Fatum

Why, oh why did my life actually begin to get interesting in my last year at this school?

I had been perfectly happy breezing my way through these seven years, always there but rarely seen, but NO. I actually had to do something with myself this year. Couldn’t fate have waited just like…one more year before everything picked up?

As it turns out, fate didn’t work that way.

Now, I’m not saying my life has always been boring. Believe me it was far from that. Constantly being in and out of St.Mungo’s, and just being Lily’s friend made it quite difficult to be classified as ‘boring’, but it had always been quite routine.

Nothing changed much in my life. I never got sicker, or better in that case. Lily was always a little bit crazy, and Livia and Lottie never changed. So why was it that everything felt so different now?
~~~
It was the day after the infamous ‘date’ day. It was a rather warm autumn afternoon. Many students were lounging around the courtyards working on homework and studying with their friends. A group of third year Ravenclaws were playing Wizards Chess underneath a large tree.

“HA! Take that you gnome!” yelled a small, mousy looking boy. As his friend groaned and handed over what looked like a bag full of chocolate frogs.

Third year insults were always amusing. I should see how Lottie would respond if I called her a gnome. Hmm…

I was walking through the courtyards to the Great Hall to find Lily as she had promised to help me on my Potions essay that I was struggling with. That girl was truly magical when it came to potions.

I pulled my Gryffindor robe closer around me as I left the sunny courtyards and entered into the slightly cooler halls of Hogwarts.

I walked through the halls until reaching the Great Hall, pushing the huge doors open and instantly spotting Lily amongst the other Gryffindor’s at our table. Most of the students in the Great Hall were older, the ones not wanting to be bothered by the young ones out in the courtyards, or have Madam Pince watching their every move in the library.

Lily and I could relate to them.

Seeing as Pince and I already had a rather complicated relationship, I liked to steer clear as much I possibly could. Which was rather sad, seeing as I rather loved libraries. Just not libraries with crazy banshee woman guarding them at every waking hour.

“Well good morning Miss Alice, your coffee is right there.” Lily gestured to a mug sitting by her as I walked up.

“Lily, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s hardly morning.” I sat down across from her and set my bag down on the table. “However, I will gladly take the coffee seeing as there is never not a good time for coffee.”

Lily just smirked and took out a few of her own books as well. “Now, you need help on your potions essay, right?” She asked, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

At this I let out a low groan, leaning my head back slightly, “Yes. Yes I need help on my potions essay, that stupid stupid class.” I took a long sip of coffee and sat there for a moment, letting the caffeine rush into my veins.

“Honestly Lils, I don’t think I would have gotten an Exceeds Expectations on my potions exam last year without you. You were a brutal tutor, do you know that?” She had been completely brutal. One night she hadn’t let me sleep until I had memorized the exact properties of every single ingredient in a love potion. She’s mental.

Lily grinned and did a small happy dance, “I am quite proud of my teaching. If times were different I think I would do well training to be a professor at the school. But, time are not different and we need as many Aurors as possible out there.” Her voice took on a hint of sadness.

I knew Lily was incredibly worried about the wizarding war. We all were. Sometimes I found myself forgetting that outside of this school there was a war going on. Of course, it wasn’t like one of those muggle wars that were incredibly common. Their wars were constant destruction and death.

Wizarding wars were rarely seen, and this particular one was slow in progress, and filled with anticipation of where You-Know-Who would strike next. No one knew how powerful he was, as the war was only just beginning.

“You’ll make a great Auror Lils.” I said in a soothing voice, patting her wrist lightly, “Watch, you’ll put Potter to shame.” Everyone knew James planned to be an Auror.

“Oh of course I will.” Lily said with a smile, flicking open her textbook to the chapter we were working on.

I saw the opportunity arise to bring up something that had been nagging at the back of my mind since yesterday’s little date. “Speaking of Potter, can I ask you something about him?” I asked, quite cautiously as I knew he was a sore subject for Lily.

To be fair, she had perfectly good reasons to dislike James. He had tormented Severus Snape back when he and Lily had still been friends, had constantly poked fun at random things about her from year one all the way to year five, and yet had had the nerve to ask her out last year and be upset when she had rejected him.

Lily only tensed slightly, “Yes, what do you want to know?”

“Well…you two seem to be acting differently around each other and I was just wondering, you know, if something was maybe going on?” I peeked out at her over the top of my coffee mug, as if the drink could protect me from Lily’s rage.

Surprisingly, she did not lash out at me. In fact, she blushed! Lily Evans, blushing at the topic of James? What the bloody hell was going on?!

“Nothing is going on. I don’t know why you would possibly suggest that something was going on. James and I have been studying together recently, but that’s all. Turns out he is a lot better at Dada than I am, so I asked if he could teach me a few things in return for me helping him out with a few potions assignments. That’s all.”

