Have You Ever Known?

“Nothing happened even if he stayed the night?” Louis interrogated, his elbows propping up the table where I’m eating cereal across from him.

They arrived the afternoon after Harry went over to take care of me and stayed the night. I woke up, in his arms and confused on how we managed to fit that couch. I was tangled up in him like I was with my blanket, and my silly fever had gone by now.

I looked up at him, overanalyzing his features and how peaceful he looked sleeping. His lips are a little parted and his dimples showing when he closed it and tossed his head a little to his side. His curls were falling on his face and I fought the urge to touch and push it up. But all I know is that my mind is going on and on again how beautiful he is.

But it didn’t last long, because his eyes fluttered open when the door hit the wall as it opened, revealing Louis and Dani wearing amused faces, making Harry instantly untangling us fast, before I even comprehended what happened.

He acted like he was caught doing something bad. And he instantly said mumbling something inaudible and has to leave. He muttered a quick goodbye to me, which made me confused because of how fast it was happening. I muttered a soft thank you to him—for taking care of me, staying the night—everything, which he just hummed at, and bolted out the door where Louis patted his shoulder, whispering something as he smirked. I saw Harry tensed when his shoulders stiffened, making me imagine his face for his frantic reaction, and he headed out without saying a word to Louis.

Louis brought me back from my thoughts, snapping his fingers in front of my face, “Earth to Amelia.” I rolled my eyes, scoffing, “Of course, nothing happened. We just fell asleep.”

“And cuddled,” Dani pointed out, after sipping her coffee. They were giving me a look that I know well and I gagged. Louis nodded, agreeing to what Dani confirmed.

I hated how these two manage to tease the hell out of me, without even trying so hard.

“It just happened,” I tried to reason out because it did. How we manage to get ourselves tangled with each other is still a question to me, yet I don’t think there’s an answer. Or if I want an answer.

I love how his heat—his mere presence—is making me warm and making me feel safe. And how his arm perfectly rested on my middle as I rested mine on his chest, and head buried on the crooked of his neck.

And that scares me—how much I’m giving it too much thought. Because what if us ending up that way was just really an accident? I tried to push it out of my head again, enough for me to make an excuse—to the couple across from me and from myself—to get out and clear my unsettled head.

Which brought me to the coffee shop a few blocks away.

I was in the middle of searching my bag for my coin purse when I heard it.

A group of girls on the table nearest the line where I’m standing were talking casually about someone. I was never an eavesdropper, but it’s as if they were actually trying hard for me not to hear, at the same time, whispering loud enough—making it hard for me to miss it.

I was hoping it wasn’t me. That it was just about the woman on the phone and talking loudly in front of me, or the man with a beard at my back. Tough luck, I thought.

But as soon as I heard his name, I knew I’m the jackpot they’re trying to hit.

“Can you believe she’s dating Harry?”

“Lucky girl, yeah? I mean, I saw their pictures and all, she’s not that pretty, but eh.”

“But maybe they’re just really friends?”

I nervously glanced at them and they stared back, not even fazed that I heard. Instinctively, I turned to look away and hurriedly moved away from their table and ordered a cup of coffee and a croissant. I didn’t care if I had to round the whole café, as long as I was out of their sight, I head back to the flat even with much more to contemplate.

When I arrived, I hastily removed my coat slyly without detaching the coffee and the bag of bread off my hands. I went straight to the couch and slumped next to Louis and Dani who were watching a rerun of How I Met Your Mother, which I already watched.

I tilted my head to drink my coffee, not even bothering if it’s too hot for my liking and sighed heavily. Seeing that it was the episode of Marshall’s Ducky Tie and Ted seeing Victoria again, I sighed once again.

Louis turned to me to give me a look, which made the girl cuddled in his arms follow and do the same thing. Unlike Louis, who thinks it was just about the coffee shop being full packed, Dani knows something was up.

She removed her arm from Louis’ waist and asked, “Did something happen?”

I turned to her, still picking on my coffee holder, and looked passed over her. She must have noticed this and nudged Louis side to get his attention. They both gave each other a silent look, communicating wordlessly, and Louis stood up and went to Dani’s room.

“What happened?” Dani asked, looking concerned. I sighed again, for the third time and closed my eyes. “Some girls at the coffee shop just—“ I opened my eyes, seeing that Dani is giving me the look to go on. I fixed my posture and stared at the cover of my coffee. “They were just talking about me being with Harry and things like that and well—“

“Oh, Amie.” She instantly hugged me and soothed my back.

And then I thought about how unreasonable again I was because Harry and I were not even together. I’m making a big deal of this.

But then, I’m not the only one. We weren’t even doing anything wrong, and people are making fuss about it. I’m sure, no matter how many times I convince myself I don’t care what people think, there’s always the part of me who will.

“I know I’m just—this—I’m being ridiculous,” I sighed at her shoulder. She stiffened; grasping both my shoulders that made me look at her narrowed eyes. “You’re not, okay?”

I gave a sad look, but Dani wasn’t finished talking. She shook my shoulders a little. “They don’t give the final say of who Harry dates, remember that. And so what if you’re dating him? You’re beautiful, Amie—no doubt. And if Lou’s here, he’d agree with me,” she said as she rubbed her warm hands to my upper arm, assuring me.

“And I can even call Harry to prove you that,” She said humorously and smiled when I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway. And the teasing was back.

“No need, Dan. Thank you.” I said in my sincerest smile as I hugged her again. Because this girl is my best friend, I believe her. Besides, if I weigh her and others’ opinion of me, I’d believe hers in a heartbeat.

After the tension being lifted, Dani called Louis who immediately went out, saying he was too bored lying down. Before he sat down, they shared the same look earlier. Louis nodded like he knew and understood what happened, and gave me his mischievous smile which I returned with a scrunched up face.