Always

Alex's real motivation to get a move on, and get the fuck out of Chicago, away from the murderous grasp of the man on the phone, came from the man himself- a call which consisted of the words 'We're coming.' Delightful.

Alex packed a rucksack with essentials; cash (he had emptied his account), soap, spare clothes, first aid stuff that he found (probably what Jack had left over from when he'd been a boy scout), a water bottle, two tins of beans, some bread, a pen knife, a lighter, and, most crucial to his survival, a Polaroid photo of him and Jack, at the Christmas Ball of year 10.

It sounds like he was going deep into the wilderness, he wasn't- but he had no idea how long it would take to get to where he wanted to be.

Alex wrote out a note, about 6 times, before it was good enough to be left on the dining room table. It read-

'Jack. Something happened, something pretty major, and I want you to know, that how I'm handling this, I'm doing it to protect you. To protect the ones I love. The pain that comes, well, I'm so sorry, but this way is the best. The lesser of two evils.

I never meant to hurt nobody

I never meant to hurt you, no

I only meant to do this to myself,

Great escape

Let me out of this, yeah

^some lyrics I thought up, regarding the situation..

Anyway. Don't cry, darling.

No matter what you think, what you choose to believe, I'm with you. Always. And I promise, someday we'll think to ourselves, my God this is paradise. Just hold on, wait for that moment.

Don't search for me. It's dangerous. Promise me. Do it for me. Do it For Baltimore.

The amount I have loved you and do love you and will continue to love you in unreal, and I never thought Id feel this way, and we've had our ups and downs, but man, fuck, our 'downs' are still the highest I've ever been.

Never give up on anything, because one day, we'll be together again. That's not some bullshit excuse. It's reality. I need you to hold on for it.

I love you, forever, eternally, indisputably, definitely, categorically, don't let us fade away, Jack.

If the kids don't believe, make them believe.

In your adoration,

AWG<3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx'

Two weeks later, it was the day of Bassams funeral, and all the guests had arrived, excluding one, particularly important one- Alex. Jack wondered where he could be, he was only supposed to be getting in on the morning, but Alex had told him previously that his phone was running out of credit, and he wouldnt have time to buy more before flying to Baltimore, but still, Alex should have been there by now.

The ceremony, if that's what you could call it, had to begin nevertheless, after all, the church had more funerals to run.

"I hardly knew Bassam Barakat, and he was my own father. I regret that. So, so much, but I feel that the last words, as we all know- they're the only ones that count, that he spoke to me, will stay with me for a long, long time. Do you know what he told me? He told me to marry Alex. And that's what I was going to do, here, today, now. Slightly ironic, I guess, proposing at a funeral, but hey, it's not like that worked out because Alex isn't even here.. But hey, it's the thought that counts. I don't know if you've figured it out, but I'm desperately trying to turn these negatives into a positive, but it's fucking hard, when you've lost both your parents to cancer before you're thirty. I'm working with it, but this isn't about me. Bassam didn't always make the right choices, but he knew that in the end. He didn't die thinking he did everything right, he died thinking he should have done better. But hey, there's no fun in being satisfied right? Wow tough crowd. Tough topic. I'm rambling, because I don't know how to label my feelings. I don't know what's joy, sorrow, regret, anger, any of it. They all mush together, but I know what love is. Love in family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends. That's what gets you places, mentally of course. It's a shame my dad realised this too late, and in turn, so did I. Rest in peace, Dad. I love you."

Jack unlocked the door to his and Alex's apartment, half expecting Alex to be on the sofa with the flu, or maybe he got the dates wrong, who knows, but he didn't think it'd be anything particularly major, so when he walked into the apartment, calling out 'Lex?' and got no reply, he got a little worried.

He headed towards the bedroom first- empty. Bathroom, door was open, and empty. He entered the main living area once again, running a hand through his hair, utterly confused. That's when he saw it, lying on the table.

Jack's eyes began to scan the letter, but then he realized he wasn't taking it in, and had to start again, slower this time.

And fuck, did he cry.

He cried so much his heart hurt, so much it was hard to breathe, so much that his eyes went sore. At some point he must've collapsed into deep slumber- you'd think it would offer him some relief from the issue at hand, but no, all his dreams consisted of Alex. Jack didn't know whether to believe that this was some sort of dangerous situation that Alex had to physically escape, or whether it was infact, a bullshit excuse. It it was the first, what type of trouble was it? Was Alex going to die? Was Alex going to die, before Jack got to propose? The one thing he'd promised his father he'd do.

Shit.