Lonely Girl

"I’m lonely. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m just lonely. 

From the moment I wake up in the morning and eat breakfast alone 

To the moment I go to bed on a blow up queen mattress alone

I am lonely.
My heart is full but I am empty.
Sometimes all I want is someone to love

And be loved by.
He doesn’t need to be beautiful

Just beautiful to me.
I want to know
How it feels
To lie next to someone
With all the time in the world to memorise
The bow of their lips
The freckles on their face
And the gaps in their teeth

I want to wake up
In the middle of the night
And know that if I need him
He’s a millimetre away
Sleeping softly
His face awash with moonlight
And a childlike innocence

That only comes across his face

When he’s asleep.
I don’t care

If he listens to bad music
Or plays video games 

When he should be studying

Or eats too much junk food

Or all those other things

That women whinge about.
It’s so petty.
Who cares
If he plays guitar

At six am
As long as it’s the most beautiful sound imaginable?
Watch his hands
Run over the frets
And imagine
Him holding your child
With that much love
And care.
Hold him close.
Remember that
The things you berate him for
Could be things that
Someone else
Is falling head over heels for.
His awkward laugh
That you hate
Could be something
That lights up someone else’s day.
Love is tumultuous
Tempestuous
Unpredictable
UNBEARABLE
And irreplaceable.
I thought I had it once.
But I blinked
And my knight in shining armour
Became the monster

In my nightmare.”