Therapy

He's not fucking crazy. Everyone was just out to get him. That's why he was sitting in the back of a police car, on his way to the children's psych ward at Baptist Hospital. He was still dressed in the orange jumpsuit the jail had provided for him.

It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve this but his parents, lawyer, and the Judge thought it was for the best.

"You're sick." His mother had told him. "You need help."

When the jury declared he was guilty, Alex lost it. He yelled and kicked as the court officers dragged him away.

"Alexander Gaskarth, you will serve out your sentence in the care of psychiatric professionals."

Alex didn't want to go. He'd rather rot in prison than go to the nut house. He wasn't crazy.

Alex stared out the window, watching the scenery go by. He wasn't going to see the light of day for a long time. It was early June. School had just let out. He had to waste a whole summer in that damn hospital. It was bullshit.

They drove past the park where a bunch of kids and their parents were playing. Alex found himself feeling animosity towards each and every one of them. They were running around without a care in the world when Alex was on his way to the looney bin.

Alex groaned frustratedly and tore his eyes away from the window. He was only making himself more miserable. The officer driving chuckled and shook his head.

Alex scowled and closed his eyes, resting his head on the glass. Alex was having one if the worst days of his life and this cop was laughing at him. Prick.

A few minutes later, the car came to a stop. Alex opened his eyes and gazed out the window. They were in front of a large brick building that read "Baptist Hospital" It looked like a ghost house.

"We're here." The officer said as he climbed out. Alex shrunk down in his seat as the officer came around to open his door. "Let's go, Gaskarth."

Alex shook his head and slid over to the opposite side. The officer sighed, obviously not in the mood for this. He ducked inside the car to grab Alex's arm, almost pulling it out of its socket as he yanked Alex out.

Alex screamed and fought against him. He knew he was going to be committed and it was no use fighting but he could at least make everyone's job harder. He was going to put up a fight.

He must have looked downright mental to those watching, ironic considering where he was. It took two officers, a doctor and a sedative to get Alex under control and inside in a wheel chair.

The hospital smelled like Lysol and death. The adolescent psych unit was on the 7th floor. Alex's head was spinning as he was rolled to the elevators. It felt like a dream. Alex was flying. Well, his upper body was. He wasn't sure where he legs went.

Everything was blurry. A gentle voice was saying his name but Alex could only grin in response. He closed his eyes, drifting off into sleep.

When he came to, he was in a dark room. Four white walls surrounded him. The bed he lied on was lumpy and covered with cream sheets. The only other furniture was an empty desk in the corner.

Alex sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. How long had he been out? There were no windows in here so he didn't even know if it was night or day. The door opened and a nurse walked in with a huge machine.

"Hello, Alex. I'm Angie and I will be your nurse for the day. I need to check your vitals and then I'll show you around."

She wrapped the sphygmomanometer around his bicep. While that took his blood pressure, the nurse took his temperature. Both were normal.

"Alright. Welcome to Baptist. This will be your room for the duration of your stay. We expect it to be clean. There is a camera in here so we can keep an eye on you."

Alex noticed the small, circular camera on the ceiling and pulled a face. Great, these people were going to watch him in his sleep.

Nurse Angie kept talking and talking about rules and other stupid shit. No weapons, electronics, or anything else remotely fun were allowed. Clothes with rips, show cleavage, or have inappropriate content cannot be worn. Bathrooms, which were connected to the rooms, must be locked and patients had to ask for them to be opened.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Alex tuned out after a while and stared at the dirty floor. This was going to suck. Alex wasn't crazy! He didn't belong here! He needed to get out of there quick.

Nurse Angie snapped him back into reality by handing him a brightly colored notebook.

"This is our handbook. If you are unsure about anything I tell you, you can find the answers in here. Now-"

The door opened and another nurse walked in with a black duffle bag. She was a tiny old lady with a huge smile. "Hello, Alexander. I'm nurse Haxton." She held up the bag. "Your parents dropped off some personal belongings. Isn't that nice?"

