Die for You

Song: 'Who Knew' by Pink. A\N: This is a very special piece. This is in tribute to the fallen frontman of Suicide Silence, Mitch Lucker, who had passed away a year ago on November 1, 2012, on the Wicca holiday, Samhain. RIP Mitch, you are missed and loved by me and others every single day. Thank you for inspiring me, alongside others. A legend who was lost too soon. Legends never EVER DIE. The dead are living! So, y'all better have your tissues ready because it's gonna be a sad one! :) ~Tigerstar 'The Immortal Queen' Massacre~)

~Dream~

I was at what seemed like a simple Gothic meadow, the sky was pitch black with stars and I saw black dahilas and blood red roses, it seemed like a peaceful place and I felt at peace. At least Blaze didn't invade this dream. I sat in the middle of the meadow and I then turned my attention to the trees around me because I saw a pale purple light that caught my eye. I then saw that light form and I saw a familiar figure, it was the figure of my best friend and Suicide Silence frontman, Mitch Lucker. I gasped and I felt tears come into my eyes. On November 1st, 2012, I lost Mitch in a motorcycle accident, his bike hit a light pole and he got ejected from the bike while the bike slid down the street and got taken out by a car or a bus or something like that. I haven't seen Mitch in a year, close to a year, I think. He had short dark brown hair and he wore a black tanktop, jeans and his Vans. He didn't really say anything, just leaned against the tree, arms crossed and he smiled at me. I smiled back at him and I just knew that seeing him brought me some more peace. Mitch and I had been friends for more that five or more years. I was there for him when Suicide Silence started and I supported him through it all. I loved Mitch like a brother. Seeing him made me so happy and it made me relieved to know that he never left my side.

~End of Dream~

I opened up my eyes, I was curled up in bed with Andy, who had his arms around me and I ever so quietly got out of Andy's embrace without waking him. This was the first time I had ever dreamt about Mitch or even had a flashback about him. I closed the door to our bedroom and I headed downstairs to the living room. Crow and Phantom, our cats, were laying in their beds. Phantom popped his head up and jumped out of his bed and rubbed his head against my leg, Crow just opened his eyes, blinked and then went back to sleep. I rolled my eyes before picking Phantom up and petting him. Phantom let out a soft purr and I smiled a little. I sat on the couch with Phantom and he curled up on my lap to sleep again. A few moments later, I saw the curtains shake a little. I stood up, leaving Phantom on the couch and peered outside, but there wasn't anyone there. I then looked in the reflection in the glass and I saw Mitch. I gasped and turned around. Mitch was standing in my living room, his hair was shorter, he had a grey tanktop on, jeans and a pair of matching vans. I was in total shock, how the fuck can I see Mitch? I thought. But then, a huge smile came across my face. I was very happy though that I could see him. Tears fell down my face.

"Mitch," I said. "I missed you so much. It's so different without you here."

"I know what you mean, Lace." Mitch said with a smile. I went over to sit on the couch with Phantom, and Mitch joined me. He wrapped an arm around me, though I couldn't feel it.

"You know you will see me again for real someday, right?" Mitch whispered. I wiped my eyes and nodded my head.

"Yes," I replied, sniffling. "But I still can't get over the fact that you predicted your own death and you're so young.. It's just not fair."

"I know it's not fair, Lacey." Mitch murmured. "But, listen to me. I'll always watch over you and be here for you."

"Not the way you used to be," I sobbed softly. Mitch's eyes softened and he hugged me, though I couldn't feel him, he then made a warmth pass across my body to make me feel like he was hugging me.

"I miss your hugs, Mitch." I sniffled again, placing my hand on his shoulder. Mitch's spirit was solid enough that I could touch him, but he couldn't do the same to me.

"Lace," He whispered. "They're never far away. All you have to do is think of me."

I nodded and wiped my tears away and broke the hold that he had on me. I then turned my attention to Crow and Phantom, who were still sleeping. Typical.

"Listen, Lace," Mitch told me. "There's something I want you to do for me."

"What is it, Mitch?" I replied.

"I know that Andy's doing the Revelation In Black Art Show on the week of Halloween," He told me. "I want you to host an art auction. The proceeds can go to Kenadee's education."

I thought about it. It actually sounded like a good idea and I can also have the proceeds to go to Every 15 Minutes as well. It was a brilliant idea that Mitch came up with.

