Imprinted Years

Two sisters lie on their backs in the centre of this cluttered room, only now; it is completely free of any kind of object. They lie there laughing, gazing up at the wooden beams diverting across the ceiling above them and one of the girls sits up. She turns to the other, takes her hand and leans in close, about to tell her something. Most probably some kind of secret. The other girl seems intrigued by ignorance, as she doesn’t expect any threat or danger.

She is a fool, but she is youthful, so she’s allowed to be.

“Can I tell you something, Abre?” The quieter girl whispers, putting a hand gently on Abre’s shoulder and holding back tears threatening to break through her strong act.

“Sure beautiful! Go ahead.” Abre is currently unaware of her friend’s deep despair, but she senses some kind of ghost lurking amongst them.

The secret lived a while ago and now, it’s beginning to resurface. Haunting the quiet girl in her sleep and her wake. She no longer cries, because she is beyond that point of fear.

Now, she is absolutely terrified of this ghostly secret that stalks her everywhere she turns.

She can never escape it, but maybe, telling Abre, sweet, young and innocent Abre, will help.

“Have you ever felt insanely cold on the hottest day of the year?” The question appears to confuse young Abre, which is not surprising, so the quiet girl continues. “Not physically cold exactly, but mentally so. Like there is always something with you? Or someone?”

Abre never believed in ghosts, not until this.

She now looks down at her pale, thin hands, not quite knowing how to go about answering her friend. She now sees how she’s distressed, but she fears that telling her the truth will only worry her furthermore.

Abre does know pain and the bitter side of unwanted cold. She does know what it’s like to always be followed by something or someone who shouldn’t be there. She has never felt a warm year in her life, as every time one would arise, so would the unwanted soul.

It started as a demon and turned into a monster.

Her guilt, mistakes, sorrows only made it grow and strong did it grow over the years. She did something sinister, cruel even, when she was younger.

Too young, as even though Abre is now thirteen years old, she remembers her past like it only moments ago happened.

She remembers it because she has to, never because she wishes to, but now, it has turned her mind bitter.

At a mere, innocent and youthful age of thirteen, she is already broken by her own regret.

“Yes.” She looks out of the window to their left and begins to do her hair up in plaits. One at either side. This helps her escape the current situation, as talking about “him” only makes her more worried.

She calls him Saiien.

Saiien began as a friend, almost, maybe even some kind of teacher. He taught Abre to think deeper into things and gain more thought whereas serious topics were concerned.

She learnt to tell the difference between right and wrong exceptionally well, which was surprising to Abre, as her father was by far more wrong than right.

But who’s to say what right is?

Right is to never kill, but Abre, now has sinned. She has killed and the main reason she did this was because she liked it, but more worryingly, she craved it.

Saiien became colder with age and wisdom too. Both of them learnt that Earth was cruel.

Each step they took to grow up further, the curse that turned out to be the life knocked them down evermore.

But never did they give up.

Or give in for that matter.

Saiien seemed to make Abre feel and become strong. When people threw rocks at her, she threw twice as many back and never did she cry after the night he first visited.

He told her that she was nothing, but let her know that with time and knowledge, she could be everything. So this lead Abre to believe that there were simply only two choices to decide between.

A life of nothingness.

A life of everything.

Obviously, she chose the life of everything. She grew strong and she grew insanely wise, but never did she get everything she needed.

Only did she get everything Saiien told her she wanted.

Saiien was a distraction from emptiness, but he always tormented her with her faults, her sins, whenever she was down on herself.

So every time she fell down, she was forced to get back up automatically.

It took a few years to stop the endless tears from escaping her weakened eyes, but finally, she let herself become hardened by life.

She lost her heart.

She lost her ability to love others for their heart, rather than their so-called name and their status.

She became obsessed with power and riches, just like her father. She became secluded from society and Earth’s finest nature, but then, after almost a decade of near loneliness, she found herself about to tell her dearest friend everything she’d hidden.

She was afraid, but more so, she was ashamed. She hated how she’d become a callous, uncaring being, but still, she was a sweet, innocent child underneath all of that and Jessica saw that from day one.

She believed in Abre.

She gave her hope.

She gave her love that Abre had long ago desired, but Abre had given up on such luxuries, yet Jessica never gave up.

Only did she ever try…

“When I was four years old, Jessica, Saiien became my friend and he saved me from a life of loneliness.” Abre had never before been so honest to anyone other than herself and even with herself she had limits to how much she’d remember or even think about. “But now, he only teases me. He breaks me from within, which is why I can’t fight it, Jessica. I’m scared, but you need to tell me something, right?”

Abre smiles to Jessica for the first time in a while that day and takes Jessica’s hand in her own.

“Please, I need a distraction anyway.” She smiles again, only this time, it seems unnatural, but luckily, Jessica doesn’t notice.

“Okay, so it started when I was seven years old.” Jessica smoothes down her hair, just as Abre finishes plaiting her own. It looks nice.

Innocent.

Ironic.

“And…” Abre is inpatient, but she is also extremely curious, as well as genuinely considerate towards Jessica, as she understands her now more than ever.

Abre isn’t a caring person, but when she has such a strong bond with such a dear friend, she has to be.

“It lasted till I was about nine, but then it left me for a while, which I was more than happy about.” She takes in a deep breathe and squeezes Abre’s hand. “But now, I think she’s back, you see. She followed me everywhere I went back then. Telling me lies that only hurt, but I escaped her. I escaped her demon like ways, yet now, she’s back and I’m worried Abre…”

Her voice breaks again; obviously she’s deeply worried about whatever it is that is following her.

Haunting her wherever she goes. So Abre hugs her close to her small body, knowing that Jessica must feel desperately lost and confused.

Abre has been here many times before.

She knows it far too well for such a young child, because that’s what she was back then. Just a young, beautiful and pure child. Saiien had ruined her life, yet she was brainwashed into thinking that somehow, he was meant to be her hero.

Saiien, who she’d made up in her mind, was the reason for all of her sorrow, but also, he was the reason for her sudden caring nature.

He had taught her about pain; therefore, she could now understand her sister. Any other being would call or name Jessica for supposedly making up such nonsense, but Abre knew that it wasn’t nonsense.

She knew that it was real, as she’d experienced it first hand.

“Thank you.” The quiet Jessica murmurs weakly, as her mind is still broken apart by her own demons. Abre isn’t as strong as her though, even though Jessica has been broken down, she is still strong deep within. Abre is insecure, lost and forever in pain. She cries out to be loved, but no one will love her like she needs.

She needs a mother.

“No need to thank me.” Abre is also very well spoken and mature for such a young age, which is also suspicious, as she knows deep down she is not okay.

She hasn’t been for a long while now…

…

“I’ll ask you again, seeing as you’ve randomly decided to block me out. Why are you here?”

I let myself fall to the ground, but before my world blacks out before me, I see her. The quiet girl with the black rose held tightly in her hands against her chest. She smiles, looking radiantly beautiful in a cotton white dress with a stunning silk bow around her waist.

I smile towards her, but she doesn’t move or even make any kind of gesture towards me.

She stands there absentmindedly, watching, as my once strong body falls to the cool ground in this darkened, damp room.

She let me fall.

But never would she let me die.

She promised me that…