Hold Onto Me

The next couple of days were crazy. Work was insane, John was already back in the studio, and all Melody could talk about were her new uncles and how she couldn't wait for them to come back. To make matters worse, Ainsley kept reliving the parking lot fiasco, and John was not amused by it, at all. I couldn't blame him though. I didn't need to get locked up again, and I definitely didn't need someone filing charges against me.

I held Melody's hand as we exited her day care and headed towards the car. I helped her in her seat and hurried to get out of everyone's way. I hated being that mom that held everyone in the line up but hey, safety first, right? I put it on Mel's mix cd, hoping Stevie Nicks' voice would make her sleepy, but after two songs, she started whining from her seat.

"Mommy, I wanna talk to Uncle Matty! Can you call him for me? Pleaseeeee!"

"We'll call him when we get home, sweetie."

"No! I wanna talk to him now! And Uncle Jimmy, Uncle Shorty, Uncle Bri, and Zacky too!"

"Melody Caroline, I said we'll call them when we get home. Now stop asking." I said, sternly.

She didn't say anything back, and I knew she was upset when she didn't start singing along to the song she was named after. I glanced up in the rear view mirror and saw her staring out the window. I let out an exasperated sigh and pulled into a parking lot. After parking, I pulled my phone out, dialed Matt's number, and handed the phone to my spoiled daughter.

The entire way home I listened to her talk to her uncles, and Zacky. It was adorable how she'd giggle at everything they said. I tuned out their conversation, and paid attention to the road so we'd get home safely. I'd already gotten into a wreck and totaled my car once, I didn't need it to happen again. Especially with my daughter in the car.

As I pulled onto my street, my jaw dropped in complete shock. Melody screamed loudly as she saw what I saw too. I couldn't believe it. I parked my car, and Mel squirmed in the back, trying to get out. Zacky and the rest of the guys jumped off the porch and raced to see who could get her out first. Jimmy and his long legs got there first, and had her out in an instant. He hugged her tight and Matt hugged me, followed by the rest of the guys.

We moved the party inside, and Mel stole everyone but Matt. I hugged my brother again, and for a long time. His hugs felt like home, and were just so comforting. I couldn't even describe the feelings I had. Just knowing that after everything, my brother still loved me made me so happy.

I didn't even have a chance to change out of my work clothes before I was being forced to make pizza for everyone. Not that I minded though. Cooking and taking care of the ones I loved were two of my favorite things. It's what I was meant to do.

Matt sat in the kitchen with me, and helped make dinner. When I say helped, I mean ate half the pepperoni slices and threw flour, cheese, and anything else he could get his hands on at me. It was just like it was in the old days, before I had to grow up.

"So, uh... How long are you guys here for?" I asked, sliding the pizzas into the oven.

"However long you can stand us being here. But don't worry, we got a few rooms at that hotel a couple blocks over so we won't be in your, John, or Lauren's way." He smiled.

"What about Val and the girls?"

"Uhm... We didn't exactly tell them we found you. They just think we're doing an extended tour."

"Oh my gosh, Matt! That's crazy! They could have come too, you know?"

"No." He said quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, we just want a chance to really get to know Melody, and let her and Zack have that bonding time without the girls being around, gushing about how cute she is and trying to take her shopping like they did with you."

"I guess." I said, eyeing him suspiciously.

After everyone was fed, we all sat in the living room and watched Melody's favorite movie, The Little Mermaid. She was cuddled up between Zack and me, with Matt on my other side, Johnny in the chair, Brian stretched out on the love seat, and Jimmy on the bean bag. About halfway through the movie, John, Pat, and Kennedy came strolling in, laughing. They all stopped upon seeing the guys sitting in the living room.

"Daddy John! Uncle Kenny! Uncle Patty!" Melody squealed excitedly, as she jumped up to hug them.

I paused the movie and got up, and gave them a hug too. I followed John into our room, leaving Mel to re-introduce everyone. John looked distraught, and started going through the closet, pulling some of his clothes out.

"John, what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna go stay with Kennedy tonight. Kat had to go back home for a while, so we're gonna have bro night. And we have an early morning at the studio." He said, shoving his things in his bag.

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with the guys sitting in our living room?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"So what if it does, Marissa? I can't do anything about it. That's your brother and Mel's father. They have more right to her than I do, so I'm just going to remove myself from the situation for now."

"What? You're leaving?" I asked, completely horrified.

"No... Not like that. Just for a few days. You guys need your time and it's best if I stay out of it." He said walking out of the bed room.

"I can't believe you're fucking doing this right now, John!" I yelled going after him.

I saw him hugging Mel good-bye and that's when it finally hit me. He really was leaving.

"Where are you going, D.J.?" She asked, clinging to his neck.

"I'll be back in a few days. I gotta go away for a bit, but I'll be back. I promise."

I followed him outside, and watched as he put his stuff in the car. He turned around and shoved his hands in his pockets, not saying anything. Things were awkward for the first time since we started dating. Something had changed.

"Are you really gonna come back...?" I asked softly.

"I don't know, M... I want to, but I can't... I just... I need some time to clear my head."

"No... No, John... I love you, Mel loves you, and you love us."

"I know, but that might not be enough to make this work."

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, John? Huh? Throw them all out and tell them to go the fuck away? They love that little girl, and they love me. It's not gonna fucking happen, okay? You know how goddamn miserable I've been without my brother in my life, and now I have that again. So don't you dare make me choose. You know what, no. This isn't even about them, it's about him! It's about Zack, isn't it? Do you not trust me, John? After three years, you still don't trust me, huh?"

"Well, it's not my fault they weren't in your life, now is it? It seems like you've already chosen, so... And so what if it is about him? He stole you from me once, I'm sure Melody isn't the only thing on his mind. I don't know, should I trust you? I mean, you did let it happen the first time. Who's to say you won't this time?"

Without even thinking, I slapped him hard across the face. He didn't say anything, just got in his car and left. Seeing his tail lights moving down the street sent me into hysterics and I collapsed to the ground. Within seconds, I felt someone wrap their arms around me and carry my shaking body into the house. Everyone started panicking, and questioning what happened, and Mel started crying, seeing me crying. After Matt laid me down in the bed, Zacky carried Mel in and she curled up beside me.

"I think we're gonna go." Zack said, softly.

"No, don't. Please. Lauren's working the night shift and I hate being here alone." I mumbled through tears.

"Of course. You know we'd be more than happy to stay."

I held my daughter tight, and tried to stop crying. John and Melody were my world and he basically just left us. It hurt. I couldn't even think straight and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, wake up, and have him home. I turned the light off and soon enough, both Mel and I were fast asleep.