Give Me Envy, Give Me Malice, Give Me Your Attention

Anna awoke once again to a deep blue night, where dusty clouds skimmed graciously over the crescent-shaped silver moon. It was a beautiful and quiet night that would once again be wasted on her.

Six months, it had been, since the night that her life had been stolen from her. Six months since she had first woken up in the beautiful, richly decorated room she lay in now, a vicious longing for blood cursing her being. Six months of loneliness and depression, spending most of her time locked in her room, with the clear exception of hunting. Six months of the other dandies avoiding her for being nothing more than a painful reminder and consequence of the one night that their leader lost control. Six months of hoping that maybe today will be the day that Bella remembers that I exist and comes to see me. Six months of wishing that anyone would acknowledge her sorrowful existence, and perhaps give her some belief that she could be more than a ghost. Six months of wishing that she could turn back time and live in one where she knew the meaning of happiness and normality. Six months of nothingness. Six months. Six months of hating herself for feeling something for William Beckett. Of hating herself for wanting anything that could interfere with Bella and Bill’s relationship. It was obvious to everyone that their relationship was perfect and that they were both insanely happy together. Six whole fucking months.

She slumped back against the large comfortable pillows of the large black and red bed. She glanced down at her fingers that she gently rubbed together as she was once again faced with everything after waking from a state in which she could fly away from all her troubles and feelings and be whatever and whoever she wanted. She felt her eyes begin to get moist, but made no effort to keep the tears. This happened every night; it was no different from usual.

She glanced over at the sliver of moonlight peeking through the heavy curtains. Reluctantly, she slipped out of her bed and felt her feet connect lightly with the floor as if she weighed no more than a cloud. She slowly and almost cautiously made her way over to the window as if in a trance and it took her weak arms longer than it should have to pull the heavy curtain back. There was no need to block out the light of the nighttime. She looked outside, something that she had found herself doing more often lately. Her view overlooked a small portion of the mansion’s extensive grounds, the small but dense forest that the grounds flowed into, and a small part of the city. She bit her lip and hesitated before falling into her vampiric powers that she was still experimenting with. Her eyes glowed a bright yellow-green colour as her vision zoomed in on a particular house on the edge of the city. It was usually the only thing worth her looking at.

A few minutes after admiring the house, Andy emerged from the front door, smiling and pulling a slightly less cheerful Lara behind him by her hand. Lara had never quite been the same after the alley incident. No surprises there; she had lost both her best friends, the two most important people in her world. At first she suffered from quite severe depression, but Andy had helped her to come out of that darkness. A few weeks before this day, Andy had proposed to Lara. Anna had witnessed it. Lara was shocked at first, then thrilled, and then later that night when she was finally alone, she broke down. The only thought in her mind was the fact that her best friends wouldn’t be able to help her plan her wedding or even be present for it, wouldn’t be able to hear her exact recount of what happened when Andy proposed, wouldn’t even know about this at all. Of course, she didn’t know that they were still… well, not living but not gone, let alone that Anna was watching her as she cried.

Anna wasn’t even sure if Bella knew yet. If Bella even cared about or remembered about either her or Lara. Hell, Anna and Bella lived in the same house but she hadn’t laid eyes on her friend in half a year. Everything was so wrong. Lara, Bella, and Anna. They were the three musketeers, meant to be best friends forever. What happened?

'Bill happened.' Anna thought bitterly.

How she hated that creature! He had ruined all of their lives in a single evening. He had almost killed her. He had taken Bella from her best friends, and Bella now seemed to care about nothing or no one but him. But worst of all, he had left Anna with a mark. Seeing as he was the one who changed her, an instinctive part of her would always be connected to him. That part of herself that she wanted to (and would willingly have done, if she could) carve out and throw away, because in every human and most vampiric ways she despised the man who had ruined her life, but was forced to feel something for. Forced to love. A so-called ‘love’ that would never be reciprocated. That most of her didn’t want to be reciprocated! But it was just the way she was. And as much as she tried to fight it, it would remain this way. It was like trying to change the weather (which she had never really needed to do anyway, because somehow the weather had this mystical way of always representing her mood). It just wasn’t possible to rid her of this. The warm tears were flowing freely now, and she was quite surprised that she hadn’t yet drowned in all the tears she had cried over the last six months. She didn’t even know yet that tears came much less easily to vampires than they did to humans. It made no difference to her.

After around ten minutes, Anna decided to go hunting, more as a distraction than out of actual thirst. She found her black hoodie and threw it over her black shirt and black jeans. Colours were for people who could live up to their expectations. She just didn’t want to draw any attention towards herself. She put the hood up so that her face was invisible to passers by and zipped the hoodie up as she quietly opened her door and began down the dimly lit hallway.

