Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention

“Brendon!” William barked.

Brendon froze and squeezed his eyes shut. Three days wasn’t enough time to decide. He needed more time. The thoughts of what was happening and his accidental involvement in it had been the only thing on his mind the last few days. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t drink. He couldn’t do anything other than worry over the crucial decision that he would have to make. But he hadn’t decided yet. He needed more time. Ryan was his best friend. He had been his best friend for so long now, he could barely remember a time when that wasn’t so. But they had drifted apart over the past year or so, and William was there to make Brendon still feel important. William was his closest friend now. Ryan spent too much time with his precious Anna. But now he had to decide.

“Yes?” he gulped.

William motioned for him to join him with a swift hand movement. Of course, Brendon could do nothing but comply.

“Do you know yet?”

“Know what?” 'Play dumb?'

Beckett’s eyes flashed with powerful anger and annoyance, and immediately Brendon tried to backtrack.

“Oh! The… Anna and Ryan… thing… yeah. Um… I don’t know yet. There hasn’t been the right opportunity to invade Ryan’s mind.”

Beckett’s eyes once again showed signs of contempt and irritation, but that look disappeared so quickly Brendon could have imagined it. Unexpectedly, William’s face broke out in a toothy grin.

“That’s quite alright, Bren. Take your time.”

Bren? William Beckett didn’t call anyone by their nicknames anymore… except for perhaps Bella, but Brendon really didn’t need to be thinking thoughts like that right now… or ever… He was just thankful that he’d bought himself a little more time.

“But you know,” Beckett continued and gave a small shrug. “You could always just follow them. It would save you the guilt of betraying him by reading what he doesn’t want you to read…”

But that’s exactly what hurt. Ryan never used to keep anything a secret from him. That’s why they had originally agreed to forming their own group. Now Brendon was forced to search through his friend’s mental shields to discover what was going on. But could he really blame Ryan? Was he still going to tell William now that he knew his friend could die? Ryan did have reason for hiding it… And in a way he was protecting Brendon… Bring on the headache.

“Uh, thanks William. I’ll think about it. Right now I need to get some sleep, though.” He yawned for effect. “I’ll figure this out eventually.”

As Brendon Urie left the room, he knew that he was trying to convince himself more than the man in front of him.

As soon as Brendon left the room, William’s smile fell into an annoyed snarl. With long, spindly fingers, he massaged his sore cheekbones. False smiling was a tough effort. In a further display of his irritation, he picked up a crystal glass and threw it sharply at the opposite wall, watching it smash and shatter into a million pieces. This all happened in less than a second, the speed ridiculous in his frustration. Why couldn’t he trust anyone? He needed this information now, not whenever Brendon was ready to find it! If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself… But, turns out, William didn’t have to do this himself.

***

Brendon ran a hand through his hair stressfully. He knew he should have told William, but Ryan and Anna’s faces kept appearing in his mind, lying lifeless together and splattered with dried blood. Why did he drag himself into this? He needed help.

All but flying through the mansion, Brendon’s face was scrunched in frustration and concentration as he tried to find the face he was looking for. Travis could always make him feel lighter with all his jokes. And he really needed to forget this for a little while.

When he found him, Travis was sitting at the dining table with Adam Siska laughing at something. All of a sudden Brendon didn’t know what to do. How was he to approach the subject? And Adam couldn’t know… How was he going to get Travis away without arousing suspicion?

“’Sup Brendon?” Travis asked, flashing him a toothy smile.

“’Sup,” he replied nonchalantly, slipping into a seat beside them.

“Hi,” Adam murmured.

“Hey,” he murmured back.

They both felt kind of awkward. They both found the other somewhat intimidating. They were both internally debating how to make this situation less uncomfortable. They were both more similar than they realized.

The silence grew unbelievable, and Brendon couldn’t take it anymore, breaking it as quietly as he could.

“Uh, Travie, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?”

“Sure,” Travis answered, masking his quizzical look and standing up. “I’ll be back in a few, Sisky.”

Adam nodded, but his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. There were no secrets in the Dandy mansion. Or at least that’s the way it used to be. Now everything was just seeming more and more underground. And he was completely out of it. He narrowed his eyes as Travis and Brendon left. Brendon kept throwing anxious glances over his shoulder. Adam was a very curious being. His curiosity often got him caught in sticky situations. This was no exception. The young vampire, not even thinking, kept his eyes on the two older ones through the walls. His already dangerous curiosity got the best of him when Travis’ eyes widened in a shocked expression, and he sent his ears to join their conversation.

“…Are you sure?” Travis asked, worriedly.

“Positive,” Brendon nodded. “Ryan admitted it.”

“Woah,” Travis rubbed his eyes wearily. “I know how much they love each other, but this… seeing Fall Out Boy… that’s just so…”

“Foolish?” Brendon offered.

“I was going to say something like brave, but I guess that’s being a bit too optimistic. It’s so dangerous! Are you going to tell William?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I needed to talk to you. Ryan has been my best friend for so long, but now we barely ever get to hang out. I still believe in William’s ideals, and he has been my friend for a long time too. I’m supposed to be loyal to him. And now that Ryan’s breaking his law…”

“Are you sure I’m the right person to talk to about this?” Travis whispered suddenly. “I’m probably kind of biased. Ryan and Anna are both my close friends. I hang out with them all the time. I can see how hard it is for them to be together without complete love, and it’s painful for me to see. Michael feels it too. When you see them together, so happy yet so sad at the same time, your heart can’t help but break. I can understand perfectly why they’d go to desperate measures to make it real.”

