Splinters

The building manager was kind enough to tell Tyla what room Reve was staying in and wise enough not to ask questions. Reve didn't say anything when he answered the door, just pulled Tyla into a hug. The look on Tyla’s face and the bag full of his belongings he held at his side said enough.

It wasn’t easy for Tyla to focus long enough to fill out the resignation papers, but with Reve’s help he managed. When it came time to leave, Tyla had to force down the desperate need to go running back to Malyn. He knew leaving was the right thing to do, but it felt so, so wrong. He climbed into the waiting vehicle, dug his fingernails into his palms, and sat stiffly as the car began to move.

They'd only been on the road for about ten minutes when Tyla asked the driver to stop, opened the car door, and gagged up his breakfast all over the road. He was glad he’d gotten into the habit of keeping his hair tied back.

"Done?" the driver asked cautiously when Tyla slammed the car door shut again. Tyla groaned confirmation.

"Yes, you can keep going," Reve told the driver. "Maybe drive a bit slower, though. He's feeling a little unwell."

"I thought you lot didn't get sick," the driver said as the car started moving again.

"We don't catch diseases. There are other ways to get sick."

The driver grunted. "Well, as long as he doesn't do it on my upholstery."

It wasn't difficult to pick the point where Gaian lands crossed over into Talan lands. Over fifteen years had passed since their worlds had shattered and recombined into one, but there was still a fairly clear point where the land changed. The road ran out, for one thing, replaced by a dirt track that wound around to meet up with the paved stone road leading into Nuuvatu. The soil was richer on the Talan side of the border and the plants a brighter green. Eventually things would blend together more and they'd have to put up official markers along the border, but for now it was clear enough.

Humans were welcome in Talan land as long as they didn't plan on settling, but not past the gates of Nuuvatu. That was where the driver dropped them off.

Nuuvatu was an ancient city, hardly changed at all in the thousands of years before the splintering and just as little in the fifteen years after. They were lucky that out of all the places in their entire world their capital city was the part they'd been left with. They still had their high council and, though they were outnumbered by far by the humans, they weren't an endangered species.

Despite its towering buildings, Nuuvatu was far greener than the base. Trees lined the streets and flowers and vines covered balconies. All the buildings at the base were grey concrete, cold and functional, but in Nuuvatu every piece of architecture doubled as a work of art. They built with stone, wood, and glass, and decorated with precious metals and gemstones.

It should have felt nice, being in such a beautiful place, in the city he'd been raised in. It should have felt like home, but it didn't. Nowhere could be home without Malyn. Tyla threw up against a lamppost, and then stared down at it blankly until Reve gently led him away.

They didn't have electricity, but they did have elevators, external pods that went up and down. Most things that could be done with technology could be done with magic and, though most Talan probably wouldn't have wanted to hear it, the same was often true in reverse. They took the pod to one of the upper levels of a tall, silver-grey building where Reve's apartment was located.

The moment the door opened Tris made a sound of excitement and launched himself into Reve's arms, his curly black hair springing with the motion. It was a painful reminder of when Malyn had done the same thing to Reve the day before. Tyla felt like throwing up again, but managed to resist the urge for the sake of their floors.

Over Reve's shoulder, Tris frowned at Tyla. He pulled away from Reve and stepped around him to look Tyla over. "Oh, love, you don't look good. What happened?"

"He accidentally bonded with Mal," Reve answered on Tyla's behalf. Tyla was grateful. Hearing the words was painful enough without having to say them.

Though they'd only met once before and only for a few hours, Tyla suddenly had his arms full of Tris.
"You're leaving him, then?" Tris asked, arms still wrapped around Tyla. "You're going to break the bond?"

Tyla sighed and did his best to keep his voice from wavering. "He's a twenty four year old human. We weren't even dating. That's not something I ever would have asked of him, even if I thought he might agree to it."

Tris made a pained sound. "Are you staying in Nuuvatu for a while?"

When Tris pulled back, Tyla nodded. He felt too tired, too nauseated to explain his whole plan — that he was going to seek out a way to sever the bond more quickly as soon as he was well again — so he settled for a simple, “For a while.”

Tris turned to Reve, a hopeful look on his face. "He's staying with us, isn't he?"