One flight of stairs and a corridor later, she breathed in deeply as she inhaled the fresh night air. She allowed her eyes to flash bright as she scanned the outskirts of the city for her ‘victim’. If possible, she liked to drink from people who committed some sort of crime. Her revenge against the world, you might say. They didn’t taste as sweet as others did, but at least they quenched her thirst. This particular night, though, she felt some sort of strange tingling sensation in the air. She didn’t want just any bad blood tonight. No. Tonight she wanted to drink from someone whose blood was fresh and sweet. Someone who could fully satiate her hunger, but at this point she really couldn’t be bothered looking into everyone’s lives and seeing who would taste best. She tore her vision back to where she was, on the front steps to the dandy mansion, and ran – or more like flew – to the edge of the city.

She reached her destination in a matter of minutes; another vampiric power that she had grown accustomed to. She soon saw a lone figure approaching her in the distance. There was no one else around. No one to witness the horrible yet necessary act she was about to perform.

As the figure got closer, she noticed it was a man. A man that looked all too familiar in her powerful eyes. A man she hadn’t seen in over a year. A man who broke her heart. His head was bowed, and it seemed that he had not yet noticed her.

“Hello Jason,” she said into the night, her voice sounding slightly musical and playful even in her own ears. The man’s soft sandy blonde hair flicked up and his green eyes lost their confusion as they locked with her eyes so similar in colour. His eyes widened.

“Anna?” he asked, checking that it was actually her.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Anna, you look…” he began, searching for the right word.

She did indeed look different since she had been changed. Any imperfections on her skin had disappeared, and she seemed to have this glow about her that drew attention to her in human eyes. This wasn’t unusual. Every vampire went through it.

“… beautiful,” he finished.

“Thank you,” she answered. She didn’t believe that he had changed a bit. Maybe he was just regretting breaking up with her now because she looked and was so inhumanly beautiful. “You look… too comfortable.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion and what she hoped was fear. She almost laughed at the fact that he still didn’t quite get it; he wouldn’t be leaving here alive.

“What I mean is,” she started again, deciding to have some fun – or the closest she’d get to it, anyway. “You’re wandering the deserted streets all alone at ten thirty at night, and you just don’t look nervous enough.”

Jason released a sigh and gained confidence.

“I can take care of myself,” he said lightly, obviously trying to sound flirtatious. She threw him a false smile and took a step towards him, her exceptional hearing picking up on the dramatic increase in his pulse.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” she said seductively, taking another step forward.

He merely nodded in response, his eyes flickering from hers to her lips. She thought that it was probably cruel the way she was actually enjoying tormenting this guy, but then thought about how he had hurt her when he left, so long ago that it seemed like a lifetime. She was almost close enough to touch him now, and she once again almost laughed at how pathetic he looked in her eyes. How… human his reactions were. She took that last step towards him and brushed her fingers against his arm.

“Do you miss me at all?” she whispered into his ear. Her sensitive touch felt him tremble.

“Yes,” he breathed.

'Liar,' she thought, but those thoughts were drowned out by the sound of his blood rushing through his veins.

All of a sudden, her true vampire broke through the surface, and her throat began to get all dry and sore, wanting nothing more than to drink Jason’s life. She fought this inner demon and told it to wait, that they would have their wish soon enough. She looked once again into Jason’s eyes and was surprised that he couldn’t see the evil and malice dancing behind hers. In one small moment she connected her lips with his, still fighting the bloodlust that ran inside her. She heard his sigh as he moved his hands to the back of her head and neck pulling her closer. 'Fool.'

She kissed him for around a minute, fighting the bloodlust, but eventually it began to overtake her. She left a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck, feeling the goosebumps her breath was giving him. Her mouth finally reached the part of his neck that she had been searching for with closed eyes, but now the bloodlust had total control, his pulse fuelling her. She moved her lips to his ear and heard him moan as she whispered,

“Some people never change, do they?”

She felt a wave of his confusion, but silenced it by taking a long, deep bite into his neck. Not hesitating to watch him die, she began drinking his blood with urgency.

'Oh God, I’ve never tasted blood like this before.' It was the sweetest, most delicious blood she’d ever tasted, and it’s not like he’d been Mr Charitable. 'Is this what I’ve been missing out on?'

For the next hour she did nothing but drink and feel the wonderful sensation burn throughout her body.

'Wow. If this is how delicious he tastes, what would honestly good people taste like?'

This was when she stopped her mind from running into overdrive. What was she thinking? How could she even contemplate taking totally innocent lives out of pure curiosity and her own selfish wanting? She would only take what she needed to survive. One person a day should be more than enough. The fact that her mind had begun to explore the idea that only truly horrific, sadistic, and just evil vampires dare submit themselves to absolutely terrified the hell out of her. She was not like that. She could never be like that. She had fallen downhill lately, but never would she allow herself to sink that low.

She looked down again at the man she had killed. The man who she had once thought she loved. She had taken too much of his blood now. He was dead. He was still very handsome, even in death. Maybe just more pale. She felt tears in her eyes once again, and wept over his lifeless body that she was the cause of. Her hot tears fell on Jason’s cold jacket, giving off tiny trails of smoke invisible to the human eye. She leaned her head down to his neck again and licked away any excess blood spilt. When his neck was cleaned, she pulled out a small compact vanity mirror and checked her reflection. There was a trail of blood spilling from each of the corners of her mouth down to where they joined at the middle of her neck. Using the edge of Jason’s shirt, she wiped her chin and neck until any signs of her ‘sin’ were gone. He wouldn’t be needing the shirt anymore. She placed a soft, gentle kiss over the puncture marks in his neck and gently pulled his eyelids closed. She softly stroked his beautiful hair and smiled down at him, her eyes watering.