I would have believed her, if not for the constant hair tugging. Hair tugging was Lily’s sign that she was fibbing.

“Lily, be honest with me. It’s me, Alice. You tell me everything.” I begged, setting my empty mug to the side.

Lily let out a small, defeated sigh and looked around the table, checking to see if anyone could possibly be eavesdropping on our little chat. “Fine. But you have to promise me you won’t make a big deal out of this, alright Al? Promise me.”

I was stunned. I hadn’t seen Lily this uncomfortable since fourth year when Max Aroch (a Ravenclaw in the same year as us), had confessed his love for Lily in the middle of the courtyard. Lily had fled the scene after stammering out an apology to Max, and neither of us had spoken to him since.
“I promise.”

Lily bit her lip and looked down at her hands in her lap, “Well, there might be a small possibility that I have developed somewhat of a, as the second years would call it, crush on James Potter.” She mumbled, her eyes flicking from me to her hands a few times.

My eyes must have bugged out of my head for a moment I was so shocked. “You do?!” I screeched, causing Lily to glare at me and I lowered my voice repeating, “You do? Lily why didn’t you tell me? I knew there was something different about you two!”

“There is nothing different, which is why I didn’t tell you. I rejected him last year, and I know he is entirely over me.”

I giggled, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that Lils. Have you thought about telling him? Heaven knows we need some good romance to talk about in our group.”

Lily looked at me as if I had suddenly grown large blue boils all over me face, “Are you mad? Why would I tell him? Besides, with the way Livia’s been talking about Frank recently I think we’ll have far too much romance in our group. Though I don’t believe romance is the right word to describe what Livia’s intentions are.”

“Really? Are things with Livia and Longbottom going along that quickly? She hasn’t mentioned anything to me.” I said with a shrug. Livia usually loved to brag about her one-night stands, but then again I hadn’t spoken to her much lately. She hardly would have had time to tell me every detail, and that was the only way Liv ever told stories. Frank hadn’t mentioned anything, why would he? He and I were nothing close to friends.

“Livia Longbottom.” I heard Lily say, pulling me out of my thoughts, “I always did feel bad for the guy, with a last name like that? His poor children, if he has any. I bet anything they’ll get bullied having that for a last name. Unless of course they’re just like Frank.”

No one ever did mess with Frank, once in first year a group of fourth year Slytherins had backed Frank up against a wall and were tormenting him because of his last name. I remember that day clearly, I had been hiding around the corner, watching in awe. Of course, I had been too afraid of the older students back then to even try to help, but that day had given me a bit more respect for Frank.
He had been pressed against the wall, the Slytherin boys were closing in when Frank had brushed his hair back slightly and stuck his chest out. Of course, back then he had been on the chubbier side, so it was an almost comical sight. “Make fun of my last name all you want, but I’ll let you know my family is a very old pureblood family, and we know how to defend ourselves.” He had said, his pre-pubescent voice higher pitched than the Slytherin boys.

They had only laughed and one tall, gangly boy had stepped forward and pushed Frank into a wall. I remember gasping. Frank must have heard me, because he had looked over towards me, and I must have been mistaken but it seemed like he had smiled. Right after the moment had passed, Frank lunged forward into the wall of Slytherins, yelling out a war cry which had probably seemed very heroic to him at the time. His fists went flying out in all directions until he miraculously caught the nose of the tall boy.

The sound of bone breaking had sent a shiver down my spine, and the boys immediately backed off, yelling at Frank that they would get him. But they never had, and no one had really ever bothered Frank after that. I had to give it to him, he had a lot of courage.

That was probably the most I had interacted with Frank ever until this year, that little maybe smile.
I snapped out of my little blast to the past moment when I noticed Lily waving her hand in front of my face. “Hello? Earth to Alice? Jeez, sometimes your name really does fit you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, giving her a quizzical look. I just noticed that my coffee cup had filled back up and I reached for it greedily.

“Alice in Wonderland of course! Come on Al, I know you’re a pureblood and all, but I know I’ve shown you this one before! Come on, not only did I let you borrow the book in second year, we also watched the movie at my house two summers ago!” Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air as if I was a lost case.

“Oh! You mean the one where she falls down the hole and goes absolutely bonkers? Yeah, I loved that one! Such a cute little book. The movie was good too.” I had loved the book, movies were still such a weird concept to me, though heaven knows how many Lily’s made me go to in the summers.

Lily laughed, shaking her head, “Yes, that one. You’re just as spacy as her sometimes!” She started to flip through her books again.

“I am not. At least, not usually. You just catch me at my worst moments.” I pointed out, grabbing out a new quill.

“Do I? I was just under the impression that you rarely have good moments.” Lily teased.

“Okay smartass, let’s get to work. Now…what the bloody fuck is this assignment even about?”
~~~~
Two hours and many coffees later I was nearly done my essay, and no longer needed Lily’s help to finish it.

