Hold Onto Me

I knew it deep down in my heart that it was time for her to know, and everyone else knew it too. Matt grinned, and nodded his head before calling Zack over to where we were. Jimmy took his place, and he jogged over to us, taking a seat across from me. He had a confused look on his face and I just smiled. As I was about to talk, my phone loudly played my Fleetwood Mac ringtone. I saw John's name on the screen and I just silenced it, not wanting to spoil this extra special moment.

"You still really love Fleetwood Mac, huh?" Zack laughed.

"Yeah, Mel's named after a song. Actually, she was gonna be named Rhiannon but I went with your name instead. Anyway, uhm... I think it's time we tell her."

"What? Really?" He asked, his eyes wide and bright.

"Well... Yeah, if you think it's time."

"Absolutely! Yes! Let's tell her now!" He grinned, more than excited.

We all got up and made our way to where Mel and the rest of the guys were now sitting under a shady tree. I sat down beside Jimmy, and Zack sat beside me, and we ended up making a little circle. Mel climbed into my lap and kissed my cheek.

"Mel, I need to ask you something, okay?" I said, kissing the top of her head.

"What, mama?"

"How do you feel about Zacky?"

"Hmm." She paused, for a second. "He's fun, and he plays with me, and he watches movies with me, and he even made me breakfast, mama! I love him, and he loves me, right?"

"Of course, baby girl. I love you more than anything in the world!" Zacky grinned, holding back tears.

"Why do you ask, mama?" Melody questioned, looking up at me.

"Mel, he's..." How do I do this? Just blurt it out? "Baby doll, Zacky is your dad. Your real dad."

She stayed quiet for a second, and we all exchanged nervous glances. Zack looked distraught, and he started chewing on his lip, waiting for her to say something. Matt let out a sigh and Jimmy nudged me softly, obviously telling me to do something.

"Mel, do you understand?" I asked, brushing the hair out of her face.

"So... Zacky is my daddy? Not like daddy John, but my really real daddy?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Your really real dad."

"I knew it, mama! I knew he was my daddy!" She squealed excitedly before crawling into Zacky's lap and hugging him tightly.

He couldn't stop his tears, and he was bawling his eyes out as he hugged her back. Just seeing that made me cry too. I looked around the circle, and everyone else had tears in their eyes too. Even Brian. When I met Matt's eyes, he started sobbing. I'm sure the people passing us thought we were asbolutely crazy, but it was a very emotional moment.

After maybe five minutes of crying, we all sucked our tears up and Melody was close to falling asleep in Zacky's lap. Knowing her, she didn't take her nap earlier and she was starting to feel the days activities.

"Guys, I think it's time for Mel's late nap. You're more than welcome to come back to the house." I smiled getting up.

"Oh yeah, we'll be there. Don't worry! Tonight, we'll cook a7x style for you." Brian laughed, with a wicked smile.

"Oh no, I don't know if I like the sound of that." I chuckled, taking Mel from Zack so he could get up.

We said our good-byes and Mel gave everyone a sleepy hug before reaching out for her dad. I handed her to him, and she wrapped her little arms around his neck and held on as we walked across the park towards the car. Once he got her strapped in, he joined me at the trunk for a smoke break. I knew I shouldn't smoke, but it was a stress reliever. And damn, was I stressed.

"So, John called me earlier." I said, taking a drag.

"Oh. Oh, really? What'd he say?"

"I dunno, I didn't answer. I guess I'm not interested in anything he has to say. I mean, if he really loved me, he wouldn't have left me last night. Right?"

"No. Not at all. You loved me when you left, even if it was just a little bit, you still loved me. I mean, I don't know all the details of what happened, but it doesn't mean he stopped loving you."

"I think that's a little different, given the circumstances and all. I don't want to let him back in because I'm afraid he's gonna do this again and I can't let him keep hurting our daughter, Z. Surely you can understand that."

"Sure, I understand perfectly. Hey, you don't even know what he wanted to say. Not trying to be a Negative Nancy here, but he could want to get his shit out of the house. I mean, you never know." He said, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, Negative Nancy, let's get Mel home."

Once we got home, Zacky carried Mel to her room and got her tucked in and situated for her late afternoon nap. It was nice to have help for once. I turned the tv on, and laid on the couch with my head on Zack's knee. He gave me a weird look for a second and I just stuck my tongue out. I felt him move underneath me and before I realized it, he was kissing me. And I was kissing back. Something inside me sparked and I couldn't get enough. I pulled away long enough to sit up and straddle him.

His hands were on my hips, and my hands were tangled in his hair. All the unresolved feelings were too much for either one of us to handle and soon, he was carrying me to the bedroom. Once the door shut, my shirt flew across the room and he laid me on the bed. It felt so wrong, but it felt so right at the same time. I pulled his shirt off and ran my fingertips slowly down his chest like I always did back when we were actually together, and he groaned, closing his eyes. When he opened them, his green eyes were full of love and lust and it drove me wild.

***

I let out a sigh as Zack nuzzled his face into my neck. His arms were wrapped around my waist, and I felt terrible. I didn't know where John and I stood and I just cheated on him again, with the same guy. I quickly kissed his cheek and squirmed out of his grasp, before putting my clothes back on. He gave me a concerned look, and I just ignored him, trying to keep from bursting out in tears.

"The guys will be here soon, and I need to check on Mel." I said quietly, walking out.

I heard him mumble a fuck before I shut the door, and ducked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and grimaced seeing my reflection. You could tell I just got thoroughly fucked. My hair was matted in several places, my make up was smeared to hell and back, and I had a hickey peeking out from under my collar.

I quickly stripped and got in the shower, letting the hot water cleanse me. It washed the physical proof away, but I still felt like shit. I slid down the tile wall and just sat on the shower floor, hugging my knees and bawling my eyes out. I couldn't believe I just let that happen. John was right to not trust me. Zachary James was, and always will be, my weakness.