A Tale From My So-called Life
three
Ema,
Please reconsider what you told me that you told me so long ago. I can’t stand being away from you any longer. Ema, I need you. It kills me inside to know that you’re with another guy that is putting his arm around you and not me.
I love you, my darling….
<3Kevin
I stared down at the note in disbelief. For the past two weeks since I had told him of Kyle, he had completely backed off and would not even acknowledge my presence unless I was staring at him directly. The empty gash in my chest ripped open as a painful memory seeped into my mind.
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I walked down the hall, trying hard not to cry before I reached the safety of the bus and Kyle’s arms. I knew he would help comfort me so I would be calm enough to face my parents with a fake smile.
Rain beat down on the windows and the people that ran to their rundown buses. I yanked my jacket from around my waist and pulled it over my arms and head so I wouldn’t get too wet. As I was fixing my sleeve, I bumped into someone blocking my path. This same person was the person that had ripped my heart from my already bleeding chest because he believed to think he was making me depressed 1 hour prior to right then.
I pushed passed Kevin and tried to walk away without letting tears burst from my eyes. I got out the door and then suddenly, Kevin grabbed my arm and tried to take hold of my hand and pull me into his arms. I whirled around as tears started to stream down my face.
“What do you want know? Haven’t you done enough damage to me already? Well, you’re out of luck because you can’t destroy me anymore than I already am. Or is this a new game you’ve made up to see how much I can take before I try to kill myself from the pain?” I screamed in his face.
Heads turned our direction and some even stopped to listen. A look of desperation and hurt had settled into his eyes as he registered what I was saying.
“I was just trying to see if you were alright. I still love you, you should know that.”
He looked me in the eyes and I could tell he was seconds from tears himself. I glared back for a moment, remembering how I had let him in too far in and that he had betrayed my trust.
“I’m fine, ok? Stop worrying about poor, pitiful me,” I replied with a touch of sarcasm. I couldn’t let him know that I was crying, though I doubted the rain could camouflage it.
I turned to leave again and this time he tried to catch up to me instead of pulling me back; maybe he was weakening.
“ I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought it would be better for us if I did this,” he said, slightly out of breathe because I saw trying my best to lose him.
I wheeled around to face him before I stormed onto the bus. “Look I get it, ok? You don’t trust me enough because of tat rumor about Kyle. But, you don’t have to pretend and lie about why you broke up with me. And if you seriously think I’m going to believe that shit about ‘it was the best for us’ then you better open your eyes wider before you get hit by an on-coming train.”
I jumped onto the bus before he could say anything else in contrast to that. As I sank into my seat and clumsily grabbed my CD player from my book bag, I wiped my tear streaked face so that I could see straight. As I gazed out the window, I could see Kevin’s blurry figure strutting to the bus as he shook his head in shame, I hoped.
I grabbed a note I had found in my pocket that had been secretly placed in my jacket pocket. I read it over and over, crying harder each time I did at those words written just this morning.
I love you. –Kevin
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I folded the note back up and stuffed it into my purse. I at lest had till lunch before I saw him again and even then, he couldn’t really talk to me.
Please reconsider what you told me that you told me so long ago. I can’t stand being away from you any longer. Ema, I need you. It kills me inside to know that you’re with another guy that is putting his arm around you and not me.
I love you, my darling….
<3Kevin
I stared down at the note in disbelief. For the past two weeks since I had told him of Kyle, he had completely backed off and would not even acknowledge my presence unless I was staring at him directly. The empty gash in my chest ripped open as a painful memory seeped into my mind.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <>
I walked down the hall, trying hard not to cry before I reached the safety of the bus and Kyle’s arms. I knew he would help comfort me so I would be calm enough to face my parents with a fake smile.
Rain beat down on the windows and the people that ran to their rundown buses. I yanked my jacket from around my waist and pulled it over my arms and head so I wouldn’t get too wet. As I was fixing my sleeve, I bumped into someone blocking my path. This same person was the person that had ripped my heart from my already bleeding chest because he believed to think he was making me depressed 1 hour prior to right then.
I pushed passed Kevin and tried to walk away without letting tears burst from my eyes. I got out the door and then suddenly, Kevin grabbed my arm and tried to take hold of my hand and pull me into his arms. I whirled around as tears started to stream down my face.
“What do you want know? Haven’t you done enough damage to me already? Well, you’re out of luck because you can’t destroy me anymore than I already am. Or is this a new game you’ve made up to see how much I can take before I try to kill myself from the pain?” I screamed in his face.
Heads turned our direction and some even stopped to listen. A look of desperation and hurt had settled into his eyes as he registered what I was saying.
“I was just trying to see if you were alright. I still love you, you should know that.”
He looked me in the eyes and I could tell he was seconds from tears himself. I glared back for a moment, remembering how I had let him in too far in and that he had betrayed my trust.
“I’m fine, ok? Stop worrying about poor, pitiful me,” I replied with a touch of sarcasm. I couldn’t let him know that I was crying, though I doubted the rain could camouflage it.
I turned to leave again and this time he tried to catch up to me instead of pulling me back; maybe he was weakening.
“ I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought it would be better for us if I did this,” he said, slightly out of breathe because I saw trying my best to lose him.
I wheeled around to face him before I stormed onto the bus. “Look I get it, ok? You don’t trust me enough because of tat rumor about Kyle. But, you don’t have to pretend and lie about why you broke up with me. And if you seriously think I’m going to believe that shit about ‘it was the best for us’ then you better open your eyes wider before you get hit by an on-coming train.”
I jumped onto the bus before he could say anything else in contrast to that. As I sank into my seat and clumsily grabbed my CD player from my book bag, I wiped my tear streaked face so that I could see straight. As I gazed out the window, I could see Kevin’s blurry figure strutting to the bus as he shook his head in shame, I hoped.
I grabbed a note I had found in my pocket that had been secretly placed in my jacket pocket. I read it over and over, crying harder each time I did at those words written just this morning.
I love you. –Kevin
<> <> <> <> <> <> <>
I folded the note back up and stuffed it into my purse. I at lest had till lunch before I saw him again and even then, he couldn’t really talk to me.