Christie Road

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Lawrence had set up time for the band to record the four-song EP, and as they gathered in the sound booth after the last session to listen to the final mix, they looked around at each other in amazement. He had captured perfectly the raw essence of their music, the energy and complexity, and they couldn't have been happier with the results.

Now it was time to begin contacting venues for the tour, and as the list of cities and towns grew longer, their excitement built until they could hardly wait to take the stage again. They would play Oakland, yes, but then San Diego, Alameda, San Francisco. Further along, the second leg would take them through Vegas and Phoenix, with stops in between. Fall would be the highlight, with stops along the east coast from New York down to Atlanta.

Billie could hardly believe it all. Like some magical side step out of his real life, the whole thing began to seem surreal, as if it couldn't possibly be happening. He found it all but impossible to concentrate on the mundane details of day-to-day living, and more than once he and Ollie butted heads about irritating minutia like laundry and cutting the grass. The distance between them was growing slowly, even though they still lived in the same house, and at the same time that he was arguing with her, he felt a pall of sadness at the fact that their time together was slipping away.

It had been over a week since he had seen Lani, and several times he had cursed himself for not picking up the phone to try to make amends with her, but somehow he had never gotten around to making the call. His pride always reared its head, and he could feel the shock of the ice water splashed angrily in his face all over again. There was a whisper of longing, always, in the back of his mind. But there was some shit he simply would not eat.

Sunday morning had broken warm and sunny, with a pleasant breeze from the Bay. The three boys trekked back and forth from their cars to the old bookmobile, loading all their equipment. This time, though, they were taking extra baggage--clothes, food, music to kill time on the road--and the enormity of it all had made them quieter than they normally would have been before a show.

"I think that's it," Mike said, nodding his satisfaction. Everything had been stowed neatly on the shelves in the back, and secured with bungee cords. "You got everything, Tre?"

"Yeah, I travel pretty light. Just some thongs and nipple clamps," the drummer cracked, wiping his hands on his baggy shorts.

"Fucker!" Mike scolded, thumping the drummer's head. "Get serious, 'cause we're not stopping at every goddamned convenience store on the way so you can pick up fifty things you forgot!"

"Oh, man, that reminds me--hang on a sec!" Billie said, sprinting toward the house. His feet took the basement steps two at a time, and he stood scratching his head at the empty spot where he had last left the old sleeping bag. He poked around, thinking Ollie had folded it and returned it to the box of camping gear, but it wasn't there either. "Shit!" he spat, "where the fuck is it? I don't have time for this!"

"What is it you need, honey?" Ollie's soothing voice drifted down the stairs from the kitchen.

"Have you seen that old sleeping bag, the dark blue one?" he shouted up to her.

"Isn't it in the box with the tent?"

"No, I looked. It's not there." He shuffled impatiently between the stacks, even checked in the back corner behind the furnace, where he had found it, but it was nowhere to be seen.

"Billie, Anna said you could take hers," Ollie called. "It's right here in the hall closet."

He was breathless and distracted when he reached the top of the stairs and took the rolled up bag out of Ollie's arms. "Thanks, Anna," he nodded over his mother's shoulder. He kissed his mother's cheek , pulled her to him in a one-armed hug that raised an unexpected lump in both their throats.

"Be careful, son, and good luck to all of you," Ollie said, her voice wavering with emotion.

"Thanks, Mom. We'll see you when we come back through San Francisco, but I'll call you soon and let you know how it's going." He embraced Anna, then stood back, taking a deep breath. "Well, we're off!" he sighed.

His mother and sister stood watching him at the front door as he climbed into the back of the van. Ollie smiled bravely, knowing he couldn't see the tear that slid silently down her cheek. She stayed, looking after them, until the taillights of the van had turned the corner far down the street and her youngest child was gone...

*********************

Billie stared out the back window of the rattletrap old van. watching his home disappear into the distance. One sneakered foot stood poised on the edge of his future, one that fairly hummed with promise and excitement, while the other remained planted in the familiarities of home, and family, and life as he had known it.

Never would he admit it to his friends, but for the first time in his life, he was afraid. Not the kind of fear that would hold him back; he was far too ambitious for that. But he was keenly conscious of the feeling that he had just been catapulted into a total unknown, and it made him uneasy not to be in control of himself and his surroundings.

His back rested against the slick softness of Anna's sleeping bag, head bobbing as the van took the bumps and cracks of the road. He closed his eyes, hoping to focus his mind and stop the raging hurricane that threated to blister his brain. But no matter how hard he tried, adrenaline would have its way, and he was helpless to control the flood of thoughts. And like a scab that wouldn't heal, he kept going back over and over to the moments before he had left home. Some small thing that wasn't quite right, some little detail that didn't make sense.

Where the hell was that sleeping bag?

He had found it on the floor behind the furnace, and that was the night before he had seen Jasmine at Christie Road. But he had left her in good hands, safe at her friend's house. So why would it be gone now?

His stomach sank. She had come back, after all. But she hadn't let him know, and that worried him. Somehow, he had the feeling that she wasn't with her friend, and that she wasn't safe at all. And now that he was on the road, who would be there for her if she needed help?

Had he let her down after all?