The Sun vs The Moon

"You have to understand that you can not hurt him. Got it? Do everything you can to make him happy because he sure as hell deserves it. Treat him like a fucking prince." Jack said.

Okay, so maybe that was a bit much. But Jack just really wants to make sure Rian gets the point (He's never really liked Rian all that much).

"Dude, calm down. I'll take care of him." Rian eases, putting his hands in the air to surrender.

Jack looked hesitant, but gave in. "And if you hurt him, I swear I will-"

"Yea," Rian said, "Kick my ass. We went over this already."

Jack sighed as ran his fingers through his hair. "Good. Now get back to him."

Rian turned around and walked away, muttering, 'Over protective much?' under his breath, but he was out of sight before Jack could reply.

Jack was only making sure Alex got the boyfriend he deserved, and there was nothing wrong with that.

Jack had that talk with Rian a week ago. Not to his surprise, Rian did not live up to his promise. Needless to say, Jack was absolutely furious when Alex retreated to Jack's apartment and told him everything.

Alex explained, in tears, that he went to go see Rian at his house. He wanted to be a nice boyfriend and all, so he visited Rian, only to be met with him and some random guy, fucking in his room.

Rian or the guy didn't even notice Alex, so he backed away quietly and ran to Jack's. The guy's name was Zack, he thinks. If he heard correctly, Rian was moaning it out loud and clear.

So now Alex's head is buried in Jack's chest, the older making soothing noises to calm both himself and Alex down. It was so much information to handle because they both thought Rian was a good kid. Oh, how things change.

"And he was so nice to m-me, Jack. He seemed perfect f-for me." Alex sobbed into Jack's shirt.

"I know, Alex. People aren't always who they say they are." Jack said, offering his share of encouraging words.

Alex sniffled in response, scooting impossibly closer to Jack. They stayed like that for a long, long time.

--

It was in the middle of the night when Alex inevitably woke up. He had, again, another nightmare. Just like always. He usually crawls in bed with Jack after a nightmare, but he felt like he was such a burden for Jack. Jack could probably have a beautiful girlfriend (or boyfriend, he was unsure), and live in a cute little house somewhere besides Baltimore where it was really fucking cold. He could have a nice life if he didn't have Alex weighing him down.

Which of course, none of this is actually true. Jack loves having Alex around, but Alex feels so worthless right now, and those were the kind of thoughts consuming his mind, eating away slowly and he couldn't take it.

He quite literally stumbled out of his bed, trying not to wake up Jack, who was in the room over. Alex went into the kitchen, knowing exactly where he was heading. He almost tripped on what seemed to be the channel selector on the floor, but he disregarded it and continued to the kitchen.

Once he was in there, he looked at the several wooden cabinets, finding a certain one. One with lots and lots of alcohol. In the dark, his fingers traced over the handle, debating whether or not he should open it.

Yea, he decided, he was going to man up. He opened the cabinet door, revealing the glorious liquor cabinet full of drinks that Alex didn't even know existed.

He grabbed one that said Vanilla Vodka, poured some into a shot glass without spilling, and just stared at it. Fuck, was he really going to do this? His brother would be upset that he'd be drinking.

Whatever.

He downed the shot in one swallow, the clear poison burning his throat all the way down. It was bitter, sour and vanilla-ish. It was okay, not the best, but he had heard that drinking makes you feel better, right? If you get drunk, you feel good?

So that's what he did, poured shot after shot until he couldn't see straight and forgot his name. He eventually forgot about Rian and Jack and everyone else, each thought, good or bad, slipping away. He didn't even put the bottle away when he was done. He did do a number on it; it looked like quite a bit was gone.

Even in his never before drunken state, he was coherent enough to realise that he  drank himself into oblivion, which was exactly what his parents did when he was a child.

Alex shook his head (which made it throb) and he stumbled up the stairs, no longer bothering to be quiet. After realising that he's following in the horrible footsteps of his mother and father, he felt like shit.

And feeling like shit also reminded himself that Rian made him feel like shit by cheating on him, that mother fucking cheater, and damn Jack for being so kind to Alex even when he was a bastard to take care of and wow fuck, he's ruining Jack's life, isn't he?

"Fuck," He mumbled, pulling his hair and sliding down the door of his bedroom. "I'm ruining my life."

It wasn't often that he's felt so shitty and worthless, but he sure did right now. Maybe it was the alcohol that made everything seem scarier than it is, or maybe that's just how he thinks. He'll never know.

With negative thoughts swarming around in his mind, he went inside his room in his drunken state, making his way to the bathroom connected to it. He felt like throwing up but everything was going blurry. Maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe because he was crying. Or both.

He feels like he just had a nightmare. Shaky, nervous, afraid, angry, and helpless. Right now, he was feeling like that. He also felt self-destructive.

But then, he remembered the words of his brother. 'Never hurt yourself, Alex. It's addicting.' And so now, Alex is just laying on the floor, drowning in self pity because he wants to feel pain but he doesn't want to disobey Daniel. Everything sucks and he's never felt so low in his entire life.

He disregards everything and wobbles to his night stand where his phone was. As carefully ad h could in such a drunk state, he dialed a number he knew by memory. hearing it ring and ring incessantly until it said, 'Hey, sorry, it's Rian. You missed me, but leave a message and I'll call you back.'

Alex slurred the only words in his mind right now, feeling sick and tired and helpless. "You son of a bitch."

And he hangs up, just like that, leaving Rian to hear the message when he checks his phone.

Then Alex passes out on the spot, leaving Jack to find him in the morning with a hangover and a bloody mess, and maybe a few missed calls.