Yeah, lucky me. Alex thought with an eye roll. His parents forced him to go into a fucking mental hospital but had the decency to drop off his toothbrush and clean underwear. At least he could get out of this ugly orange jumpsuit.

Nurse Angie unlocked the bathroom so Alex could change. His parents packed him five pairs of jeans, two basketball shorts, ten shirts, a couple sweatpants, a few pairs of boxers and some undershirts, and a hoodie.

Alex decided on a pair of blue jeans and his Limp Bizkit shirt. After he was dressed, nurse Angie led him out to show him the ward. He was passed out when they brought him through the first time.

"Ok, every morning we wake you up at nine. Your bed must be made before you leave the room. At 9:30 we take you down to the cafeteria for breakfast. However, this is a privilege. If you act up, we will bring your food up. After you eat, we bring you back up here and you can hang out for a bit in the day room."

The day room looked like a kindergarten class. There was a large cabinet against the wall filled with games, markers, coloring books. Four small square tables were on both sides of the room with couches in between. A TV was hung on the wall, currently turned off.

The room was painted a light blue and had a bunch of motivational posters hanging on the walls. The nurses station was located there too, only separated by a viewing window.

"At ten, you will go to recreational therapy which teaches you coping skills. At eleven, you will have group therapy. At noon, you'll have lunch. At one, you'll have music therapy."

Nurse Angie went on... And on.... And on but Alex stopped listening. He didn't care about the schedule. Alex really just wanted to meet the other kids. He was anxious to know who he was going to have to spend the next however long he has to stay here with. It was fifteen until eleven now so they must be in recreational therapy.

After the nurse finally shut up, Alex thought he would be able to join the others. Nope. He was taken down to some lab for psychological tests. It was stupid and pointless. He's heard all these questions before from the doctor at the police station. They asked him questions like "What's your home life like?" Or "How are you sleeping?" At one point they even asked him if he's ever heard voices. Did they think he was some skitzo?

He wasn't crazy! How many times did he have to say it?

"It's standard." The lady assured him. "We ask everyone."

It took forever but Alex was finally done. The shrink led him back to the day room to the supervision of nurse Angie.

"Everyone is in group therapy." Nurse Angie said. "You can go ahead and join them."

They walked down the halls of the ward opposite of the bedrooms. She stopped in front of a door covered him badly drawn pictures. She knocked twice and opened it.

All heads turned towards them and Alex shrunk back behind the nurse. They were all staring at him. He hated being the center of attention.

"Hello, Mrs. Elizabeth. Sorry for the interruption but can Alex jump in?"

A tall, skinny blonde woman stood up. She looked pretty young; maybe early 30's? She reminded Alex of his lawyer and for that reason, he instantly took a disliking to her.

"Of course. Take a seat." She spoke with a slight lisp.

Nurse Angie nudged Alex in and closed the door. All eyes were on him as he crossed the room to take the only available seat at the head of the table, in between Mrs. Elizabeth and some brunette girl.

"Before we continue, how about we all introduce ourselves and share something we like to do? I'll start. I'm Mrs. Elizabeth and I... Like to knit." She looked at the curly headed boy beside her.

"I'm Zack and I like to skateboard."

The girl next to Zack, who had long brown hair with purple streaks in it, spoke next. "I'm Megan and I like to sing."

"I'm Cam and I run track." A boy with short dirty blonde hair said.

"I'm Rian and I play in the marching band." A guy with a buzzed head and super white teeth said.

The guy next to him grinned and waved his hand in the air. He had black hair with a blonde fringe. His nose was a little too bit for his face. He was kinda cute though.

Alex had known he was gay ever since he was thirteen. He didn't have a big coming out story or whatever. He just realized he had a crush on Travis Beaks in his math class and that was that.

His family didn't care. They were completely fine with it. He ended up dating Travis for a couple months but then he broke up with Alex for another guy. It sucked but whatever.

