Sunrise at Midnight

I was enraged. Astonished. Speechless. I didn’t know what to say. And the worst thing of all was that it happened so fast, so sudden, to even comprehend. But I was numb. It felt like my body had just stopped functioning. Like my brain shut down from the shock. Like my lungs gave up on breathing air. I didn’t know what to do next.

If eyes weren’t on Harry, they were on me. Everyone knew he was alive. Everyone knew I thought that he had died in the hands of Voldemort that night. If I could have been less pessimistic about it, and opened up my mind and wrapped it around the possibility that Harry was still alive before, I wouldn’t be like this right now.

How could I have been so stupid?

I heard the hat yell, “Gryffindor!” The whole table erupted in cheers and applause, standing up to welcome the Chosen One into their house. I didn’t bother to stand up or let alone clap. I didn’t have the strength to move.

But when everyone sat down, I found that energy in me to go. I felt it build up in me. I couldn’t help the anger I felt – I had to get out of the Great Hall before I caused a commotion, and now. I stood up from the table and ran. I just ran. I could care less if every eye in that room was on me, but I had to go somewhere else, somewhere alone, to think, to let it all out.

After so much running, my legs finally gave up at the hallway next to Dumbledore’s office. My back slid down the wall and my knees slowly lost the strength in them. I put my head in between my knees and began to do the only thing I could do know. Cry. Be angry at the world. Feel lied to.
So Snape, Dumbledore, and McGonagall had lied to me about Harry. They had the nerve to shove down my throat the bluff that my entire family had died in the assassination. Separate me from my brother, and tell me a lie.

Did they tell Harry that I had died that night?

Or worse, did Harry not even know he had a sister?

I don’t know how long I was there for. It could have been minutes, hours, days, and I wouldn’t have realized. My makeup was probably running all over my face, but honestly, I didn’t care.

I heard voices talking and footsteps walking towards my direction. I wiped my tears away and crawled to the other wall of the hallway, trying to see who was coming. A panicked McGonagall and a concerned Snape following Dumbledore came into view. As the three Professors entered Dumbledore’s office, I followed closely behind.

I stayed back while I watched Snape close the door in his office. I continued up the stairs towards the door and kneeled down, pressing my ear towards the door.

“-wasn’t supposed to know yet,” McGonagall’s voice exclaimed. “I was hoping she wouldn’t hear when I called his name. She was dozed off after all!”

“Minerva,” Dumbledore spoke up. “She had to find out at some point that her brother was still alive. It’s best this way, telling her would make it worse.”

Snape’s voice followed, speaking in a cold tone. “Do you even understand what that girl has been through and is probably going through right now? How this will affect her?”

Thank you Snape, for coming to your senses.

“Severus, I do understand. But it’s best for her to know now than never. Rosalie will get over the anger – she never is one to hold a grudge,” Dumbledore calmly stated as if this situation was of no importance.

Before anyone could say a thing more, I barged into the office. McGonagall jumped in shock. I was angry. I was outraged. I slammed my hands down against Dumbledore’s desk, looking up at him.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t have the decency to tell me that my brother is still alive? You just shove a lie down my throat, that’s how it is,” I yelled at him.

Snape began tugging at the back of my robe, pulling me back from the desk. I turned on my heel to face him.

“And you,” I exclaimed, pointing at Snape. “I trusted you! But no, you told me he was dead that night! That he hadn’t made it, What is wrong with you people,” I scoffed, looking at the three of them.

The three Professors were eyeing me like I had just burned down the entire castle. Dumbledore let out a sigh and broke the silence. “Rosalie, you need to understand. You not knowing was for your own good.”

“For my own damn good. Totally. Oh I know my brother is alive! I guess I have to go to Azkaban now! Merlin’s beard how is this for my own good?”

Minerva sighed. “You’ll find out sooner or later.”

Snape turned from McGonagall to me. “You need to promise us something right now. You are not to tell Potter about you and him.”

“His name is Harry,” I hissed at him. “And why can I not?”

“Because, he can’t know yet.”

“That’s not a good enough reason,” I retorted. There was no way Harry deserved to not know this. He had to know.

“Trust us,” Snape said in a low voice.

“After this? Not even bloody sure if there is anything left to trust in you for,” I snapped.

McGonagall seemed to not know what to say. I had a feeling she knew I was right, but didn’t want to admit it.

“Just promise you won’t tell him – yet. Soon, we will tell him,” Dumbledore assured. “But now is not the right time.”

I sighed. “Fine, I promise. But if he doesn’t know by winter break, I’m gonna tell him myself,” I said a bit more calmed down.

I walked out of the office without another word and back into open corridors of the castle. I began walking towards the common room, making a stop at the Girl’s bathroom. I leaned over the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I washed off my running makeup, making sure I didn’t look like some sort of zombie when I went back into the common room. I took a moment to stand there and just think while staring at my reflection. When I was finished, I exited the bathroom.

I worked my way up the stairs and stopped at the Fat Lady.

“Password?”

“Dammit,” I cursed under my breath. “I wasn’t here when the prefects told the password to the students – I was with Professor Dumbledore. Can you make an exception please?”

The portrait eyed me carefully and gave up. “Fine, but next time if you don’t know it, you’re going to be locked out.”

I entered the common room only to find all attention directed to me. I ignored it and continued up to the Girl’s dormitories, entering the room for third years. I searched for the bed with my trunks next to it, and headed in that direction. I grabbed some shorts and a baggy shirt from the trunk and threw them on. I took off my bow and put it back in the trunk. Once I was done, I plopped down on the bed.

I heard footsteps and I turned to see Rayne walking in and taking the bed across from mine. “So, what happened? When you left the Hall,” Rayne pondered, begging for answers.

I looked around to make sure no one was listening, and turned to Rayne. “I went to see Dumbledore. He told me not to tell Harry anything.”

She let out a gasp. “But why not? That’s just rude.”

I nodded, agreeing. “I know. But he says it’s ‘for my own good.’ So I guess I have to obey. But I told him if by after Christmas Break he doesn’t know, I’m going to tell him myself.”

“Damn right you will,” she said in a girl-power tone.

I laughed and got up from the bed. “Let’s just hope this year will be easier on me,” I mumbled.

Rayne sighed, laying back in her bed. “It probably won’t. But let’s hope for the best. Goodnight, Rose.”

“Goodnight, Rayne,” I said back to her, laying my head on the pillow.

All I could think about was the last thing she said to me. Because it wasn’t going to be an easy year.
And I knew it bloody well.