It Hurts Because It's Real

"I don't believe it. Scott can't really be with them." Lydia said. "He can't be."

Bella sighed and put her head in her hands. "You didn't see the look on his face, though. It was... " She trailed off as she shook her head.

"Then what can I do?" Lydia said urgently; knowing that Bella wanted to stop thinking about it. "I mean, I get that I'm some kind of, like, human Geiger counter for death –– but I don't know how to turn it on and off yet. All I know is that she tried to kill me because of–––" Lydia suddenly paused and Bella looked up at her.

"Because of what?" Bella asked out. "Hey, Lydia, what?"

"When she called me a Banshee.. she was surprised by it." Lydia finished. "What if that's not why she tried to kill me?"

"Then why did she?" Bella asked her best friend tiredly.

"That's what we need to find out."

-

Bella held her breath as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, hoping for good news or a text from Scott. But it wasn't.

"Oh, god, what now?" Lydia asked having seen the look on the girl's face.

"Bella, what is it?" Stiles added quietly and moved closer to her.

"It's from Isaac." Bella could barely hear herself. "Jennifer, she took –– she has Allison's father –– she took him." She looked up at them as her lip quivered. "She has all three now."

"There's still time." Lydia replied quickly. "We still have time, right?"

"I.. I don't know. I guess she has to wait for the–––" Bella started to say but her eyes flickered to Stiles shaking hands and she stopped herself. "Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?" She grimaced as soon as the words left her mouth; so much was wrong at that point. "Stiles," she said when he started breathing unevenly and turning himself in circles. "Stiles?"

"I think I'm having a panic attack." The boy said breathlessly as his chest heaved up and down and he continued to lift his hand up to his mouth as if he was going to throw up.

Bella looked to Lydia who just shook her head; neither of them had any idea what to do. When Stiles started taking huge, gulping breaths like he couldn't get any air into his lungs Bella grabbed onto his hand. She looked at Lydia, who nodded in understanding, before starting to walk quickly down the hallway; Stiles fumbled along behind her, trying to steady himself.

When they reached the locker room Bella flung open the door and pulled Stiles inside. "Okay, come on, we're gonna be fine." She muttered as both of them dropped their bags. Stiles barely made it five steps before he lost his balance and fell against the storage lockers. Bella kneeled down beside him.

"Just try to think about something else." She stuttered; trying to calm herself down aswell as him. "Anything else."

"Like what?" Stiles gasped through heaving breaths as he looked at the floor.

"Happy things.. good things –– um, friends, family!" The words fell ungracefully from her mouth and Stiles looked up at her with a frown. "I mean, no, not family –– oh my god." Bella ran her fingers through her hair and moved closer to him. "Just.. try to slow your breathing."

After a few uncontrollable, uneven breaths Stiles choked out "I can't.. I can't."

Bella held his face in her hands and made him lift his head to look at her. "Shh, Stiles, look at me. Look at me." She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs for a few moments before she took a chance and leaned forward to collide her lips with his. She felt him flinch under her grasp briefly before he relaxed and started to kiss her back. They hadn't kissed in what felt like months.

Bella slowly pulled back and opened her eyes to see that Stiles was looking at her like she was the only person in the entire world. He just stared at her for a few moments, trying to catch his breath.

"H–how did you do that?" Stiles exhaled.

"I, um, I read somewhere that holding your breath could stop a panic attack." Bella explained herself quietly. "So, when I kissed you... you held your breath." She smiled faintly at him.

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did."

Stiles smiled at her lovingly. "Thanks. That was really smart."

"If I was really smart I'd tell you to sign up for a few sessions with the guidance counselor." Bella said but she hadn't meant it; she knew that Stiles had tried it before and it hadn't really helped him.

Stiles shoulders shrugged as he breathed out a shaky laugh. Then he looked up at her in realization. "Morrell."

-

"Are you here for Miss Morrell?" Stiles asked the girl sitting in the chair opposite to Morrell's in her office.

"No, I thought this was Gym class." The girl replied back dryly.

Bella exhaled heavily. "Do you know where she is?"

"If I did I wouldn't be waiting here for twenty minutes." She replied exasperatedly. "So how 'bout you two back out the door and wait your turn."

"We're not here for a session." Bella replied dismissively.

"Wait, did you say Miss Morrell was twenty minutes late?" Stiles intercepted.

"And I don't know why, either, she's always on time."

Stiles looked to Bella. "I was seeing her last year, remember?" he asked and she nodded. "She was never late."

"Well, what does that mean? She's missing?" Bella asked and Stiles shrugged tiredly. "What if we're not the only ones who think she knows something?"

"Then I wanna know what she knows." Stiles replied and moved to Morrell's desk to open one of her drawers.

"What are you doing?" The girl asked, leaning forward in her seat.

"I'm trying to find her."

"Those files are private."

"Yeah, she's kinda right." Bella agreed with the angered girl.

"Here's Lydia's." Stiles responded and pulled out one of the beige folders.

"Stiles, we can't look at that." Bella replied and folded her arms, refusing to take it from him.

Stiles looked up at her and rolled his eyes when he saw her expression. "Fine." He said and dropped the folder, expecting it to land safely on the desk. Instead, it slid off the edge and dropped to the floor.

Both of them exhaled when almost all of it's contents fell out. Bella glared at him as she bent down to pick them up and Stiles just made a face at her. Stiles moved to help her and turned over one of the papers that made Bella stop what she was doing.

"Hey, wait, that's Lydia's drawing." Bella told him and grabbed his hand to stop him from putting it back into the folder. Stiles stared at her fingers on his palm before he replied.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why it's in Lydia's folder."

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "It's the same one."

"Same as what?"

"Same as the one she always draws."

