So Long and Good Night

GERARD'S P.O.V

I watched Dad stand from the bench of the table. He looked older and worried...like something had been eating at him for years..

"Gerard." He whispered in the same voice I know but had forgotten about. By this time Mom was standing with him.

"D-Dad...Mom...Is that you guys?" I nearly choked out, shuffling backwards and gripping Frankie's hand even tighter in mine.

"Yeah Gerard...It's me...it's us." Dad half smiled, stepping forward. The closer he moved the further back I went.

"Why are you here?" I snapped, the same rage as that night when I came home from school bubbling up in my veins.

"We haven't seen you in years, honey." Mom's sweet voice answered as she made her way to stand in front of me. Before I could stop her she had her short arms wrapped around my neck. With my free arm I hesitantly half-hugged her back.

"I called them right after I got off the phone with you Monday." Mikey admitted, looking down slightly. I shot him a death glare.

"I still don't understand why you're here, Dad. It surely can't be because you want to meet my husband." I hissed, looking him up and down in disgust.

"No Gerard, that's not the reason. I came down here because I wanted to see my son-in-law AND you. And I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"You honestly think I'm going to forgive you just like that?! You kicked me out the night I came home for Christmas break all because you got called by a guy who claimed he was my boyfriend when he wasn't!" I yelped.

"Gerard, can't you just forgive me? I was stupid and scared and I didn't know how to react other than the way I did.." he replied.

"Yeah and you reacted that way because you're a homophobic bitch that can't even accept his own son for who he is! That's why the only person that ever knew until now was Helena!" I spat, letting go of Frankie's hand and turning around, storming off down the path.

I heard Dad calling after me but I just kept walking. I hated myself for what I had said but I knew it's what needed to be said.

I don't think I can ever forgive him...

***

I lower myself down to the curb still boiling with rage.

In a poor attempt at calming myself down and to keep the tears that are burning behind my eyes from rolling down my cheeks, I pulled the pack of menthols from my pocket along with a lighter. I dropped the cigarette between my lips and lit it up before taking a long drag, my muscles relaxing slowly as I breathed in the toxic smoke.

That's when I heard the unmistakable stomping of Frankie's boots walk up behind me. I didn't even look over to him when he sat down next to me.

"What was that all about?" he finally whispered, lightly taking my hand in his.

I looked over to him and sighed, feeling the tears well up behind my eyes once again. As I flicked my butt into the street I felt the first warm drops rolling down my cheek as Frank wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his body. I laid my head on his chest as he rubbed small circled into my back, kissing my hair before resting his chin on my hair.

Several minutes passed when I heard more sets of footsteps...three to be exact...Mikey, Ray and Bob all walked up and sat around Frankie and I. I looked up to see Mikes sitting next to me...that's when something terrible popped into my mind...

"Mikey...did you tell them?..." I asked, wiping the tears from under my eyes.

"Tell who what?"

"Did you tell Mom and Dad about...." I trailed off, shielding the right side of my mouth before mouthing 'cancer.'

That's when Mikey looked down, his hand going to roughly rub the back of his neck before his fingers were pushed through his hair...those were his tells.

"Why would you do that?!" I yelped.

"Well they asked how you were and I couldn't just lie to our parents, Gerard!" he returned, yelling back.

"Well not telling them isn't lying dip shit!"

"Yeah, It kinds is!-"

"Whoa, what are you two talking about?" Ray asked, interrupting me.

"Wha-? oh...N-Nothing, Ray...I-I'll talk to you and Bob about it later." I sighed, looking back to my lap.

It really wasn't Mikey's fault...he was never good at keeping secrets like that, especially when it came to our parents.

"Okay, so what's going on between you and your dad?" Frankie finally asked, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

I sighed once again, debating on weather I spill the story or not.

"It was my senior year in college and I had just gotten him for winter break." I started, felling the tears start as well.

"It was after dinner and Dad called me out onto the deck. Apparently a month or so before I came home a guy called the house. He claimed he was my boyfriend and told my parents he couldn't reach me so he called them."

"Well let me just tell you this guy and I had a one night stand basically. I had gone out with my friends after finals and we had gotten a bit tipsy. That's when this really hot kid walked up to me and started flirting. I gave him my number then one thing led to another and by 2:30 in the morning we were fucking each other in the bathroom stall at this club."

"But anyway, he called Mom and Dad and Dad wan;t happy about it...at all. So a-after dinner he took me out back and started screaming at me for being gay and having this guy call the house. A-and...and he kicked me out that night....and I haven't seen both of them since then and I just can't stand to see him...." I concluded, breathing heavily to try and stop myself for crying.

