Easier to Lie

Jack awoke with slightly blurred vision and a headache that was just barely starting to hit him. He couldn't quite remember where he was or how he'd even gotten there to begin with, but he could feel another person's arms wrapped loosely around his waist, their evened breathing ghosting the back of his neck and causing goose bumps to rise in its wake.

He would've usually been comforted by knowing that someone was spooning with him, but he could feel that neither of them had any clothing on. Even that normally wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that he knew that whoever it was, it wasn't Alex. His boyfriend.

Jack's breathing started to become heavy as a panic attack washed over his horror-stricken body, but he tried to stop and recall everything that'd happened as he slid from the mystery man's arms and climbed quietly from the bed, beginning the hunt for his clothes and car keys.

One look at the other man, still asleep in his bed, brought everything back in a tidal wave.

"Hey, baby," a voice whispered, right in Jack's ear. It made the tall, barely-tipsy man shiver. "Can I get you a drink?"

Jack turned around at that, wanting to know who was hitting on him. A man not much shorter than himself was stood right there in his personal bubble, with short, dark, spiked hair. A lip ring twinkled in the flashing lights of the club, and hazel eyes did short rakes of his figure before returning to deep brown, almond-shaped eyes.

Really, the first thing to leave Jack’s lips should’ve been a no, but he’s never been the most logical of people. In Jack’s mind, if someone wanted to buy him a drink, then he could just get more alcohol for free and continue to buy his own drinks for himself. Which was quite obviously a win-win situation.

There was a part of him, however, that told him he should reject the offer. Not because he felt like he’d do something stupid—he wasn't that bad or anything—but he didn't want to have to call Alex to get him, the elder having decided to stay home to nurse a migraine that would've only gotten worse had he gone out to the club with Jack and the other guys.

But… one drink wouldn't hurt, so he agreed.

One drink soon turned to two, which turned to three, and after that? Yeah, Jack kind of lost count on how many alcoholic beverages he’d consumed and how long it had been since meeting the mystery man (whose name he learned to be Matt, though he preferred ‘Flyzik’ and was therefore no longer a mystery).

At some point during the night—or, rather, early hours of the morning—Jack had found himself in the middle of the crowded, sweaty dance floor with Flyzik grinding into him from behind, whispering dirty things in his ear and occasionally angling himself just so to be able to tug the stud in Jack’s left ear with his teeth.

Jack was turned on, to say the least, and he wasn't thinking clearly at all. When Flyzik asked if he wanted to ‘get out of there,’ the obvious answer was a slurred, “Yes.”

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jack cursed quietly under his breath. The tears were still forming in his eyes as his thoughts continued on through the night, showing the depth of what he’d just done. He couldn't even say it was an accident—there’s no such thing as accidental infidelity, and anyone can tell you that.

When his jeans had been pulled up his legs, shirt tugged on over his head (a few minutes being spent thanking whatever divine creature had allowed him to get off the hook with no visible marks), and his wallet, keys, and cellphone having been shoved into his pockets, he was scrambling from the house as fast as he possibly could, only tripping over the random things strewn along the floor a total of twice.

It was when he was finally outside and situated in the front seat of his car did he pull his phone back out to turn it on, and the first thing he saw was five missed calls—all from Alex. There was a voice-mail for each, and he almost couldn't find it in himself to open them.

“Hey, baby, s’just me,” the first one said. “Call me back when you get this, okay? Love you!”

“I don’t know why I was expecting you to pick up. You’re probably playing wing-man for Zack, huh? Well, on the off-chance that you do see this, call me back. Love ya!” said the second.

“You’re gonna pick up one of these times, right? Well, since it’s been nearly an hour and a half since I last called and I still haven’t even gotten a text, then I’m just gonna assume that you’re still with the guys, so can you just pick up some more Advil or something on your way home? Thanks, baby, love ya.”

“I know it’s stupid for me to worry about you, but I haven’t heard anything from you in hours and I know how you get when you’re drunk. Please be safe, okay? I love you.”

“I haven’t gotten a call from anyone saying that you’re dead or something yet, so I’m just gonna turn the volume up on my phone and go to bed now. I guess you’ll probably be staying with Vinny or someone tonight, right? Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, baby. I love you.”

