Hold Onto Me

I went two weeks without hearing much from Zack. Matt and I would talk every few days, and Jimmy would make an attempt to call every night to talk to Mel. Brian called Lauren constantly, and there I was, slowly falling into a rut. Every time I would call Zack, he would either send me to voicemail or answer just to tell me he'd call later, but he never would. It was starting to take a toll on me, and Mel as well.

Everytime she would talk to the other guys, she would ask if she could talk to her dad, and they would tell her he wasn't with them. Even Sharon noticed Mel wasn't her normal happy-go-lucky self. When I would ask about him, Matt would just cough and change the subject, Jimmy would say he didn't know, Brian just ignored the question completely, and Johnny would say that he had to go. Something was going on, and I was getting tired of it. I could handle it if it was just me, but not when it starts affecting my child.

That's it. I made my mind up. I was going to take a little trip out to California for the weekend. Sharon agreed to watch her while I got to the bottom of everything. I had my suitcase packed and was on the road within an hour. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I had to do it.

By the time I finally reached Huntington Beach, it was a little after eleven so I got a hotel room for the night. I would do my confrontation tomorrow. I texted Sharon and Lauren that I made it safely before changing into some comfy pajamas, then got in the bed. I laid awake for a while, trying to figure out what I was gonna do. Should I just show up at his house and demand an explanation? No, that's a little weird. Maybe I should go see one of the boys first then go to him? I yawned and decided I would call Jimmy in the morning and see where everyone would be. Perfect strategy.

I woke up the next morning around 6:20, and immediately got dressed to go for a morning run on the beach. There was always something about running as the sun came up that eased my nerves. I put my headphones in my ears before running out of my room and down to the beach. There weren't many people out at all, just a few scattered around, doing exactly what I was. Running to stay in shape, running to relieve stress, metaphorically running from their problems.

After running for over twenty minutes, I sat down in the sand and took a deep breath. The sun would be coming up any minute now and I wanted to watch it. I hadn't seen a California sunrise in so long and it brought back memories of all the times I'd gotten sunburned, the loser guys that hit on me, and all the family picnics we used to have before we moved to Oregon. I was pulled from my thoughts as a girl with orange hair took a seat next to me. Out of all the places on the beach, next to me.

She gave me a friendly smile and I pulled my headphones out, knowing she was going to make conversation with me. Can't be rude this early in the morning, could I? Sure you can!

"You're new here, aren't cha? I run this route every morning and I've never seen you before." She giggled, looking out at the water. "I'm Page, Kelsey Page."

"Oh no, I've lived here before but I'm visiting my brother. It's been a while since I've had a good run on the beach so I figured it was the perfect opportunity." I held my hand out for her to shake and she graciously did. "I'm Quinn, Marissa Quinn."

"Nice to meet you, Marissa Quinn." She smiled brightly. "Ya know, you're absolutely gorgeous. You should totally be a model. Sorry if that's creepy or whatever."

"Nice to meet you too!" I laughed softly. "Awe, thank you! You're quite stunning yourself."

"Thanks. So uh, do you have a boyfriend... girlfriend... significant other?" She asked, before her eyes got wide. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! Damn, I just can't help myself around a cute girl."

"Ohhh, it's a little complicated. But no boyfriend and no girlfriend. Hey, no worries. It's okay." I grinned. "No one's hit on me recently. I was starting to think I was losing it."

"So, you said you're visiting, right?" She asked, and I nodded. "How long are you here for?"

"Just the weekend. I've gotta get back to my daughter and work."

"Oh, you have a daughter? I bet she's just as adorable as you are." I couldn't help but blush when she said that. "Well, I think maybe we should get together and have dinner before you leave."

"I dunno..." I thought about it for a second, all the while she just smiled.

"How about I give you my number? If you change your mind, give me a call. If you don't, no harm."

"Hmmm... Okay." I handed her my phone, and watched as she put her number in. "You just might get a call."

"I'll be looking forward to it." She winked before getting up. "See ya around, Marissa Quinn."

I watched as she jogged down the beach and once she was out of sight, I groaned and laid down in the sand. What in the world was I doing? Why was I flirting with this girl I didn't even know? Sure, I'd dated girls before, but not when I was in such a complicated place. I mean, I didn't know where I stood with Zack, and John... God, I'd almost forgotten about him over the last few weeks. How could I forget about someone I'd spent the past three years with so easily?

I let out one more groan before finally getting up. I brushed most of the sand off my clothes before putting my Avenged Sevenfold radio station. It was the perfect kind of music to keep me moving. I jogged as my brother's voice rang through my ears, pushing me to run faster. I was sure I looked like a mad woman, running so fast and all, but I wanted to get back to my hotel and take a nice relaxing shower.

It was now 11:15 and I figured it was a perfect time to call Jimmy to figure out how I should go about this. As I got in my car, I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. How could I do this without telling him I was here? Maybe I should tell him...

"Hey, Rissy! I was just thinking about you! What's up sweet thang?"

"Hey, Jim-Jam." I grinned. "Oh, not much. Just driving. You?"

"Just hanging out at Matt's house with the guys. Is Mel around? Uncle Jimmy wants to say hi."

"Oh, no. She's with Sharon and Joe for the weekend." I said, clearing my throat. "So uh, is Zack around?"

"So, how's Lauren? And Ainsley?"

"He's there, isn't he? Why is everyone treating me like a child? Why won't you just tell me what the fuck is going on, Jimmy?"

"Marissa... Just leave it alone, okay? I've gotta go." He let out a sigh before hanging up.

I looked down at my phone for a second before tossing it in the passenger seat. Whatever this was, it was about to end. All the secrecy and ignoring me wasn't going to fly anymore. I'd had enough of it, and I didn't deserve any of this.