My Fallen Angel

The days after Jayde's death, the world around me was begining to crack into pieces. Grief drove me into places that I didn't want to be. I was heartbroken, scared, I was in denial and I was depressed. All of my happiness that I had was gone. I didn't even have the urge to go out and skate and I knew, mentally, that that was a bad sign in general. I didn't have the heart to go out and skate. I loved Jayde so much and she was the world to me and I can't believe that she's gone. It all didn't seem real, but deep down, I had to accept it. I wrapped my arms around my knees, that were pulled up to my chest. Andy was beside me, he stroked my hair and he pressed little kisses on my exposed skin, to comfort me, but it wasn't doing much good, even though it did show that he wasn't gonna give up on making me take this a little easier and accept it.

"I hate seeing you like this, Faith." He murmured, his breath was warm against my skin. I sighed. There was nothing I could do. I was too scared to walk outside because of Blaze showing up and potentially killing me or Andy, which I for sure, wasn't gonna let it happen.

"I can't help it, Light. I just can't." Grief cracked and sparked in my voice as I felt more tears trickle in my eyes and they fell down my cheeks. Andy wiped them away and he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Don't cry, baby. Please. I hate seeing you cry." He said, as he took me into his arms. His embrace was always welcoming to me. I lay my head on him and he held me close. I just ran my fingers across the tattoos on his skin. He took my hand in his and he kissed the back of my hand, as he's done before.

"I love you, Light." I said, against him. Andy lifted my chin and he stared into my now red eyes because of the tears I've shed. He gave me a gentle and soft kiss and he stroked my hair.

"I love you, Faith." He whispered. His icy blue eyes were full of sorrow and compassion, compassion for the pain I was feeling and the sorrow was for it as well.

I couldn't help but beat myself up mentally. I wished I could've saved her instead of dealing with this tragedy. Another sob filled my throat and Andy heard it. He tightened his arms and he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Shh. Faith. You're okay. I'm here, baby." He soothed me.

"All my family's gone. My parents and sister are dead. I have no one left to run to," I sobbed.

"Yes, you do, Faith. Me. I'm still here. Because I love you and I'll always be here for you." He told me.

He was right. Andy was the last person I could run to when the going gets rough, but I needed a sister figure in my life. I then realized that I did have that figure in Juliet. Juliet and I became good friends on Rob Dyrdek Day and she's the best, she had such a huge heart and she told me that I could come to her about anything. I nodded and he kissed my temple.

"Rob and Margera care about you too, Faith. And so does Kat, and Carey and Pink and Jericho." He kept his voice soft and gentle. "You're not alone. You have people who love you and are willing to take a bullet for you."

I then just decided to grab my Droid and check Twitter for the first time in about a month and I tweeted the world this message:

@Faith_Blackburn: I have some bad news to share, everyone. My sister, Jayde, just passed away. I miss her like crazy, but my hubby @AndyBVB, has been doing his best to make it easier to handle. I love you, Light and thanks. ♥

I then got instant replies from my loyal fans and from my friends:

@thekatvond: Oh, babe! I'm so sorry for your loss! At least Andy's being supportive for you. And I'm here, if you ever need me. ♥ @Faith_Blackburn.

@IAmJericho: I'm so sorry, Lacey. That really must be hard for you to take in. I'm here for you and Andy. I love you both very much. ♥ @Faith_Blackburn

@hartluck: Oh, Firefly. I'm so sorry about Jayde. Me and @Pink are always here for you. We love you, Lace. @Faith_Blackburn ♥

@JulietSimmsALL: Oh, no! I'm sorry for your loss, Lacey! @Faith_Blackburn. I'm here for you, darling. ♥

@robdyrdek: Shit. Lacey, I'm sorry about your sister. That has to be hard. I'm always here for you, my dear.♥ @Faith_Blackburn

Just seeing that, all the love being shed for me from my friends made the pain slightly easier to handle and the blow was less hurtful and more soothing. Andy kissed my cheek softly.

"See? You have people who love you." He told me. "And they care about you."

"Yeah, they do." I replied. For some reason, I had the sense to go out and skate again. I needed to be out and to breathe again.

I then posted this:

@Faith_Blackburn: @thekatvond Rob Dyrdek Chris Jericho @hartluck @JulietSimmsALL thank you all so much for the love and support. I'm going skating now, if any of you want to join.

"I'm gonna go and skate," I said. I headed into the closet and changed into a fresh Hart & Huntington t-shirts, black jeans and DC's. I pulled my red hair into a couple braids and slipped on Electric sunglasses. I needed to hit the streets and try to get one good skate session in. Andy and I headed over to Rob's Safe Spot Skate Spot for me to skate. I started to cruise and Juliet and Kat were the first to show up, on their boards. I personalized a board for Juliet, I made her a special Automatic Loveletter board and Kat used one of Bam's boards. I had a secret talent for drawing my own skateboard designs and Rob made them into a special line for me for Alien Workshop. I went over to do a boardslide to fakie and I landed it with great ease. When I did, I went over to embrace Juliet and Kat. Who returned my hugs.

"How are you taking it?" Juliet asked, as she kicked up her board and sat with me on the bench.

"It's hard, but Andy's been doing his best to make it easier for me to face with," I replied. Kat patted my shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, Lace. Time heals all wounds." Kat told me. I nodded and hugged her, which she returned with more love. Rob then showed up with Bam too and I just ran over to hug them. I stifled a sob as Rob returned the hug, he rubbed my back soothingly.

"I'm so sorry for your sister, Lace." Rob said.

"Thank you, Rob." I broke his hug and Bam hugged me.

"I'm sorry about Jayde," Bam told me. I nodded and broke his hug and I decided that I needed to skate more to prevent myself from crying. I did a few tricks and a triple 360 flip and all the pain that I had felt over Jayde disappeared for once. Maybe, that was what I needed. A good skate session with my friends who love and support me. It was hard, but with my friends and my hubby, it was going to get better, one step at a time. Andy wrapped me in his arms and lay his head on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Faith. We'll get through this." He said, as he kissed my shoulder. I smiled a little.

"I know, Light. Thank you for always being there for me," I replied. He kissed my neck softly.

"No need to thank me, Faith. I just hate seeing you hurting." He turned me around so I faced him, his ice blue eyes were soft and filled with a deep love and affection. "You're my world, Faith and I love you. So much."

"I love you too, Light." I murmured. He then kissed me ever so softly. He was indeed, like I've said before, my Saviour. He just knew how to make the pain go away, even for a little while.