Anxious Hearts and Anxious Minds
I'm a walking travesty
(a few weeks later)
'Hey jacky, you okay?' I ask when Jack walks into our room, he looks at me with red, scred eyes, 'what's wrong?' I ask, 'I went for a walk and had an attack.' he mumbles, 'oh shit, come here.' I sigh and he walks over, sitting down on my bed next to me, I wrap my arms arond him tightly and kiss his temple, 'it's okay buddy, you're okay now.' I whisper.
(a week later)
'What's bothering you?' I ask, resting a hand on Jack's back, 'um, can we go up to our room?' he mumbles and I nod, taking his hand.
'Please don't hate me but I really like you.' Jack sighs, hiding his face, 'why would I hate you Jack, you're cute, you're funny, you're kind, I think you're amazing, I would never hate you.' I say softly, sitting down next to him and stroking his back, 'I have terrible trust issues, when I start to like someone, I absolutely hate myself.' he sighs, 'did someone hurt you Jack?' I ask and he nods, 'his name was Zack. I loved him so much, I thought he loved me too. But it wasn't love. It was hate. Sick, torturous hate.' he says shakily and I hug, 'you can trust me, I will never hurt you Jack. I really like you.' I whisper, he smiles softly and I kiss his cheek, 'do you want to give us a go?' I ask and he nods, 'good. I've had a crush on you since the first week I arrived.' I chuckle and he laughs, 'god, your laugh is beautiful.' I whisper, 'nothing is as beautiful as you.' he whispers, 'I'm not beautiful.' I mumble, 'Alex, you are breathtaking. When I first saw you, my heart almost fucking stopped.' he smirks, 'are you sure that wasn't just your anxiety?' I chuckle, 'well, yeah, that probably had something to do with it, but it definitely was the fact that you took my breath away. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, you're just so beautiful.' he whispers and kisses my forehead, 'I won't ever believe you.' I sigh, 'well you should. One day I'll make you believe me.' he smiles softly.
(a few days later)
'Is it just me or is it really cold?' Jack asks, 'it's freezing.' I mutter, rolling over and facing him, 'maybe you should come cuddle for warmth.' he smirks and I chuckle and get out of bed, tugging my sleeves over my hands as I walk over to him, he lifts his duvet up and shuffles over in bed, I get in next to him and he wraps his arms around my torso tightly, pulling my back against his chest, 'jesus christ you're so cold.' i mutter, 'so are you.' he laughs and kisses behind my ear, 'you make a good big spoon.' I giggle, a very manly giggle, but still a giggle, 'you make a good little spoon, you're so fucking tiny.' he whispers, 'I'm not that much shorter than you.' I pout, 'no hun, but you're so much skinnier and bonier and you just have a smaller appearance in general.' he shrugs, 'I'm a recovering bulimic Jack.' I sigh and he gasps, 'shit, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Fuck. I'm such a dick.' he groans, 'it's fine babe, I'm okay now. I haven't binged or purged for months now.' I tell him, squeezing his hand that lays over my chest, 'okay, that's good, you're too perfect for that.' he whispers and I sigh.
'Hey jacky, you okay?' I ask when Jack walks into our room, he looks at me with red, scred eyes, 'what's wrong?' I ask, 'I went for a walk and had an attack.' he mumbles, 'oh shit, come here.' I sigh and he walks over, sitting down on my bed next to me, I wrap my arms arond him tightly and kiss his temple, 'it's okay buddy, you're okay now.' I whisper.
(a week later)
'What's bothering you?' I ask, resting a hand on Jack's back, 'um, can we go up to our room?' he mumbles and I nod, taking his hand.
'Please don't hate me but I really like you.' Jack sighs, hiding his face, 'why would I hate you Jack, you're cute, you're funny, you're kind, I think you're amazing, I would never hate you.' I say softly, sitting down next to him and stroking his back, 'I have terrible trust issues, when I start to like someone, I absolutely hate myself.' he sighs, 'did someone hurt you Jack?' I ask and he nods, 'his name was Zack. I loved him so much, I thought he loved me too. But it wasn't love. It was hate. Sick, torturous hate.' he says shakily and I hug, 'you can trust me, I will never hurt you Jack. I really like you.' I whisper, he smiles softly and I kiss his cheek, 'do you want to give us a go?' I ask and he nods, 'good. I've had a crush on you since the first week I arrived.' I chuckle and he laughs, 'god, your laugh is beautiful.' I whisper, 'nothing is as beautiful as you.' he whispers, 'I'm not beautiful.' I mumble, 'Alex, you are breathtaking. When I first saw you, my heart almost fucking stopped.' he smirks, 'are you sure that wasn't just your anxiety?' I chuckle, 'well, yeah, that probably had something to do with it, but it definitely was the fact that you took my breath away. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, you're just so beautiful.' he whispers and kisses my forehead, 'I won't ever believe you.' I sigh, 'well you should. One day I'll make you believe me.' he smiles softly.
(a few days later)
'Is it just me or is it really cold?' Jack asks, 'it's freezing.' I mutter, rolling over and facing him, 'maybe you should come cuddle for warmth.' he smirks and I chuckle and get out of bed, tugging my sleeves over my hands as I walk over to him, he lifts his duvet up and shuffles over in bed, I get in next to him and he wraps his arms around my torso tightly, pulling my back against his chest, 'jesus christ you're so cold.' i mutter, 'so are you.' he laughs and kisses behind my ear, 'you make a good big spoon.' I giggle, a very manly giggle, but still a giggle, 'you make a good little spoon, you're so fucking tiny.' he whispers, 'I'm not that much shorter than you.' I pout, 'no hun, but you're so much skinnier and bonier and you just have a smaller appearance in general.' he shrugs, 'I'm a recovering bulimic Jack.' I sigh and he gasps, 'shit, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Fuck. I'm such a dick.' he groans, 'it's fine babe, I'm okay now. I haven't binged or purged for months now.' I tell him, squeezing his hand that lays over my chest, 'okay, that's good, you're too perfect for that.' he whispers and I sigh.