Your First Day at a New School

My anxiety had me up until some horrible, unneed hour of the night, and thanks to that I woke up that next morning later than I wanted to. I couldn't hardly think straight as I hurried out of my warm bed and into the cold room to get dressed. I was more than thankful that my mother had helped me lay out my clothes the night before, it saved me time.

It felt strange putting on that Blink-182 shirt and those regular blue jeans. Usually an outfit like this was saved for the weekend or after school, I hadn't ever worn such causal clothes to school ever.

This year my parents and I agreed that it would be good for me to venture out a bit. Now that didn't mean go somewhere out of the state or country but it did mean going to a new school, a public school. I had been in private school since my family and I moved to America, nearly eight years ago. At the time it was good for me but now I was a teenager going into high school, it was time for something new. Public school seemed like the best idea of something new. It wouldn't be all bad they told me since I'd be starting the first day of school and I'd be new just like a hundred other freshmen students. Although they were all familiar with public school and most of them would already have friends from middle school the general experience of high school would be new to them as well.

At that moment though, while I put on my clothes and stood in front of my bathroom mirror trying to get my hair to look just right while making sure nothing was stuck in my teeth, none of that stuff my parents and the principal said mattered. The only thing on my mind was all of the worries that came along with a sack of anxiety the weight of bricks. I couldn't stop it, no matter what I told myself. "It's just chemicals Alex" "It'll all be fine" "Count to ten" "Close your eyes" "Don't hide, you have to do it"

I left the bathroom before I would start having a panic attack, it was going to be all okay. I went to the kitchen where my mother had my backpack on the diner table along with a sack lunch and my favorite breakfast. I didn't see her anywhere but I could hear her digging around a stack of papers, most likely in the office room. I calmly ate my breakfast, for some reason the sound of my mother rushing around calming me. I will never understand why but I more then thankful that I got calm.

My mother drove me to school since it was my first day and I had missed the bus. She told me for the first two weeks she could drive me in the morning but I would have to ride the bus home after school. Which was a bit scary but honestly I'd rather ride the in the afternoon and not the morning when I'm still half asleep. Since it was the first day, she promised to pick me up, which I was thankful for.

Dulaney High was bigger then what I was use to but it was also smaller then I was expecting. In stories they always go on and on about how big and scary the school is but in honestly it was like that. The nerdy reader in me was slightly disappointed. Dulaney was just average, nothing special about it, just plain and simple. I gave my mother the best smile I could muster up, while I was very unfazed by the size of the school the idea of this still had my nerves on edge.

Teens were everywhere, some big, some small, some in big groups, some alone, I had never felt more out of place then in that moment right then. I felt like backing out, like just turning around right there and running right back into my mothers car but I didn't. I will never understand why I didn't run back but I will always be glad that I stayed. No matter how nervous I was it did get better.

I walked into the building, though I really had no idea where I was suppose to go, I just walked along with the general flow of people. Soon I found a massive glob of students around a long row of four, white paper covered tables. It looked like I should be there so I stayed and walked closer to where everyone was.

The tables were separated by grade, 9-12, and at each table was four different students that were probably seniors. The seniors all had a card in front of them with two letters on it. I went over to the grade nine table and stood in the globby line in front of the girl whose card read A-G. I stood nervously while I waited for the slow line to more faster so I could figure out where I needed to go.

"Hey I'm Jack," someone said from behind me. I turned around to see who was talking so loudly, just like a few other students around did. It surprised me to see a lanky boy smiling wide right at me. I looked around us a little, wondering if he was really talking to me or if he was talking to someone else. I didn't want to say hi back and then be embarrassed by not really being the one he was talking to.

"Hi," I said lightly as I looked back at him and saw him staring right at me.

"Your shirt!" He exclaimed louder than he spoke. More people looked over at us and down at my shirt and then they looked over me. My anxiety skyrocketed again. Not only were people staring at me but this kid, Jack, was possibly going to make fun of me for wearing a Blink shirt. Maybe uniforms were worn for a reason, to protect every kid like me from getting made fun of. "I love Blink!" Jack exclaimed as a wide smile spread across his face. Could his voice had gotten any louder? I would soon come to learn that yes, his voice could go a lot louder.

As soon as I saw him smile all of my worries and nervousness flew right out of me. It was like it was a magical smile, but it really wasn't, it was just Jack's smile. I smiled back at him, knowing that if that was anyone else right there I wouldn't be so willing to show off my smile. "Me too," was the first thing that said to him, and in the future I would come to regret saying something so simple, so stupid. "I'm Alex," I added as my smile grew the slightest bit.

Ever since that moment everything got better. The rest of the day went by nicely, and even though Jack and I didn't really have many classes together the thought of him just made everything better. He made things not so jumbled up, not so complicated. Jack always knew what to say and when to say to make all of the anxiety leave, as if it never existed in the first place.

Jack made public school worth it, and when my parents talked with me about how school was they were quickly convinced I was truly doing great with school. Seeing me with Jack was the only explanation they needed. A friendship stronger then the universe itself, that how we made it threw high school, how I made it threw public school.

First days aren't ever scary for me, as long as I have my Jack I can face anything.