Little Red Riding Hood

Author: Storm fucking Way

Rating: U for fellow vamps, Nc17 for stupid humans.

Warning: The wolf wins and any spelling mistakes or bad grammar screw you I can do what I want. Screw the dictionary, and there’s over use of the f word because I like that fucking word ok. Oh and this is fucking crack.

Summery: Yeah like you need one for this.

Little red raiding hood.

Ok so once upon a fucking time was this girl. I’m not going to bother telling you her really name but because she always wore this red cloke people called her litter red raiding hood.

Personal I think she was a gothic Lolita but what ever she was like to old for that shit.

Anyway one day Little red raiding hood (Fuck she could have a shorter nick name. I got to type her full name all the frigging time. I just call her Red because I can I’m Storm fucking Way the vampire messiah. Even though my mom says I’m not the messiah just a very naughty boy.)

Anyway one day Red decided to take food to her grandma because her grandma was a lazy bitch who couldn’t be bothered to visit the store.

Red made the basket up with cakes and stuff before starting off to visit her. She took the short cut throw the dark woods. (Really she’s a dumb bitch because there’s a perfectly good way to get there through a built up area. What do I care Red was a human anyway.)

So she started throgh the woods to her grandma house when she happened upon a man chopping down trees.

“Hello,” Red smiled. (I told you she was dumb talking to strange men in the woods.)

“Hello young lady and what a pretty red cloke your wearing,” The man smiled. (I call pervert!)

Red giggled “Hey would you like one of my cakes,” (She’s doing it wrong strange men are meant to offer you cakes.)

“Well I have been working mighty hard I would love one,” (Wtf mighty hard a pervert and a hillbilly no doubt)

So Red and the wood cutter shared a cake before Red decided it was getting dark and decided to carry on to her grandma’s house.

(Yeah a good time to think about safety. She already walking through the woods and talking to perverted hillbilly wood cutting men with axes)

Any way there was this wolf, well I say it was a ware wolf because dudes he could talk.

“Hey can I have a cake I’m so hungry,” The wolf asked approaching Red.

Red shook her head. “No these cakes are for my grandma not for the likes of you,” She said.

(I know the bitch. She happily gave a cake to a pervert with a axe and not to a hungry wolf. )

“Oh and where does your grandma live,” The wolf asked smiling and you know what Red told him.

The wolf smiled to himself taking a shorter cut to grandma’s house to beat Red there.

Red being a dumb bitch had no idea when she got to her Grandma’s house and entered.

“Grandma I’m here with food,”

The wolf being cunning, well I say cunning but really anyone could fool Red, had dressed up as her Grandma.

“I’m in bed sweetie,” The wolf called out in a high voice.

Red went into her Grandma’s bedroom looking at the wolf.

“Grandma you look different,” She said. (No kidding she’s now a six foot two male ware wolf,”

“Do I dear,”

“Yes why you have such big ears,” Red said.

“All the better the hear you my dear,”

“And such big eyes”

“All the better to see you with,”

“And gosh Grandma you have such big teeth,”

“All the better to eat you with,” With that our heroic wolf leapt out of bed making Red scream.

Now the perverted wood cutting hillbilly heard this and ran to Grandma’s house but it was to late because the wolf had ate the grandma and chowed down on Red.

By now the wolf wasn’t hungry, (What he ate two people, and one of them ate to many cakes.)

Anyway being the hero he was he ate the wood cut as well and what he couldn’t eat he packed up for his mate and puppies (Yeah I’m on team wolf. See he’s a good husband thinking of his family like that.)

So the motto of the story is Red was a dumb bitch, perverted hillbilly woodcuts are no match for ware wolfs, and Grandma’s who eat to many cakes will make you fat.

So if there’s any diet tip’s for the Wolf tell me and I will send them on.

The fucking end