Ignite

It was only then that Jack realised how close they really were sitting. How Zack’s hand was still on his shoulder, his thumb now gently gliding back and forth, heating Jack’s skin even more. How he could count all of Zack’s eyelashes, and he knew Zack could count his too. How, if Jack were to lean forward, he could totally kiss Zack right now.

Woah. What?

NO.

Zack’s thumb stilled, but his hand didn’t move. If anything, the air around them got more intense, Zack’s breathing just as shaky as Jack’s. Jack didn’t fail to notice Zack’s eyes flicking down to his lips, his heart and gut and head and everything yearning for this to be real, not to be just another stupid fantasy. Zack swallowed heavily, Jack watching his adam’s apple bob up and down, his stomach flipping at the sight. Something changed in Zack’s eyes, a flicker of determination, and he...

“ZACK! JACK! HAVE YOU GUYS GOT SPARE BARBECUE SAUCE?”

Seriously? Seriously right now?

Rian. Jack was going to fucking kill him. He’d been that close.

Zack bit his bottom lip, before moving away from Jack, Jack barely able to stop the whimper coming from his lips.

“NO WE HAVEN’T! FUCK OFF!” Zack called back.

Rian just laughed, thumping on the door once before walking away. Zack glanced over at Jack, and Jack could only manage a weak smile back before he turned his head, gathering the rest of the papers from the floor. His shoulder still burned where Zack’s hand had been, like a brand, the memory of the longing on Zack’s face ingrained into his mind.

“So, um, where were we?”

*

Jack was confused.

Well, confusion seemed to be more of a permanent state of mind these days, but he was even more confused than usual. Ever since that so-so-close-to-kissing moment last week, Jack’s whole world had taken a strange turn.

And naturally, it all stemmed down to Zack.

There was no point denying that everything in his life was somehow tied to Zack now.

But Zack…Zack was really crossing the line now. Ever since that night, since Jack almost gave into the temptations he’d struggled against, Zack seemed to be everywhere. He stopped by Jack’s desk at least three times a day, just for a chat. He always seemed to be in the elevator in the mornings when Jack arrived, just the two of them sharing the very small space. He always had an excuse to touch Jack, with a hand on his back or shoulder or arm.

And it was all messing with Jack’s head. He wanted Zack so badly, but he couldn’t bring himself to vocalise his thoughts, couldn’t bring himself to ask the question that would confirm once and for all whether he was just imagining all of this.

Then again, Alex’s reactions all week gave him a little hope that he wasn’t imagining all these new things. The morning after the night Jack stayed late, Alex had grilled him to the point where Jack had nearly squealed the truth, but all Jack had said (and he was proud of himself for this) was that they had an awkward moment. And he let Alex read into it whatever he wanted. In hindsight that probably wasn’t the best idea, because Alex had taken to teasing him an every opportunity, making obscene gestures and ridiculous faces, awfully sleazy comments slipping out at every chance to could take to get Jack to blush. It was ridiculous and so Alex but what could Jack do? He didn’t want to admit the full scale of his thoughts. Alex already knew too much.

It didn’t help that Mr Dawson…uh, Rian had been smirking at him as well, even winking at Jack after Zack squeezed his shoulder in passing on their way back from lunch. What even was his life anymore?

Jack needed some space, just a little space for himself tonight, so he begged off going out for drinks with his colleagues and instead just went back to his tiny little apartment. He stripped down his boxers as soon as he shut the door (what? His apartment, his rules) and flopped down on the sofa, reaching for the TV remote. A little relaxation never hurt anyone, especially not since Alex was demanding that his birthday in 6 days’ time be turned into an entire birthday week. Jack could use all the rest and preparation he could get.

~

An hour into his intended TV marathon, Jack’s stomach rumbled embarrassingly, so he headed to his tiny kitchen to make himself some dinner. And it was then (after looking at the photos he had stuck to his fridge with magnets) that he realised he hadn’t called his mom in a while. She may be blindly supportive of his asshole dad, but she was still his mom. It wasn’t like he had to make it a long phone call, was it?

It only took her two dialtones to pick up.

“Jack! Baby! How are you?”

Jack couldn’t help but smile. He could hear the happiness in her voice.

“Hi mom. I’m good thanks, you?”

He let her ramble about family news and so on for a few minutes, making the appropriate humming noises as he stirred his pasta sauce, feeling the tightness in his chest dissipate a little. It was good to hear her voice.

“So…is there anyone special in your life?”

Ah. He could detect the cautious tone a mile off. Well, at least she was trying.

“I was seeing someone, a man named Jaime, but we broke up over a month ago,” Jack admitted, “But I kinda like someone at work now,”

Oh shit. Oh why did he say that?!

“Someone at work, huh?” she teased.

Jack just blushed. He really hadn’t meant to admit that to his mom of all people.

“He’s really nice, I swear,” Jack insisted, resisting the urge to facepalm.

“Whatever makes you happy, Jack! Just as long as it’s not your boss!” she laughed.

Well fuck.

“O-Of course not,”

Stupid, stupid Jack. That just hit him right in the gut.

“Are you okay, Jack?”

“Yeah, sorry, just trying not to burn my dinner,” Jack lied.

“Oh I’ll let you go then, sweetheart! I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jack said, smiling weakly, “Bye mom,”

As soon as the call ended, Jack dropped his phone onto the kitchen counter, and clung on for dear life. How stupid was he? Falling for someone at work, let alone falling for his boss? This was like a bad daytime TV rom-com! A completely unrequited clichéd mistake. And it only took one passing comment to hammer that through his thick skull. He was such an idiot!

Jack took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut until his hands had stopped shaking. He may have made the mistake of thinking that something could’ve happened between him and Zack, but he wouldn’t make that mistake again. No way. He refused to be that guy, that PA who fell head over heels for their boss, that idiot who wasn’t thinking straight.

But no more. Jack could see that now. And he wasn’t going to forget it either.