Bryn and Ken's Excellent Adventure

The sun stood, proudly, in the afternoon sky as the grove of trees known as the Trollshaws seemed undisturbed as most of the beings that lived amongst the woodland between the Mitheithel and Bruinen rivers went about every day life. But there was one thing that stood out like a sore thumb in the vast expanse of greenery, and that was a bed. Not the type of bed one would normally see around these parts. It was not a bed fashioned by a carpenter with broad wooden beams and pegs. It did not have a mattress filled with dusty, yellow straw or even the itchy wool shorn from sheep. No, this bed was rather extremely out of the ordinary for the frame was metal and the mattress was made of cotton, coils, and foam. Atop this queer bed was a nest of blankets and pillows, but a closer look revealed that there were also a pair of bodies that laid haphazardly tangled up within the mass of fabric. Whoever these two were they were strangers to the unfamiliar world around them and seemed none the wiser of their newfound surroundings.

A bird cawed from the top of a nearby pine tree causing one of the bodies to stir and from underneath a thick, red blanket a head of brown hair appeared. Blue eyes stilled riddled with sleep peaked up at the canopy of leaves. Blinking, rapidly in a desperate attempt to adjust to the daylight flooded them. Once the eyes could see past the glare of the afternoon sun, the brunette sat up and looked around mouth agape and eyes wide.

“What the fuck?” She whispered into the relative quiet of the wood before rubbing her eyes with hope that she was still in a dream. When that didn’t change anything she pinched her side and flinched. “Oh fuck.” She turned every way she could without getting off the bed mouth still hanging open. Without looking away from the trees that surrounded them, she reached over and smacked the form to her right. Another girl sprang into a sitting position revealing her mass of unruly blonde hair.

“The Hell?” The hiss in her voice was groggy with sleep. But as the blonde opened her green eyes and took a better look at her surroundings, she gasped and looked to her companion, “Uh, how drunk did we get last night?”

“Definitely not drunk enough to move my bed into the woods, I don’t even live near a tree. Let alone a freaking forest.” The brunette gawked.

“Just curious.” The blonde shrugged before closing her eyes, collapsing back into the mattress and rolling onto her side.

“You can’t seriously be going back to sleep.” The brunette said, her voice cracking when she reached an octave that is obviously not in her range. “We are in the middle of fucking nowhere!”

“Just shut up, Kenny, we’re obviously just dreaming. Go back to sleep we’ll wake up and we’ll be back in your room.” The blonde suggested, waving her friend off as she curled up into a tight, little ball.

“Well Bryn, if we’re dreaming then how are we having the same dream?” Kenny pointed out and her friend gave a noncommittal shrug. With a groan of indignation Kenny pushed Bryn out of the bed and onto the forest floor. After a moment of struggling to untangle herself from her blanket, Bryn’s red, angry face popped up over the side of the bed. There was a leaf stuck in her hair and dirt splattered upon her cheek and forehead.

Standing up, Bryn brushed off her pants with a displeased frown pulling at her lips, “What the hell was that for? That hurt.”

“If it were a dream it wouldn’t have hurt.” Kenny pointed out to the blonde with a condescending, but matter-of-fact tone in her voice.

“Well if it isn’t a dream how the hell did we get here?” Bryn demanded with a hiss.

“Ooo maybe while drinking last night we stumbled upon an interdimensional portal that transported us to a different world.” Kenny said, excitedly as she crawled into a kneeling position on the bed. Bryn rolled her eyes and gestured to the foresaid piece of furniture and inquired, skeptically, “With your bed, we fell in a portal with your bed?”

“Maybe portals act like ghosts or demons, that shit follows you home.” Kenny said, seriously.

“Sure it does.” It was Bryn’s turn to be condescending as she turned away and began to comb throw the undergrowth, “Okay, we need to find my phone so we can figure out where we are.”

“Phones won’t work in an alternate dimension.” Kenny said. “Besides you plugged your phone in last night. If only the bed came with us there’s no way either of our phones would have made the trip through.” The brunette, finally, climbed off the bed and began to walk around.

“Okay, so the phones weren’t on the bed, that doesn’t mean that we went through a portal. Your stupid roommates probably thought this was a hilarious prank and they drove us out here and left us.” Bryn said, as she began to pace back and forth trying to figure out how the pair had gotten into this predicament.

“Wrong-o, I live with a gay black man and druggie midget, neither of which are strong enough or smart enough to pull this off without leaving any evidence.”

Bryn placed her hands upon her lips and frowned even more, “Whatever. Let’s just try to find some form of civilization. Maybe someone will have a phone we can use.”