"Maybe she likes drawing trees." Stiles replied nonchalantly.

Bella gaped at him. "You're literally so annoying. Listen to me."

"Damn, you two are like some old married couple." The girl who had been sitting in her chair, watching them, for the past few minutes stood up and left after her remark.

Bella looked back to Stiles and started talking when he finally looked like he was paying attention to her. "Lydia, our friend with supernatural powers has been drawing this exact same tree for weeks. It has to mean something."

Stiles took in a deep breath and looked back to the drawing; something clicked this time. He squinted and Bella watched as he turned the paper around in his hands. His eyes darted all over the paper before he looked back up at the girl who's hand was still wrapped around his. "I know where they are."

-

"How'd you guys find out?" Scott asked as he walked up to Bella, Stiles and Deaton.

Bella was unbelievably relieved to see that he was okay. "Lydia." She replied simply. "You?"

"Morrell." Scott answered. "But, uh, none of the other Alphas know where it is either."

"So if this works, are you gonna tell them?" Stiles asked.

"I can't stop Jennifer without them." Scott replied as he shook his head.

"How about we concentrate on finding your parents first?" Deaton suggested.

Scott swallowed and nodded. "What's the plan?"

"Essentially you –– or Bella –– Stiles and Allison need to be surrogate sacrifices for your parents." Deaton told him.

"We die for them?" Scott asked with raised eyebrows. "Bella, there's no way you're doing this."

"Yeah, I agree." Stiles added. "You can't do this."

Bella rolled her eyes; she already knew that they both would say that she couldn't. "He can bring us back."

"You remember the part where I said it was dangerous?" Deaton interfered.

"Yeah, you're definitely not doing this." Stiles responded as he looked to Bella.

Bella opened her mouth to reply but Deaton took her place. "There's something else that you need to think about. You'll be giving power back to the Nemeton; a place that hasn't had power in a long time. This kind of power is like a magnet, it attracts the supernatural. It will draw them here, like a beacon."

"It doesn't sound any worse than anything we've already seen."

"You'll be surprised at what you have yet to see." Deaton replied and looked to the ground.

"Is that it?"

"No. It'll also have an affect on the three of you. You wont be able to see it, but you'll feel it. Everyday; for the rest of your lives. It'll be a kind of.. darkness around your heart. And permanent. Like a scar."

"Like a tattoo."

-

"Alright," Deaton said when they had emptied the last bag of ice. "what did you bring?"

"Um, I've got my Dad's badge." Stiles said and held up the star-shaped broach. "Jennifer kind of crushed it.. in her hand, so, I tried hammering it out a bit. Still doesn't look great." His voice was low and croaky like he was holding back from crying and Bella felt so sad for him.

"It doesn't need to look good if it has meaning." Deaton said.

"Is that an actual silver bullet?" Isaac asked Allison who was staring down at the object.

"Yeah, my Dad made it. It's kind of a ceremonial thing." Allison explained. "When one of us finishes learning all the skills to be a hunter we forge a silver bullet as a testament to the code."

"Scott?" Deaton asked out.

"Our Dad got our Mom this watch when she first got hired at the hospital." Scott said as he held the watch in his hand. "She used to say it was the only thing in her marriage that ever worked."

Bella smiled sadly in remembrance. "Scott, I can do it." She said as she stepped forward.

"No." Stiles and Isaac said at the same time. Everyone in the room looked to Isaac who swallowed awkwardly.

"Or, you know, whatever. I'm cool with.. whatever." Isaac tried again and Stiles scrunched his face up at him.

Scott shook his head. "I'm gonna do it, Bella. I'm older–––"

"By like twenty seconds." Bella muttered.

Scott breathed out a small laugh and looked at the ground for a moment. "It's my job as your older brother to protect you from stuff like this. So I'm gonna do this, alright?"

Bella sighed heavily; this was the worst thing that she could possibly imagine and the thought of some of the most important people in her life being dead for a few moments made bile crawl up her throat. "Fine." She could of sworn that she saw Isaac sigh of relief, but she ignored it.

"Okay, the three of you will get in. And each of us will hold you down until you're essentially, well, dead." Deaton told the teenagers; the thought made Bella sick to her stomach. "But it's not just someone to hold you under, it needs to be someone who can pull you back; someone that has a strong connection to you; a kind of emotional tether."

Bella looked up at Stiles to find him already watching her. She smiled faintly at him and he returned it. Lydia stepped forward to go with Allison, but Deaton stopped her.

"Are you sure?" Allison asked. "I mean, Bella's with Stiles and Scott and I both have to go under."

Deaton just gave her a stern look; this meant that Isaac would go with Allison. Bella frowned and looked at her brother to see his reaction.

"It's okay." Scott said solemnly; Stiles looked to the ground in despair for his best friend. Isaac's eyes flickered to Bella to see her reaction; she just seemed confused and slightly angry. Great, he thought, another reason for her to be angry at him.

After a few moments of preparing themselves Allison, Stiles and Scott approached the ice baths. Isaac, Bella and Deaton stood behind them.

Stiles turned to take one last look at the girl behind him; she smiled sadly and mouthed that she loved him. He smiled back at her before turning back around slowly. The three of them all started to climb into the freezing water; gasps and shaky breaths leaving their mouths.

"By the way, uh, if I don't make it back and you do, you should probably know something." Stiles said to Scott as he shivered and Bella wanted to scold him for saying it. He glanced behind him at Bella. "Your Dad's in town."

Bella's jaw dropped and she felt like she was falling into a never-ending pit of bad news. Her gaze fell to her brother to see that he was just as shocked and confused as she was. But neither of them had the time to think about it now.

Isaac, Bella and Deaton stepped forward and placed their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them as Allison, Stiles and Scott took their last breaths.