Status: Ongoing

Boston Garden High School

Drunk Pranks

Brad pulled his blue Ford up into the parking lot of the high school. As he got out and locked his car, he noticed Patrice lying in his own car with his head back and eyes covered with what looked to be a dark purple facecloth. Brad knocked on Patrice's window, which startled him and he rolled down his window.
"Bergy, man. You scared me."
"I feel like shit, Marchy. My head hurts like nothing else."
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" Brad asked, genuine concern coming from his voice.
"No. Yes. No. Kind of." Patrice said, unsure whether having a wicked hangover constituted as 'being sick'.
"Bergy" Brad said, putting his hand through Patrice's car window and on his shoulder. "You're one of my best friends. You can tell me anything." He said kindly.
"I got super drunk down on Boylston Street last night and now I'm hungover."
Just like that, all Brad's pity for Patrice went away as he took his hand swiftly out of Patrice's car. "Should have thought about that before you got drunk on a school night." He said sternly. "Come on. Unless you want to get into trouble for being late like Johnny and the others yesterday." Patrice rolled up his window and left his car.
"The sun burns my retinas, Marchy!" Patrice said, now almost on the verge of tears.
"Come on, man." Brad began walking towards the school and Patrice locked his car and followed.
"Oh man!" Patrice facepalmed. "How did your fight go last night?" He asked.
"I won, but I sprained my ankle. I'm wearing an ankle brace today."
"You're not limping. Or on crutches."
"It wasn't a bad sprain, Patrice." There it was. Brad had used his first name. Patrice knew he was out of Brad's good books now. They entered the school and saw kids talking to each other at their lockers, groups of kids gathered in the hallways, and some even heading into their classrooms. Patrice and Brad though, were headed for the teacher's lounge. When they got there they found most of the teachers crowded around one corner of the room and David passed out, face down on the couch with a bottle of vodka in his hand, wet pants and vomit dripping from his mouth, while the janitor was cleaning up and scrubbing out his vomit pool from the carpet. Torey and Milan stood in the corner, both drinking coffee and both looking like hell. Their faces had no color and they both had dark circles under their eyes. Milan looked worse though as he had bandages wrapped around both his hands.
"What the hell happened?" Brad hissed to Johnny.
"Oh Marchy. Marchy, Marchy, Marchy. You missed out on a good story. So Krech, Torey, Bergy and Looch decided to go on a pub crawl down Boylston Street last night after the movie, but only made it as far as McGreevey's-where Torey took a shit and clogged up one of the toilets. Just a little further down the street, David pukes everywhere-even down his shirt. Then Torey cries at the site of the Marathon Bombings-even going so far as to fling himself in the middle of the road and roll around at the finish line. Add a lot of falling over drunk, giggling, wild mood swings and almost getting crushed by a car nearly every time they crossed the road and bam. You got a... Pretty weird night out." Johnny whispered.
"My god." Brad said quietly, stifling his laughter. "I wish I was there. That sounded epic!"
"They called it quits at midnight and had to get the MBTA home... From Copley!" Johnny desperately tried to keep his voice to a whisper.
"Still sounds epic!" Brad said and they both laughed loudly. David stirred, but didn't wake.
"So how was your fight?" Johnny asked.
"I won, but sprained my ankle."
"Damn. Tough luck, Marchy."
"So... How long has Krech been there?"
Zdeno bent down to whisper "I don't know. He was here when I got here. And there was an open window. I don't think he went home last night."
"Hey Z, your eyes are red and puffy. Have you been crying?" Johnny said, looking at Zdeno's face.
"No... Huh. Better go to the doctor for some eye drops." Zdeno muttered. He had, of course, been crying. Since Patrice reminded him of his accident, Zdeno was having a hard time getting it out of his head.
Last night:
"Zdeno, poď do postele." Zdeno's wife Tatiana said, tapping his side of the bed to try to encourage him in. (Zdeno, come to bed.)
