Viva La Gloria II: 21st Century Breakdown

It was noon. The very next day and I was still going strong. Well I guess it was easier to lie to myself then tell myself the truth. Because the truth was, I was beat. I was exhausted and sore all over. My eyes stung from all the damn salty tears. Which made it harder to keep my eyes open and stay alert. When I wanted to curl up  in a ball and sulk. 

I had to remind myself multiple times that I was strong. And that I'd have to remain that way. I can't break down before I even get there.
I focused on the road and turned on the radio loud and the song I recognized instantly, it was Everlong by Foo Fighters.

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong
Tonight
I throw myself into
And out of the red
Out of her head she sang

Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me
Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head
Out of her head she sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when she sang

Breathe out
So I can breathe you in
Hold you in
And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head
Out of my head I sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when she sang

It matched my situation quite well if I do say so myself. I sang along, another way to keep my sleep deprived body awake longer. I couldn't afford sleep. Not yet. And with my determinations, I will most likely not sleep until I cross the California border. 
I blinked rapidly to remain awake.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

The next day I crossed the border with bloodshot eyes, stinging with the extra tears I'd shed over the past twenty-four hours. I blinked a few times to be sure the city of Los Angeles was really there. Instead of my typical western surroundings I was used to seeing in Torrington.

I got excited right away and my exhaustion disappeared into thin air. I went in search of a hotel though. As much as I wanted to familiarize myself with the surrounding cityscape, I needed sleep more. The blunt seventy-eight hours I'd gone without it was well over enough.

I found a nice hotel close to the venue that Billie had mentioned earlier that week. I guess I should have taken that as a warning they'd be leaving soon enough.  I lugged my two duffle bags inside the Libby and signed up for my room key. I was tired so I secretly leaned against the front desk.

The clerk at the front desk was a woman. Around early twenties with cropped short black hair. Bronze eyes, and a clear complexion. She smiled welcomingly as I stood there signing and paying for my room.

“You're Gloria aren't you?” she grinned without looking down to check my signature for the proof. 

I sighed tiredly “Yep.”

She beamed. Oh crap here we go... “Oh God that's awesome! No one was expecting all that to go down in Austen.”

I smiled softly and nodded “I s'pose not... Well it's been a 78 hour drive, I'm going to sleep.” 

She laughed and nodded, dangling my room key between her fingers over the desk top with her huge smile still in place. 

“Oh! I'm Minnie by the way.” she held out her hand and I smiled warily, reaching out to shake her hand “Gloria.” I replied formally. 

She laughed “Hey, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm around.  We could hang.”

I nodded “Yeah okay, I'll be awake sometime around eight tonight.” I said glancing up at the big clock above the desk. It was eight AM. Yay, twelve hours of sweet, sweet sleep.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

I woke up on my back, feeling just as much like I'd laid there four six hours staring up at the ceiling rather than spending it napping. Problem was, that I had slept. And I was still so exhausted, it was hard to tell if it had even made a difference. I brushed my hair off my forehead and continued to lay there, picking out shapes in the ceiling. I was bored, tired. And giddy. Which were all terrible thugs to have together when you want to sleep. I'd closed my eyes every now and again, but wasn't throughly convinced it was actually sleep. Mostly resting the eyes, because I couldn't sleep when the memories and my favorite flashbacks played behind my closed lids. Encouraging me I could go a little longer without rest. I wished now that I hadn't been so easily persuaded.

I sat up finally, sore all over from the past couple of days worth of activities. When really it was more like a bunch of fast paced, determined things I did. 

I saw my bags on the low dresser below the mirror. They contained a clean set of clothing that smelled like home with the sweet smite of apple blossoms. That was obviously enough to encourage me to get up off the bed. The comforter wrapped around my ankle tripped me a little bit, but I recovered, yanked the zipper Across the bag and dug around for a clean shirt and my dear leather jeans. I was happy with that of course, I skipped to the shower and washed my hair, the water washing down the drain was dark brown with all the dust I'd collected in my hair in the long, hoodless drive here.

I stepped out of the steamy bathroom, refreshed and ready to go again. I brushed my hair, awkwardly yanking a brush through the tangles. And leaving my hair down instead of tying it back like I usually do. 
I put on sandals and decided to go seeking out dinner. I jammed a couple twenties from my purse into my back pocket and grabbed my room key, phone, and I ventured out into the long quiet hall.

