The Monster Below

Anita was determined that I have a date for the dance, so determined that she had even spoke to Harry about taking me.

Yeah like that was ever gonna happen.

"Maybe you should just get back together with James, at least until after the dance, that way you would definitely have someone to go with."

Meeting her eye, "Anita, it's over, there is no going back now. And I wouldn't want to. He's a nice guy but..."

"But what?"

I really don't know.

I mean he was a good catch, popular, hot even, but... "I just don't feel that way about him."

"Sometimes I worry about you. You've had only two boyfriends in your entire life and neither ever lasted or went further than kissing. You don't even seem that into guys...Your not gay are you?" taking a step back, her hands held up as she backs away, a mock look of horror on her face making me smile.

"No I'm not gay," I laugh. "Just never found anyone that's worth my attention, someone that makes my heart race, my pulse pound." Instantly my thoughts turn to Him.

Over the years my feelings for him have changed from loving him as one would love a brother, a friend, to loving him as a man, a man I wanted so desperately to meet. Though it will never happen.

Every year on my birthday he asks me what I would wish for, and every year its been something silly, something unimportant. I hope that this year I'll have the courage to ask for what I truly want.

"By the look on your face i'd say you've already met that someone," she smirks as the bell rings, calling us back to class.

"I wish."

~☆~

"So how was school?" my mum asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

What else did she want to hear? It was the same thing every day. I'd get home from school, do my homework, then have to sit through dinner with her and dad. All the time pretending that everything was fine.

We would never be a normal family, not after what happened in the past. A past I might add that they cannot seem to forget. I have to watch everything I say and do because if they for one minute suspect that I might be, as they put it, 'having a relapse,' they will send me way again.

They see it as being for my own good. They think that one of them quack doctors they took me to as a child actually did some good. Well I beg to differ. There is no way in hell I will ever let them do that to me again. I know I shouldn't, know that they thought they were doing the right thing, but I hate them for it. Though I guess I should be grateful that they kept me and didn't send me back.You see I was adopted as baby. No idea about my really parents, couldn't care less. But I am grateful that mum and dad cared enough to keep me.

"So are you and your friends still going dress shopping this weekend?" mum asked, trying to encourage me into a conversation.

"Yeah, I'll be gone most of the day." Not that I will be buying a dress niw. "We're catching the bus to the city and plan to grab dinner and a movie before heading back."

"Sounds fun."

"Mmm..."

"What's wrong honey?"

"Nothing." Raising from the table I clear my plate before making my excuses. My mum's not stupid, she knows somethings wrong, but as long as it has nothing to do with losing my mind then she's usually cool. "I've still got a little work to do, it ok if I have my pudding upstairs."

"Sure. I'll be here if you want to talk."

I wish I could talk to her, I need someone to chat to, but I cant really ask my mother for advise on loving the monster under my bed who spoke to me at night. She really would beleave me insane then.

When I finally escaped up to the safety of my room I was thoroughly depressed. I didn't have anyone I could open up to, no one but him, but when it came to the one topic I really needed advice on... There truely was no one.

"You ok Phoenix?" He asked as I attempted to make myself comfortable on the bed.

"Not really."

"Wanna talk about it."

"Not really," I repeated.

"Well if your not going to talk to me about it then we better take your mind off it."

His comment making me smile. "Ok, so distract me." I loved his distractions, even if they were a little scary at times. The night me told me about the symbols he had been distracting me. "But tell me something about yourself." I added, the words just popping out of my mouth.

"About me? This is new, I don't think you have asked anything about me since the night we first spoke."

True, I hadn't. I'd never even asked his name before. Surely if I was going to waste my life pinning over him I should at least know his name.

"What would you like to know?"

"Who are you? Where are you?"

Panic seized me as I was met with silence. My breath coming thick and fast.

What had I done? After years of just not asking questions I had to go and open my mouth now. What if he left me? Then I would truly be alone.

"It's a little hard to explain right now, but I guess I can give you my name. I'm surprised you've never asked."

Oh thank the lord, he's still here.

"Guess I just never found the right moment." My voice giving away my high emotion.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah," I said while taking deep breaths, trying to care myself. "So tell me what is your name?"

"...Reidar."

Reidar... Reidar...

"I like it. It's different, kind of unusual."

"What did you expect, something like more monster related," he laughed. "You may have grow up thinking of me as the monster under the bed but that doesn't make me so."

Then if he was not a monster what was he? "You never corrected me."

"I know, you were a young child, scared and terrified of the presense you could feel underneath your bed, and as a child I thought it best you believe that I was. It was much easier than informing you of the truth."

"And what is the truth?"

"Something you are not yet ready for."

What was that supposed to mean?

"I'm not a child anymore." I say, even though I just kind of sounded like one moaning like that.

"I am well aware of that fact Phoenix, but still, there are things that you are not quite ready to hear."

"But you will tell me one day?"

"Yes, when the time is right I will tell you everything you need to know."

~☆~

Well I was right, shopping for dresses when your dateless is depressing. Anita and Bailey have dragged me in almost every single shop in town, tried on millions of puffy, frilly, pink dresses that for some reason they think looks good. Sometime I swear fashion designers either need glasses or just plain shooting. Walking down the main high street we headed to the only store left, a small boutique, the window full of tiaras, a baby pink frilly dress in the centre. Ewwwwwww. I wasn't a big fan of pink, not that shade anyway, but apparently Bailey was.

"OMG, look at that one, I so have to try that on." A huge smile on her face. "I think this could be the one girls."

