Always

It was 10pm in Chicago, and Alex had just finished marking for the night and had collapsed onto the bed, getting used to the strange sensation of lying there alone, when his phone vibrated violently on the bedside table, lighting up the entire room, and his ringtone pounding out from the shitty little speakers.

"Hello?" Alex answered groggily.

"Alex William Gaskarth. You better do what we fucking tell you, or Jack's dad stops receiving treatment, Jack himself goes fucking mental and gets locked down in a ward, Tom, Vic, Mike, Daniel and Tay all go poof, and your mum? Well, how about we save her til last hey?" A deep voice came through the phone line, a northern accent. Who the fuck was this? Was this some sort of sick joke?

"Who is this? What d-do you want?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about that hun. We need you, to give us, your song lyrics. Anything and everything you've written. And you can't get upset, or sue, if the thought even crosses your mind, everyone you have ever loved will get handed to you on a plate, literally. Body parts chopped so finely you won't even know mum from stepdad. Are we clear?" Alex was shaking, crying even. Was this for real? It seemed a little far to take a joke, if that's what this was.

"H-how do I g-give you the l-lyrics? A-and h-how d-do y-you even k-know about them?" Alex's stutter came back, full blown, and he hated how desperate and pathetic he must've sounded to this cruel being. He really needed to work on keeping his guard up.

"Oh darling, I know everything about you. And you will email them. Go to your laptop, an email composition is open, give us your favourite song to start with." It was strange, and oddly ironic, that the names he'd been called by his loved ones, darling and hun, were now rolling out of the mouth of a man threatening to ruin his entire existence.

"I-I'll do it now."

"Yes. And don't even think about tracing this number, because it will erase from your call log the moment we hang up, and the email address is so protected, even you can't see who you're sending it to. Do it now, or, well, you know what will happen. Breathe a word of this to anyone, and you are truly, royally screwed, babe." Alex could practically hear the devious smirk through the phone line, and he dropped the phone after he was hung up on, and, with tears streaming down his pale face, he typed up the lyrics to For Baltimore.

Alex spent the day crying and throwing up in nervousness, he was an emotional wreck.

Earlier that day, Jack had gone to visit his dad in hospital in Baltimore. Bassam really didn't look well, whiter than usual, his hair was thin, fuck it- he was thin. Jack wanted to be sick, it was horrendous.

"Dad? How are you doing?" Dumb question, he knew, but what else are you meant to say? Jack didn't think 'cremated or buried?' was exactly the best way to start a conversation. Bassam didn't reply, just looked at Jack, with eyes that said 'I'm fucked.' But then he said-

"So how are you?"

"I'm okay, living with my boyfriend, working at the university, everything was coming together, until this happened." Jack answered, honestly.

"Marry him, Jack. I regret nothing more than not marrying your mother." This was the most words Bassam had ever said to Jack, that he could remember at least. Jack's mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when Jack was 8, and she died when he was 9. Jack's mother wanted to marry, have a big family, have those Sunday night dinners with her intelligent children discussing world issues, the perfect family- no arguments, it would be bliss. Bassam, however, was afraid of commitment, but still did his best to be a good father to Jack, but he couldn't marry. He just couldn't. No matter how much he knew his partner wanted it, he would not do it. It was too definite. Jack's mother used to cry about it. That was the only issue though, but when she passed away, Bassam was lost. He had no idea how to father a child alone, and he didn't want to start another relationship, he vowed he would never replace her, and that's how Jack and his dad got to the point where they wouldn't talk much, only about deciding on the necessary groceries.

"Marry him?"

"Yes. Marry him." Jack hadn't really considered proposing, at least not yet, he still felt quite young, but equally, he couldn't see himself growing old with anyone but Alex, so maybe it would make sense.

"One day."

"Soon. Or you'll miss the chance." Bassam started coughing violently. He wasn't taking chemo therapy, he didn't want it and he couldn't afford it, just enough medicine to dull the pain, and he'd be gone soon, they both knew he wasn't going to hold on much longer, and he wasn't fighting, he didn't want to, knowing his true love was waiting for him on the other side. He wanted to speak to Jack, let him know he loved him, and to make sure he never made the same mistake he did, but other than that, he found himself yearning for death. He was so sick of sleeping alone.

Visiting hours came to a close, and Jack hugged his father tightly, a tear forming in his eye.

"Don't cry Jack, it happens to us all."

"Just. Just a few more days okay. Do that for me. A few days. Please." Jack croaked through the tears. Bassam watched as Jack was lead to the door by a nurse, not giving an answer to Jack's plead.

That night, at around 8pm, Jack rang Alex.

"Lexy, Lexy it's so hard. I hardly spoke to him for most of my life, I don't even have the right to be this upset. But I always knew he was there, he was a constant, an anchor, and now he's gonna fucking leave. Everyone always fucking leaves!" Jack cried over the phone to his boyfriend.

"Jacky, sometimes you've g-got to let the anchor go, otherwise you m-might drown. The times you've needed it, it's h-helped you, and now it's a s-sign, that you can c-cope on your own, you d-don't need an anchor, you need a-a float to carry on your j-journey. Okay, love?" Jack nodded, forgetting Alex couldn't see the gesture. "Get s-some rest. I-I love you Jagk."

Jack cried himself to sleep, missing his mum, worrying for his dad, and needing Alex more than ever.

Then the phonecall happened, and then Alex stayed awake all night. As if he could sleep with the day's events on his mind. He was awfully scared.