Everyone was silent as Frank pulled me into himself once again, shushing me quietly.

"H-how did they react to you telling them?.." I asked quietly to Michael.

"Well...by the time I hung up...Mom was crying and Dad sounded like he was a-about to.." Mikey sighed.

Things went quiet between all of us before I heard heels clicking along the side walk. My head shot up to be met with Mom standing behind me with Dad following in toe.

"Gerard..c-can the three of us talk...alone?" My asked, looking quite upset. I just couldn't say no to my mother.

I nodded slightly and rose slowly from the pavement, standing next to Mom as she put her hand between my shoulder blades and guided me back down the path.

"Mikey told us about-." I cut her off.

"I know. And I'm not happy about it."

"Well we would have had to have known sooner or later. I wouldn't want to see you at a visitation not knowing you had cancer until then."

"I know.." I sighed.

"You're father also told me what happened between the two of you that night.." she trailed off.

"And, Gerard...You can't imagine how sorry I am for what I said...how I reacted.." he finished.

"I realize that you know you mess up Dad. Okay? I get that. But forgiving you isn't going to be as easy as snapping your fingers for me."

"Well I really don't see that the big deal is.."

"The big deal? The big deal is just the way you reacted. Have you ever been called a faggot by your own father, the man that you look up to most in life. Have you ever been kicked out of the only fucking house you knew just for being yourself about something that you couldn't even help? Have you ever felt like you lost one of the only people left you could look up to that even knew your first name, Dad? That's what the big deal is. You kicked me out of the house for being myself and loving who I want to love. You were the biggest person in my life after Helena died...and then you taught me that you are a Catholic Homophobic man that can't even accept his own fucking son for what he is! And I don't think that I can ever forgive you for that!" I hissed, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

It was clear that I had left my father speechless because he wouldn't even look me in the eye.

"Oh, sweetheart." Mom cooed, going in for a hug. I pushed her away, still looking at Dad.

"I hope you're happy with losing a son you bitch, because you sure didn't do shit for trying to keep me." I yelled before turning around and walking out onto the side walk.

I didn't even acknowledge the three men sitting on the cub as I turned and started stomping off in the opposite direction.

"Gerard?" I heard Frankie call after me but I just kept walking. Soon, his footsteps were running up behind me before he matched my strides.

"I hate that mother fucking cock-sucker." I muttered, shaking my head.

"What did he do?"

"He expects me to forgive him like that! He put me through years of depression that I'm still not fully over and he thinks that once he says sorry that everything will go back to it's happy, normal self." I replied. After that everything went quiet between the two of us besides my occasional sniffling.

We finally reached the apartment and I pushed my way through the door, instantly going back to my bedroom and flopping down to the mattress.

Frank followed me in and closed the door before plopping down next to me.

"I really do hate everyone on this goddamn, mother fucking, cock-knocking world." I mumbled, a new wave of tears sliding down my cheeks.

"I know you do, baby..I know you do." Frankie sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him.

I looked up to be met with his gorgeous face; his deep hazel eyes, his cute nose, his full, pink lips and the smile that they nearly always wore.

I slowly felt the tears fade away as I was filled with lust and compassion. Without any warning to Frank or even myself I leaned up and smashed our lips together, locking them into perfect place.

This kiss was different than anything I'd ever felt...It wasn't slopping like a lot of them were and it wasn't fully passionate either...but it was full of something that I couldn't quite place my finger on.

Before long I was broken from my thoughts be Frank's hand snaking down my crotch where he began to rub.

Our clothes only lasted a few seconds before they were on the floor it a pile and Frankie was still laying next to me, his lips still on mine.

***

FRANK'S P.O.V

Without breaking the pulsing connection of our now lustful kiss, I worked my way on top of Gerard, straddling his waist.

"I want you in me." he mumbled into my mouth. I didn't need to be asked twice before I was kneeling at the foot of the bed, Gerard's long legs draped over my shoulders as I pushed myself into him.

He hissed in pleasureful pain as I began thrusting. I leaned over his body and began kissing at the tender skin in the crook of his neck, working my way across his chest and thrusting harder and harder.

I felt Gerard's back arch from the bed and before long his moans stopped and he was trembling.

"C'mon baby I wanna hear you scream for me." I whispered in a playfully husky voice, just thinking he was trying to silence himself.

That's when I looked up.

His heard was pushed back and his eyes were rolled up inside his head. There were white bubbles of saliva rolling out of the corner of his mouth.

Gerard was having a seizure.