Sequel: Over Again ›
More Than This
13
“Why?” Harry asked after a beat of silence.
His voice sounded broken, and I closed my eyes. If I was going to get through this story, I was keeping them shut.
“My whole life, I only had two friends: My dad and Sophia. That was it. My mom and I were never close, and I never wanted to be close with her. My dad and I hung out all the time. I was way more of a tomboy, I guess I still am. Sophia was close to my mother growing up, but she was also equally as close to me. Picking me up when I feel down, stuff like that.”
I paused to take a deep breath before continuing.
“A year ago, our father died.” I felt Harry’s hand grip mine, and I dug my fingers into his palm to keep myself from crying. “Shortly after his funeral, Sophia left for London. I don’t blame her, she had an exciting opportunity to work here. She wanted me to go with her. I refused, which was a horrible decision. Without my two best friends in my life daily, my mom and I fought even more. I had nobody to talk to about anything. I felt isolated and had anxiety attacks just leaving the house. So, I started hurting myself. I felt like I was worthless and had nobody, so nobody would miss me if I left.”
This time, Harry’s fingers dug into my palm, and I almost wanted to stop and look at his face, but I continued with my eyes closed.
“I got admitted to the hospital when I went too far one night. Sophia called me and she was worried about me. It was then that I realized I had someone who cared about me. So I checked myself into rehab and I stayed there for quite a while. They taught me there to channel my anxious thoughts into something, so I channeled them into running. They had a track there, though, so it’s quite different when I run out into the London night.”
I was reminded of the kiss Harry and I shared that night, and it made me keep going.
“So, when I got home, that night I came here to London, my mom had changed the locks and moved.” I closed my eyes even tighter. “She left a note that said I disgraced her reputation or some shit. So, I ran. I ran all the way to the only comfort I had at the time, my sister. Then, I met 5 boys who I developed real friendships with and now love unconditionally. I can’t imagine life without you 5 in it now.”
I chanced opening my eyes and looking at Harry at this point. He was looking at me, and he had tears in his eyes. It broke my heart, so I quickly wiped them away with my thumbs and continued talking.
“And then I met you, and my feelings became so real it hurt to be away from you, and it hurt when you ignored me for almost a week, which we are going to talk about, by the way, mister. So I went out to blow off steam with my new friends. Then, it turned out one of my new friends, Taylor, wasn’t really my friend at all. She was a reporter for a magazine, and used her friends to forcefully kiss me so she could make a story about me cheating on you since everyone thinks we’re dating. And now I’m here. At 3 in the morning in a car with you. And I didn’t want to tell any of you this because I don’t want any of you thinking I’m a freak and leaving me. I just wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
I finished my story and bit my lip.
Harry looked at me, and I knew he was collecting his thoughts. When he did, he started to speak.
“First of all, Bailey, thank you for finally opening up to me about all that. I just want to tell you that you are beautiful. You are an amazingly kind, wonderful person, and if your mother can’t see that, then it’s her loss. I can’t believe she would do that to you, and now I understand why you came here.”
He held my gaze when I tried to look away.
“But you have to understand something, Bailey.” He continued. “The 5 of us are in it for the long haul, okay? Niall and Louis love you more than anyone already. You’re their best friend, their partner in crime, and nothing that happened in your past could scare them away. Zayn and Liam love you like protective older brothers, And me, well I have the strongest feelings for you I’ve had in a long time. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Your past is your past, not your future.”
By the time Harry had finished his speech, I was sobbing. I really never had people that truly cared for me like that in a long time, and it felt good.
Harry reached over and wiped my tears away, and I latched onto him in a hug.
“Thank you for everything, H” I mumbled into his side.
“You’re welcome, B.” He replied. “Now let’s get home, yeah?”
His voice sounded broken, and I closed my eyes. If I was going to get through this story, I was keeping them shut.
“My whole life, I only had two friends: My dad and Sophia. That was it. My mom and I were never close, and I never wanted to be close with her. My dad and I hung out all the time. I was way more of a tomboy, I guess I still am. Sophia was close to my mother growing up, but she was also equally as close to me. Picking me up when I feel down, stuff like that.”
I paused to take a deep breath before continuing.
“A year ago, our father died.” I felt Harry’s hand grip mine, and I dug my fingers into his palm to keep myself from crying. “Shortly after his funeral, Sophia left for London. I don’t blame her, she had an exciting opportunity to work here. She wanted me to go with her. I refused, which was a horrible decision. Without my two best friends in my life daily, my mom and I fought even more. I had nobody to talk to about anything. I felt isolated and had anxiety attacks just leaving the house. So, I started hurting myself. I felt like I was worthless and had nobody, so nobody would miss me if I left.”
This time, Harry’s fingers dug into my palm, and I almost wanted to stop and look at his face, but I continued with my eyes closed.
“I got admitted to the hospital when I went too far one night. Sophia called me and she was worried about me. It was then that I realized I had someone who cared about me. So I checked myself into rehab and I stayed there for quite a while. They taught me there to channel my anxious thoughts into something, so I channeled them into running. They had a track there, though, so it’s quite different when I run out into the London night.”
I was reminded of the kiss Harry and I shared that night, and it made me keep going.
“So, when I got home, that night I came here to London, my mom had changed the locks and moved.” I closed my eyes even tighter. “She left a note that said I disgraced her reputation or some shit. So, I ran. I ran all the way to the only comfort I had at the time, my sister. Then, I met 5 boys who I developed real friendships with and now love unconditionally. I can’t imagine life without you 5 in it now.”
I chanced opening my eyes and looking at Harry at this point. He was looking at me, and he had tears in his eyes. It broke my heart, so I quickly wiped them away with my thumbs and continued talking.
“And then I met you, and my feelings became so real it hurt to be away from you, and it hurt when you ignored me for almost a week, which we are going to talk about, by the way, mister. So I went out to blow off steam with my new friends. Then, it turned out one of my new friends, Taylor, wasn’t really my friend at all. She was a reporter for a magazine, and used her friends to forcefully kiss me so she could make a story about me cheating on you since everyone thinks we’re dating. And now I’m here. At 3 in the morning in a car with you. And I didn’t want to tell any of you this because I don’t want any of you thinking I’m a freak and leaving me. I just wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
I finished my story and bit my lip.
Harry looked at me, and I knew he was collecting his thoughts. When he did, he started to speak.
“First of all, Bailey, thank you for finally opening up to me about all that. I just want to tell you that you are beautiful. You are an amazingly kind, wonderful person, and if your mother can’t see that, then it’s her loss. I can’t believe she would do that to you, and now I understand why you came here.”
He held my gaze when I tried to look away.
“But you have to understand something, Bailey.” He continued. “The 5 of us are in it for the long haul, okay? Niall and Louis love you more than anyone already. You’re their best friend, their partner in crime, and nothing that happened in your past could scare them away. Zayn and Liam love you like protective older brothers, And me, well I have the strongest feelings for you I’ve had in a long time. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Your past is your past, not your future.”
By the time Harry had finished his speech, I was sobbing. I really never had people that truly cared for me like that in a long time, and it felt good.
Harry reached over and wiped my tears away, and I latched onto him in a hug.
“Thank you for everything, H” I mumbled into his side.
“You’re welcome, B.” He replied. “Now let’s get home, yeah?”