Therapy

A few painfully boring days later, Jack returned. Thursday morning, Alex walked into the day room to see Jack sitting on the couch. Alex had to do a double take. It'd been five days since Jack's freak out and he was finally back.

Rian and Zack had been bombarding the nurses with questions about Jack to the point where they were told the next person who asks will get twelve hours room time. Questions stopped but the speculations didn't.

"Maybe he was put in one of those patted rooms." Rian said. "He's probably wrapped in a straight jacket."

"Maybe he was transferred to another hospital." Alex chimed in.

On Monday, both Jackie and Hannah were released. Figures they'd be let out on the same day. Alex can't say he was sad to see them go.

That night during dinner they got a new guy named Gerard. He looked like your stereotypical emo kid. Long black hair covering his face, smeared eye makeup, and black on black clothes. Oh, and both of his arms were bandages. He must have slit his wrists which was probably why he was here. He was nice though.

When Alex first saw Gerard, he expected him to have one of those typical "My life is worse than yours so feel sorry for me," or "I'm so uncool I'm cool," attitudes that most "emo" kids had. However he was actually very friendly and even a bit shy. Funny enough, him and Zack went to the same school.

"Everyone was wondering where you went." Gerard told him. Zack's friends knew about him beating the shit out of his step dad but no one knew he was here. "There's rumors going around about you from you getting shipped to live with a relative, to you going to prison."

Zack laughed. "God, I hope everyone believes the prison one. It'll make going back to school so much more exciting."

The next day they got another new kid, a fifteen year old girl named Cassadee. She was beautiful, with long wavy hair, petite frame, and a loud, contagious laugh. Rian took an interest in her.

Since Jack's been gone, Alex has been hanging out with Zack and Rian more. Because they were friends with Jack, Alex didn't want to give them a chance but he was glad he did. They were pretty cool. Alex was pleased to know they liked the same type of music. Pop punk, reggae, and rap metal.

Even though Alex was branching out, he made sure to maintain his friendship with Ryan. Ryan had come out of his shell those couple days. Kinda. He could know have a conversation with Alex without having a panic attack. He still stuttered and couldn't make eye contact but he had made progress. Baby steps.

Things were looking up. If it could just stay like this, Alex might be able to make it through with what's left of his sanity. But when he saw Jack on the couch, all Alex's hope of that were gone.

"Jack!" Zack exclaimed as he entered the room. "You're here, man!" Jack grinned and stood up. "Dude, I was starting to think you weren't coming back."

"You can't get rid of me at easily."

"So where were-"

"What did I miss when I was gone?" Jack cut in quickly.

"Um, let's see. Those anorexic bitches left and we got two new kids. Gerard, who goes to my school, and this chick Cassadee."

"Did someone mention my name?" Cassadee skipped over, plopping down next to Ryan. "Oh, hi. You must be Jack." He looked over her shoulder at Rian who was coming over. "You're right. He does have skunk hair."

The rest of the morning went by as usual. Literally. Jack acted like nothing ever happened. Jack was just as loud and annoying as he was before. He hasn't talked about his break down and no one had the balls to ask.

For the past few days, Alex and Ryan sat with everyone else when they ate but with Jack back, Alex sat at his old table. That suited Ryan fine.

"Why are you guys sitting here?" Cassadee asked, standing beside Alex with her trey.

"Jack and I don't have the best track record." Alex said, opening his milk carton.

"Really? He seems so nice."

"A little too nice."

"Oh." Cassadee started cutting her waffles. "Ryan, all you have is a banana. Are you sure you don't want anything else?"

Ryan stiffened. "N-not hungry."

"Ryan, you're skin and bones. You need to eat."

Alex realized she was right. Ryan was scary thin. Alex figured he just had a fast metabolism but now that he thought about it, Ryan hardly ate at all.

"Ryan, why don't you eat?" Cassadee asked, pouring more syrup on her waffles.

Ryan's breathing got heavier and his eyes teared up. Shit, he was about to have another panic attack.

"Cassadee." Alex warned. She looked confused until Alex gestured to Ryan who was almost hyperventilating.

"Oh, God, Ryan. Sweetie, I'm sorry. I won't ask any more questions." She reached over to touch his hand but stopped herself. Ryan was shaking again. Alex stood up.

"Ryan, come with me." He said softly. Ryan followed without question. Alex led him over to an isolated corner, away from everyone else to calm down. He used to have panic attacks a lot and he knew that the best thing was to get away from people.

"Just breathe, Ryan. You're ok." Alex said.

Whenever he would have an attack, it was always Tom who would calm him down. One time when Alex was twelve, his first year of middle school, he was studying for his exams. It was the fist time he'd taken exams and he had no idea how to study. Tom found Alex in his room pulling at his hair.

"What's wrong, bro?" Tom asked.

"Exams! I'm freaking out. I have them all week. If I don't pass them, I'll fail the class, get held back, be forced to drop out of school and-"

"Alex!" Tom exclaimed with a chuckle. "Calm down."

Alex glared at his brother. This was not a laughing matter. "I can't. Not only do I have these stupid exams, I have football practice, and my campaign for class president to worry about. And to top it all of there's a dance on Friday and I have no date!"