"Budem tam do teraz, Tatiana." Zdeno said examining his face in the mirror of his en suite bathroom. (I'll be there now, Tatiana)
"Zdeno, prosím. Sa môžete pozrieť na seba zajtra. To je jedenásť v noci." By now, Tatiana was visibly annoyed. (Zdeno, please. You can look at yourself tomorrow. It's eleven at night).
"Tatiana, mám trochu ťažké časy práve teraz." Zdeno bent over his sink and sobbed silently to himself. (Tatiana, I'm having a hard time right now)
"Zdeno ... Si v poriadku?" Tatiana noticed Zdeno's shoulders heaving up and down and got out of bed (Zdeno... Are you alright?).
"Druh. Pamätať Patrice nehode? Keď takmer zomrel?" Zdeno asked, his face still buried in the sink (Kind of. Do you remember Patrice's accident? When he almost died?).
"Oh Zdeno, prosím, hovoriť s niekým o tom." Tatiana said, gently putting her arm around Zdeno's shoulder (Oh Zdeno, please see somebody about this.). "Je to naozaj ovplyvňuje vás." She began rubbing his shoulder supportively (It's really affecting you).
"Som v pohode-budem v poriadku. Neboj sa o mňa." Zdeno took his head out the sink and smiled weakly (I'm fine-I'll be alright. Don't worry about me.).
"Ak ste si istí, že ..." Tatiana said uncertainly, returning the same weak smile (If you're sure). They both returned to their bed, Tatiana climbing in one side and Zdeno, the other side, and went to sleep. Tatiana went to sleep, Zdeno cried most of the night and went to sleep an hour before he was supposed to get up.
Present Time:
"So how long do you think Krech has been out of it?" Bartkowski asked Zdeno, but he was still in a trance.
"I don't know." Greg said after noticing Chara's trance. "But it looks like a while. Like Z just said, he might not even have gone home last night." Zdeno suddenly emerged from his trance and whimpered, but nobody seemed to notice.
Daniel picked up the yard long measuring stick that was propped up by the doorway and walked over to David and poked him with it, gently. David moaned and turned exposing his vomit covered t-shirt-confirming to all that he'd been there all night-but didn't wake up. Daniel poked him harder. David moaned again. Daniel rolled his eyes and dropped the stick on the ground.
The teachers all giggled at this, David was really out of it. Adam pulled a Sharpie out from his satchel and took the top off as he made his way over to David. He grinned wickedly and drew vulgar words on David's face. Dennis took out his scissors from his satchel and began to gently cut David's hair as he attempted to stifle his own laughter. What he was unable to explain, however, was why he keeps scissors in his satchel when he teaches German.
Tuukka opened the fridge, where they keep the coffee supplies and took out the whipped cream Greg bought yesterday and almost everyone snickered. Tuukka crept up to David and put whipped cream on his hand and his groin, for good measure. Everyone giggled as Greg stood behind David and blew gently on his obscenity covered forehead. It went to plan as David smeared the whipped cream all over his face. They decided not to pull the warm water prank, seeing as how David's pants-and the couch-were already wet. The bell rang and David once again stirred, but didn't wake.
By the end of first period, David still lay on the couch, but had turned over. He was once again lying on his front.
"How long do you think he's gonna be out?" Jarome asked.
"I don't know." Zdeno said. "He's never really done this before. It hasn't happened."
"Do you think he'll wake up soon?"
"Tuukka, I have NO idea. I hope it's soon, his physics students are really missing out."
"I know." Tuukka said, shaking his head. "Chris had to cover for him."
"If this were a normal week I'd have to cover for him. Chris doesn't know math." Zdeno shakes his head and looks at David as the other teachers carried on playing pranks on him.
Dougie acquired a condom from the school nurse, opened it up and spat in it, then set it down next to David.