"Sounds like a good idea. I would love to do it. I'll invite your band mates and Jolie and Kenadee." I said. Mitch smiled brightly and he gave me another hug. And this time, I could actually feel him. I gasped and pulled away.

"You're the best. Look, I gotta go." Mitch said. "I'll keep an eye on you and come back on the day of the auction."

I nodded and I then saw Mitch's spirit fade into the day, and I felt tears falling down my face as he vanished, I sobbed softly until I got to the point of hysteria. I missed Mitch so much. I really wished he hadn't been drinking his ass off that night. I really did. I walked past Blayde's room and then I peeked inside, Blayde was asleep in her bed, her little arms around the stuffed lion that Mitch's wife, Jolie gave her for her birthday. I then closed the door quietly and I went outside onto the porch after changing into my Fox 'Ride to Thrill' tank top, black shorts and my knee high grey socks with skulls on them. I took a deep breath after my crying spree. I'll see Mitch again. At the Revelation In Black show on Halloween. I then heard Andy. I paused and got up, and I just put my hands on the balcony and sighed. Andy's footsteps came closer and he came outside. I didn't look at him. I didn't want him to see my tear stained face. I then heard his shuffling and his arms wrapped around me. I pressed my back to his chest, natural tendency, but I still couldn't say anything to him.

"There you are," He murmured, then he sensed that something wasn't right because I was quiet. "Faith? What's wrong?"

I kept myself silent as he turned me around so that our eyes met and he knew that I had been crying because my eyes were red. I looked away and he lifted my chin with his finger, making me meet his ice blue eyes.

"Hey," He leaned his forehead against mine. "Faith. Baby, please. Tell me what's going on."

"There's nothing to talk about," I muttered. Andy's hand cupped my face, he knew that I was either hiding something or lying. Because he knew me too well.

"Hey. Don't hide from me," He said. "Just tell me. Please."

I had to tell him or else he would prod me until I would say it. I sighed and I met his eyes again. I had no choice so I took another breath and I went for it.

"You know Mitch Lucker? From Suicide Silence?" I asked. Andy nodded, he knew instantly who I was talking about.

"Yeah," Andy said. "Why?"

"Mitch- He was my best friend." I felt tears come into my eyes and they fell down my cheeks. Andy's eyes grew wide with shock. He had no idea that I knew Mitch.

"Oh, Faith. I had no idea you knew Mitch," He murmured. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"I miss him so much, Andy." I sobbed into his chest as he stroked my hair and held me closer to him.

"I know, Lacey." He whispered, kissing my temple. "I know, my love. It's okay."

I couldn't help it anymore, my grief was getting the better of me. I sniffled and Andy's embrace tightened around me, holding me even closer to him.

"Shh. Baby. It's okay. I'm right here. Shh. It's allright." Andy told me. I buried my head into him and I smelt his scent of cigarettes and cologne, and his scent relieved me for a few moments.

"I really wish he hadn't been drinking that night," I told Andy. "I really do."

"Shh. Mitch's in a better place," He murmured. "I told you before, he'll always watch over you."

I nodded my head and Andy kissed my forehead. He was right about that because I had seen Mitch and he had encountered me. Seeing Mitch got me to think about getting one last tattoo, I wanted to get a line from Suicide Silence's 'You Only Live Once'. It goes: 'You only have one life, for a very short time, so make every second divine.' I wanted to get that for Mitch before he died, I just never got around to it.

"Light?" I said. Andy lifted my chin so that my grey eyes met his icy blue ones.

"Yeah, Faith?" He murmured.

"Since the art show has opened back up for Halloween," I told him. "Halloween night, I wanna do an art auction. The proceeds can go to Kenadee's education and Every 15 Minutes."

"That sounds like a great idea." He said."I'm sure Mitch would love that."

"I'm sure he would too," I replied. "Let's do it."

He smiled and he kissed me gently after I felt calmer and regained my control of my emotions. I thought that the art auction would be great. I loved the idea and I would have to thank Mitch if I see him again. I then let Andy go and went to call the guys in Suicide Silence and Jolie and Kenadee to invite them to the Revelation In Black show.