“Not if we’re in an-” Kenny began but was almost instantly cut off by her friend.

“Shut up Kendall.” Bryn threw back over her shoulder as she started to walk away.

“Yo Brynnie, don’t you think we should take the pillows and blankets?” Kenny asked as she started folding the sheets and blankets up.

She turned around and gave her friend a confused look, “Uh- Why?”

“Well, we are lost. And by walking in one direction we could either get closer or farther from this civilization that you speak of, and if night comes I’m not going to be lying on the cold hard ground. I’m not Taylor Swift.” Kenny pointed out. Bryn opened her mouth to reply but shut it, much like a fish gasping out of water before walking back over to the bed help. After about twenty minutes they managed to make a makeshift backpack out of the fitted sheet and hair ties they had on their wrists. They put the blankets in the bag and carried the pillows and set off.

After walking for about ten minutes in silence, Kenny felt the urge to hammer out any details as to where they might be. So she voiced her thoughts to her friends as she jumped over a fallen limb in their path, “So let’s say it was a bad prank and we didn’t get sucked into an alternate dimension, where would we be?”

“I don’t know. The woods by 67 are the closest to your house.” Bryn stated after a moment of thought, stepping around the same limb.

“That’s like a thirty minute drive. There is no way we would have slept through that, especially if it was one of my roommates driving.” Kenny raised her eyebrow at her friends as she pointed out the facts that they both knew were true.

“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with any logical explanations.” Bryn shot a glare to her friend when she opened her mouth. “And no your ‘interdimensional portal theory’ does not count.”

“Buzz kill, I’m just trying to bring a little light to this otherwise dreary situation.” Kenny snorted before she continued to theorize their current predicament, “But for the sake of argument let’s say we did stumble into an-”

“Kendall Alice Porter, for the last fucking time, we did not fall into a fucking portal. We are still in the fucking continental United States. We are just lost and need to find a fucking phone. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. ” Bryn hissed, having grow tired of her friend’s preposterous notion that they had somehow been transported into some fantasy world or other dimension. This was real life. Climbing through a wardrobe or falling through a painting into Narnia didn’t happen. Portables into other worlds only existed in sci-fi, fantasy novels, and fan fiction.

“Jeeze, do you kiss your mother with that mouth Bryndle Fae Cassidy? What got your panties in a bunch?” Kenny asked. “And don’t use my full name, people might here you.”

Bryn didn’t comment as she gave her friend an incredulous look.

“I hope to God people hear me. I don’t want to be stranded in the middle of the-“ She muttered before she pointed through the trees at clearing on the other side, “Hey, look there’s a road.”

“Looks more like a big patch of dirt.” Kenny muttered, examining the path after they had emerged from the thick undergrowth and bushes. The pair had reached the top of a steep hill where they found, unknown to them, the East-West Road. Bryn started to carefully ease on the decline but stopped when she noticed her Kenny wasn’t following.

“Well, are we going to go down or not?” Bryn inquired, expectantly, placing her hands upon her hips.

“I don’t know what if we meet some unsavory people, like cannibalistic meth addicts or zombified bath salt eaters?” Kenny asked.

Bryn rolled her eyes at her friends and scoffed, “You cannot be serious.”

“Fine but if you get rabies from some shady zombie-like crack addict don’t come crying to me.” Kenny said, stepping forward to take her own first step down the hill.

“Whatever, dumb ass. You’ve been spending too much time with your roommates.” Bryn huffed, shuffling her feet for a better grip.

“Dumbass? No, you’re the dumb ass.” Kenny said, reaching to grab a low, hanging branch for better leverage so that she could maintain her balance.

“I’m the dumbass? You’re the one who suggested we fell into an alternate universe.” Bryn shouted letting go of the branch she was holding.

“Well, you’re the close-minded bitch who can’t think outside the box.” Kenny said, letting go of her branch as well so they both stood and faced one another.

“You’re the bitch. If I had gone home, I wouldn’t have been roped into this ridiculous prank and I would be having breakfast right now instead of walking through the woods with you.” Bryn yelled, poking Kenny in the shoulder.

“Well gee, I’m sorry I bother you with my friendship and hospitality when we were out partying.” Kenny said, sarcastically.

“Oh, please, you would have stayed in all weekend if it wasn’t for me.” Bryn said, narrowing her eyes and placing her hands on her hips.

“HA! It’s your fault! You made me go out where we got drunk and you had to crash at my place if you didn’t you’d be home. So don’t blame me.” Kenny remarked with sly grin because she knew she was correct in her assessment.