Jordan made a run to the CVS about a block away and returned with a razor and some lipstick and shaved off one of David's eyebrows. He threw a lipstick to Daniel who smeared it over David's lips, while Jordan put lipstick on his own lips and kissed David's face repeatedly. This was to tie-in with the condom prank. Daniel borrowed Dennis' scissors and made a small cut in David's t-shirt and ripped it the rest of the way. He wrote 'thanks for last night' on David's chest in lipstick.
Bartkowski decided to write a note for David, tying in with Dougie, Jordan and Daniel's prank, making it one large and elaborate prank.
"So, 'dear David...?" Bartkowski asked.
"No way!" Tuukka said. "Write something like 'dear Honey-Munchkin'."
"And then say 'I had a great time last night." Daniel said.
"Emphasize the 'great'!" Greg added.
"Make it short and sweet, say 'can't wait to see you again.'" Chris said, giggling.
"What's the name gonna be?" Bartkowski asked, giggling desperately.
"Porn name." Tuukka said.
"No!" Dennis protested. "Make it a drag queen name." There was a chorus of 'aahs' filling the room and then a lot of snickering.
"Roxie!" Greg shouted out. David moaned and Greg put his hand over his mouth.
"Belle!" Dougie said quieter.
"Sugar!" Tuukka said. Greg, Dougie and Tuukka glared at each other that their name wasn't going to be chosen.
"We'll smash 'em together." Bartkowski said, still writing. "She'll be Roxie Sugarbelle." He finished writing. "There, what do you guys think of this?
'To my wonderful Honey Munchkin, David,
I had a GREAT time last night. I hope that we can one day do it again. Here's my number: 617 whatever and I can't wait to see you again.
Love Roxie Sugarbelle'." Bartkowski put the paper down. "I made up a cell number. And Jordan, can you kiss the letter, make it seem more authentic?" Jordan put lipstick on again and kissed the bottom of the letter. He then folded up the letter and carefully slid it into the back pocket of David's jeans.
The bell rang and just like that, break time was over.
By now, it was lunch period and David still hadn't woken up, so Zdeno-getting into the pranking spirit-went down to the cafeteria and took some Tabasco. Brad-also in the pranking spirit-went down to the nurse's office to borrow the wheelchair. It took Brad, Zdeno and Tuukka to load David into the wheelchair. Brad giggled as he and Zdeno pushed David down the hallway as concerned students looked on. Tuukka and all the other teachers followed, curious as to what Brad and Zdeno could possibly be planning
"Mr. Krejci felt ill in the teacher's lounge this morning." Zdeno said to the students as they walked down the hallway. "He threw up on himself and collapsed just now. We are taking him to Mass General and we think he may have meningitis, so stay away and don't touch him, don't let him breathe on you... And enjoy your lunch period." Zdeno smiled wickedly to himself upon looking back at the droves of frightened and panicked high-schoolers.
"Where are we going now?" Greg asked, once they left the school.
"We're going to the Boston Common." Brad said.
During the 20 minute long trip, Brad realized that David was semi-conscious and so he convinced him that he was driving in a car. Brad successfully wangled $150 off David by telling him on every street corner, that he needed gas money. Once they arrived at the Boston Common, they left David sitting-rather, slouching-in the wheelchair alone and they all went to hide except for Zdeno. He replaced the vodka bottle in David's hand with a bottle of Tabasco and then poured a rather liberal amount of the hot sauce in David's mouth. David felt his mouth burning and poured the bottle of hot sauce in his mouth, not realizing it was hot sauce. Zdeno crouched down low behind the wheelchair and watched the fun begin.
David sat up, bolt upright and screamed. He then got up from the wheelchair and ran about screaming things like 'my mouth is on fire', 'call an ambulance' and 'for god's sake, why won't anyone help me' before he collapsed on the grass moaning about his head. Brad and the others began laughing loudly.
"And that, Krech, is why you should NEVER get drunk on a school day!" Zdeno laughed.
♠ ♠ ♠
Mostly jokey with a bit of seriousness. The moral of the story is... Never get drunk on a school night.
And I won't be updating daily now, since I was sick and now I'm better and can go to college again.