Bryn and Ken's Excellent Adventure

“Hey Brynnie, I was right.” Kendall grinned, toothily as her friend glared, nastily.

“Oh my God shut up.”

The company of dwarves, as they now realized they were dwarves, began to chuckle quietly with the exception of a few, until the leader once again silenced them all. If it was possible he got even closer to the girls, his hand gripping tightly on the hilt of his sword. Through gritted teeth he seethed at them. “I will not ask you again, who are you?”

“But you just did.” Kenny pointed out.

“Oh my God shut up.” Bryn hissed.

He growled angrily at them, eyes blazing like blue fire. Bryn swallows loudly, before she leans in to whisper in Kenny’s ear, “Just tell him.” With a groan and an eye roll Kenny looked up at the man who was becoming increasingly irate.

“I’m Kendall, and this is Bryndle, and we already know Gandalf, so who are you?” The former revealed, gesturing between the pair to specify who was who.

“I don’t need to answer to you.” He snapped as he made a move to turn away from the strange girls and towards his company.

“Well it’s only common courtesy, when you meet new people you generally exchange names.” Kendall stated as she crossed her arms over her chest. Bryn proceeded to smack her hand to her face.

The grey wizard had been watching the conversation from the side and the more that he watched the girls, the more he felt that they were needed on their quest. So he took it upon himself to step in, “Now, Thorin, what kind of man would this make you if you left two maidens stranded in the middle of the Trollshaws with nothing to defend themselves with?”

The shorter man whirled around to confront Gandalf, “It is not my concern what happens to these girls and it should not concern them as to who I might be.”

“I believe it would be best that we escort them to Rivendell.” Gandalf insisted, towering over the darker man. The air around the wizard seemed to crackle with magic and the display seemed to cause the other man to back down.

With an exasperated sigh, the leader of the company turned back to Bryn and Ken. He bowed mockingly, before introducing himself through gritted teeth, “My name is Thorin Oakenshield. I am the leader of this company and as the wizard so dutifully pointed out, it would be best if you accompanied us to Rivendell.”

“Somebody just got told.” Ken whispered to Bryn as Thorin turned back to his company and began to bark orders to his men, “Nori, Bofur, they will be riding with you.” He seemed to growl out the sentence, as if it was physically paining him. The dwarves in question nodded in Thorin’s direction, and trotted their ponies forward.

“Dibbs on the one in the hat.” Bryn called, quickly, picking up her pillow and charging forward towards the dwarf mentioned astride an off white pony.

The aforementioned dwarf with the hat plucked the pillow from Bryn’s hands and laced it amongst his own things before offering the blonde a hand to climb upon his pony, “Name’s Bofur. But I didn’t quite catch yours, lass.”

“Bryndle. But call me, Bryn. Everyone else does.” She informed the pigtailed dwarf as she settled down in the saddle behind him. Kendall rolled her eyes not moving from her original spot. After a second she noticed the company stare at her expectantly. She shook her head and gathered her blankets, sheets and pillow and walked up to the man with hair shaped like a starfish.

“Sup?” She asked with an upward nod of her head. He gave her an odd look as if she were speaking a different language, before taking her things and shoving most of it into his saddlebags. He then grabbed the back of her shirt and hauled her onto the back of his light bay pony.

“Whoa there Starwish, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” He gave a confused chuckle and started his pony forward with the rest of the group. “So, forgive my short attention span, but what is your name again?” Kendall asked leaning into the rider.

“Nori.” He said gruffly.

“You don’t talk much do you?” Kendall asked, nonchalantly, attempting to start a conversation to entertain herself like she would’ve done on any trip.

“No.”

Kendall pouted when he didn’t seem willing to speak, “Well, that’s boring.” She shifted in the saddle to see around Nori’s hair.

“Yo, Brynnie,” Kendall yelled across the short distance, “How’s your escort doing with conversation?”

“Fine.” Bryn responded in a normal volume, now adorning Bofur’s hat. Of course, her short reply was enough to make the brunette girl groan in frustration. But the cheerful voice of the blonde’s riding partner soon perked up Kendall’s mood, “Aye, the lass has been quite amusing. But if you don’t mind, I have to ask, how did you come across such queer attire? Shouldn’t proper lasses such as yourselves be wearin’ other-“

“’Proper lasses’?” The girls snorted in unison, chuckling at the notion of them being anything close to ‘proper’. Kendall shared a looked with her friend before she gestured between the pair, “What makes you think that this imp and I are proper?”

The miner stroked his mustache in thought as he mulled over how he should respond. After a moment or two, he shrugged, “I suppose you’re right. I’ve just never seen clothes like what you’re wearin’.”

The girls shared another look, trying to decide how they were going to explain their attire to someone who lived in middle earth and had a different sense of modesty. They continued their silent conversation between them until Kendall, decided to speak up, “Well, it might not be common around here but where we come from it’s actually a normality. Right, Bryn?”

The blonde nodded in agreement even if the dwarf in front of her couldn’t see her reaction, but then added, “Well, some people dress more scantily than we do.”

“True that. Did you see that one who was practically-” Kendall began but was immediately cut off by Bryn.

