In the End

"You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
You make me wanna die."

I stood onstage, singing to the crowd that came out to see us and Black Veil Brides, we were playing a concert in LA at the House of Blues. I'm now the singer of the hard rock band, The Pretty Nightmare. My band and I released our first album, Light Me Up, the week before Christmas. I wore a black tank top that had a white cross that was inverted on it, a pair of grey skinny jeans and I wore a pair of high heeled black boots that went up to my knee. The heels were stiletto too. My hair was straight black, I had changed it again. Plus, Andy loved my black hair more than my red hair. My hair was straight and down, past my shoulders and close to my back now. I had worn Andy's leather jacket, but I placed it beside the drum set. I continued to sing our song, 'Make Me Wanna Die'.

"Taste me, drink my soul
Show me all the things that I shouldn't know
And there's a blue moon on the rise

I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night
Your eyes, your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes, everything in your eyes, your eyes

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes (burning in the light)
You make me wanna die

I would die for you my love, my love
I would lie for you my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I would steal for you, my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I would die for you my love, my love
Well burn up in the light

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes (burning in the light)
You make me wanna die

Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
You make me wanna die."

The crowd cheered as I finished the last line and a smile came across my face before I paused to talk to the fans after I got a drink of water from the bottle that I had next to the mic stand.

"LA! You guys have been fucking wonderful! Thank you guys so much!" I said. "This song is our final song before I let Black Veil Brides come out! This is called 'Miss Nothing!'"

The crowd roared as our cue began and I began to sing 'Miss Nothing' and the most amazing thing was that the fans were singing the song back to us and I loved it. After the song I stood on the stage as the crowd died down.

"Before we take our exit, maybe if I can get you guys to start chanting," I replied. "Maybe the boys will hear you and come out! Allright? Let's hear it! Black Veil Brides! Black Veil Brides!"

I raised the mic up and the crowd began to chant and my smile grew bigger as I then heard the boys coming to the stage and I could see Andy's shadow behind the curtain before he appeared behind the curtain. I lowered the mic down so I could speak.

"I think I hear them coming!" I continued, chuckling. "Anyways, I'm Lacey Blackburn and we are The Pretty Nightmare! Goodnight, LA!"

I then placed the mic back on the stand and I walked behind the curtain with my boys, Eric, Raven, Jade and Adam and when I did, Andy grabbed my wrist and he pulled me to him. He placed his fingers under my chin so our eyes could meet before our lips touched in a soft kiss. We broke apart and Andy smiled at me.

"Great show, love." Andy murmured. I smiled and I kissed him again.

"Thank you, Light." I whispered. "You guys have fun out there."

He nodded and then he pecked my lips again before I watched them head out on stage. I smiled as I just leaned against the curtain, watching Andy and the boys begin their setlist with 'Coffin'. My two best friends and fellow skateboarders, Bam Margera and Rob Dyrdek approached me and stood beside me. Bam was holding our daughter, Blayde, in his arms. Blayde was giggling and smiling.

"Look, baby," I told her, brushing her blonde hair from her eyes, I pointed to Andy, who was still singing. "There's daddy. See?"

"Daddy!" Blayde squealed and when she did squeal, I saw Andy pause for a moment and he smiled because he heard her before continuing. I giggled softly because it was cute.

"Six's really killing it tonight," Bam said. "As he does every night."

Rob rolled his eyes but he did agree with Bam. Seeing Andy sing and seeing him so happy made me so happy too. I kept my eyes on Andy as he and Black Veil Brides continued their setlist before I headed into the dressing room to change into something more comfortable. I changed into one of Andy's shirts, his shirt that had his 'Daggers' drawing, and a black skirt, fishnets with garters and black combat boots. I pulled my hair into a ponytail. After Black Veil Brides had finished their setlist, Andy and I headed home with Blayde. Blayde was already asleep so, I just took her to bed before I just wanted to lay close to Andy. We both had showered and I just felt cleaner now that all the sweat and makeup was off of me. I couldn't believe that in just a few days time that it was gonna be the new year. Which meant on the 3rd of January, I had to leave to go on tour with Nitro Circus and Andy had to leave to tour with Fozzy. We both hate when we have to leave each other, but it has to be done. I sighed softly as I tried so hard to not get emotional about it, but I couldn't control it. Andy, who had his arms around me, heard me. He then just lifted my chin and our eyes met.