"Hi, my name is Jack and I'm an addict." A couple of kids laughed, and even Mrs. Elizabeth chuckled a bit. "Nah, uh- something I like to do... I can play guitar."

Two skinny, bitchy looking blonde girls introduced themselves as Jackie and Hannah and they both liked shopping.

Now it was Alex's turn. Everyone turned to stare at him expectantly. His pulse quickened and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Uh, I'm Alex." He said so quietly it was almost a whisper. Alex wasn't normally shy but for some reason he felt self-conscious.

"Welcome, Alex. Tell us something about yourself. Any special talents? Hobbies?"

"I write." He mumbled, staring down at the table. Thankfully, the conversation moved on.

"Alright, well let's get back to the discussion." She gestured to a chalk board behind her where the words "substance abuse" was scribbled in cursive. "I'm sure you all know that individuals with depression or other mental illnesses are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol, usually becoming dependent. Who knows what it means to be dependent on drugs or alcohol?"

"It means you're addicted." Megan said.

"Right." Mrs. Elizabeth wrote "Addicted" on the board. "The more you do it, the more you need. Say if you're drinking vodka everyday. After a while it'll take more and more alcohol to get you drunk."

Alex sighed and sat back in his chair. He's been given this same talk in health class many times before. Alex admits he enjoyed drinking from time to time but he doesn't need people telling him how bad it is for him. He already knows and that's exactly why he does it.

What time was it? Alex was ready for lunch. He looked up to check the clock and his eyes were met by a pair of brown ones. Jack. They stayed fixated on each other for a moment and then Alex looked away.

Was Jack staring at him? Maybe he was looking around too and they just happened to gaze at each other at the same time. Alex didn't look up for the rest of group.

They got out at a Little before twelve so they had a few minutes to waste until lunch. A bunch of the others sat down at the tables to continue a game of Monopoly while Alex sat down on the couch.

He never was a social person. He was used to being alone. It was normal. Sure he had friends but only a select few. He wasn't good at making friends. Most people found him hard to deal with.

When a body plopped down beside him, Alex almost jumped. It was that girl Megan.

"Hi." She said, smiling at him. "You looked like you could use some company." Alex shrugged indifferently. He was fine by himself. "So what are you in for?"

Alex froze up. He thought back to that night of the accident.

His hands clutched the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Everything was a blur as he sped down the road. He took one last sip of his drink and tossed the bottle out the window. He rolled his neck and pressed down on the accelerator. It was so dark and Alex didn't have his head lights on. A car honked but he paid no mind. He just drove faster and faster and turned up the radio.

"I never thought I'd die alone! I laughed the louder, who'd of known?" He screamed the words, feeling his heart beat quicken.

Tom loved this song.

Out of no where, Alex swerved onto the sidewalk, heading straight towards the old brick bank. He collided head on.

"I understand if you don't want to share." Megan said. Alex shook the head to get the images out of his mind. "Well you wanna know why I'm here?" She didn't wait for an answer. "My mom and I were fighting and she pulled my hair so I hit her over the head with an iPad."

Alex gave her a funny look, raising an eyebrow. "An iPad?" He questioned.

"It was the only thing I had. I don't have anger issues though, I swear." She laughed and brushed the hair from her eyes.

Alex smiled half-heartedly. He didn't know what to say. Megan seemed nice but Alex couldn't hold a conversation to save his life. Luckily Megan did.

"Ok, so you know Zack? He's here because he sent his step-dad to the hospital. Apparently he came home late and his step-dad hit him so Zack beat the crap outta him. Now Rian over there is like super addicted to Oxy. He accidentally overdosed and was brought here. Hannah and Jackie are anorexic. Cam has severe depression. And Jack... Well he tried to commit suicide."

That surprised Alex. Jack seemed so happy. Right now he was laughing hysterically at something Zack said. How could someone so energetic be suicidal?

"Alright, everyone." A big black man who name, as Alex later learned, was Mr. Anthony said. "Line up for lunch."