“I’m so sorry, Jason…” she whispered.

She really was. She had yet another reason to hate herself now; she had destroyed something that had once meant the world to her, that she never really wanted to destroy, but she’d gone ahead and done it anyway. Pleading in her mind for Jason to forgive her, she dragged his body to the side of the road. After a final sorrowful glance and one more kiss on his now cold lips, she stood up and pulled the hood back over her head, leaving behind Jason’s body to be found when the sun came up to dawn a new day for those who survived the night.

She reached the mansion minutes later and ignored the front door. As if the headquarters for one of the most renowned vampire clans in the country would just leave the front door open! Instead, she opened and slid into a hidden side door, not noticing that her hood fell back as she did so. She began to make her way up to her room on the second floor, feeling like nothing more than the carpet beneath her feet. Wherever everyone else was, it wasn’t here. She expected at least someone to be there to ignore her, but she didn’t see anyone. It was only once she reached the top of the flight of stairs that she noticed movement. She immediately tensed up, but pretended it was nothing and continued walking, absorbed in her thoughts.

“Hey!”

She heard a voice behind her. She ignored it. Surely it wasn’t directed at her? No one ever spoke to her. Speaking with Jason was probably the first time she had used her voice in a month. It was required, sometimes, for the predator to lure the prey with some well thought words. She kept walking.

“Hey, wait!” the voice sounded again. “Anna, right?”

She froze for a second, and then spun around violently at this. The man walking towards her was nice-looking. He had some sort of natural charm around him that she was sure he had had before he had been changed. He was reasonably tall, had messy blonde hair, and wore a nice, genuine smile with slightly crooked teeth. Anna was just so shocked that anyone was speaking to her. It was like some sort of unspoken rule that no one was to go near her, and this guy was crossing the line.

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered. He chuckled slightly, but stopped when he saw the look of alarm and fear in her eyes.

“Hey. I’ve never really gotten to introduce myself or anything. I’m Michael Guy Chislett, but everyone just calls me Chislett or Chiz.”

She now recognized his accent to be Australian.

“H-hi.”

She was now overcome with shyness. What the hell was she supposed to do? He just kept smiling at her in a friendly way, as if hoping his smile could loosen the tense atmosphere. This was when she cracked. She couldn’t stop herself. This was way too much for her, and Jason’s blood was probably giving her some kind of confidence boost.

“Hey, look, aren’t you breaking some sort of rule or something?” she asked him. He gave her a look of rather convincing confusion, but she could see through it.

“What do you mean?” he asked her.

“You know, talking to me and all,” she clarified. His look changed to one of mild distress.

“Th-there’s no rule against speaking to you. It’s just sort of… frowned upon,” he shot her a glance begging for forgiveness.

“That’s okay. I get it. I shouldn’t be here. I’m just Beckett’s mistake.”

“Don’t let this give you a bad opinion of yourself. It was his fault, and I’m really sorry that it’s taken me this long to realize that you shouldn’t have to face the consequences.”

She looked up at Michael, who had been a stranger to her just minutes ago, but who was now telling her everything that she’d wanted someone to tell her for months. His eyes read pure sincerity.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, almost in a whisper.

“No problem,” he told her, his face brightening a little. “So hey, why don’t you tell me next time you’re going out to hunt? We can go together. No offence, but it seems like you could really use a friend, or at least someone to talk to.”

Anna smiled. Actually smiled. She could honestly say that she hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Not since she had been changed.

“Yeah. Thank you. That sounds good.”

“Awesome!” he replied happily. “My room’s up on the third floor, the last door on the right at the end of the corridor. If I’m not there, you can leave a note or something telling me when to meet you and stuff.”

“Okay. Thank you so much again. I don’t think you actually realize how much this means to me.”

“That’s okay. Just know that I’m here.”

He smiled, and they both parted ways. Anna walked into her room, closed the door quietly, threw herself onto her bed, and ran through the exciting events of that night in her head.

***

Michael left their encounter with a happy grin on his face, feeling especially proud and happy that he had told someone who needed a friend that he could help, and that his offer was accepted with immense gratitude.

***

Ryan felt some sort of happy, warm shock run through him as he lay in his room. He immediately checked Anna’s room. His emotions seemed to be in sync with hers most of the time. His eyes flashed gold as he looked down through the floor and several walls to see her lying on her bed, a smile spread across her face. He immediately smiled too, for it had been way too long since he had seen her eyes give off the spark that they were giving off then. The spark that she didn’t even know he had ever seen. The spark that he had fallen in love with. The person that he had fallen in love with, finally showing signs of possible happiness.