"At least until he's feeling better, yes. Let's go inside, shall we?"

Tyla had never been in Reve's apartment, hadn't even been back to Nuuvatu since meeting Reve through Malyn, but the layout was familiar enough. Roll out padded mats for beds, rolled up because it was day time; a small fold out table and cushions to sit on; overfilled bookshelves and piles of books that didn't fit on them stacked on the floor; a nook in one corner with shelves and chests to store their clothes and other belongings. They didn't have any facilities to cook food, but they did have cupboards to store it in and a basin for washing things.

There was also a door on the other side of the room through which Tyla assumed the washroom was located. Tyla hoped that was where the washroom was, anyway, because he was going to throw up in whatever was through there regardless.

After he was done emptying his already empty stomach in what had indeed ended up being a washroom, Tyla returned to the main room, rolled out the mat in the corner, and curled up on it. It was poor manners, of course, to simply claim someone else’s sleeping space, but Tyla didn't care. He didn't care about much just then.

"Never leave me," Tyla heard Tris say to Reve.

Tris offered him food, all the fruits and nuts Tyla had missed from his younger years, but the very thought of eating made Tyla feel like heading to the washroom again, so he declined.

Tris stroked Tyla's hair for a while, asked him if he needed anything, fussed around anxiously when Tyla said no. Reve went out, came home, let Tris vent his worries but otherwise stayed uninvolved. Eventually Tris sat down at the end of the mat and began reading aloud for Tyla.

Tyla appreciated it. He had missed Talan stories, had missed tales told in the language he'd known since before he’d even laid eyes on the world. It resonated with him in a way Gaian stories had never been able to. He did his best not to think about all the Talan words he’d taught Malyn, all the words Malyn had already known before they'd met. He tried to forget the way Malyn's voice had sounded when he'd said them, his accent a mix of Gaian and that of his own people.

Tyla fell asleep to the sound of Tris' voice and woke only when Tris gently lifted him from the larger mat he and Reve shared onto a smaller mat reserved for guests. Consciousness didn't last long, though, and Tyla quickly fell back into a restless slumber.

When Tyla woke his muscles ached and he felt no less nauseated than when he’d fallen asleep. He finally understood how humans felt when they were sick, and he wished he didn't. I want Mal, was all Tyla could think, over and over again. I want Mal, I want Mal, I want Mal. Tyla reminded himself why he was doing this, for Malyn, for himself, but none of it felt worth this misery. Bonds were never meant to be broken like this, not before death, and his entire being was reminding him of that.

Tris was so insistent that Tyla eat that eventually Tyla relented just to get Tris to leave him alone. He promptly threw the few bites of fruit he'd eaten up onto the mat. When he couldn't get his magic to work well enough for a simple cleaning spell, Tris did it for him.

Normally Tyla’s magic ran through him like a liquid, easily moved and manipulated, but just then it felt like it had been replaced with custard. It was still there, but it was useless to him. He wanted to purge it from his body but didn’t know how. Throwing up certainly wasn’t helping.

“It will get worse before it gets better, I’m afraid,” Reve told Tyla’s curled up form on the mat. “You’re making magic for Malyn and will continue to do so for a while. The magic you’re making for him is not compatible with your own, however. In small doses there are no issues, but once it starts to build up... Your body is rejecting it.”

“Custard,” Tyla murmured.

“You can’t eat custard,” Reve told Tyla, his voice gentle.

“Exactly.”

Tris worked from home, copying out books by hand. It would have been far quicker to do it the human way, with machinery, but that also would have taken a lot of life out of them. Talan books were works of art for more than just the stories written within.

Reve went out during the day. His job involved overseeing relations between humans and Talan. Perhaps that was something Tyla could take a part in too, but likely not for a while. Even if he hadn’t been so unwell he felt too fiercely protective of Malyn to tolerate anyone insulting anything even tangentially related to him.

Despite what Reve had said, Tyla had still expected to start feeling better soon. Not emotionally, but physically. He had expected his body to triumph, to clear itself of all that was weighing it down. As the days went by, though, he only felt worse.

His gut ached constantly and his whole body, his whole being, felt off balance. He slept a lot and spent most of the rest of the time curled up on his side, wishing for more sleep to come. Even boredom seemed unable to reach him through his misery.