"Alex, you're in middle school. You can't worry about every single thing.." Tom said. "Don't let yourself get in over your head."

"Ryan! Alex!" Ryan cowered against the wall at the shrill voice. Alex came back into reality. Nurse Angie marched over. "What do you two think you-"

"Shh!" Alex shushed, swatting his hands up and down. She gave him an incredulous look.

"Excuse me?" Nurse Angie took in Ryan's timid, trembling form and her eyes softened. "Oh. What's wrong, sweetie?"

"He doesn't really want to talk right now." Alex said, rubbing Ryan's back soothingly. Like Tom used to do. Alex knew he could get in a lot of trouble for touching Ryan in front of a nurse but she didn't say anything about it.

"Ryan, do you want one of your pills?" Ryan made a weird noise that sounded like a 'Mhm.' She gently grabbed his arm but he recoiled.

"Ryan, go on." Alex said. Ryan didn't move.

"Will y-you c-c-come?" Ryan asked. Alex looked to Nurse Angie for permission. She sighed loudly.

"Let's go."

Everyone watched in silence as the three crossed the room towards the exit. Everyone except for Jack. He continued chomping on his ham and cheese biscuit contently.

Back in the wards, Ryan was given his medication and him and Alex sat on the couch in the day room. The nurses tried to force Ryan into his room but wouldn't allow Alex. Ryan begged Alex not to leave so Alex convinced the nurses to let them to sit in the day room.

They took his blood pressure to find it was a bit higher than normal but not at a dangerous level. Ryan was told to work on his breathing and try to relax. Alex did his best to help calm Ryan down. The nurses turned the other cheek so he could rub Ryan's back. He absently began to sing, just like Tom used to do for him.

Ryan's body slowly relaxed and he leaned his head on Alex's shoulder. His cries turned into whimpers, and soon his whimpers turned to sniffles.

"B-Bren-" Ryan suddenly said.

"Bren?" Alex questioned. Ryan shot up, shaking his head.

"No."

"Ryan, who's that?" Alex took his hand.

"Bre-Brendon. He u-used to sing... To m-me when my d-dad-"

"Hey! Why does Alex get to touch Ryan?" An obnoxious voice called. Ryan practically jumped through the roof. The group was back from breakfast and piled into the day room.

"Shut up, Jack." Alex snapped the same time Mr. Anthony said "Be quiet." Mr. Anthony turned his attention to Alex. "I'll handle it, Alex." Jack sat on the couch adjacent to them, not saying another word.

"Alex, I'm tired." Ryan said. The medication they gave him was also an antihistamine so it made him drowsy. Nurse Haxton, the elderly nurse, overheard and escorted Ryan to his room.

Cassadee took the place Ryan vacated. "So." She said, smiling suggestively. "You and Ryan?" Alex was momentarily confused but then he realized...

"Oh, no. There is nothing going on between us."

"Sure." Cassadee giggled.

"Wait," Zack said. "You're gay?"

Alex gave him a look. "Yeah, I am. Problem?"

Zack held his hands up, palms out, in a defensive manner. "Whoa, man. Naw, I got no problem with it."

"I don't either, just for the record." Rian chimed in.

"I'm bisexual." Gerard said.

"And I love the gays." Cassadee said.

All eyes turned to Jack who was... Counting his hair? Ok then. Jack, without looking up, scoffed.

"Do you know if Ryan is gay?" Cassadee asked. "Because you two would be so cute together."

"I don't know. But either way, it would never work. Too much insanity in one relationship."

Ryan didn't rejoin the group until supper time. Him, Alex, and Cassadee all sat together at the same table as that morning. This time Cassadee made sure to watch what she said.

Later during family therapy, Alex and Jack were left alone watching some cartoon Alex never heard of. Jack was moving his lips silently. For a brief moment, Alex thought Jack was talking to himself but then realized he was just reciting the lines of the show.

The next few days went by quickly. Ryan didn't have any more attacks. Cassadee wouldn't quit singing, and Rian kept making googly eyes at her. Zack got twelve hours room time for throwing his pottery vase when he messed up. Gerard revealed he was an amazing artist. And Jack... Was still Jack.

He never bothered Alex though, which both relieved and confused him. He used to not be able to get Jack to leave him alone and now Jack didn't even so much as look at Alex. Call him crazy (ha!) but he kind of, in a way, missed it. Alex was glad Jack wasn't all up in his face anymore but now Jack was straight up ignoring him. Alex didn't like being ignored.

Alex figure if he wanted to survive the hospital, he should try and get along with everyone, including Jack.

He wanted to get to know Jack. He was an interesting character, Jack Barakat. Alex never met a schizophrenic before and Alex found it fascinating. Him and Jack met under unfortunate circumstances. Alex was angry about being here and unwilling to let himself make friends. Since the two got off on the wrong foot, Alex told himself he hated Jack so he never gave him a real chance.

Alex thought he'd be jumping for joy he day Jack left him alone, but he really felt a little let down. Guess it's true when they say "You want what you can't have" Well Alex wanted to befriend Jack, and he was going to do just that.