I had decided to walk back up to the common room and see if I could find Lottie, she was always good to go to if you were bored, and I refused to work on anymore assignments until after supper. A girl needs a break sometimes.

I was walking up a flight of stairs when a voice called out my name. I turned and saw Sirius racing to catch up with me.

I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t flutter.

“Fortescue!” He called out, “Where’ve ya been all day? I haven’t seen you since you left Three Broomsticks.”

Sirius finally was at the same stair as I was and he took a moment to brush aside his hair which was caught in his beautiful eyelashes. Oh…is that weird?

“Oh, well…I was busy. Lily was helping me with my potions essay.” I explained, continuing to walk up to the staircase. “Though, to be fair, I haven’t seen you since I left Three Broomsticks either so it’s not really my fault.”

Sirius smiled, “Yeah, sorry about that. I would’ve liked to walk back with you, but I was a bit distracted.”

I rolled my eyes, yes he had been distracted. By the busty bimbo of a waitress. No, that was rude of me, she could have easily been a busty smart waitress. Though it would make me feel a lot better if she was just slightly on the bimbo side of the scale.

“Yes, I noticed your distraction. She seemed to be quite distracted by you as well.” I huffed out, walking slightly ahead of Sirius.

“She did, didn’t she?” Sirius asked proudly, “We’re going out tomorrow, just a walk around Hogsmeade, maybe she can sneak us into one of the back rooms of the restaurant. Man I can’t wait to get my hands on her…”

He didn’t finish his sentence as I had whipped myself around, gritting my teeth at Sirius, “Sirius! I don’t care!” I yelled, surprising even myself. “Do you seriously think I want to hear about how much you want to grope some girl’s breasts?”

Sirius looked dumbfounded, he took a step down, “I’m sorry…I didn’t think it would bother you.” He ran a hand through his hair and gave me an odd look, “You’re not, jealous, are you Alice?” He asked, his mouth twitching up at the corners into a small smirk.

I froze, why had I lashed out at him? I shouldn’t have done that. I was usually so calm. It was so stupid of me to speak up.

“Jealous? Of you?” I scoffed, “I’m sorry Sirius but not every girl in the school is in love with you, I know it’s hard for you to hear it but it’s true.” I turned back around so he wouldn’t see how red my face was getting and started back towards the common room.

I didn’t turn back around, but I could feel Sirius’ eyes piercing my back. He didn’t follow after me but I knew he’d be discussing this with me later on.

I finally reached the common room, and leaned against the wall beside the Fat Lady. I let myself catch my breath and slowly slid down the wall, letting my feet slide out in front of me.

“You okay over there Alice?”

I looked up and saw Livia sprawled on the couch. No wait, Liv was sprawled on top of Frank who was sprawled on the couch.

Typical.

I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes as I hauled myself to my feet. I shook my head, “I’m fine.” I muttered, as I was pretty sure Liv wasn’t really paying attention to me.

“Oh, that’s good.” Liv replied with a giggle, flicking her hair and sitting up so she was straddling Frank’s waist. Oh Merlin, couldn’t they find some privacy?

“Do you two need a room?” I spat at the two of them, as I began to walk to my dormitory.

“Yes, we probably do. Would you care to join us?” I heard Frank respond and I turned to see him sitting up, watching me. He winked at me and smirked.

Seriously? Why was he acting like such an ass?