It was hard to watch Reve and Tris sometimes. They were considerate of him — kept the greatest of their affections to the washroom — but every look and touch between them made Tyla wish it were he and Malyn in their place.

He had a few startling moments of lucidity when someone succeeded in capturing and holding his attention, but most of his time his head was full of fog. The brightness of the room and every sound he heard were too intense, but at the same time nothing felt real, like he was in a dream.

Tyla watched light move across the ceiling as the sun made its way through the sky and hoped that he would die. Sometimes when someone's bonded partner died, they would too. Just lose the will to live, lay down, and eventually die. They hadn't been bonded long enough for that, though, and Malyn wasn't dead, but it felt like a possibility. Tyla refused to eat no matter how much Tris insisted.

There was a tapping sound, repetitive and annoying, and it was distracting Tyla from his misery. Tris was too absorbed in his writing to pay it any mind, so eventually Tyla pushed himself up with a huff and looked around the room, seeking the source of his irritation.

There was a bubble outside the window, clear and shiny, bumping itself against the glass over and over.

"Message," Tyla informed Tris before collapsing back down onto the bed.

They didn't have radios or any of the more advanced Gaian technologies, but they did have the bubbles if they had need to communicate over a distance. The bubbles had their downsides — they couldn't be delivered instantly and they couldn't penetrate solid objects — but in a fairly sedate society they generally served their purpose. Tris opened the window and let the bubble in.

There was a popping sound, and then a slightly echoey voice said, "This is a message for Tyla Markin. There is a young human male outside marked with magic, demanding to see his husband."

This was against all of Tyla's plans, everything he should have hoped for, but he couldn't help the flood of joy and relief in his gut. He did his best to stomp it back down. There was no way for this to be a good thing.

"Well?" Tris asked after the message was over.

Tyla scrubbed a hand over his face and when he spoke his words came out slow and slurred. "I suppose... go and get him. If he's calling himself my husband, it sounds like we need to talk. If they refuse him entrance point out that he's bonded to me, that he has Talan magic in him. I doubt there are any laws regarding the matter yet, but if there were I suspect he would be given certain rights."

It was strange, talking so much, feeling something other than apathy and nausea and grief for the first time in days. That he was able to form coherent sentences at all surprised him. His heart ached with longing, with hope, with all kinds of things he shouldn't have allowed himself to feel.

Tris gave him a smile. "I will go and get him."

Tyla wanted to go himself, to see Malyn as soon as possible, to watch Malyn's face as he saw the streets of Nuuvatu for the first time. He and Tris both knew that he wasn't well enough to get out of bed, though. So he waited.

Tyla had no way of knowing how much time passed, but it seemed too long. His head started filling with morose thoughts. Perhaps Malyn hadn't been allowed in, or perhaps Tris had convinced him to go away to avoid making things worse. Tyla should have wanted that, but he didn't. He deeply, desperately didn't.

Before Tyla had left he'd kept Malyn so close that he hadn't noticed the connection between them, the way he could feel Malyn's presence before he saw or heard him. Now it was obvious. Tyla's legs shook when he stood, but by the time Tris made it up to the apartment with Malyn in tow Tyla was waiting for them at the door.

Malyn looked different, tired in a way lack of sleep had never wrought in him. There were shadows under his eyes and his skin was a shade paler than usual. He pulled Tyla into a hug, warm and tight like Tyla needed, the way Tyla wanted to hug back but couldn't muster the strength to. Something stirred in Tyla, reached out and latched onto Malyn, and he knew they were making things worse by touching, by being near one another. He didn’t pull away. He couldn’t, and not only because he lacked the energy.

So he gave up and let himself enjoy the embrace. Tyla hadn’t realised he was cold until he felt the heat of Malyn’s body against his. It reminded him of the sensation of a warm shower after being drenched in freezing rain, satisfying in a way magic couldn’t replicate. He’d been hugged many times in his life, but he’d never been held like this. He felt his own desperation echoed in strength of Malyn’s grip. For the first time in days, he felt real. He brought his arms up and returned the embrace in a way that could only be described as clinging.

How would he ever be able to let go again? He was suddenly terrified he'd become violent if someone tried to make him.

All the same, the first words he said to Malyn were, "You can't be here. You can't just do this, Mal. This has to be forever."

