Air

She wasn’t suppose to be able to do this. But as she almost felt the still presence of the water under her feet, she knew that in this state, she could indeed. She remembered how she inwardly had laughed at the idea of Jesus walking on water, but here she was doing the same thing. Of course, Jesus had also been alive while doing this, but that technicality didn’t seem as important at the moment as the fact that she was standing on the middle of the lake she grew up by.

Death, it seemed like such a finale thing. Like it would be the end of the road for your presence in this world and yet, here she was. Seeing, feeling, being and even existing, if she actually did exist. She could no longer be sure of anything.

Almost all of her life, she had believed that death meant the end. No afters, no extra tidbits, no nothing. She simply thought that your brain would shut off and that would be the end of all that was her. But what did she believe now? Her mind was still here, her thoughts plaguing her like no other and the world was still the same, yet so different.

The sun was slowly rising in the horizon, as she watched the world of the day slowly arise from it’s slumber to begin yet again. Like yesterday, but still never the same. The fog was still heavy in the air, and if she could still feel it, she would be sure the chill would have frozen her solid by now.

The water of the lake was however frozen solid, like it did every other year in the winter. If you looked down looking for it, you could still see the water moving beneath. But it was so far beneath the frozen surface that she couldn’t be bothered looking at it for long.

The sun had risen further from it’s bed and the early morning colors warmed to reds and oranges of a dawn. The few birds that had stayed, started to awaken, and slowly the sounds of the day began as the nature of the day rise with the sun.

She looked to the other side of the lake, and watched as the cabin she used to call home, became more apparent in the forming sunlight. The wooden cabin her father and his brothers build so many years ago, to be used as his family home. A home he had hoped to pass on to her, when the time would have come.

But that time, she knew, could never come. She loved that cabin, everything from its sturdiness to it’s handcrafted details were perfect to her and, even if it was irrational, she mourned the future that house could have hold. The possibilities that it represented in this moment. Opportunities that she would never gain, never even have a chance to touch with her mind. He had made sure of that.

A single tear flowed freely from her right eye at that thought. Him. She wished she could have un met him, redo her mistake of falling for his charade. But at last, faith had other plans and as she reminded herself. Here she was.

There was one positive thing about her predicament, she watched his downfall. Not with the inner glee as had expected from herself. But with a new found relief that no other girl had to suffer the same fate as she was suffering now.

His downfall was himself, he had made one too many mistakes in the aftermath of his murdering her, to keep his cover going. The first had been small admittance of information he could have never gotten without his presence at the crime. The next, and maybe the most vital, was his so called trophy. He had kept her panties afterwards. Never wanting to completely part with the blood of her innocence that stained them still to this day.

The thing that sealed his faith however was his arrogance and ignorance in picking his next victim. He went after a girl similar to her. Same rich chocolate locks, same almond shaped eyes and same slim build of a young girl of only fourteen. But he didn’t think, didn’t worry and simply assumed his plan would simply work again with any girl.

He had however forgotten she was her father’s daughter. A police officers daughter, with a paranoid mother and so was more prepared for his so called plan than she herself could ever dream of having been in her last moments.

His downfall was himself and as he was sentenced to prison, the arrogant light was still there. But his pride had suffered a mortal wound, defeated by his own “weak” prey.

His arrogance didn’t last long though. The other inmates saw to that, and as the arrogance slipped from his eyes and the fear settled. She thought he finally realize how she felt. How it felt to have once protection ripped from you, how painful a first time could be with a rapist as the doer and how the combination of relief, pain, regret and sorrow could fill you, as you realized your life was over.

Yes,she was now certain he felt her pain to some extent, but somehow it wasn’t enough to free her. She watched the cabin again, the sun was had now rise fully from its bed, and started its daily routine of crossing the sky.

The patio door opened and out came her parents from another life. She watched as their sad eyes became hopeful, as her fathers protecting hands covered her mothers swollen belly. She knew then that she could leave that everything for her was done now.

She felt the air leave her lungs in a swiss of a breath, before a feeling of becoming like air overcome her. She didn’t know what would be next in this next great adventure for her. She simply knew that she was ready for it to start.

The End