I was still too frazzled from my little freak out at Sirius that I couldn’t even think of a response. I felt completely drained, so I furrowed my eyebrows together and glared at Frank before darting off to my dorm.
~~~~
Unfortunately, Lottie hadn’t been in the dorm so I had spent the rest of the day hiding under my covers and working on homework. I didn’t want to go back to the common room and see Liv and Frank practically grinding on each other, or bump into Sirius in the halls and have him confront me.
I decided it was safe to leave at supper. Everyone would be heading down to eat, and would be too busy eating to talk anyways.

I wandered out of my room, looking around before declaring it safe to leave the common room. I spotted a familiar voice behind me and I turned to see Remus and James. “Hi Alice.” Remus greeted me, as kind as always.

“Hi Remus, hi James.” I nodded to both of them, giving them a small smile.

James patted Remus on the back, “Hey, I’m going to find Sirius, I’ll see you at lunch.” He told his friend, and gave me a quick nod before hurrying off to find Sirius.

Remus turned to me and smiled, “Mind if I walk with you?” He asked, scratching his head.
“Not at all.”

I had always gotten along well with Remus, even though neither of us talked to each other often. We had a bit of a connection, as both of us could be found in the hospital wing quite often. There was a bit of an unspoken agreement between the two of us. I never mentioned his visits to the hospital, and he never mentioned mine. “How have you been doing Remus?” I asked him, attempting to make conversation, “I haven’t seen much of you this year.”

He smiled gently and nudged my arm with his elbow, “I was about to ask you the same thing, I haven’t seen you since that little incident by the lake. You’re feeling all right?”

I nodded and smiled back at him, “Oh don’t you worry about me besides, I’m completely fine.” I reassured him, nudging him back.

Remus gave me a quick once over, clearly not accepting my answer but he shrugged anyways and continued walking down the staircases.

The rest of our walk was in silence, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was oddly comforting being with Remus.

Once we reached the Great Hall, we split off into our separate paths, both for the Gryffindor table, but I was heading toward the far end where Lily, Liv and Lottie were sitting while Remus and his friends were all more to the middle of the table.

“Did you just walk in here with Remus?” Liv asked curiously, checking her hair in a silver spoon. “You know, I always thought the two of you would make a darling couple. Don’t you think so Lily?” She didn’t even look up as she twirled her blonde ringlets. Of course, her hair wasn’t naturally curly.

Lily looked up from the book she had tucked under the table, “Alice and Remus? No, I disagree.” She gave no further explanation than that, and I was sort of grateful that she didn’t indulge Liv’s matchmaking tendencies.

Liv sighed and finally set down the spoon, “Honestly you three, you’re so dreadfully boring. Just once I want to have boy talk with someone other than my diary.” She whined, leaning her chin on her hand and flicking her spoon back and forth.

As the food appeared on the table, Lottie picked up a pea and tossed it at Liv’s head. “Just because we’re not airhead, boy-obsessed teenagers doesn’t mean you can insult us.”

Her twin groaned, “You can’t call me an airhead, I had higher marks than you on most of my exams last year and you know it. Honestly Lottie, you might not be blonde anymore but it doesn’t make you a genius.”

“Neither of you are geniuses. I’m the genius. Remember?” Lily said, though she had yet to take her eyes off her book.

“What the bloody hell is so interesting in that book?” Liv raised an eyebrow and tried to look over the table at Lily’s lap but to no avail as Lily snapped the book shut and placed it beside her.

Lily gave Liv a bored look and began to fill her plate with ham and vegetables. “Don’t be so nosey.”
I could tell the question had set Lily off a bit as she was biting at her bottom lip. Her shoulders were pushed back as if she was preparing to duel. I had known Lily long enough to see the signs.

Ever so cautiously I moved my head over and down to catch a glimpse at the title of the book sitting between Lily and me. The Art of War, was written in a bold white print across the top of the book, with a black and white, unmoving picture of ancient warriors in battle.

It was a muggle book, but what was Lily doing reading it? Since when had she become interested in muggle war tactics?

Deciding it wasn’t the best place to ask her, I put the thought to the back of my mind and focused on piling as much ham as I could onto my plate. Ham was delicious.

As I cut into my meat I felt curiosity tugging away at me, and I had to ask Liv, “So, what’s up with you and Frank?”

Liv looked startled, I had never really been interested in her love affairs. I was always off to the side, telling her that she shouldn’t give herself so easily. I was never too great at trusting people. I still found it difficult to trust the twins at times.

“What do you mean? Like, are we a thing?” She asked, tucking a stray curl behind her ear and glancing around to make sure no one was listening. Though I doubted she would actually mind if someone was eavesdropping, Liv loved attention.