Malyn released Tyla before prodding him into the apartment and following after him. "Yes, forever. I've decided. Forever is okay. I mean, we can at least try this, right?"

That hadn't been what Tyla had meant. He'd meant it had to be goodbye forever. However impossible what Malyn was suggesting was, though, he far preferred it.

"He's been very sick," Tris told Malyn gently. "You can't just try this, Malyn. You were in the early stages of bonding, but if you stay together a year or two before parting ways things will be much more difficult for him. It could kill him."

Malyn paced across the room, moving much further away than Tyla wanted him. "Well, okay, not 'try'. Just do. I can do forever. The way I see it, yeah, I can't absolutely guarantee I won't regret this decision. I love you, Ty, but I'm too practical to think there are any kinds of guarantees in life. But I know for absolute sure that if I give you up now I will regret it. I was away from you for less than a week and I already regret it like crazy."

"And if you change your mind?" Tris asked. Tyla was lucky Tris was there, asking the practical questions. All practicality was gone from Tyla's mind. He just wanted to say yes.

"Then I'll stay anyway. Maybe he'll stop being attracted to me when I get wrinkly and old and I'll have to become celibate, but I can live with that. It's only what, sixty, seventy, eighty years? I can do that."

"Having his magic in you will slow your aging," Tris said. "It could easily be twice that."

Malyn shrugged. "A longer lifespan? I can live with that. Hell, it sounds great. Sign me up."

Tyla couldn't resist anymore. He walked over to Malyn, wrapped his arms around him, and leant against him so heavily that Malyn could no longer keep standing and eased them both to the floor.

Malyn kissed the top of Tyla's head, the gentle brush of his lips a level of tenderness he’d never offered Tyla before. "It's just... this past year, at the new base, I thought, wow, I've finally found a home again. For so many years I thought that the only place I could call home was gone, that I could never find another. But then I did. And then you left, and... and I realised the base was never my home. It was just cold grey buildings and a job that's frankly a little depressing. You're my home, Ty. Please don't take that away."

"I don't think I can let you go again," Tyla murmured. He felt helpless but liberated. He was no longer strong enough to make any other decision, so for better or for worse the decision had been made.

#

Reve came back a couple of hours later to find Tyla and Malyn cuddled up on Tyla's borrowed mat. The longer they were close, the better Tyla felt. If he focussed on it, he could almost feel the magic clogging up his system passing from his body into Malyn’s as a physical sensation like pooling heat wherever their bodies touched.

"I'm keeping him," Tyla said before Reve had a chance to comment.

"Well, okay..." Reve said. "I assume if he's here he has agreed to this decision?"

"I made it," Malyn said. "We work too well together to be apart."

Reve didn’t look entirely convinced, but he nodded anyway. “This is a decision only the two of you can make and, as you seem to have already made it, I will offer you nothing but my congratulations.”

“Good,” Malyn murmured, his hand stroking an idle line down Tyla’s back.

Reve observed the casual affection with curious eyes, but he made no comment on it. “If you two won't be leaving straight away, I suggest your own apartment. This is an important time to have your own space."

Malyn's fingers plucked casually at the hem of Tyla’s shirt, sending goosebumps down Tyla’s spine. "I'd like to, but I don't know if I'd be allowed. They were reluctant enough even letting me though the gates."

Reve nodded. "You're lucky I'm a diplomat, then. Don't worry. There aren't any laws yet, but the way I see things the bond ought to grant you citizenship. I'll arrange that and a place for the two of you to stay."

Tyla made a sound of acknowledgement. Those were important things, but Malyn was there and Malyn was touching him and Tyla was just so tired. He couldn't make himself care about the details.

After Reve had left, Tris tried to get some food into Tyla again. This time, Tyla allowed it. He took a few cautious mouthfuls and then discovered he was ravenous. Malyn's arrival had chased away his issues with food.

"This is actually good," Malyn commented as he chewed on one of the nut cakes.

Tris gave him an amused smile. "Thank you?"

"No, I mean... at the base as far as vegan things go it's pretty much totally fresh whole food, like slices of fruit or salads, or just... awful things. I will eat a lot of things, but there are limits. But this. This is good."

