Status: Complete
Why Can't We Make This Darkness Feel Like Home?
Fünf
“I'm so sorry Jessica, I had no idea. If I had known you then I would have protected you from him. You didn't and still will never deserve to be treated like that. I promise you that I will never hurt you and I will not let anyone either. I love you! Okay?" Bill explained as he reached out and tried to hug me again.
"Don't touch me!" I cried as I jumped off of the couch.
"Jessica, what's wrong?"
"Stop, stop, leave me alone!" I saw my ex-boyfriend in front of me, I could not get his image out of me head. I turned around and ran out of the house, I had to leave. I left the house and I started to run through the neighborhood. I blame myself for my ex, I destroy everything around me. I got all the way to the local public park; I walked up to a bench and sat down. I began to watch little kids play; I wish I was their age again. I want to be a five year old playing with my classmates again. However, I am not a little kid anymore and I have to face the facts. I am not over my ex-boyfriend, I am over him but I am not over what he did to me. I am scared, scared someone will hurt me. I no longer know what to do while I am alone with someone or with strangers. Will they hurt me? I cannot trust anyone anymore. I hate that I still remember his voice and face; he is a reminder to my pain each and every day.
"Jessica I wish I could help you and make the pain go away. Whatever he did to you, you didn't deserve. I will never ever hurt you and I promise you that, I love you way too much. I know I was being pushy about talking about it, I didn't realize how it would affect you. I'm so sorry Jessica," Bill called out from behind. I just looked straight ahead; I did not have the courage to look at him. I felt embarrassed.
"Please just talk to me. I promise I will never talk about it again."
"Bill, I'm sorry you have to deal with me. I have a lot of problems; I'm still scared at night when I'm alone. I'm scared to be around strangers that I don't even know. I feel helpless when I know nothing is going to happen to me. I keep telling myself that he's gone and can never touch me, but it never seems to work," I cried out. I looked around at everything surrounding me. I was sad and frightened, I was affected so much that I just broke down. I hated him and his face. I hated that I could not trust anyone, even people I loved.
"It's okay; I will always be here for you when you need me. Jessica you can trust me," Bill explained standing in front of me, he was looking down at me with permissive eyes.
"Thank you for staying with me. I love you Bill," I cried getting up from the bench to hold onto him. If I had to trust one person it would be Bill, he knew how to comfort me and knew how to make me feel better. Bill held onto me as I cried into his chest. I never actually had the time to break down before; I always avoided my emotions and never talked about them.
"I love you too!"
"Never leave me?" I asked resting my head on his chest as I looked over at the playground where little kids were playing, they were so happy. I wanted to be like them.
"Never..."
"Don't touch me!" I cried as I jumped off of the couch.
"Jessica, what's wrong?"
"Stop, stop, leave me alone!" I saw my ex-boyfriend in front of me, I could not get his image out of me head. I turned around and ran out of the house, I had to leave. I left the house and I started to run through the neighborhood. I blame myself for my ex, I destroy everything around me. I got all the way to the local public park; I walked up to a bench and sat down. I began to watch little kids play; I wish I was their age again. I want to be a five year old playing with my classmates again. However, I am not a little kid anymore and I have to face the facts. I am not over my ex-boyfriend, I am over him but I am not over what he did to me. I am scared, scared someone will hurt me. I no longer know what to do while I am alone with someone or with strangers. Will they hurt me? I cannot trust anyone anymore. I hate that I still remember his voice and face; he is a reminder to my pain each and every day.
"Jessica I wish I could help you and make the pain go away. Whatever he did to you, you didn't deserve. I will never ever hurt you and I promise you that, I love you way too much. I know I was being pushy about talking about it, I didn't realize how it would affect you. I'm so sorry Jessica," Bill called out from behind. I just looked straight ahead; I did not have the courage to look at him. I felt embarrassed.
"Please just talk to me. I promise I will never talk about it again."