"Faith?" He murmured. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I said. "I'm just hating the fact that we both have to leave soon."

He nodded, understanding completely as I blinked away some tears that filled my eyes. Andy pulled me closer and he kissed my temple and stroked my hair. Andy's hair had grown out to when he had it in the 'Coffin\Rebels EP' Era. (A\N: Which is one of my favorite looks on him! xD ~Tigerstar)

"I know, baby." He said. "I hate that we have to leave. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Light." I squeezed his tattooed hand in mine. I then felt a tear fall down my face. Andy saw it and he wiped it away.

"Shh, baby." He whispered. "Don't cry. It's gonna be okay, my love. It'll be okay."

I just sniffled softly and Andy kissed my forehead softly. Once I calmed down due to him quoting Edgar Allan Poe (Which I love) and him singing to me, I just kissed his lips softly.

"I love you, Light." I murmured. Andy kissed me again, his fingers knotting in my hair.

"I love you too, my love." He said. "You do know that, don't you?"

I nodded and I just lay my head onto his chest again. In the midst of all this, I had my Ipod playing and the song that was playing was Daughtry's 'Start of Something Good', which reminded me of the night after I met Andy.

"You wanna know something?" I asked. Andy looked into my eyes and he nodded. "This song that's playing right now, I listened to this song the day after we met."

"Really?" Andy said. I smiled a little.

"I listened to this song after we met because, it was the beginning of a new chapter for me, and that same night, I began to realize that I felt something for you, even though I was still scared because of what Blaze did to me," I explained. "You, you saw something in me that was more beautiful than what I felt like, which was because of my scars that he left. You weren't afraid of my scars. And I have a lot to thank you for, Andy. You really see who I am and who I'm supposed to be."

"Baby," Andy's voice became soft as his hand cupped my face. "Your scars make you more beautiful. They show me that you're still fighting to make it in this world. I was just there to guide you, like I always have been and always will be. You're my Faith. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing."

I smiled and Andy kissed me again, deeply and passionately. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him and his warmth closer to me and I could feel him smile. When we pulled apart, Andy leaned his head against mine. I realized that I won't be able to enjoy this until I get home at the end of January. To hold and kiss Andy. I just closed my eyes and I tried to breathe this in and enjoy it.

"I'm gonna miss this," I murmured. Andy kissed my temple.

"I'll miss it too, baby." He said, stroking my hair again. I just sighed softly, enjoying Andy's touch. I had to least be positive because this would be my redemption tour with Nitro Circus, I got injured last tour and I had to make up to fans for it. And I will now that I've recovered. At least I get to celebrate New Years with Andy before I leave. That's always a good thing. I want to just spend these last couple of days with him and that'll be enough for me to stay focused on tour until I get home after January. At least it's temporary and that I would be home soon.

The day after New Years and after Andy and I celebrated, I had to get ready to leave to go on tour. I was very upset because I had to leave Andy and we both hate leaving each other. I began to pack for tour and I grabbed my phone to send out a Tweet:

@LaceyBlackburnTPN: I leave for Ontario, Canada tomorrow for the @NitroCircus tour. My heart is very sore because I have to leave my Light, @AndyBVB. I hate when we both have to leave each other. :\

I sighed and continued to pack and when I did, I heard shuffling and I felt a pair of arms around me and I knew it was Andy. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't control it now. Tears fell down my face and I sniffled softly.

"Hey," Andy murmured, his breath touching my skin. "It's okay, my Faith. It'll be okay. It's just temporary. You gotta remember that."

"i know it's temporary," I said, as more tears fell down my face. "I just hate to be away from you, Light."

Andy kissed my neck down to my collarbone, his breath was warm against my skin and his arms tightened around me, holding my body closer to his.

"I know, baby." He whispered. "I know. Everything's gonna be okay, Faith. It'll be allright. Okay?"

