Anxious Hearts and Anxious Minds
Sing me to sleep
(a few weeks later)
I gasp and sit bolt up right, panting heavily, 'Alex?' Jack whispers, shining the light from his phone at me, I can't answer him, it feels like my lungs are collapsing, 'shit.' he gasps and jumps out of bed, putting the light on quickly and kneeling in front of my bed, 'Alex, Alex, listen to me, I need you to breathe, breathe for me Alex.' he whispers, shakily putting a hand on my knee, I take a few shaky breaths, my eyes squeezed shut, 'that's it Alex, just breathe, you're okay.' Jack whispers.
After a few minutes, I open my eyes and rest my hand on Jack's, whos is still on my knee, 'thank you.' I whisper, 'it's fine. Come here.' he sighs, standing up and sitting on my bed, offering me a hug, I fall against his chest and he hugs me tightly, 'is that the first panic attack you've had since you arrived?' he asks, 'no, first one where i nearly passed out though.' I sigh, 'okay, you're okay now.' he whispers.
(a few days later)
'Do you want to come for a walk with me?' Jack asks, 'are we allowed?' i say softly, 'no but does it look like I'm bothered? I do it all the time.' he shrugs, 'okay, have you seen my blink hoodie?' I ask, standing up, 'i think it got taken away with the laundry. Here, you can borrow this.' he smiles and hands me his fall out boy hoodie, 'thanks.' I chuckle and pull it over my head, it smells so good, 'come on.' Jack grins and takes my hand, I raise an eyebrow and he looks back at me, 'what? You're gay, I'm gay, I can hold your hand, no big deal.' he shrugs, 'how do you know I'm gay?' i gasp, 'I have a very good judge of character.' he smiles, even when he smiles and laughs, his eyes are scared, 'oh, okay.' i chuckle.
-
'Do I scare you?' I ask, looking into Jack's eyes, 'everyone scares me.' he mumbles, 'okay, are you scared OF me?' i ask and he shakes his head, 'no, you are actually the person that scares me the least. But it's still very difficult to be around people without feeling like they are going to hurt me.' he sighs, 'I won't hurt you. Ever.' I say quietly, squeezing his hand, he smiles and looks at me while we walk, 'what?' I ask, 'you're very pretty.' he whispers and I feel myself turn red, 'no, I'm not.' I mumble, 'you are Alex.' he smiles.
(a week later)
I smile while watching Jack strum his guitar, I perk up a bit more when he starts playing I miss you by Blink 182, I start singing quietly and Jack smiles at me, 'turn up the volume bud.' he says softly and I take a shaky breath and sing a bit louder, making jack smile.
'Jesus Alex, your voice is incredible. Wow.' Jack grins, 'um, thanks...?' I chuckle, 'you should sing me to sleep sometime.' he smiles, 'you don't sleep good, do you?' I ask, 'no, not at all.' he shrugs.
I gasp and sit bolt up right, panting heavily, 'Alex?' Jack whispers, shining the light from his phone at me, I can't answer him, it feels like my lungs are collapsing, 'shit.' he gasps and jumps out of bed, putting the light on quickly and kneeling in front of my bed, 'Alex, Alex, listen to me, I need you to breathe, breathe for me Alex.' he whispers, shakily putting a hand on my knee, I take a few shaky breaths, my eyes squeezed shut, 'that's it Alex, just breathe, you're okay.' Jack whispers.
After a few minutes, I open my eyes and rest my hand on Jack's, whos is still on my knee, 'thank you.' I whisper, 'it's fine. Come here.' he sighs, standing up and sitting on my bed, offering me a hug, I fall against his chest and he hugs me tightly, 'is that the first panic attack you've had since you arrived?' he asks, 'no, first one where i nearly passed out though.' I sigh, 'okay, you're okay now.' he whispers.
(a few days later)
'Do you want to come for a walk with me?' Jack asks, 'are we allowed?' i say softly, 'no but does it look like I'm bothered? I do it all the time.' he shrugs, 'okay, have you seen my blink hoodie?' I ask, standing up, 'i think it got taken away with the laundry. Here, you can borrow this.' he smiles and hands me his fall out boy hoodie, 'thanks.' I chuckle and pull it over my head, it smells so good, 'come on.' Jack grins and takes my hand, I raise an eyebrow and he looks back at me, 'what? You're gay, I'm gay, I can hold your hand, no big deal.' he shrugs, 'how do you know I'm gay?' i gasp, 'I have a very good judge of character.' he smiles, even when he smiles and laughs, his eyes are scared, 'oh, okay.' i chuckle.
-
'Do I scare you?' I ask, looking into Jack's eyes, 'everyone scares me.' he mumbles, 'okay, are you scared OF me?' i ask and he shakes his head, 'no, you are actually the person that scares me the least. But it's still very difficult to be around people without feeling like they are going to hurt me.' he sighs, 'I won't hurt you. Ever.' I say quietly, squeezing his hand, he smiles and looks at me while we walk, 'what?' I ask, 'you're very pretty.' he whispers and I feel myself turn red, 'no, I'm not.' I mumble, 'you are Alex.' he smiles.
(a week later)
I smile while watching Jack strum his guitar, I perk up a bit more when he starts playing I miss you by Blink 182, I start singing quietly and Jack smiles at me, 'turn up the volume bud.' he says softly and I take a shaky breath and sing a bit louder, making jack smile.
'Jesus Alex, your voice is incredible. Wow.' Jack grins, 'um, thanks...?' I chuckle, 'you should sing me to sleep sometime.' he smiles, 'you don't sleep good, do you?' I ask, 'no, not at all.' he shrugs.