I nodded and took a bite out of a carrot. Mm…the vegetables always tasted like they were fresh out of the garden.

“Well, we’ve decided not to label it. I think we get along well, and I wouldn’t mind actually being a legitimate couple but Frank refuses. He said he doesn’t do relationship which isn’t much of a surprise.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal but from the constant leg fidgeting it was clear that Livia really did like him, “He wants it to be only physical. Fine by me, the physical part is amazing.”

Lottie, who was sitting beside Liv, rolled her eyes and took a long sip of her pumpkin juice. She may act like her sister was dreadful and annoying, but Lottie was constantly worried about Liv. Liv was more sensitive than she let on.

“As long as you’re happy with it.” I smiled lightly and went back to eating.

Once lunch was done, the four of us began to walk back to the common room. Liv and Lily were walking slightly ahead with their arms linked, their hair swinging side to side as they discussed Liv’s newest discovery in astronomy class. She was the only one of us taking it.

“Where were you all day?” Lottie asked, poking my hand a few times.

“Me? Lily had to help me on my potions essay which took up quite a bit of time, and then I was delayed coming back up to the common room when I had a bit of a spat with a certain boy. And then I spent the rest of the day hiding in the common room because of said spat with said certain boy.” I explained.

“Is the previously mentioned boy also known as your future husband?” Her voice was slightly lower and she leaned in a bit closer.

I gave Lottie a stiff nod as I watched a Hufflepuff boy and Ravenclaw girl cuddling on one of the benches in the hall. Oh, how I wish.

“And what was said spat about?”

I let out a dramatic sigh and let my shoulders sink down, “I may or may not have gotten rather angry when he told me about his date with a waitress. This waitress is very pretty, by the way.”

“Alice!” Lottie exclaimed, giving me a shocked look, “I love when you get feisty! Oh feisty Alice is my favorite Alice! What did he say?”

I let out a small laugh at her unexpected enthusiasm, “Well…he asked if I was jealous.”

A small, yet high pitched giggle made its way out of Lottie, making her clamp her mouth shut. Lottie almost never giggled. “And? Did you tell him the truth? Did you tell him that you were absolutely, completely jealous and that you want to make out with his beautiful face every time you see him?”

I slapped Lottie’s arm, “Will you shut your mouth? What if someone hears?” I did a quick look, but nobody seemed to be paying us any attention as we neared the Fat Lady. “No, actually I told him something along the lines of not every girl is in love with him, even if it’s a shock to him.”

Lottie just laughed at turned towards the Fat Lady, “Mandrakes.” She spoke the password clearly and stepped into the tunnel before me, “Oh Alice, this is just perfect. We have to go tell the other two about your very eventful day.”

I groaned, “Fine. But only if the dormitory is empty.” I stopped once in the common room, “You go on ahead, I think I left one of my textbooks down here yesterday and haven’t had the time to grab it yet.”

Lottie turned without a word and hurried towards the dormitory. I took my time trying to locate the text, knowing I could easily Accio it, but not wanting to face gossip time with the girls.

I had just located my transfiguration text underneath one of the couches, and was laying on the floor trying to reach it (someone must have kicked it under) when I felt someone standing beside me. I looked up from my place on the floor and saw Frank standing over me. “Can I help you?”

He said nothing, just got down on the floor beside me without a word, looked under the couch and reached his long arm out. He pulled out my textbook and handed it to me. “Here you go Lil’ Alice. Now you owe me.”

I guffawed, “For what? I never asked for your help.” I sat up and took the text out of his hands, hugging it to my chest, my hair falling in my eyes.

Frank reached out and tucked the strands behind my ear, causing my body to completely stiffen at the unfamiliar gesture. “But I did help you, and now you owe me.” He stood up and looked down at me, “Oh I’m sorry. Will you only accept assistance from Black?”

I was in the process of standing up but stopped. I immediately straightened and looked up into Frank’s eyes, searching them for a sign that he was only joking around, and making false accusations. That he didn’t know about my secret little crush.

“I get it,” He said with a smirk, putting his hands in his front pockets and rocking forwards slightly onto the balls of his feet. “Black’s a good looking guy. But beautiful? I wouldn’t go that far. Come on Alice, you can do better.”

Frank winked at me, then reached out and ruffled my hair before turning and heading off to Merlin knows where. Clearly he liked having the last word.

Had he overheard Lottie and me? This wasn’t good. And what if he told Sirius? He wouldn’t, would he?

Hell. I had no idea what Frank would do, I barely knew the guy.

It was getting late, and I couldn’t chase after him now, the girls were waiting for me. I decided then that the next day I would go find Frank and confront him. I would tell him that if he told another living soul about my crush on Sirius, that I would make him pay.

He would listen to me…I hope.