“That’s the thing! I can’t. I don’t understand how he can do this to himself over a girl.”

“Stupidly clichéd as this is going to sound, I guess it’s just love. There is no logical reasoning behind it. It just is.”

“He said the same,” Brendon murmured.

“And try not to blame this all on Anna,” Travis continued. “I can see why, from your point of view, it would all seem like her fault, but it’s really not. She never wanted any of this. You cannot possibly fathom how much living like this has cost her, or the depression she suffered. Ryan is the only good thing to come out of this for her, and the venom in her veins repels that. She would do absolutely anything to get rid of this ‘curse’ or whatever it is so that she can stop being a complication.”

“Okay,” Brendon nodded slowly. He was beginning to see where Travis and Ryan were coming from. “But Beckett asked me to find out where they’ve been going. He wants an answer within the next few days.”

“Lie. Just say that they’ve been going outer-city hunting. That’s the lie they fed me, and it worked like a charm.”

Brendon gulped and nodded. He could do this. He had to do this.

Adam tore his eyes and ears away in terror. What had he just done? Why did he always have to know? He was in William’s group. William could read his mind. And he knew everything.

***

The next night, Adam ran frantically through the halls. Where was Anna’s room? He should know this… but he didn’t. Ryan’s room was empty. He was pretty sure they hadn’t left the mansion tonight. That meant they had to be in Anna’s room. But where was it? His eyes flashed bright as he searched through the walls. His hearing followed wherever his eyes were, and his attention was eventually captured by a soft laugh. His eyes sought out the sound, and through the walls he could see the shapes he’d been looking for.

There were three shapes in the room. Two of them were obviously Anna and Ryan. Anna was sitting on Ryan’s lap laughing at something and he was smiling too, looking at her like she was a precious star. The other shape was on the other side of the room and was also smiling. It was Bella. They seemed to have forgotten the danger they were in for now.

Booming, angry footsteps from higher up in the mansion brought Adam’s focus back to reality, shattering the moment of bliss he had just witnessed. Not wasting a second, he sped towards the room that he had seen the shapes in.

“Anna!” he exclaimed as he stumbled into the room. “Ryan!”

The two looked up in alarm at the unexpected guest, and Bella immediately leapt gracefully to her feet.

“Adam…” Anna started as he stared apologetically with wide eyes.

“I’m so sorry!” he was on the verge of tears. He never meant for any of this to happen.

“What?” Ryan asked. “Why are you sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to, I swear!” he blubbered on, not answering the question. “I eavesdropped, and William read my mind…”

Ryan’s eyes turned fearful in realization of what Adam was trying to say, but he didn’t have enough time to say anything. Three seconds later, William Beckett burst through the door, and the aura around him seemed red with fury. Without even a word, Beckett launched himself at Ryan and punched him square in the jaw. He proceeded to beat both his traitors, who remained locked in each others arms with eyes squeezed shut, not even trying to fight back. Beckett kept on throwing blows at their faces and even kicked Ryan’s chest.

“William!” Bella screamed, diving in front of Ryan and pushing hard against William’s chest. “Calm the fuck down!”

Beckett tried to hurt Ryan and Anna a bit more, but when he realized it was impossible to do so without harming Bella he stopped. His eyes were still just as angry as before he hurt them as he spat on their feet and whirled around to walk away without another word. Fear dripping from her expression, Bella followed, leaving a horrible silence amongst the three left in the room.

“Are you okay?” Ryan whispered to Anna, but she didn’t reply. “Anna?”

“I’m so sorry… so so sorry…” Adam was crying. This was all his fault.

“That’s okay. We don’t blame you,” Ryan told him, still fretting over the unconscious girl in his arms. “But I need you to help me.”

“Anything,” He answered loyally.

“Pack some clothes for her. We’ll be gone for a few days at least.”

Adam immediately jumped to his feet and within a minute had searched through her wardrobe and shoved clothes into a suitcase.

“Where are you going?” he asked timidly.

“Fall Out Boy,” Ryan answered absently.

“Even after that scene?”

“Yep. At least they give a shit about her wellbeing.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Ryan looked at the boy. He was so young and innocent. He didn’t need to get involved in all this.

“No. You can’t. Thank you for the offer, but don’t feel like you owe us. If it wasn’t you, it was bound to be someone else.”

“It’s not about that. She’s my friend. I want to make sure she’s okay.”

“I promise I’ll make sure she’s fine.”

“How do you intend on doing that? You’re beat up worse than she is. That cut on your cheek is bleeding, by the way.”

Ryan hastily wiped the blood from his cheek with the sleeve on his shirt, not caring at all.

“You can’t come with us, Sisky. You’re in William’s group. He’ll find you in a heartbeat, regardless of Fall Out Boy’s security measures. I promise you I will come back and tell you when she’s regained consciousness, okay?”

“Okay,” he mumbled begrudgingly after a few moments.

He hated being in William’s group. The only reason he was in the first place was because his brother had convinced him. But he shouldn’t have listened. It brought him nothing but trouble.

“I promise she’ll be fine,” Ryan said again, but it sounded more like he was convincing himself.

Picking Anna up in his arms, he held her bridal style and Adam passed him the suitcase. Adam gave a small farewell wave, not knowing when he’d see either of them again, and Ryan smiled a little in reply, the fresh bruises beginning to ache slightly. A few seconds later, the mansion was left behind.