The World Forgot
And I didn't know I was lost
On the Monday following the procedure, Amanda returned to work. Howard immediately called her into his office.
“As you may know,” he started, “Or you may not remember—either way, this is the last month that we will be erasing your memory. At the end of the month, you may acquire the journals you have been keeping over the last year.”
Amanda nodded her head and smiled.
“Will I still get to keep the secretary job?” she questioned.
“Of course,” he said. Howard went to his office door and opened it, motioning for a man who was standing outside to come into his office. “Now, Amanda this is Ryan. I’d like you to get to know him this month, and then at the end of the month he will be erased from your memory.”
Amanda nodded her head in understanding, staring at Ryan in curiosity. She couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was. His eyes were incredibly blue and his brown hair was slightly on the unruly side.
“It’s nice to meet you, Amanda,” he said, reaching out to shake his hand. She was hesitant, but eventually took his hand.
“Same to you,” she murmured.
“I’ll let you two get acquainted,” Howard said, stepping around them and leaving his office to prepare for the day.
“So how long have you been working for Lacuna now?” Ryan asked, his hands sliding the pockets of his pants.
“Almost a year now,” she answered, smiling. “It’s hard to believe!”
They stood in silence for a few moments, neither knowing exactly what to say.
When they both finally spoke, it was at the same time. Ryan quickly asked, “Would you like to get dinner tonight?” at the same time as Amanda issued an uncomfortable, “Well, I should get to my desk.”
They smiled at each other.
“What was that?” Amanda asked.
“I was just wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight?”
Amanda looked hesitant.
“Not… Not like a date, or anything, right?” she questioned.
“No, no of course not,” he answered.
“Okay,” she said, looking down. “You seem like a nice guy and all but I don’t want to get involved with someone I’m going to forget in a month.”
“No worries,” Ryan said, smiling. “I completely understand.”
“Would you like to just grab something after work? I know this great little pizza place nearby.”
“That sounds perfect.”
---
The thing about this pizza place was that Ryan and Amanda always went there at least once during their month together. Ryan liked to think that she always suggested it because in the back of her mind it reminded her of him, but it was most likely due to the fact that Amanda just really loved their pizza.
“So what’s it like having your memory erased?” Ryan asked the usual question. He always tried to make sure it seemed like he didn’t know more than he let on, which seemed to get more and more difficult the longer they did this. If he was being completely honest, he always hated having to completely start over with her month after month, and even more honestly, she was completely worth it.
He didn’t even have to listen to her response (It was always the same: a shrug of the shoulders, an explanation of the feeling of slight confusion, and the initial feeling like you forgot something), he could just admire her. He liked watching her speak, the way her fingers would tug at a few strands of her hair which had gotten longer. The way her eyes sparkled when she smiled and laughed. The way she looked at him as if she was absorbing everything and anything she could about him.
“It’s hard to believe I’ve had 11 different people erased from my memory,” she was saying. “I always wonder who they are… And now, you will be number 12!”
He wished he could just tell her that he was in fact one through eleven, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead, he did what he usually did: forced a smile and laughed.
And normally Amanda bought the whole charade, but after that she was more quiet and subdued. Inexplicably she felt sad. It made her limbs heavy and her throat tighten, and she was glad when she was finally back in her apartment.
Something about this whole situation had gotten to her—something felt off, like something she hadn’t realized was gone was now missing.
“As you may know,” he started, “Or you may not remember—either way, this is the last month that we will be erasing your memory. At the end of the month, you may acquire the journals you have been keeping over the last year.”
Amanda nodded her head and smiled.
“Will I still get to keep the secretary job?” she questioned.
“Of course,” he said. Howard went to his office door and opened it, motioning for a man who was standing outside to come into his office. “Now, Amanda this is Ryan. I’d like you to get to know him this month, and then at the end of the month he will be erased from your memory.”
Amanda nodded her head in understanding, staring at Ryan in curiosity. She couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was. His eyes were incredibly blue and his brown hair was slightly on the unruly side.
“It’s nice to meet you, Amanda,” he said, reaching out to shake his hand. She was hesitant, but eventually took his hand.
“Same to you,” she murmured.
“I’ll let you two get acquainted,” Howard said, stepping around them and leaving his office to prepare for the day.
“So how long have you been working for Lacuna now?” Ryan asked, his hands sliding the pockets of his pants.
“Almost a year now,” she answered, smiling. “It’s hard to believe!”
They stood in silence for a few moments, neither knowing exactly what to say.
When they both finally spoke, it was at the same time. Ryan quickly asked, “Would you like to get dinner tonight?” at the same time as Amanda issued an uncomfortable, “Well, I should get to my desk.”
They smiled at each other.
“What was that?” Amanda asked.
“I was just wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight?”
Amanda looked hesitant.
“Not… Not like a date, or anything, right?” she questioned.
“No, no of course not,” he answered.
“Okay,” she said, looking down. “You seem like a nice guy and all but I don’t want to get involved with someone I’m going to forget in a month.”
“No worries,” Ryan said, smiling. “I completely understand.”
“Would you like to just grab something after work? I know this great little pizza place nearby.”
“That sounds perfect.”
---
The thing about this pizza place was that Ryan and Amanda always went there at least once during their month together. Ryan liked to think that she always suggested it because in the back of her mind it reminded her of him, but it was most likely due to the fact that Amanda just really loved their pizza.
“So what’s it like having your memory erased?” Ryan asked the usual question. He always tried to make sure it seemed like he didn’t know more than he let on, which seemed to get more and more difficult the longer they did this. If he was being completely honest, he always hated having to completely start over with her month after month, and even more honestly, she was completely worth it.
He didn’t even have to listen to her response (It was always the same: a shrug of the shoulders, an explanation of the feeling of slight confusion, and the initial feeling like you forgot something), he could just admire her. He liked watching her speak, the way her fingers would tug at a few strands of her hair which had gotten longer. The way her eyes sparkled when she smiled and laughed. The way she looked at him as if she was absorbing everything and anything she could about him.
“It’s hard to believe I’ve had 11 different people erased from my memory,” she was saying. “I always wonder who they are… And now, you will be number 12!”
He wished he could just tell her that he was in fact one through eleven, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead, he did what he usually did: forced a smile and laughed.
And normally Amanda bought the whole charade, but after that she was more quiet and subdued. Inexplicably she felt sad. It made her limbs heavy and her throat tighten, and she was glad when she was finally back in her apartment.
Something about this whole situation had gotten to her—something felt off, like something she hadn’t realized was gone was now missing.
♠ ♠ ♠
[Chapter title credit: Wake Me Up - Avicii]