“Seriously have some class, don’t share that stuff.” Bryn rolled her eyes and glared at her friend.

“Puh-lease, I reek of decorum.” Kenny preened, causing the blonde to roll her eyes. Nori, however, chuckled deeply.

“Pardon me, but where exactly do the two of you come from,” A new voice asked as an elderly white haired dwarf with an extremely long beard inserted himself into the conversation. He had a kind, gentle face sort of like your favorite grandpa or maybe even Santa Claus. Overall, he looked like a rather pleasant individual. He offered the girls a kind smile and then added, “Balin, at your service.”

Both Bryn and Kenny weren’t quite sure of how to proceed with answering Balin’s question, especially with the added pressure that all available eyes and ears of the company had tuned in. It might not have been extremely apparent but most of dwarves were interested in finding out where these two strange girls had come from. None of them had ever seen a girl or woman dressed the way they dressed or even spoke the way they spoke.

The pair assumed another one of their silent conversations and from an outsider’s perspective it appeared that they were having an argument without words. It became very apparent to the others in the company that these two could be sisters, but judging by the differences in their looks they weren’t related. But when the blonde sent a stern look to the brunette that clearly conveyed that the latter of the two better get to talking.

Rolling her eyes at her friends, Kendall scratched the back of her head trying to think of something on the spot, “Well, we are from… We’re from a place far, far away.”

“Oh my god, Kenny, I think they’ve gathered that so far.” Bryn interjected, “Don’t go there either.”

The blonde knew that her friend was trying to channel her inner Star Wars fan by modifying the famous introduction to veil the truth about their origins. But Bryn regretted telling her no when Kendall’s face shifted into that of fierce determination and defiance.

“Yes, we are from a land far away. We came from across the sea, from a place called Alderaan. We managed to get out before the Imperial Army destroyed it.” Kendall sent a glare toward Bryn, who was staring at her open mouthed. “We’ve been lost for days, just wandering around. But we knew we had to carry on, there’d be peace when we were done. We could lay our weary heads to rest. We didn’t want to cry anymore.” Kendall ended solemnly.

“Kansas? You’re quoting Kansas.” Bryn asked incredulously. “No, that is not what happened.”

Kendall huffed and sent a pointed glare Bryn’s way, “Well, I don’t see you stepping up to the plate, so why don’t you just keep quite and let me talk.”

“I’d rather you let me, after hearing the train wreck you came up with.”

“Fine,” Kendall shrugged, gesturing for Bryn to take the lead, who rolled her eyes at her friend before she informed the company of where they came from, “We’re from Narnia.”

“NARNIA?!” Kendall shouted. Bryn only shrugged and glared.

“No, we’re not from Narnia, either.” Kendall rejected.

“Why don’t you start telling the truth, before we tie you up and leave you for the crows?” Thorin’s voice floated back toward them, not loud, yet undeniably frightening.

“Uh, well we’re from America.” Kendall muttered.

“America? Where is this land?” Another new voice joined in causing both girls to look behind them as a pair of younger dwarves trotted their ponies up beside them. Kendall had to do a discount double take on the scruffy faced, brunette dwarf that appeared next to Nori’s pony. In her mind, he could only be akin to Adonis when he flashed a pearly smile at her.

Kendall opened her mouth to speak but no words could come out as she continued to gawk at the weirdly pretty, young dwarf. And the only thought that popped up in her mind was, ‘Hellooooo Nurse.’

Fortunately for her, Bryn wasn’t faring much better as a curly blonde dwarf, that kind of looked like Ryan Gosling with long hair and a braided mustache, pulled up beside Bofur’s pony. She was trying not to drool all over herself.

The two dwarves shared a smirk from across the path at each before they introduced themselves to the girls. The blonde riding next to Bryn went first, “Fíli.” Then the brunette, “And Kíli.” And then in unison, “At your service.”

“Kendall, at your service.” The female brunette couldn’t help but flirt back a little with Kíli.

“Bryndle, but call me, Bryn.” The blondes shared a smile as Bryn reached out to shake Fíli’s hand like the awkward person she was. Fíli appeared unaccustomed to her gesture so he, merely, let it happen.

“So where is America?” Kíli inquired, getting back to the previous topic.

The girls shared a look and Kendall clarified with a shrug, “It’s far to the North across the sea. It’s not all that exciting.”

“What are you doing over in Arda?” Fíli inquired, deciding to join in on the conversation as well.

The girls shared a look again and this time it was Bryn who spoke, “We grew bored so we decided when we came of age we were going to go see what else there was in this world.” Kendall had to refrain from rolling her eyes at her friend’s lack of imagination, still believing her Star Wars story was much more entertaining. Bryn looked over and glared at Kendall as if reading her mind.

“How did you end up in the Trollshaws?” Kíli asked.

“We got lost.” Bryn shrugged, trying not to look at anyone because she knew that she was a bad lier.

“You don’t look like you’ve been traveling.” Fíli observed as he looked over Bryn's relatively clean outfit.