"Bill, I'm sorry you have to deal with me. I have a lot of problems; I'm still scared at night when I'm alone. I'm scared to be around strangers that I don't even know. I feel helpless when I know nothing is going to happen to me. I keep telling myself that he's gone and can never touch me, but it never seems to work," I cried out. I looked around at everything surrounding me. I was sad and frightened, I was affected so much that I just broke down. I hated him and his face. I hated that I could not trust anyone, even people I loved.
"It's okay; I will always be here for you when you need me. Jessica you can trust me," Bill explained standing in front of me, he was looking down at me with permissive eyes.
"Thank you for staying with me. I love you Bill," I cried getting up from the bench to hold onto him. If I had to trust one person it would be Bill, he knew how to comfort me and knew how to make me feel better. Bill held onto me as I cried into his chest. I never actually had the time to break down before; I always avoided my emotions and never talked about them.
"I love you too!"
"Never leave me?" I asked resting my head on his chest as I looked over at the playground where little kids were playing, they were so happy. I wanted to be like them.
"Never..."
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for reading this short story, I hope you enjoyed it.-madtwatter
If you need something else to read since you've finished this story you can check out my other stories:
1. Full Moon Blood Lust (Twilight fan fiction)
Joanna is your typical sixteen year old within her freshman year at Forks, Washington high school. She grew up around her father's coworker and best friend Billy Black while she became close to his son Jacob and niece Dena. This story begins on Joanna's first day at Forks High School and follows her journey throughout school. Soon after she meets the Cullen family and ends up befriending one of the Cullen boys.
2. Here I am, Once Again I'm Torn into Pieces (Robert Pattinson fan fiction)
A 20 year old women lives with her boyfriend in downtown Los Angeles, California. She graduated a 2 year community college and is now looking for a job, with little success. Read to find out what happens next.
3. I Finally Found the Guy of My Dreams
Kathryn Brown attends Princeton University in New Jersey as a business major. She is the one that keeps her friends well-rounded and always together. However, her emotions and the lies she tells sometimes gets her into trouble. This time she decides to confront her best guy friend Andy about her feelings towards him.
4. I Love You (Ich Liebe Dich) [Tom Kaulitz fan fiction]
Sammie Neumann and Tom Kaulitz grew up together in Hamburg, Germany before Tokio Hotel became a band. Sammie was the next-door neighbor of the Kaulitz household in Germany, she became close to Tom because of her infatuation with him. Once Tokio Hotel became internationally known they began touring to other countries outside of Europe. Sammie began to fear that Tom's ever changing schedule, popularity and celebrity status would ruin all chances with him. She's unsure if Tom has the same feelings for her as she does for him. Read to find out what happens to Sammie and Tom.
5. I Will Get Lost Into Your Eyes (e4 Misfits and Skins influenced fan fiction)
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6. I'm Just a Good Girl Gone Bad and You're a Hot Mess and I'm Fallin' For You (Twilight multiPOV fan fiction)
Brianna, who is 16, lives in a small apartment in the local downtown area of Bronx, New York. She lives with her 20 year old brother Tony, mother Sarah, and father Makya. Her mother has been a prostitute for many years, earning money as she goes. While Makya deals drugs and is in an active gang. Read to find out what happens next.
7. Nobody Said it Was Easy (Torchwood fan fiction)
A young man named Jack Harkness enlists into the military in New York City on September 11th, 2001. Later on he gets promoted into a Time Agent, where he turns immortal from a freak accent. He spends 1,000s' of years looking for a crew, deciding whether he should go back into the past to stop 9/11 from happening. Read to find out what happens next.
8. The Doctor and the Misfit (Doctor Who and e4 Misfits fan fiction)
Jessica is a 22 year old woman who lives in London working as a waitress in a diner, barely making ends meet. One day when she was heading into work Jessica got caught in an awful lightening storm. She was unlucky and was struck by lightning, though luckily she walked away from the scene. Read to find out what happens next.
9. With You is Where I Want to Be (Teen Wolf multiPOV fan fiction)
A young girl in high school moves around a lot, her father's job requires her family to move state to state to different facilities. This story starts off in her second semester of sophomore year in Beacon Hills, California, right after Christmas break. As you read this story you will follow her new journey in making new friends, the drama that comes with moving, and maybe even more. Read to find out what happens next.