Ignite

Ever since that eye-opening phone call, Jack had tried to keep to himself. Not responding to any of Zack’s flirting or touches. His mom was right – what had he been thinking? Flirting with his boss? Falling for his boss? No, he’d been an idiot. And he wasn’t going to set himself up to be humiliated or hurt. No way.

That didn’t mean he could pretend to be happy about it. Not with Zack looking so confused about him acting coldly.

Today was December 18th. The past few days had been difficult for Jack, he wasn’t going to lie. It had all stemmed from Alex’s birthday, on the 14th, because he’d shared a celebration venue with his flatmate’s brother Mike, meaning that Jaime was obviously there. Nothing in particular had been said between Jack and Jaime. Jack had been perfectly polite, civil, smiling, as had Jaime, but Jack had struggled with seeing Jaime being ‘closer than friends’ with some guy called Austin. Austin C…Carlile? Jack hadn’t wanted to ask to confirm, because he knew that wasn’t fair on either of them. Jaime was allowed to move on, he had every right to. Jack just didn’t particularly enjoy seeing his ex draped all over another man. It was super awkward and Alex had apologised profusely, but that didn’t change Jack’s mood.

And cue today’s misery. Today is Mr Dawson…Rian’s birthday, and Alex had insisted he come along to the celebrations after work. Apparently everyone was going. And apparently Jack needed to make an appearance so people would stop quizzing Alex about Jack acting like a little bitch (Alex’s words, not Jack’s). Jack could do that, right? He could enjoy a night out with Alex and their teams at work without thinking about Zack, right?

Well, he could try, anyway.

*

Fuck this was torture. Of course Zack had to arrive looking like his usual edible perfection, crisp white shirt clinging to his sculpted torso, worn jeans accenting his lower half in all the right places. Rian had come to the bar straight from work with both teams, whilst Zack had come in a little later with two guys Jack didn’t know. He assumed these were ‘The Matts’ Zack always talked about, the two ex-colleagues he and Mr Dawson go out drinking with every couple of weeks.

No. He needed to stop this ridiculousness. He needed to stop thinking about Zack and he needed to stop now.

By the time the celebratory group moved to a new bar, one with a dance floor, Jack was fairly drunk. Like, he could still walk, but he knew he was starting to slur and if he moved too quickly things got a little blurry. But whatever. It was perfectly acceptable to bury his feelings in alcohol for a night.

“Jaaack! Buddy!” Alex said, grinning widely.

Oh good. Alex appeared to be as drunk as he was.

“Hey Lexy. Sexy Lexy,” Jack grinned back.

Alex giggled, waving enthusiastically at the bartender, who came over with a bemused smile. Their teams were both dancing, leaving Jack and Alex alone at the bar. It was probably for the best.

“How can I help you?”

“We’re drowning our sorrows – what can you recommend?” Alex replied smoothly.

Drowning our sorrows? Jack knew Alex had noticed his melancholy behaviour, but what was Alex sad about?

The bartender just laughed.

“Well rum can be quite a good help, but that’s a killer hangover. And beer also works but it takes a long time. Personally I would go for tequila,” the bartender shrugged.

Oh God.

“5 shots each then please! And another beer each to chase them,” Alex nodded.

The bartender’s eyebrows shot upwards at the same time Jack’s jaw dropped slightly, but Alex just pulled out his credit card with a winning smile. Fuck.

“What’s going on, Alex?” Jack asked, frowning.

“I will talk as soon as I’ve had these shots,” Alex shrugged.

Huh.

It didn’t take long for their drinks to be in front of them, grateful for the bar stools Alex had conjured. He would probably need them, if Alex had his way.

“To the men we’ve given our hearts to,” Alex grumbled, holding up the first shot.

Ah. So that’s what this was about.

But Jack wasn’t going to complain. Not when he could probably do with this. He could trust Alex, right?

1 shot.

2 shots.

3 shots.

4 shots.

5 shots.

And a swig of beer to wash them down. Fuck. Jack was definitely drunk now. Even Alex was blurry.

“So wha’ was this for?” Jack slurred, propping his head up on the bar with his hand.

“Rian said he l-loves me but he st-still won’t go public with our rela…rel…relationship,” Alex hiccupped.

Oh wow.

“Really? He said he l-loves you?” Jack asked wistfully.

Alex nodded, frowning.

“But it’s clearly not e-enough if he won’t be open!” Alex whined.

Jack smiled sadly. He knew how much this meant to Alex. He knew that, despite all the bravado, Alex really cared about Rian, and he knew all this hiding was killing him.

“I just don’t know w-what to do. I can’t be without him but I don’t know if I c-can do this for much longer. It h-hurts too much,” Alex mumbled.

“Oh Alex,” Jack said softly, hand reaching up to squeeze Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Rian were perfect for each other. They couldn't end like this.

Alex smiled sadly back, patting Jack’s hand.

“You gonna t-tell me what’s wrong with you? Why you’re av-avoiding Zack?” Alex asked.

Damn it.

“Not avoiding,” Jack muttered.

“Bullshit,” Alex shot back.

For fuck’s sake.

“I’m not you, A-Alex. I don’t get the g-good f-fortune of having the man I’m crushing on liking m-me back. Not me. Never me. It’s st-stupid to think that liking my boss this m-much would ever amount to anything good,”

“But Jack…”

“No, Lex. I can’t…it’s just a stupid f-fantasy. A stupid clichéd fantasy and I was an id-idiot to let it get to my head,”

“What happened?”

Jack wanted to smile, he really did. But he just couldn’t.

“I woke up,” Jack shrugged, picking at the label of his beer bottle.

Alex let out a whoosh of breath, but Jack couldn’t bring himself to look up at his friend’s face. He didn’t want the judgement or the pity. He couldn’t handle it.

Then Alex choked a laugh, voice wet with emotion.

“We’re pathetic,” Alex snickered.

Jack groaned, nodding his head. He was a young single gay man in New York – he should not be this hung up over one guy. He just needed to go out and get this stupidity fucked out of his system. That was all there was to it.

“We need to dance,” Jack said firmly, draining the last of his beer.

“Is that a good idea?” Alex frowned.

“Dance,” Jack repeated, sliding off his stool with a little less grace than he should’ve.

Alex just giggled, accepting Jack’s hand as help to stand properly too, dragging him onto the dance floor.

*

A blur of lights flashing around him.

The sway of bodies, crushed together in the crowd.

The pulse of music, thrumming through his body.

Hands on his hips, lips on his neck.

Body pressed against his back, hard line of arousal.

Jack, do you want to come back to mine?

Yes.