Fatum

The next day, Sunday, was just as exhausting as Saturday had been. I had gotten almost no sleep due to the girls staying up all night talking. They had only gone to bed when Suzanne had finally threatened to tell McGonagall that we were disturbing her much needed sleep.

Suzanne was always an incredibly fun person to have around.

We had talked about many things. Lily finally confessed to all three of us that she had indeed began to fall for James Potter. We all knew it was inevitable, but we pretended to be shocked for her sake.

Livia had explained more in depth about her and Frank’s “fake-ship”, as Lottie liked to put it. It felt abnormal to talk about whatever they had between them. I mean, I probably couldn’t even begin to guess how many hours we have spent in our little dorm discussing Liv’s many boyfriends, but this one felt different. Usually Livia was completely in charge, and it seemed like Frank was the more dominant one in this “fake-ship”.

I didn’t want Liv to get hurt. She always ended up getting hurt.

Lottie had no gossip to add, though she rarely did. Though she was the one to explain my little scene with Sirius. Lily thought it was hilarious, Livia was surprised I had the guts to actually yell at someone for once.

I didn’t tell them about Frank. I don’t know why, I just felt like keeping it to myself. Besides, what if he hadn’t over heard and I was just over reacting? I’d find out today…after a few cups of coffee.

~~~~

After I had drowned my sleepiness in caffeine I made up an excuse about where I was going so Lily wouldn’t follow me. I told her I had to go ask Madam Pomfrey for some more medicine as mine was almost out. Which was a lie…I rarely took that dreadful stuff.

Once I knew for sure that Lily wasn’t going to follow after me, I began my search for Frank. He wasn’t in the common room, and after asking Remus if he was in the dorm (because Liv was looking for him), I learned he wasn’t there either.

I searched the library, most of the corridors and even checked in some empty classrooms. At one point Sirius rounded the corner and I had to duck into a broom closest to avoid any sort of confrontation.

I was going to check out by the lake when finally I spotted him.

Frank was inside greenhouse two, walking alongside a row of odd looking herbs. He looked funny, and I realized it was because he wasn’t holding a cigarette, and he rarely wasn’t.

“Frank!” I called out. He spun around, clearly he hadn’t been expecting company.

He seemed shocked to see me for only a moment before his expression melted back into his normal smug look. “Ah, Alice. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked in a very fake-what I assumed to be Irish-accent.

“We need to have a little chat.” I tried to make myself sound as assertive and strong as I could.
He only laughed, shaking his head slightly and leaning back against one of the tables. “Oh, do we? And what do we need to chat about?”

He was mocking me. It was pretty clear he found this all very amusing, but it wasn’t funny to me. I didn’t want Sirius to find out that I liked him, or how much I liked him. I didn’t think I could handle his rejection.

“Last night, why did you bring up Sirius? And don’t bull shit with me. I want to know why you mentioned him.” I crossed my arms and stood up as straight as possible.

Frank let his head roll back and sighed slightly, “Really? That’s what this is about? Why does it matter so much?” He quizzed me, letting his hands fall into the pockets of his jacket. Why didn’t he just wear his robe like everyone else did?

“If you must know, though I really don’t see why it matters, I overheard you and that friend of yours talking. You know, Liv’s twin.” He said it so casually, shrugging his shoulders as if it was no big deal.
Maybe it wasn’t to him, but it was to me.

I grinded my teeth together and pushed my hair behind my ear, “Okay, first off, Liv’s twins name is Lottie. You should know that seeing as you two are pretty much dating. Or not dating. I don’t know what you two are doing but you should at least know your fuck buddy’s sister’s name.” I took a few steps closer to Frank so I was standing directly in front of him, “Second, it does matter that you overheard us because that means you know, you know and you weren’t supposed to know that I like Sirius which means you could tell whoever you wanted and that is not all right with me.”

I took a deep breath and stared at Frank for a second. “Are you finished?” He asked me, pushing himself off the table.

I held up a hand to keep distance between us, “No! I’m not done yet. And the third thing, is that I am very angry with you. I do not like to confront people and I’ve had to do it twice in two days and I don’t like it and it’s your fault.”

I put my hand down and cross it back over my chest. “Now I’m done.”

Frank laughed again, giving me a confused look, “You sure have a lot of anger in you Little Alice.”

He was silent for a moment, as if he was choosing his words wisely, “Okay, first off, Livia is not my fuck buddy.”

His little speech was cut short as I had let out a very unattractive snort.

“What was that for?”

I snorted again, not sure exactly why I was making myself sound like a pig but apparently it was something I did when I was in disbelief. “She’s not? Because from what I’ve gathered that’s really all you two do. Look, everyone knows you’re not a relationship type guy, and we all know that you enjoy spending time in the sheets with the girls so I don’t know why you’re denying it.”

Frank didn’t answer for a second, he was looking me over, and for a very brief moment I thought I saw a bit of hurt flash across his eyes but I must have been mistaken.

“Is that all you think of me?” He asks, his eyes looking down at his feet.

“I don’t think it matters what I think of you Frank, now if we could get back on track and discuss the real issue which is you knowing I like Sirius.”

“Why is it such an issue?”

I let out an exasperated sigh, “Because I don’t trust you not to go off and tell Sirius exactly what I said. Now please, please promise me you won’t tell a single soul. I hate begging but I will if I have to.”

Frank just rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to me so he is towering over me now, “Fine. I won’t tell.” He takes me chin in his hand and lifts my face up so I’m looking directly at him. “On one condition.”

Horrified, I take a step back, only to slam in a table and knock over a pot of herbs. I ignore the broken pot and look at Frank in disgust, “Ew, no. I’m not doing-“I wave my arms around, “that with you.”

Frank laughs. It’s not his usually smug little laugh, but a real, genuine laugh and to be completely honest, I love the sound of it.

“Don’t worry Little Alice, it’s not what you’re thinking. I only want you to help me out with a few Astronomy lessons. There’s no one else in that class I can ask. It’s all a bunch of Ravenclaws and I can’t stand that house. They’ve all got wands up their ass.”

Seriously? He wants me to tutor him? That…I can do that. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I hold out my hand, “Deal.”

Frank smiles and takes my hand, shaking it slowly. “We’ve got a deal.”

I have to tug my hand free when it’s clear that Frank has no intention of letting go. “Okay then. When should we do this?” I put my hands behind my back and maneuver my way out of Frank’s reach.

Franks tells me that we’ll have tutoring sessions every Saturday after supper, and I have no choice but to agree.

I finally turn to leave but Frank, as always, has to have one final word. “Oh Alice.” He calls out.

I turn back to face him and his expression softens. The corner of his mouth tugs up a fraction of an inch and he leans back against the table again, “Just so you know…you’re much too good for Black.”

I frown but don’t say anything before I turn and actually leave this time.

He was wrong. Sirius was way too good for me. I knew I didn’t deserve him.

