Seeing Double

“Harry!” Olivia shouted as she ran out of the tour bus, hoping to catch him before he could get too far away. “Harry, please wait!”

Harry was already halfway across the parking lot, walking god knows where, and Olivia had to jog to catch up to him. He heard her footsteps behind him and stopped when she was just a few feet away. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and he didn’t move to turn to look back at her as he spoke.

“I have nothing to say to you, Olivia,” Harry said simply, letting out a huff before he took another step forward, followed by another and another until he was walking away from her again. “Please, just leave.”

“Harry, please let me explain.”

Olivia’s voice was trembling along with the rest of her body, and in her mind she was begging him to just turn around. She felt like if she could just look at him again she could find a way to make it all better.

“There’s nothing to explain, Olivia!” Harry threw his hands in the air as he turned around to face her. His face lit by the moonlight showed the few lone tears that had fallen down his cheeks. “Nothing. Just – just go.”

There was nothing that Olivia wanted more than to convince Harry that she was worth listening to. That what they had was real. That it wasn’t all a total lie. But she couldn’t. She understood his confusion, pain and disbelief. She understood why he was hesitant – why he didn’t want to speak to her at all.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Olivia finally managed to let out, her lips breathless as they spoke. He held her eyes with his mouth set in a grim line. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Harry let out a long, pained breath before he shook his head softly, closing his eyes briefly. “Well, you did.”

When he finished speaking, he turned away from Olivia again and continued his walk to whatever mystery place he was headed to. It hurt Olivia more than anything to see him walking away from her, and he only made it a few steps before Olivia’s entire body was trembling.

“Can – can I just say one thing?”

Harry froze the moment Olivia began speaking, but he didn’t turn around to face her, just kept his eyes on the horizon in front of them. “What is it?”

“I just wanted you to know that this wasn’t a game for me. It was never my intention to – I – I wasn’t trying to play with your feelings. Everything I felt for you was real, Harry. I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling right now, but I just didn’t want you to have to wonder if I, you know, liked you. I did.”

A moment passed where Harry was just standing in place, no noise or movement coming from his direction. Three breaths passed from Olivia’s lips before he finally spoke. “Well, that’s good to know. Is that it, then?”

“I – I guess so.”

Olivia’s voice cracked, and Harry was quickly walking forward again, while she was left standing frozen. He’d made it a few hundred feet before Olivia heard him yelling to the sky and stomping his feet against the ground. She didn’t hear it the first time, but the second time, she heard a clearly audible “dammit!” being shouted up towards the heavens.

Just as quickly as he shouted, he was turning back around, stomping towards Olivia with his hands at his sides. Even as angry as he was, he looked so unthreatening that all Olivia could do was watch as he headed towards her.

“When?” He asked, his eyes looking into hers pleadingly as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

“What?”

“When was it you?” He continued, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “And when was it your sister?”

Olivia’s eyes roved over Harry’s face back and forth as her mind raced to catch up. She could hardly believe he was talking to her, and it took her far too long to finally speak. “Um, paintball – that was me. Our kiss before your sound check and under the tree. Our first night together. That was all me.”

Harry let out a long, deep breath as he looked down at the ground. “I feel so stupid.”

“Please, don’t,” Olivia said, shaking her head quickly.

“How could I not know? How could I not tell the difference? I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not, Harry, really.” Olivia shook her head again as she bit her lip. “Most people can’t tell. It usually takes a while.”

Harry shook his head, letting out a long sigh. “I just – I was so sure that I knew you. I had all these feelings for you - or for your sister. God, I don’t even know anymore.”

Olivia’s breath hitched in her throat, tears threatening to leave her eyes as she looked at him. She should have expected something like this would happen. She should have known that Harry’s real feelings could have been for either one of them.

“I never kissed her, did I?” Harry asked as his hands shoved deeper in his pockets while his shoulders hunched forward. “Your sister, I mean.”

Olivia shook her head. “No. Not unless she didn’t tell me.”

Harry let out a long breath, looking down at the ground once before he looked back up at Olivia. “Maybe – maybe we could kiss again? See if we still feel it?”

Olivia knew for a fact that she would still feel it. It was Harry that she was worried about, and for good reason. She knew she couldn’t put it off, though, so she nodded her head slowly. “Yeah, that could work.”

Harry gave her what could barely be called a smile before he took a step forward, his hands releasing from his pockets to hold gently onto hers. The moment their skin touched Olivia felt it light inside her, and she nearly gasped as Harry began leaning forward until their lips met.

It was a soft and gentle kiss, but it still made Olivia’s heart race, which was partly because Harry was so magical and partly because she was worried it would be the last time she would kiss him again.

He pulled away a few seconds later, his lips pressed together and his face blank as he looked at her. She wasn’t sure which one of them was supposed to speak first, but before she could say anything, Harry was leaning forward again.