“Well, we had been staying with this man named Hagrid and his wife Minerva, but we got separated just the other day so we’ve been wandering around since.” If anyone had been looking at Bryn while Kendall was speaking they would have seen the disgust and disbelief on her face, instantly trapping them in their lie. And if the girls had looked to Gandalf they would have seen his knowing expression. But luckily no one was looking where they should have.

“So have you enjoyed yourself so far?” Bofur asked, his pigtails sticking out oddly from his head.

“Other than getting lost and being pushed down a hill, not too bad.” Kendall noted

“I did not push you. You fell and dragged me down with you.” Bryn argued.

“Whatever, think what you will.” Kendall waved off the blonde, “So who are the rest of you guys?”

Bofur withheld his need to laugh at the pair, and answered as he pointed to each dwarf, “Well, you know the group of us, Thorin and Gandalf. That there with the mane of red hair is Glóin, he’s next to his brother, Óin, with that damned ear trumpet. The big, mostly bald one with the battle-axes strapped to his back and the scary face is Balin’s younger brother, Dwalin. That fat one is my brother Bombur, and the one with the axe in his head is my cousin Bifur.”

Kíli then jumped in, “Then you have Dori, and Ori, they’re Nori’s brothers.”

“Ori’s the youngest.” Fíli clarified. “And we can’t forget our burglar.”

“Mr. Boggins.” Kíli grinned so brightly that it made Kendall blink, stupidly for a moment.

“It’s Mr. Baggins, Bilbo Baggins.” A meek voice corrected the young dwarf from somewhere behind the group which caused the girls to turn and look back to see who had spoken up.

“You’re a hobbit.” Bryn exclaimed, excitedly because she had always had an affinity for hobbits because she had always been short for a human and enjoyed walking around barefoot.

“Yes, I am.” He replied tiredly, looking more disheveled than the rest of the group as he, awkwardly clung to the reins of his pony.

“Do you know where the Green Dragon is?” Bryn asked, not being dissuaded by his disinterest.

“Yes, I do.” He confirmed, quickly as he tried to dismiss himself from the conversation. But his efforts were dismembered as the other girl butted in.

“We know the Green Dragon song!” Kendall exclaimed as she looked over at her friend and they wore matching grins.

“You can search far and wide,
You can drink the whole town dry.
But you’ll never find a beer so brown
As the one we drink in our hometown.

You can drink your fancy ales.
You can drink ‘em by the flagon.
But the only brew for the brave and true
Comes from the Green Dragon.”

The dwarves around them clapped when the girls finished the tavern song with the best bows that they could manage on the back of their ponies. They shared a grin when they noticed that the group that had gathered around them appeared to be a little bit more upbeat than they were before. The only ones, who seemed to not enjoy the song, were Thorin and the Halfling.

“You are not a happy hobbit.” Kendall stated when she saw Bilbo’s weary, bland face.

“No, I am not.” He deadpanned, rubbing a hand over his face in dismay.

“Not very talkative either.” Bryn muttered. Bofur chuckled as he pulled out his pipe and began to puff on it.

“So you lasses like to sing, do ya?” Bofur asked as smoke trailing out from his mouth.

“Yeah, we sing all the time.” Kendall said, grinning as she thought of all the times she and Bryn had sang at the top of their lungs in the car or wherever they went. Singing songs were some of the fondest memories they had together as well as some of the most entertaining.

“Well, sing us something from where you’re from.” He suggested. The two girls shared a look and a grin.

“Hmm, what shall we sing?” Kendall asked Bryn with a contemplative look. “Journey?”

“Nah, Queen?” Bryn suggested with a smirk.

“Not this time. Don McLean?” Kendall offered instead.

“Sounds fitting.” She agreed, as her smirk grew into a full on grin. Kendal held up a hand and counted off; one, two, three, and together they sang.

“A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' ‘This'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die’"

“Time for bonding is over, we shall make camp here.” Thorin’s voice resonated through the trees. The group began to dismount as they came upon a clearing with an old, run down stone cottage that looked weathered beyond repair. It appeared to have once been a farmhouse and but judging by the deterioration of the structure it had been a long time since it had been used for any kind of purpose.

Before everyone’s feet had hit the ground, he began to bark out orders to get the campsite set up before dark. Bryn and Kendall did what they could to help, which wasn’t much. They mostly just tried not to get in anyone’s way. The two girls sat in silence as they watched the dwarves work, quickly and efficiently and they were so caught up in watching them work that they didn’t notice Gandalf storm off until Bilbo’s voice broke their train of thought,

“Is everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?”

The girls looked up to see Gandalf’s back moving away from the camp as he spoke, “To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.”

Sharing a look, Bryn and Kendall figured that Gandalf and Thorin must have gotten into an argument over something. But who knew with the way that dwarf acted. So they only shrugged to another when they couldn’t think of an answer as to what had gone on between the two. So they turned their attention back to the Halfling, who was obviously trying to get Gandalf to stay, “Who’s that?”

“Myself, Mr. Baggins. I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day.” He declared to the smaller man as he disappeared into the forest just beyond the campsite.

The rest of the camp looked after the wizard had gone, unsure of how to react to what had transpired until Thorin’s voice reined them back to work, “Come on, Bombur, we’re hungry.”