~Halloween Night~

I stood in front of the mirror, a black leather corset on my torso, black leather leggings, black high heeled boots, my new light red to almost orange hair straightened and brushed past my shoulder. The idea for my hair came from an artist that I look up to, Megan Massacre. She had the same tone of hair. If you put me and Megan in the same room, we would look the same. I had designed more paintings for the art auction, including one that I did for Mitch, it had me and him, he had black leather wings and a silver halo which made him into a fallen angel and his dog, Parker was sitting beside us. It had the caption 'Why do the good people die young?' and it said 'In loving memory: Mitchell Adam Lucker, from 1984 to 2012.' I had also gotten Mitch's lyrics on my right arm, above my forearm and it wraps around my arm, like Juliet's tattoo she got for Andy, her 'Saviour' lyrics.

I headed downstairs after slipping on one of Andy's 'Prophet' vests. Andy was downstairs, wearing his leather jacket, black buttondown shirt, black jeans and his combat boots. I smiled at him and he returned the smile at me.

"Did I ever tell you that I love your new hair, Faith?" He said, taking a strand and curling it around his fingertip. I shook my head.

"No, I don't think you ever did, Light." I chuckled. "Do you like it?"

"I love it." He kissed me softly. "It makes your eyes shine more and it makes you look more beautiful."

"Aw. Thank you, love." I said, pecking him on the cheek.

Andy and I headed out together to the Art show, we saw all the BVB Army waiting to get in and he parked at the back door and we headed inside after I grabbed my paintings. Andy went to set up the chairs for the auction and I went to put my paintings aside, I also put up a copy of the painting I did of me and Mitch and Parker on the wall of the stage. I glanced at the picture, a tear filling up my eye and I went to wipe it away. I wouldn't cry. Because I knew somewhere that Mitch was happy. I sighed as I heard Ashley, CC, Jake and Jinxx come inside and so did the guys in Suicide Silence and Jolie and Kenadee. I stepped down the steps and I gave Jolie a hug.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it," I said. "Thanks for coming."

"Not a problem, Lacey." Jolie said. "I think it's so sweet that you'd wanna do this for Mitch and for Kenadee."

"Well, I want Mitch to be happy and I want Kenadee to have a good education," I told her. "Speaking of, where is the little angel?"

"Aunt Lacey!" I heard a sweet little voice and I saw Kenadee running up to me and she jumped into my arms. I laughed. Kenadee hugged me and I hugged her back.

"Hi, little one." I said, playing with her blonde hair and Kenadee giggled softly. "I haven't seen you in a long time. The last time I seen you, you were a baby. You've gotten so big."

Kenadee smiled and she kissed my cheek. I smiled back at her, she looked so happy. She did have a skip to her step and it made me feel so good. I set her down and I saw her stand next to Jolie. I saw so much of Mitch in her. She had Mitch's kind heart and lovely persona. She always treated people well and that's what made Mitch who he was. Mitch always had a good heart under his charismatic and enigmatic image. I then glanced at my watch and saw it was time to let the BVB Army in and Andy went to the doors to open them and let them in. The auctioneers and art dealers came in as well. It was 8:00 and at 9 I was going to do the auction. I sighed and I sat on the stage as I saw the BVB Army meet Andy and the boys.

"Do you miss my daddy?" I heard a voice that knocked me back to reality and I saw that Kenadee was beside me. I sighed and I pulled her into my arms.

"Of course I miss your dad," I kissed Kenadee's hair. "I miss your dad everyday. I think about him everyday too."

"You think he's happy?" She asked.

"Of course. He's probably looking down at me, holding you close and he's probably got a huge smile on his face." I told her. "I loved your dad like a brother. He meant the world to me."

"Well, I love you, Aunt Lacey." She said and that warmed my heart. I smiled and I hugged her to me.

"I love you too, sweetheart." I murmured, blinking away tears. "I love you too."

She smiled and I let her go so that she could go find Jolie and I had to get the auction going. As I gathered the BVB Army Soldiers to the stage, I saw Mitch's spirit appear, he stood near the last row of chairs with a smile on his face. I gasped really quietly as I began to auction off some of my paintings, the first one was a dragon that I drew that had a BVB rosary and a mourning star on it's forehead. The painting was sold for 2,500 bucks. And half of that would go to Kenadee's education and Every 15 Minutes. I sold about five to ten more pieces and as I did so, I saw Mitch pretending to buy my artwork. I rolled my eyes in amusement.