“Ugh, just, get out of my way.” Bryn said, pushing past Kenny. However the brunette was unstable on the hillside and started to tip sideways.

With a delayed reaction, Kenny reached out and grabbed Bryn’s arm pulling them both down the side of the hill with the two pillows flying out of their free hands. They tumbled, violently, down the steep hillside and frantically trying to direct their bodies around the trees that seemed to fly toward them. Kendall reached the bottom of the hill first landing just to the side of the road. When she made to stand Bryn rolled the rest of the way taking Kendall’s knees out from under her causing the two to land in a pile of tangled limbs.

“God, your legs weigh a ton.” Bryn said, squirming from underneath Kendall.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t the size of a tree insect, you could handle a little bit more weight.” Kendall said rubbing the back of her head.

“I’m petite. I was born this way.” Bryn huffed, trying to collect herself amongst the pillows and her friend’s body.

“Whatever, Lady Gaga, get your foot off my hand.” Kendall said, pulling her arm free when Bryn moved her foot. The two rolled away from each other and sat up so they were facing one another. Bryn had since lost the dirt and leaves from her tumble out of the bed, but on the fall her hair began to resemble a bird’s nest with twigs and leaves and dirt tangled all in it. Kendall was not much better. Her hair being longer it caught more sticks than anything.

Bryn said with a snort, “You look like a freaking reindeer.”
“Oh, pot calling the kettle black. Get a mirror shorty you look like birds were trying to cling to your hair during a tornado.” Kendall said, beginning to laugh, heartily. Bryn began to laugh louder.

“Where do you come up with these descriptions?” Bryn asked, clutching her sides as she tried to catch her breath.

The two were laughing so loudly neither one noticed a company of men on horses heading their way. They continued to laugh until the leader of the group stopped his horse right behind Kendall. Bryn stopped laughing immediately and began to look around. The company was beginning to surround the two girls and the leader on his horse. With a swift smack to the side of the head Kendall stopped laughing and looked around.

“Holy shit.” The girls were looking closely at the group of men that surrounded them. All of whom had large weapons, bows, axes and swords, all except the small man with no shoes and the giant old man in grey. The leader of the on the horse closest to the girls dismounted and walked toward the two. The girls scrambled to their feet and stood side-by-side facing the menacing looking man. He got close to them with his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. It was silent as he stood glowering at them.

“So, uh, where’s the Renaissance Fair?” Kendall asked and then winced when Bryn elbowed her side. “God, your elbows are like daggers.”

“Shut up. Bryn whispered, “You’re going to get us killed.”

“Oh, so now you worry about potential dangers on the road?” Kendall asked, “Good Lord, something is wrong with you.”

“Me? You’re the idiot who just asked an armed stranger where the Renaissance Fair was. Does he look like the type to go to a Renaissance Fair?” Bryn whispered back in hiss, her voice quiet so only Kendall could hear her.

“Well, you never know.” Kendall said, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Silence.” The leader of the group commanded, his voice was deep and authoritative causing both girls to snap their attention back to him. They had momentarily forgotten that he was so close to them.

“Who are you and what are you doing?” He asked, harshly as his pale, blue eyes narrowed as he looked over them.

“Sorry sir, we’re just lost. We don’t know where we are.” Bryn said to the strange man.

“That’s redundant.” Kendall muttered under her breath.

“Shut up smart ass.” Bryn hissed, before turning back to the stranger. “Anyway, we were wondering if you know where the nearest city, or town is?”

“I do believe the nearest city is Rivendell.” The girls were startled when it wasn’t the stranger in front of them that answered the question but the older man dressed in a grey, billowy robe with his large pointy hat and his elaborate walking stick his wrinkled face smiled down at the two of them. The two girls both wore similar shocked expressions. They stared at the elder giant in incomprehensible dumbfoundedness.

“Rivendell? As in the Elven city of Rivendell?” Kendall asked, being the first to recover from the initial shock of the familiar stranger standing before them.

“Yes, my dear the very same.” The grey giant replied.

“So elves are real?” She asked.

The old man chuckled as a small smile grew upon his lips, “Yes, my dear child, they are most certainly real.”

“And, if I may be so bold to ask, who are you?” Kendall asked.
“I, am Gandalf the Grey.” The wizard introduced himself, sitting straighter in his saddle. A satisfied smirk began to form on Kendall’s face as she turned to her friend. Bryn’s face slowly morphed from shock to irritation as she looked at her grinning friend.

“Hey Brynnie, I was right.” Kendall grinned toothily as her friend glared, nastily.

“Oh my God shut up.”