"I think someones gone temporarily blind," Anita sniggered behind her hand as Bailey walked through the door ahead of us.

The place had seemed tiny from the outside but inside it opened up into a huge room filled with racks of dresses of every colour under the sun. While Bailey went to ask the shop assistant, a petite old lady with long white hair, I followed Anita to the sale rack in the corner.

"I still can't believe my parents only gave me fifty quid to get a dress, and I still need shoes," she moaned flicking through the dresses. "Hey what do you think of this one." Holding up a floor length blue sparkly dress.

"Looks ok."

"I'm going to see if I can try it on."

Once she was gone I started wandering round the shop, flicking through the rails though not really seeing them. I really didn't want to be here. Why did I even come, I mean it wasn't as if I was going to the stupid dance anyway.

The dress Anita had picked off the rack had turned out to be too big, but the lady in the shop had said she could have it altered for her free of charge, which was nice, but personally I think she was just so desperate to get rid of the thing.

"And what about you dear, have you seen anything that catches your eye?"

"You have a lot of nice things, but I'm not attending the dance so have no need for a dress."

"Nonsense." Standing and moving around the counter towards a smaller rack at then back I hadn't seen before. Pulling a clothes bag from the rail. "Here, try this one on. It will be perfect for you."

"No really, I'm not going," I say trying to hand it back to her.

Turning her full gaze on me I could have sworn I saw them flash red for the briefest second. I really needed to get more sleep at night. "I'm sure you will meet someone in time for the dance, better to be prepared, you can always return it if you don't go." That was true, but there was just something about this that felt off, and I was kind of scared to say no.

Taking the bag I left Anita and Bailey to pay for their dresses while I headed into the back to the dressing rooms. Hanging the clothes bag up I unzipped it revealing the dress of my dreams.

Weeks ago when the dance had first been announced I'd dreamt of going in a long strapless gown with a split up the right leg in the most amazing emerald green... and now here it was.

How had she known? Ok this is creepy, I can't possibly take this, but then again it was the dress, the dress from my dream, the dream where I had danced in Reidar's arms all night. Ok that was it, I was buying this even if I didn't have anyone to go with. I needed this dress. I just hoped that it fit.

Ten minutes later I was still stood in the dressing room mesmerized by the vision in the mirror before me. It fit perfectly, as if it had been made specifically for me; the length, the bust... perfect. And the best thing is I have the most perfect shoes to match it tucked away under my bed.

"Phoenix, you ok in there?" Anita called snapping me out of my daze.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Reluctantly I changed back, carefully placing the dress back in the bag and zipping it up so my friends wouldn't see it. I wasn't ready to show it to anyone yet.

"How long does it take to try a dress on?" Bailey complained as I entered the room.

"I'll take it," smiling at the strange lady. She still scared me, creeped me out, but I couldn't help the excitement I felt at finding this dress. I just hoped I could afford it.

Afford it... hell I didn't have much money, just the cash my parents had given me and some cash I had saved up, which wasn't much after I had brought the ridiculously expensive shoes hidden under my bed.

"Mmm, how much is it?" fingers crossed behind my back.

"Just £120 dear."

Wow, that was lucky, that was the exact amount I had.

After paying we headed out to look for shoes to go with the vile pink dress from the window that Bailey had brought. We had both tried but she wouldn't listen to either of us.

"Phoenix, I swear that guy is following you," Anita whispered in my ear as we browsed the shelves in Shoe Zone.

"What guy?"

Nodding her head towards the store entrance, "Him."

OMG, talk about hot. A mop of dark spiked hair, lean body encased in tight jeans and a white t shirt. And Anita was right, he was looking straight at me.

"He was at the last shop also, and the one before that. I think he's been following us since we left the dress shop."

"Well I for one want to find out why," Bailey said putting the shoes she had been contemplating back on the shelf and stalking out of the store and straight toward the guy, who still even now stood staring straight at me.

"Hell we better get out there before she says something stupid." Grabbing my arm and dragging me with her.

As we moved closer I decided that he wasn't as nice as I had first thought, there was just something about him that set me on edge. This guy was dangerous.

Bailey's mouth was going a mile a minute, rambling on and on, but it was falling on death ears. "Well, you going to answer me?" prodding him in the arm. That got a reaction. Turning quickly towards her, glaring down into her eyes. "Ok."

Wait, what? Bailey backing down? that never happens. Some guy once tried to rob the local newsagents when she was in there and when he had demanded she lay down on the floor she had point blank refused, telling him there was no way in hell that she was going to get her new white jeans messed up on the scruffy floor. But one look from this guy and she was just backing down?

Turning his gaze back upon me I couldn't look away from his eyes. They seemed to shine, shimmer with a strange light, but the was something there, something odd.

"Go to the dance with me?"

What? Who was this guy? Did he even go to our school? There was no way on earth that...

"Ok." Did I just say that? "I mean..." His eyes are so... why can't I seem to look away. "I would love to."

A heart stopping grin forming on his lips, though I wasn't sure if it was in a good way, there was just come thing... Hell he was hot, I'd be going with the hottest guy around. "I'll meet you there," he said finally breaking eye contact with me.

"Hold on, what's your name." I bet it's a sexy name, sexy like him.

"Call me Finn." And with that he disappeared into the crowd of weekend shoppers.

"OMG! Phoenix, everyone is going to be so jealous." Bailey squealed gripping my arm.

Yeah they were, but... I don't know something just didn't feel right.