"Dork," I muttered, quietly and I heard Mitch's laughter. I softly chuckled under my breath and I wrapped up the auction by selling the painting I did of me, Mitch and Parker where Mitch was a fallen angel. I got 10 Grand for it. The highest I made all night and it made me so happy because with all the money I earned was going to a good cause. After the auction, I decided to play a show for Mitch's memory and in tribute to him. I sat on a bar stool, I crossed my legs and I had finished singing a few songs from my time on The Voice and a couple of new songs I had written.

"Allright," I said. "To close out the show, I want to sing a song for Mitch. This song, when I heard this song, reminds me of our friendship and our bond. This is called 'Who Knew'."

The guitar began to play and I nodded along with the music before taking a breath and singing:

"You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh

That's right

I took your words

And I believed

In everything

You said to me

Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew.."

I could feel the tears coming into my eyes and I quickly blinked them away, I saw Mitch standing there, his eyes were soft and he crossed his arms, listening with intent and I knew he loved the song and that I was singing to him and only him alone. I kept my voice professional as I continued.

"Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool.."

I smiled at those lines I sang because it reminded me of all the fun times I had with Mitch and all the laughs we had together. I could see Mitch chuckling at that as well.

"Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again

And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep

My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew

My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew..."

I then heard the crowd cheer as I felt tears fall down my cheeks, and I then felt a warmth around me, I looked up and I saw Mitch. He had his arms around me and he was hugging me, though I didn't feel it.

"I love you, Mitch." I whispered so that no one could hear.

"I love you too, Lacey." He replied. "Don't forget. I'm never too far away. All you need to do is think of me and I'll be there."

I then spoke to the crowd of BVB Army Soldiers and I thanked them for coming and thanked the auctioneers and art dealers for picking up my art and with that, everyone began to leave. I sat onstage still with Mitch. He had an arm around me, and I couldn't feel it, but I had a sense that I could. I just looked at him before I went to roll up the poster of my painting I made of he and I and Parker and I placed a rubber band around it and slipped it into my purse.

"Thank you for doing this for me," Mitch told me. "It means a lot, Lace."

"Glad I could help." I said. "That's what friends are for, right?"

He nodded and I saw his spirit begin to fade and I gasped softly. I only had a little longer before he would completely vanish.

"Don't leave," I whimpered softly, grief cracking my voice. "Please, Mitch. I just got you back."

"Hey. Remember," Mitch replied. "I'll always be here. Just think of me, Lacey."

I had to remember that, no matter where I would go, as long as I thought of Mitch, he would always appear for me. So, it wasn't goodbye forever, just for now. I then felt the cold of his spirit as he as came closer to me. Our eyes locked and Mitch leaned in and kissed my forehead and this time- I felt it. I gasped.

"I'll be back." Mitch murmured, as he began to vanish. "Again. Thank you for doing this for my family, for the guys and for me. I don't know how to repay you, Lacey. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"No problem. I love you too," I whispered as he vanished completely. This time, I didn't cry, I felt- relieved. Because I knew that Mitch would always be there for me and he would always watch over me. It brought me the closure that I needed. I then felt a pair of long arms around me and I leaned back against them, knowing it was Andy. Andy kissed my collarbone and neck softly.

"That was a beautiful song that you did for Mitch," He murmured. "I'm sure he loved it."

"So am I." I said. "Thanks for letting me do this for Mitch, Andy. It means a lot."

Andy kissed me softly and he kissed my temple gently.

"Your welcome, my love." He said. "Anything for you. Ready to go?"

I nodded as Andy took my hand and we headed home, and I felt so much better when we got home. I looked at myself in the mirror as I changed into my Suicide Silence tanktop, so that all my tattoos could be seen. I then ran my hand over the 'You Only Live Once' line on my right arm, above the blue rose I got with Andy's name on my forearm. I then lifted up my arm, so that it could be seen in the light.

"I got this for you, Mitch. So I can always have a piece of you everywhere I go, buddy." I said, softly. "I love you. Keep watching over me and keeping me safe from wherever you are."

I then headed out of the bathroom after putting my hair into a ponytail and I went to put Blayde to bed and I went to bed with Andy and I leaned my head on his chest and I fell asleep to him humming 'The Mortician's Daughter' to me.