"Finally!" Jack exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. Alex followed everyone to the large doors at the end of the hall. Every door that lead out of the unit was locked and had to be scanned by a nurses ID to be opened. The hospital was super paranoid about patients escaping.

As they were waiting for Mr. Anthony, Jack came up to Alex. "Hey." He said.

"Hi." Alex murmured back.

"You're like really quiet. Why are you here?"

"Dude, you can't just ask him that." Rian said, shaking his head at Jack. "He doesn't have to say if he doesn't want to."

"I was just asking." Jack replied in a whiny voice and turned to Alex, poking him in the side repeatedly. "So what is it? Hear voices? Drugs? Cutting?"

"Jack!" Mr. Anthony snapped. Alex sighed in relief. Saved by the fat black man. "You know the rules. No touching."

"Yeah, yeah." Jack muttered but was still smiling.

Mr. Anthony scanned his ID and the door opened. Jack practically ran Megan over as he rushed to press the elevator button.

"Calm down, Barakat or you'll be eating up here for a week." Mr. Anthony scolded. The doors opened and they all piled in.

"So it's against the rules to be happy?" Jack asked. Mr. Anthony didn't bother to respond.

They descended to the fifth floor where the "Beach Cafe" was located. They only called it that because there was a mural of the ocean inside.

They had to pass through a million more doors before they arrived. Is place as serious about security. The place looked like his high school cafeteria except for all the old people sitting around.

Jack was first, of course, to get his food. Alex was last. He got his trey and ordered a burger with fries. Similar to his high school, everyone split off into their own little clicks.

Jackie and Hannah were at one table, only a single piece of fruit on their treys. Megan and Cam were at the next table, and Jack, Rian, and Zack were at the last.

"You can sit here, Alex." Megan said, pulling out the empty seat at her table. Alex, having no other choice really, sat. Megan and Cam made small talk while Alex remained silent.

It had only been here a couple hours but Alex was already ready to leave. He shouldn't have even been sent here in the first place. He should have fought harder to be sent to prison instead...

Alex felt eyes on him and instinctively turned to look. It was Jack again. Instead of looking away like Alex thought he'd do, Jack smiled and waved. Alex quickly turned back around.

Ok, he was sure Jack was staring at him that time. What the hell? He'd only talked to Jack once but he already didn't like him. He was rude and obnoxious and Alex could tell they see not going to get along.

"Penny for your thought?" Megan asked. Alex shook his head and shoved a fry in his mouth. "Don't mind Jack. He's creepy to all newbies. When I came in, he kept asking to feel my hair."

"How long has he been here?" Alex found himself asking.

"No one knows. He won't tell. All I know is this isn't his first time here."

"Do you know why he..." Alex trailed off.

"He won't tell us that either."

Well isn't he just shrouded in secrecy. Alex thought, wiping his mouth.

After lunch, they hung out in the day room for about a half hour. Alex played a game of go fish with Megan and Cam. Cam won every single match. He probably cheated.

At one, they were called into music therapy. Alex will admit he was a little excited about it. He loved music. In fact, he often turned to music as an outlet for his frustration. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

The music room was loaded with different kinds of instruments. Unfortunately for Alex, they were all lame. The triangle, bongos, xylophone, gong, maracas...it looked like an elementary school music class. Well there goes Alex's one chance of liking it here.

The chair were sat in a circle, like most rooms in this damn place. Alex sat between Cam and that dude Rian. The counselor, a young looking white dude, sat in the only available seat and smiled. His front tooth was chipped.

"I see we have a new member. What's your name?"

It took Alex a moment to realize the man was talking to him. He was too fixated on the tooth. "Oh, I'm Alex."

"Hi, Alex. I'm Mr. Lauzon. Welcome to music therapy." Alex nodded and went back to staring at the tooth. "Ok, class. We've recently been talking about how music can relieve stress but today I want to try something different. I want is to convey an emotion that each one of you is feeling. Alex, since you're new why don't you start? How are you today?"

I was locked up in a fucking nut house. I'm fucking pissed. Alex wanted to say but bit his tongue. He settled on a shrug.