"Minorities are poorly catered to in any society," Tyla commented. He was leaning heavily against Malyn's side as he munched on his food. "When everyone eats a vegan diet, people start bothering to make good vegan food."

"You should make them a cookbook for their next birthday," Malyn declared. "Put this thing in it."

"Who's 'them'?" Tyla asked.

"I don't know. The base?"

"I will make sure I have a cookbook prepared for the base's next birthday, then. For sure."

Malyn poked Tyla in the side. "Ass. I just thought you might like better food."

"We don't have any of the same plants," Tris contributed as he handed Malyn another nut cake.
Malyn frowned as he took the food. "Oh. Yeah, I guess."

Tris offered Tyla another nut cake too, but he declined. He'd eaten in a frenzy early on, but he was just about full.

"I do agree that something should be done about it, though," Tris said. "Perhaps Reve could arrange for someone to be sent out to assess the available ingredients and what can be done with them."

There was a clattering sound outside and then, as if summoned by his name, the door swung open and Reve stepped in. "All tasks complete. I expect accolades."

Tyla stretched out and then flopped back onto the mat. "I'm too tired for accolades. How about us being out of your apartment by nightfall?"

"I could live with that, yes. As much as I love you both, I’m more than a little eager to have Tris to myself again." Reve held a roll of paper out to Malyn. "I need you to mark this. It essentially says that you will speak to nobody about this place or about anything you learn here."

"Sounds fine. Anyone got a pen?" Malyn asked as he unrolled the piece of paper and started reading. Someone, most likely Reve, had helpfully written a translation below the block of Talan text.

Tyla was exhausted, but he still had enough energy to be amused at Malyn's expense. He let out a snort of laughter. "You mark with blood, not ink."

"Oh." Malyn, to his credit, was only momentarily phased. "Does anyone have a knife or something sharp, then? Or some kind of cutting spell, I guess?"

"You don't want any cutting spell I know near your skin, trust me." Tyla made a grasping gesture towards his bag which lay on the ground out of his reach. "I have a knife, but I lack the willpower to get up and get it."

"Don't get used to me waiting on you," Malyn grumbled as he crawled towards the bag.

"You're the one who needs it." Tyla reached out and grabbed Malyn's ankle before he could get too far away, forcing Malyn to stretch out to reach for the bag. The intention had been to prevent Malyn from getting out of arm's reach because Tyla just could not deal with that right now, but the way Malyn's body was stretching out was doing amazing things to his shoulders and ass. For once, Tyla didn't feel the need to pretend not to look.

As soon as Malyn had the knife, he scooted back over to the mat.

"I like this knife," Malyn said, and then sliced the tip of it into his finger.

After pressing his bleeding finger where Reve directed him to on the piece of paper, Malyn licked off the excess blood and then held his finger up to the light to examine it. The small break in the skin was still there, clearly visible, but the bleeding had already stopped.

"Is it going to heal up quickly like the burn?" Malyn asked.

"Ooh, I know enough healing magic to take care of it!" Tris spoke up. "Would you like me to heal it for you?"

Malyn shook his head, still examining his finger. "Nah, I'm not that much of a wuss. This is scientific curiosity."

"If you start hurting yourself just to test your healing speed I'm taking away your knife privileges," Tyla warned.

Malyn shot Tyla a look of mock disappointment. "Why do you hate science?"

"Blood stains are so difficult to clean."

Reve had rolled the piece of paper back up into a tube, and he bopped Malyn on the head with it. "That's taken care of, then. Get out of my apartment."

Reve and Tris gave them the spare mat, some cushions, and some food, then sent them to an empty apartment a few floors above their own.

Tyla was glad of the apartment’s simplicity, the lack of furnishings, the absence of anything to take Malyn's attention from him. The temporary distance between them had created in him a shameful amount of desperation just to be close, just to touch.

Malyn, of course, did not share those feelings. It wasn't for lack of love — Malyn simply didn't have the same instincts, the same biological resistance to being apart. The same room was good enough for him, as it always had been for Tyla before.

"This place is crazy," Malyn said as he stared out of the window, down at the street below. "Like, just... Well, I was going to say like another world, but that's exactly what it is. I don't get why you would leave."

Tyla wanted to go over and stand behind Malyn, to wrap his arms around him and watch the people down below together. He didn't want to seem clingy, though, so he rolled out the mat and lay down instead. "If you lived here, what would you do?"