~~~~

The rest of Sunday passed by rather quickly, and then began another long and dreary five days of classes, studying, and writing so many essays that I felt as if my hand just might detach itself from my arm.

Now that the weather was starting to get colder, you could feel the students becoming more and more excited for another Hogwarts winter. It was hands down the most magical time of the year, and that’s saying something.

I mean, we go to a school of magic for Merlin’s sake.

Halloween was on Sunday and everyone knew the Halloween feast was the greatest meal of the year. Plus, the teachers always seemed a bit happier on Halloween.

Though I was looking forward to Sunday, the two days leading up to it weren’t looking as inviting.
Friday was my last detention with Sirius and I did not want to explain my miniature break down on the stairs. I had somehow managed to avoid the topic up until now but it would take a miracle for it not to come up during detention.

And then Saturday.

Saturday was my first tutoring session with Frank, and I wasn’t sure if I was dreading it or looking forward to it honestly. Frank had said he wanted to get to know me, and I was more than a little curious to find out why the sudden interest.

I was so anxious for Friday in fact, that the universe decided to play a little joke on me and speed up the rest of the week until-what do you know-it was Friday!

I just so happened to have a free period right after study hall on Fridays, which was strangely convenient as it gave me some extra time to get caught up on homework before the weekend started.

After study hall I gathered my books and hurried up to the common room so I could claim my favorite spot, sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace with my books spread across the coffee table.
I smiled to myself when I saw that my spot was free and scampered over the couch to flop my buttocks onto the floor.

I know, sounds like an incredibly attractive sight doesn’t it?

I worked on a Herbology essay for what seemed like five minutes before the rush of Gryffindors returning from their last class of the day came in like a tidal wave.

I glanced down at the watch on my wrist, (It had been a birthday present from my mother last year. She was constantly worried I would be late for classes. I loved the watch, it was silver with a brown leather band. So simple.) And realized that I had been working on this essay for over an hour and had only managed to write enough to fill half a scroll of parchment.