The typical floral carpet and low lights, long, confusing hallways that you would get lost in. The regular old layout or a hotel. I was genuinely sure that every hotel had the same lay out. 

I was almost disappointed when I found the lobby under five minutes, I'd really been expecting more of a challenge. I saw Minnie, across the lobby, hanging up her uniform on a hook and walking out from behind the desk in simple converse, jeans and tank top. 

“Oh, hey, Gloria.” she greeted me with surprise when I approached her. I think she was expecting me to hibernate in my room for twenty/four hours before showing my face again. 

“Hi.”

“Sleep well?” she asked. Her customary professionalism for hotel management glowing through her words naturally. 

I nodded, making a mental note that I was being far quieter than I ever had. In all of my life. It was unusual for me, I usually always had some smartass comment to make. But I was silent and had run out if words. I smiled to make up for my silence.

“God, you look starving. Here, head over to the hotel restaurant and hang out there for a minute, I'll meet toy there, I just got to change from my icky uniform.” she grinned, gesturing to tue olive colored slacks and blazer she wore along with a hat. Printed  with the hotel's emblem. 

I nodded and thanked her quietly and headed towards the huge dining room at the west opening, a huge ornate corridor. Hiding inside was the huge chandeliers, round tables with candles flickering nearly lifeless on them. I avoided all the tables in the middle of the room that would draw attention to me. I walked right instead to a little table, more secluded behind a pillar rounded with trellises of fake plants and ivy. 

Ducking my head as I pulled out my seat and sat down. 

I looked around myself. Taking in my surroundings nervously and warily. 

A waiter walked to my table, a spark of recognition flashed in his tawny eyes as he told me his name, the specials and offered to get me a drink. I stuttered and probably blinked too much in my response. I probably scarf him away because he seemed pretty bound to get moving.

I looked down, revolving my phone in my hands slowly. Deciding if it would be beneficial to look at my messages and Facebook to see how many people are bitching me out for leaving and ditching Torrington for 'some guy'...

Finally I opened it up, 15 missed calls, 6 messages, 24 texts.

I opened the texts first.

Cynthia wrote me one, Brook two, Adele one and Myriah two.

I looked at Cynthia's first.

             To: Gloria
       From: Cynthia

‘Hey, u left town? U should have woke me up, we could have talked 1st’

The next two were from Brook.
   
            To: Gloria
          From: Brook

‘Hey girl I support you in your decision. You've always been very determined. We r here 4 u.’

The next one...

‘You doin ok?’

Then there was Adele's.

         To: Gloria
       From: Adele

‘Good luck sweetie, I hope you find him. PS, u c Tré, tell him I miss him haha, luv u’

I looked up as Minnie sat down across from me with a grain and I shoved my phone into my pocket. 

“Hey.” I greeted. As cheerfully as possible.

She laughed and sat down. 

“You actually are showing a little emotion now, a little life in the eyes, and ready to take o the world again, are we?”

I laughed “Yep, I guess so.”

“Ok, so I'm pretty sure I know what brings you to Cali, but why? Why again?” she was actually curious, which I guess gave me enough energy to launch myself into the story.

“Well, I'm not really sure what we were. A fling? Pre-crush, something like that. He was so damned set on the possibility that he was simply rebounding from his divorce with Adrienne.” I took a deep breath and paused dramatically “But I knew it wasn't. Couldn't be, we are like... Like this,” I twisted my fingers together to demonstrate the closeness between us. 

Close enough to be siblings, crushing on each other enough to be lovers. And so protective of each other to be best friends. That's what love is all about right? That little glittering glimpse of that person. That sends the butterflies I've never felt before battering at the walls of my stomach making me sick with the hopeless feeling. That I was falling, so horrible too. For the most unavailable person alive. 

Minnie nodded “I get it, my boyfriend was like that at first to me. But sweetie, remember this, it will always become something more if you let it.”

And her words sent a shimmer of hope down my spine. Hope for something so utterly unbelievable that I was still seeing it out. 

We ordered dinner and sat there, shooting the shit and just getting to know each other better. She treated me like I was some kind of celebrity or something like that. Yet she treated me like I was a normal person. 

It was getting late and I stood up. Stretching.

“Here.” she said, handing me a piece of paper “If anything goes wrong in your plan and you need help, a ride or whatever, call me, 'cause I'm around.”

I nodded “Thanks.”

“Have a good night.” she called after me as I retreated to my room.

“You too.” I called back.