I nodded and sniffled again. I then turned so I could wrap my arms around Andy's neck, and Andy leaned his head against mine, his icy blue eyes were soft.

"I love you, Faith." He whispered.

"I love you too, Light." I murmured, as Andy just kissed my forehead and held me closer to him. He began to softly sing something to me, it seemed like 'Done For You', and when he did sing to me, he stroked my hair with his fingers. He was trying to make me smile and it wasn't working and it wasn't fixing my heartbreak. He then let go of me for a second, he grabbed my Ipod and he plugged it in and he had 'For A Dancer' by Katey Sagal, who plays Gemma on Sons of Anarchy start to play. He turned to me and pulled me close to him and we started to dance. I couldn't help but smile and I laughed a little at Andy's cuteness. I leaned my head onto Andy's shoulder as we stepped in tune to her voice.

Keep a fire burning in your eye
Pay attention to the open sky
You never know what will be coming down
I don't remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you'd always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you're nowhere to be found

I don't know what happens when people die
Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can't sing
I can't help listening
And I can't help feeling stupid standing 'round
Crying as they ease you down
'Cause I know that you'd rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away
(Right on dancing)
No matter what fate chooses to play
(There's nothing you can do about it anyway)

I looked into Andy's eyes and he smiled at me. I just kissed him softly and I felt his hand, which was wrapped around my waist tighten gently. His other hand slipped from mine for a second, which made us stop and he cupped my face with it, kissing me right back. We pulled apart again and Andy kissed the bridge of my nose, making me giggle softly.

"No matter how far apart we are," Andy said. "I'll always love you, Faith. And you'll always be my girl. Always."

I smiled and I pecked his lips. It was just a reminder that nothing was gonna change when Andy and I are away from each other. We'll always love each other. We'll always have each other. Always.

"I know, Light." I murmured. "I'll always love you too."

He then just spun us around and I laughed softly as we continued to dance together. I lay my head on him again as he held me close, his scent and his warmth comforting me.

Just do the steps that you've been shown
By everyone you've ever known
Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another's steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you'll do alone

Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don't let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

I guess everything was gonna be okay, I was overreacting and I just was feeling a lot better because I knew that the end of January, Andy and I would be together again.

Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you'll never know

I grew silent for a moment and Andy noticed it. He knew that I was leaving tomorrow and he lifted my chin so that our eyes met. I sighed softly.

"I know, Faith." He said. "I'm gonna miss you too, baby."

I just lay my head on his shoulder and I kissed the feather tattooed on his neck. He sighed and just closed his eyes, he loved when I did that to him. He then just opened his eyes again and he just kissed me before he carried me back to our bed, which made me squeal and laugh. Before I slept that night, I breathed in Andy's scent of cigarettes and cologne and I fell asleep. The next morning, I had to leave early to catch my flight to Canada. I sighed as I wrote Andy a note, Andy was still asleep. I just wrote something simple.

Light,

By the time you awake, I will be gone to Canada, I just wanted to tell you that I hope you have a great tour with Jericho and Fozzy. Give Jericho a hug for me when you see him when you arrive in Australia. I'll miss you, love. I love you so so much, Andy. I'll see you when I get home, Light.

Your Faith,

Lacey.

I changed into a Doctor Who TARDIS dress, fishnets, one of Andy's leather jackets and my boots and I grabbed my bags and I headed out of the bedroom after just kissing Andy on the cheek and I headed to the airport in my Impala. I put my Electric sunglasses over my eyes as I drove, the sun peeking up over the horizon. When I arrived, Travis had already shown up with Jolene and I just wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks as I hugged them both. I just had to just go and get ready for the first show. As I took the flight to Toronto, I posted a photo that I took of Andy and I onto instagram.

thelaceyblackburn: On the road to Toronto, Canada for first @nitrocircuslive US tour show. Had to leave my Light, @andybvb this morning. I hate when I have to leave the other half of my heart behind. So my heart is very very sore. I'm gonna miss my Andy so much, it hurts. But, I'm not gonna leave @travispastrana behind. I made a promise that I would appear for this tour. So, Toronto, here I come. #NitroCity

Welp. Toronto, here I come.