This time, when he kissed her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as she could possibly get, while he moved his lips against hers in a perfect motion. He only continued to deepen their kiss until they were both breathless and pulled away together, looking at each other with their eyes blinking quickly.

“Did – did you feel it?” Olivia asked, her lips trembling as she spoke.

Harry chuckled softly, nodding his head as he kept his eyes on hers. “God, Liv, yeah. Yeah, I felt it.”

“And you –”

“Olivia,” Harry interrupted, reaching his hands out so he could wrap them around hers. “Just please promise you won’t lie to me anymore. If you’re scared, just tell me. That’s fine. We can be scared together.”

“Harry, I’m so sorr–”

“Stop,” Harry said as he shook his head. “Just promise. Just promise that you’ll trust me.”

Olivia took a deep breath, all the old heartbreak and worry rushing to her mind. It was a wave of all the old, bad things that had happened to her, but it was only fleeting as she looked at Harry, whose eyes were the softest she had ever seen.

She nodded her head and smiled at him. “I promise.”


Brennan went to her bunk to grab some of her things before throwing it in her suitcase. She felt she wanted to leave as much as Zayn wanted her to. Who wouldn't after they hurt the first guy that actually cared about them.

Brennan wiped a stray tear as she threw the last thing in her suitcase. She looked behind her and stared at Zayn's bunk and decided she needed to explain what happened whether he wanted to listen or not. She walked over and pulled the curtain back slightly to reveal the back of Zayn.

"Zayn?" she asked and watched his body tense up slightly at her voice.
Zayn sighed heavily. "Go away, Brennan."

"You deserve to know what happened. I know you don't want to hear it but I still need to say it," she said and was met with silence so, she took it as her cue to proceed. "It started with Olivia not wanting to face Harry. She had a bad reputation when it came to guys. She always ended up hurt and I wanted to help her but I also wanted her to learn something. When she suggested that we switch, I didn't know that I would fall for you or that I would finally have a guy that cared about me, not my sister," she spoke the last sentence softly and took a long breath before continuing. "I do really care for you and I knew I did the minute we talked at the paintball place. Then, it was just easy to talk to you in the dressing room. I desperately wanted to go on that date with you but I always seemed to put my sister first. I felt that it was made up when you kissed me. I know that I messed up and I know that I don't deserve even a second thought. That's why I'm going to leave because you deserve someone who gives you full attention and doesn't screw up as much as I do," she finished, her voice cracking as she grabbed her suitcase and purse. She looked at him one more time seeing he had not moved and sighed before walking to the front of the bus. "Goodbye, Z."

Brennan made it to the door before she heard someone walk towards her.

"Brennan, wait," Zayn said from behind her.

She turned around to see Zayn, his hair a disheveled mess and his eyes puffy. She couldn't help but think that she was the cause of breaking him. She basically tore out his heart and stomped on it.

"Zayn, I need to go-" she said before he put his hand up to cut her off.

"You got to talk, now it's my turn," he said and she nodded meekly in response. "I really fell for you, Brennan and I know now that I actually fell for you not Olivia. You hurt me though and even though it was for your sister, I don't know what to do," he said before hesitating for a moment. "I think I'm in love with you and it fucking scares me. I'm terrified that I'm head over heels for you and I feel that I can't really trust you."

Brennan looked at him with a slight shocked expression. "Zayn, my intention was never to hurt you. When I started falling for you, I already wanted to stop switching and the conversation that Louis walked in on was us talking about never switching again."

He sighed deeply. "I'm not even fully sure that this is you right now," he said with a shaky voice.

Brennan sighed and took a step towards him and grabbed his hand. She moved it to her forehead to push her hair back. "Someone once told me that the little scar on my forehead was the one special thing that seperated me from Olivia."

He smiled lightly as a tear fell and he rubbed the scar with his thumb. "It's not the only thing," he said before crashing his lips to hers. The kiss was filled with complete compassion as he moved his arms to wrap around her waist and hers going to his neck.

Brennan didn't know how long they kissed before they pulled away for air. She looked at him with a small smile. "I wanna show you something," she said before leading him to the couch. She grabbed a guitar that sat against the wall and sighed. "Don't laugh but I may have wrote you something and it explains what I feel for you."

Brennan took the pick in hand and looked at his face which was etched with curiosity. She smiled softly before strumming and singing lightly. "
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception"

Brennan finished singing and looked up at Zayn who had a dopey smile on his face.

"You wrote that for me?" he asked, resting a hand on her face.

"I feel that I express myself better that way," she said sheepishly but leaned into his touch, biting her lip softly.

Zayn kissed her lips lightly. "Well, it'll be one things about you that I never get tired of."