Supper would be in another two hours and then I had my last detention.

Two hours left. I really should have just continued to work on my essay, but my mind was clearly elsewhere. So instead I packed my books and papers into my duffel bag and reluctantly moved myself into the dormitory, deciding that a nap sounded great at the time.

No one else was in the dorm room so I crawled across my bed and tucked myself under the covers.
That bed was one of my favorite places to be, other than the greenhouses. I loved curling up after a stressful day of classes and just feeling safe and cozy. Though sometimes it made me homesick.

Though the weeks were busy and you hardly ever had time to relax, it also kept you from thinking about home. In my spare time I would find myself craving my mom’s cooking, or missing waking up in the mornings to the smell of coffee, waffles and my dad’s cigar smoke (it drove my mum crazy that he smoked. She thought the smoke would make me sick. I was constantly telling her that it didn’t bother me, but she worried about everything.)

My mother worried a lot. Poor Elizabeth, you got stuck with such a difficult husband and daughter.

One day I’d make up for all the worrying she had to endure. I’d make her proud.

~~~~

Naps are a terrible invention.

They sound like this grand thing, and when you think about napping you want to go curl up on a big comfy bed under soft blankets and just sleep for a couple hours. It just sounds absolutely fantastic, now doesn’t it?

The thing is, no one tells you about how you’ll feel once you wake up.

You expect it to be nice and refreshed, and that you’ll rise out of bed a new human being. Well, let me tell you friends, that is nowhere near what it’s liked.

Once you actually wake up from your coma-like sleep, you feel as if Death himself visited you but decided to keep you alive for only a bit longer.

The effects of this so called “napping” are as follows:

1) You will probably feel a bit disoriented and it’s perfectly natural for you to have no clue where you are.
2) You might also feel as if you have been asleep for a century or two and will immediately panic thinking you missed all your scheduled events.
3) Unless you are Aphrodite or one of her children, your hair will look like a rat and maybe a few birds made their homes within it.
4) And drool. There will be plenty of drool.

So, to put it simply-naps are a terrible idea unless you have literally nothing else to do for the next day or so.

I had woken up from my nap, and was suffering from all four of the effects previously mentioned, though instead of just thinking I was late for detention. I actually was.

I didn’t even bother to glance in a mirror as I sprinted out of the common room and down to Filch’s office as fast as my legs could take me.

I was exactly ten minutes and 32 seconds late (according to Filch).

He didn’t make much of a fuss about me being late. Filch actually seemed to not detest me, which never happened. Filch detested everybody.

I had come bursting through the door and Filch had barely moved, just muttering under his breath about “kids these days”, and how we “think we own the world.”

He informed me that Sirius would tell me what to do, and then left the room. Slamming the door behind him, just to make his point.

Once he was gone Sirius pushed off the wall he had been leaning against and walked over to me, “Miss Goody was late. The world must be ending.”

I rolled my eyes, “No, Miss Goody fell asleep and just woke up. World isn’t ending, I was just tired.” I explained, perching myself up on a table.

Sirius laughed softly, his mouth quirking up into a smile, “That would explain the hair.” He reached out and tugged at my hair, making my heart skip a beat.

Self-consciously I reached up to pat down my hair. I could feel the heat rising to my face, “Is it really that bad?” I asked him, looking down at my hands.

He tugged at my hair once again, gently this time. “Nah, it’s kind of cute.”

Oh. Oh dear lord. Did he just?

He just said my hair is cute.

I think I just collapsed. Am I still breathing?

Get it together.

Oh lord.

I pulled myself together in time to answer, “Yeah, sure. Now, what are we doing?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Sirius cleared his throat and backed away, “We are supposed to be sorting through these crates and organizing the contents, then labelling the crates. In my opinion, we should search through and find anything interesting.”

I shook my head and hopped off the table, “You’re terrible Sirius. You really are.”

He chuckled beside me and nudged me with his shoulder, “I’m terrible? Is that really any way to talk to such a dear friend?”

I just snorted in response and went to open the nearest crate, pulling a different crate over to sit on while I searched through the previously opened crate.

So many crates, so little time.

Sirius, however, refused to participate in such mundane activities when he quite obviously had far too much potential. Or, that’s how he put it. I personally think he’s just lazy.

We were about an hour into the detention when I heard the noise of a crate being dragged across the wooden floors. I glanced up for just a brief moment to see that Sirius had planted himself right in front of me.