Malyn glanced back at Tyla. "Huh?"

"If you lived here, had always lived here, what would you do with your life? What would you choose to become?"

The moment stretched, long and silent, as Malyn skimmed his eyes over the skyline.

"Oh," Malyn said eventually, like suddenly he understood.

"I mean, they don't let me kill anyone here. You can understand how that might get dull."

Malyn smiled at Tyla and shook his head. "Shut up. I think we should kiss now."

"Is this a democracy? I vote yes. I'm not sure what happens if we disagree on something. Do we have to bring Reve and Tris in?"

Malyn crouched down next to Tyla. "That could get awkward with the direction this is going in. Now hush."

Hushing wasn't really an optional matter at that point, because Malyn's lips were in the way of Tyla's. A moment later his body was also in the way of Tyla's, pressing down on it, but Tyla had zero complaints about either of those matters.

In a way it was weird, and in a way it was weird because it wasn't weird enough. Malyn was his best friend and they'd never even talked about anything like this, never even mentioned it. But... now that it was happening, it felt natural. Whether it was the bond or simply that they were a good match Tyla didn't know, and he didn't much feel like questioning it.

Tyla had never done anything like this with a human before, and the differences between Malyn's body and that of a Talan were more obvious than ever. By human standards Malyn was quite thin — or, well, by human military standards, anyway. His body was still heavier than that of most Talan, though. Bulkier, more angular, firmer.

At first glance Malyn didn't looked suited to combat at all, but it took strength to draw his bow as far as he did, over and over. The clothes he wore were generally too loose to show it, but there was firm, wiry muscle across his arms, shoulders, and back. Tyla ran his hands along them over the top of Malyn's shirt, and then underneath it.

Tyla might have been shy, not because he generally was with sex but, well, Malyn. Malyn wasn't, though, didn't give Tyla the space to be, and so Tyla wasn't.

Malyn started a gentle rocking of his hips, something that probably would have gotten Tyla worked up if he wasn't so tired. In Tyla's current state of mind, though, he just found it relaxing. Simple pleasure he needn't do much to receive. He returned Malyn's affections enough to express his receptiveness, but otherwise just enjoyed it.

Malyn smelled human. As long as Tyla had been around humans he’d been vaguely aware that they smelled different from Talan, but he’d never had the opportunity to breathe it in as he was now. It was a heavy, musky, earthy scent, pleasantly real. Talan were fond of perfume and other artificial scents, but they didn’t smell of much on their own.

Tyla didn't feel any particular need to actually get off, not just then, but the same was clearly not the case for Malyn. The pace of his rocking had increased and the kissing had stopped, replaced by heavy breathing against Tyla's neck. Tyla stroked down Malyn's back, squeezed his ass, and then held Malyn close when Malyn's hips jerked rapidly and then stilled as he let out a sharp groan. Tyla hadn’t come, hadn’t even been particularly close, but a wave of pleasure rolled through his body like an echo, then faded as Malyn’s body relaxed.

Once his breathing had calmed again, Malyn murmured, "That was the only pair of underpants I had with me. I mean, that occurred to me a couple of minutes ago, before I made a mess of them, but I was hardly going to stop."

Tyla let out a huff of laughter and tapped Malyn's ass. "Lift."

Malyn obeyed without question, which Tyla thought could probably be put to future use somehow. Now that he had access, he shoved a hand down the front of Malyn's pants.

Malyn jerked reflexively, but he didn't pull away. "This would have been appreciated a lot more before I came."

Tyla used his free hand to cover Malyn's mouth, earning him a raised eyebrow. "I'm tired. You're not helping my focus. Stop licking my hand or I'll leave you with sticky underwear."

Malyn obeyed, staying still and silent while Tyla performed the cleaning spell. It would have been one of the easiest spells on any other day, but just then using his magic felt like wading through mud.

After lifting the elastic of his underwear to examine their interior and deeming them satisfactory, Malyn asked, "Do you want me to do anything for you?"

"No. Too tired."

"Yeah. I figured." Instead Malyn gave Tyla what he really needed and cuddled down next to him, twining their bodies together and settling in for sleep. It didn't take long for it to arrive.