face smashing off the floor. The last thing Lucie remembered was her parents kicking her. She blacked out.
When she woke up, she was in hospital and covered in bruises. Her parents were at the side of her bed, talking. Their eyes were red and puffy, and Lucie smelled mace. Her parents had sprayed their eyes with mace to make it look like they were crying for their poor baby.
“She’s awake, now. Hey there, cutie. You had a pretty nasty fall down those stairs, huh?” the nurse said, sweet and kind like.
Lucie tried to speak, but she had no energy to. Plus, her parents glared at her, telling her to shut up or she’ll be in worse trouble. Eleven years later and it was still going on, unknowing to anyone else. She had “fallen down the stairs” hundreds of times, “got in fights”, “been attacked by dogs” and loads of other stupid excuses. Lucie hated her parents… always will.
*
Flashbacks haunted Lesley as she lay on her sodden pillow. It was her second day of ditching school, and she felt like shit. Calum was STILL asleep on the sofa downstairs. God did that guy sleep or did he sleep!?
“I wonder if all eighteen year olds sleep that long. Did Mike sleep that long?” Lesley whispered.
It all flooded back to her. Mike was gone; living on only in peoples memories. More tears for Mike. She hated them. And only one person knew what she was going through, how she felt: LUCIE.
More memories. Yelling at Lucie, repeating those words that she’d listened to on her CD player every night since she started big school. Rolling over, she saw the CD. Anger pulsed through her veins and she threw it at the wall, blinded by pure venom and fury.
“Fuck you!” she screeched.
It wasn’t the CD’s fault. It wasn’t Billie Joe Armstrong’s fault, either. Hell, the only person whose fault it was was Lesley.
“Grr. Now look. Oh Mike, why the hell did you have to do this? As if Lucie doesn’t have enough problems!?” her voice elevated to angry shrieks.
She ran and picked up the CD; the case was cracked slightly. It wasn’t Mike’s fault, she knew it, but she needed to blame someone. She couldn’t understand why she was feeling so shit, so she needed an outlet for all the pain and anger.
“Mike, come back… I miss you…”
Lesley curled up on the floor, soaking the carpet in her mass of tears. Crying seemed like a ritual now. she was always crying.
“I miss you…”