The fact that Alex always left an ‘I love you’ at the end of his messages made Jack’s heart clench so fucking painfully. He didn't know what to do. It was going on two-thirty in the morning, and he could sort of recognize what street he was on and how to get back to Alex’s (which, really, at that point should have just been called their apartment, not Alex’s), but he was scared. He was so god damn scared, but he felt guiltier.

It took another few moments of going over the pros and cons before Jack realized that he needed to just tell his boyfriend the truth. He couldn't beat around the bush with this, and if he held off on saying anything then he never would. Determination and regret are what forced the key into the ignition and his hands to take the wheel, but with each mile closer he got, the heavier the weight on his shoulders became.

The twenty-minute drive seemed to move much too quickly, and when Jack was finally stood outside the front doors of the building before him, he actually had to take a moment to compose himself and wipe his face partially dry before heading upstairs to his more than likely (since Alex wouldn't lie) sleeping boyfriend.

It was hard, Jack soon came to notice. Just moving his feet towards his impending doom was making him wobble and trip more that he would if he were still fully intoxicated. That’s how he ended up stumbling through the front door of their Alex’s apartment and then on into the bedroom, flicking the light on and causing Alex to jolt awake.

“Baby?” Alex asked as he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes, trying to make some sense of the scene playing out before him.

A sob caught in Jack’s throat as he nodded, the tears beginning to come back full force, and then the elder was suddenly much more awake than he’d been before.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he questioned worriedly, holding his arms out for his younger boyfriend. Jack couldn't resist the invitation and soon plopped down onto the mattress before scooting to cuddle in Alex’s strong arms. The elder pulled him close and shushed him as his breathing turned choppy once again. “Babes… come on, tell me what’s wrong. Why are you crying, huh? Let me make it better; I wanna make it better.”

Honestly, Jack didn't know where to start. Should he be blunt? Should he try and be sensitive? The one thing he knew he should do was look Alex in the eye while he said what he needed to, and after a moment of running through a few different scenarios of how everything could play out in his mind, he looked up.

And suddenly, he couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Alex about all of the things he’d gone and done in just a handful of hours. The elder was gazing at him with such concern, adoration, and love. Alex couldn't see the remorse, and Jack just… he couldn't bring himself to hurt Alex like that. He couldn't be the bearer of such bad news.

“I…” he started, thoughts racing a mile-a-minute as he tried to think of a lie that was even semi-believable.

“Take your time,” Alex hushed, leaning in to press a kiss to the younger’s forehead.

“I was at Rian and Cass’s place, and I fell asleep on the couch, and I had a dream, and I thought you… Lex, I thought you… I just… I had to be sure you were okay,” he rambled, hoping that Alex wouldn't try and call up Rian or Cassadee tomorrow to ask about him.

Alex could only laugh and shake his head, pull his boyfriend closer. “You thought something bad had happened to me, so you had to come check on me? You’re fuckin’ precious, I swear. You know I’m never just gonna leave you like that, right?”

“I know,” Jack mumbled in agreement, snuggling back down into the elder’s chest and hiding his face so that the shame wouldn't suddenly become visible.

“Wanna get changed so we can go back to bed now?” Alex inquired softly after a few moments of just rocking their bodies gently back and forth, and Jack merely reached down to undo and tug off his pants and shirt before throwing them on the ground and moving from Alex’s lap to turn off the light.

Alex couldn't see Jack’s face in the dark, but he still did his best to give him a goodnight kiss when the younger had returned to the bed.

“I love you so much,” Jack heard him whisper, and the lump forming in his throat almost caused him to not be able to say it right back.

It sounded weak when Jack eventually said it, but Alex just figured that was due to the fact that it had been a long night, and he tugged Jack into his side and wrapped both arms around the thin frame he was so very proud to proclaim as his own.

Jack couldn't sleep after that. Alex’s gentle breaths would normally lull him to a sweet repose, but his mind kept running over his lie. He felt worse than he had before, but he also felt better, in a way. Sure, he’d have to live with the constant reminder that this perfect human he was so god damn lucky to date would never know that he’d been cheated on, but… that was sort of good. He wouldn't have to hurt Alex like the way he himself was hurting.

He absolutely hated to admit it, but he realized it was true: sometimes it is easier to lie.