"Oh, come on, Alex. You have to be experiencing some kind of emotion. How do you feel about coming here?"

"How do you think I feel?" Alex snapped, sitting up in his chair. Mr. Lauzon remained calm.

"I think you feel angry." He said quietly. "That's a pretty strong emotion." Alex said nothing. Mr. Lauzon clapped once and addressed the group. "Alright, Alex. Since you're starting, I'll let you assign the instruments."

Alex stared at him through his bangs and let out a sigh. He picked up a random instrument, which happened to be a sliding whistle, and handed it to Cam. He gave Megan the gong, Hannah the maracas, Jackie the xylophone, Zack the bongs, Jack the triangle, and just as he was about to pass Rian the cow bell, Jack spoke up.

"The fricken' triangle, dude? Really? How am I supposed to jam out on this?"

Before Alex could spit out his nasty rebuttal, Mr. Lauzon jumped in. "Jack, you'll have a chance to change in a moment. But it's Alex's turn so respect his decision. Ok, now I want you all to play angrily. We want to convey the feeling in our music. Ready? In three... Two..."

Everyone started banging on their instruments. It sounded horrible and had no structure whatsoever. . Jack was the worst. He beat the triangle furiously, as if he just wanted to irritate Alex.

He had this goofy grin on his face that just pissed Alex off to no ends. It was kinda attractive. Alex wasn't going to lie and say Jack wasn't cute. He was, but he was just so annoying. There was just something about him that pushed Alex's buttons.

A short time later, Mr. Lauzon made them stop. Alex was thankful. He was starting to get a headache.

"Alright, great job guys. Now how did this activity made you feel? Anyone? Jack?"

"It was kinda fun I guess." Jack said with an indifferent shrug.

"Megan?"

"It was ok"

"Alex?" Everyone looked at him expectantly except for Jack who was playing with his fingers. "What did you think if this exercise?"

"I thought it was stupid and pointless and fucking annoying."

Mr. Lauzon gave him a stern look. "Watch the language. Now why so you feel this way?"

"Because it was stupid!" Alex said exasperatedly.

"How?"

"Stop trying to analyze me!" Alex stood up to leave but a strong hand was placed on his shoulder. It was Mr. Anthony. Alex hasn't realized he was in here.

"Do you need to be sent to your room?" He asked. Alex shook his head and sat down, defeated.

After Alex's outburst, Mr. Lauzon continued. This time he chose Jack who apparently felt "Just dandy, sir!" Jack assigned the instruments and of course Alex got the triangle. The smirk Jack wore when he handed it to Alex made him want to slap it right off his pretty face. Alex didn't understand how someone so good looking could be so irritating.

They played for about thirty seconds and then moved on to the next person. By the end of the class, Alex played seven different instruments for happy, tired, and bored.

At 1:30 they were released to the day room. Mr. Anthony pulled Alex aside and warned him abut his behavior. He even forced Alex to apologize to Mr. Lauzon for being disrespectful. What the fuck ever.

Alex was sulking on the couch, pissed off about this whole fucked up situation.Megan and Cam knew he didn't want to be bothered so they left him alone. Evidently though, Jack didn't get the message. He plopped down next to Alex, smiling happily. God was this kid ever not happy?

"Hi." Jack said.

"What do you want?" Alex muttered. Jack's smile didn't falter.

"Want to know a secret?"

"No."

"I'm going to tell you anyways." Jack looked around to make sure no one was looking and leaned in closer to Alex so their noses were almost touching. Did this guy not understand the concept of personal space? "If you want to get out of here," Jack spoke in a soft voice. "You gotta tell them what they want to hear. Just grin like an idiot and cooperate in group and they'll think you're 'healed'" He used finger quotes. "Trust me, Lex. I've been here quite a while and I know what these people want."

Lex? Did Jack think they were on a nickname basis? Alex scooted away from Jack and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Then why are you still here?" He countered.

Jack laughed like he'd just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"I'm special."