I started, running a hand through my hair and shaking my head ever so slightly. “What are you doing Black? Have you decided to join me in our detention duties?”

Sirius merely shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his jet black hair falling into his eyes. “No, no I need to ask you something Alice.”

He sounded serious, which ironically was something Sirius rarely was. “Yes, what is it Black?”
“Why did you blow up at me the other day?” He clenched his hands together and gave me a quizzical look.

Oh shite.

I tried to pull off the most uninterested face possible. It seemed logical in my mind that if I looked like the issue was no big deal, Sirius would believe that it wasn’t a big deal.

“Oh that? It had just been a stressful day. I had almost completely forgotten about that, to tell you the truth.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked back down at the crate in front of me.

Sirius was quiet for a minute or two and I glanced back up cautiously to find him eyeing me. Merlin he was gorgeous.

Finally he spoke up, running his hands up and down his thighs, “So you’re not angry with me Alice?”

I was taken aback. Sirius sounded…well he sounded concerned!

Was he really worried that I was angry with him? Why would he be?

Honestly, it made no sense, not even in the slightest.

Sirius was one of the most popular students at Hogwarts, so why would he be concerned with me being angry with him?

“Oh! No Sirius, of course I’m not angry with you!” I leaned forward and set my hand on his knee lightly.

He leaned forward as well and pressed his forehead against mine, his silky black locks falling across my face.

This detention was going to end up giving me a heart attack!

“Okay.” He muttered, “That’s good. I don’t like having my friends angry with me.” Sirius leaned back and gave me his signature smirk. “We are friends, aren’t we Alice?”

I giggled ever so slightly and nodded my head twice, “Yes Sirius. We’re friends.”

He nodded back, “Good. You should know, I don’t use that term quite often. It’s reserved for only the best people around.”

It took all of my strength not to crumble to pieces right there.

After that, the rest of the detention went by rather quickly, with Sirius and myself making idle chit-chat until Filch showed up to relieve us from our duties.

We walked back up to the common room silently, and once we had passed through the small tunnel Sirius turned to me. “I don’t know about you Alice, but I’m knackered.”

I guffawed, “Knackered? Sirius you did nothing!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air as I saw James and Remus on the couches waving Sirius over.

I decided to join them, walking over to the couches in front of the fireplace and plopping myself down on the floor in front of the warm fire.

Remus laughed slightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched me with mild curiosity. “You know there are empty seats Alice. Unless detention drained everything out of you and you couldn’t possibly be near Sirius any longer?”

I just nodded, pulling my knees up into my chest, “Sirius did not help me at all.” I complained.

Sirius laughed, dropping into the empty space between his two friends. “Where’s Peter?” He asked, scanning the room.

“He wouldn’t finish his charms essay so we locked him in the dorm.” Remus explained. He said it so casually I figured this must be a regular occurrence.

James turned to me, adjusting his glasses on his nose. “So Alice, any plans for the weekend?”

This felt so odd. I had talked to these three so many times before, but it felt different. I felt accepted by them now. It was like, as soon as Sirius and I became friends, his group deemed me as acceptable.

I wasn’t going to lie and say I didn’t enjoy it.

“Actually, I’m tutoring Frank Longbottom tomorrow. We’ve set it up so that I’ll be tutoring him in Astronomy every Saturday for a while.”

The three sit up a little straighter, all of them fidgeting at the exact same time.

Remus cleared his throat, “You know Alice, that Frank isn’t exactly the best guy around. Be careful around him.”

I frowned. Were they seriously worried about me?

“Frank is perfectly fine, and I don’t need to be careful.” I push myself off the ground and stood up, brushing off my skirt. “Besides, I can handle myself thank you very much.”

I looked over at the three boys and caught them giving each other looks as if they could read each other’s minds.

“What?” I demanded, cross my arms over my chest and adjusting my weight onto one side.

“We just don’t want him to take advantage of you Alice.” Sirius said calmly, looking me over.

I huffed and turned on my heels, throwing them a glare over my shoulder. “I’m a lot tougher than I look just so you boys know. I wouldn’t underestimate me.”

And with that, I hurried up to my room, too annoyed to talk to anyone anymore.

Tomorrow was my first tutoring session with Frank, and if James, Sirius and Remus were right, I’d need to be completely ready and aware.

I’d show them I wasn’t some weak little girl. They’d see one day.