This Year

Camille has been far too occupied with both her internship and school for her mind to ever wander off to anything other than those two subjects. It’s been about a week since she last spoke to Zayn or went out with friends after dark.

“You need to quit being a hermit already.” Adriana complains in a laughing matter when Camille is once again busy answering e-mails while quickly shovelling yoghurt into her mouth. “You can’t seriously consider that breakfast!”

Camille slowly looks down at the small mug filled with Greek yoghurt and shrugs. “I’m just busy… I want to do good!” Camille sighs; the stress that has been building up inside of her for a week finally seems to have found a way to her consciousness. “I get to see the final version of the One Direction video we did today…”

Adriana’s head shoots up at ‘One Direction’, a smirk spreads across her face as she takes a seat across from Camille. “Oh, I’m curious… you’re so secretive about it that I just want to see it now.” Camille laughs at her friend and shrugs, mentally reminding herself that she signed a contract to not speak a word about the process.

“I don’t want to get sued by the biggest boyfriend…” Adriana’s eyes widen at Camille mistakes, a bright blush creeps on her face. “Oh my God, I meant boy band! I swear! Sleep deprivation does this to a human being!” She complains, mentally slapping herself for the mistake she just made.

Adriana gives Camille a curious look, eyeing the brunette up and down with a nosey smirk on her lips. “Hmm… you’ve been busy a lot… always clinging to that laptop of yours… or your phone. Did you pick up a boyfriend on that set?” Adriana’s eyes then nearly pop out of her eyes as she changes her position to sit on her knees.

Adriana then grabs Camille arms and starts shaking it while a loud gasp escapes her smiling mouth. “Are you dating one fifth of One Direction?” She squeals, causing Camille to chuckle and shake her head – much to Adriana’s disappointment.

“Do you seriously think I’d manage to snag one of those boys up in one day time? And then get into a relationship with them so quickly? Come on… you should know me better.” Camille giggles, making a mental note to keep her Facebook contact with Zayn a secret from Adriana just in case she’ll get more weird theories into that head of hers.

Adriana then shrugs with a small giggle escaping her mouth. “You never know… I would’ve tried.” She says with a seducing look in her eyes that causes Camille to laugh loudly. “I’m gonna cook tonight. What do you feel like having, love?” She then continues as if their previous conversation never happened.

“I can’t. I have to be at the studio tonight. Sorry! Tomorrow?”



A frustrated groan escapes Zayn lips when the small flame disappears again. “Come on…” He sighs; his thumb is turning red from all the failed attempts at lighting his cigarette. He then quickly pull the cigarette from in between his lips and shakes the lighter heavily. “Work!” He mumbles, looking down at the black lighter.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, Zayn puts the cigarette between his lips again and slides his, now swollen, thumb over the metal to light a small flame which he then happily holds under his cigarette as he sucks in a deep breath. “Hey… can we talk?” Zayn looks to his left to see Perrie standing in the doorway of his balcony.

“What are you doing here?” He mumbles with a slight groan, not really feeling in the mood to deal with Perrie right now.

The couple got into one of their ridiculous fights yesterday. They both usually know what to do when the other is angry, know exactly what to say to stop the fights from happening – but this time was different. Neither of them knew how to calm the other down, nor did they know what ever started this fight. “I want to fix this.” Perrie mumbles, causing Zayn to sigh deeply when the heaviness he felt last night starts weighing on his chest again.

“Not yet, Perrie… I want more time.” Zayn asks, hoping she’ll go away and understand that he wants to be alone. But much to his dislike, Perrie walks over and takes a seat at his right. She taps her fingers on the small table to try and grab Zayn’s attention. “Or not… okay, what happened?” Zayn then asks, trying to shake the heaviness and the weird feeling in his gut.

“I thought I understood you… but last night I didn’t, at all. I didn’t know what you wanted me to do… if I should leave or stay or talk to you… you just shut me out, so I left.” Perrie explains to which Zayn simply nods as he taps on his cigarette for the burnt ashes to fall off.

“You did the same to me in a different way, Perrie. You just got angry and instead of stating why, you threw me some vague lines that I’m supposed to understand. I can’t read your mind, but you seem to think I can.” Zayn sigh, concentrating his focus on his cigarette that is slowly turning to ashes. A sigh falls from his lips before he looks up from his cigarette to Perrie and the back at his cigarette. “Maybe… we’re burnt out?” He mumbles barely above a whisper as the vulnerability in his voice rises.

“Wh-at are you… saying?” Perrie stutters, her voice shaky as Zayn looks back up at her. Perrie’s eyes are red but she tries to cover them up with some of her blonde hair.

“I don’t know.” Zayn sighs as he pushes his cigarette down in the ashtray. “I really don’t.” He sighs as a conflict arises in his mind. He truly doesn’t have a clue what he’s trying to say because he’s so desperate to hold on to this girl yet he feels like letting go.

“Something changed between us… I noticed that and I think you did too. Things haven’t been the same.” Zayn nods slowly at Perrie’s words, slowly realising that they both have been playing with the same idea.

“I know… so… should we…” Zayn starts but the thought of finishing that sentence sends cold chills all over his body that is now covered in goose bumps.

A tear slips down Perrie’s cheek, which she quickly wipes away. “We both saw it coming… but it hurts so much, still.” She says, looking Zayn right into his eyes with her tear-filled ones.

“I know.” He says, noticing how blurry his own vision is now becoming. “I love you, Perrie… I just think that either we fix this now… but if we can’t fix it now, we might lose it all for good.” Perrie nods, understanding what he’s trying to say.

Zayn carefully leans in, as to ask Perrie for one last kiss to which she responds by closing the gap in between the two of them. “I love you too…” She cries when the two part, she carefully gets up from the seat to walk back inside. Inside it feels as if her whole chest is crumbling to pieces.

Zayn quickly squeezes her hand as she enters the house while a tear slips down his cheek. He then pulls himself up from the seat, standing in the doorway he watches as Perrie pulls her clothes off the shelf he freed for her. “Perrie… promise that we’ll see each other again, years from now, and fall in love over again? When our lives have slowed down… when we both have the time to fall in love…” Zayn cries as he watches her every move, she stiffens at the sound of his words but then turns around to look at him.

Her face is red and puffy from the tears, her face crunches up as she holds back her cries but when they finally escape her mouth she hides her face in her hand. “I wouldn’t want anything else… you’re the one I’m meant to be with, Zayn.” She cries, slowly picking up her bag. “I can’t do this right now… my stuff belongs here because it’s all I have left to keep us alive… can I please leave it here a little longer?” Perrie cries to which Zayn just nods.