In the End

I stood backstage as Andy and the boys were playing their set. Black Veil Brides was playing at the Best Buy theater in New York City, I crossed my arms as I watched my boy and his brethren rock the stage. Andy was wearing a Sting shirt that he gotten when we both went to the WWE offices earlier today and I decided to wear my AJ Lee 'If I Can't Have You, No One Will' shirt. My shoulder was finally healed since the whole ordeal and getting shot while I was on tour with my band, The Pretty Nightmare. It still gets sore and stiff now and then, but I can handle it. I then saw something get thrown at Andy's head, and he dodged it and I saw that it was a shoe. Andy finished the song and then paused in front of the microphone.

"Some asshole is going home with one shoe." Andy said and it made me laugh and the crowd of BVB Army crack up as well. "Have fun limping. Hope you got a short ass leg. Dickhead."

Andy then mocked like he was limping and I continued to laugh and I had to lean against the wall so I wouldn't fall from laughing so hard. Andy then turned and looked over at me and he smiled at me, because he was happy to see me smile. Since the day I got shot, I've been having nightmares and those nightmares are because of hearing the gunshots and I've been constantly looking over my shoulder and I've been worried to even step outside because I felt so unsafe. Like, Andy's protection wasn't enough.

After their set, Andy and the boys came backstage and I just sighed softly. Andy walked toward me and he pulled me into his arms, and I lay my head on his chest, and I didn't care about him being sweaty, I just wanted him to comfort me. His arms wrapped around me like a corset and he kissed the top of my head.

"Everything all right, my love?" Andy murmured. I moved my head from his chest so that I could look up at him, and my arms wrapped around his neck.

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" I said. Andy sighed and he leaned his head on mine and I could feel myself beginning to crack. Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away.

"Shh. It's okay, Faith." Andy's hand touched my face, his fingers stroking my jawline. I just buried my head onto his shoulder as his fingers ran through my hair. "It's okay, baby. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay." I whimpered, my eyes meeting his warm ice blue ones. Andy just blinked at me, and he sighed again. "I can't even step outside without looking over my shoulder, making sure nobody has a gun in their hand, ready to shoot me again. And having those gunshot sounds when I sleep at night.. I can't take this anymore, Light. I just can't."

"Love. I know," Andy said. "I know that this wasn't what you were expecting. But, I know you. I know you better than anyone. You've overcome things like this before. Don't let go of your strength now."

I nodded and then he took my hand and we headed out to the tour bus together but before we headed inside, Andy and the boys met with some fans outside. I watched as Andy and the boys signed autographs and took pictures. I then just decided to head inside the bus and go lay down in Andy's bunk after checking on Blayde. The guys came in after a few moments and then the bus took off for the hotel for us to sleep tonight before we headed off to Philly and Maine. After Andy and I got settled in our room, I heard the water running from the bathroom cause Andy was showering and I sighed and I changed into a simple The Walking Dead hoodie that said 'Don't Open, Dead Inside' and a pair of black flannels, and I decided to watch Doctor Who on my tablet for a while. Andy came out after a while and he was just wearing a pair of black sweat pants and he was shirtless. I didn't hear him until he got into bed with me and I jumped.

"It's okay, Faith." Andy said. "It's only me."

I sighed and then moved over so that my head was laying on his chest. Andy's arms wrapped around me in a tight hold after a few moments, keeping me close to him as possible.

"I'm scared to sleep tonight, Light." I said. Andy just lifted my chin so that he could look into my eyes.

"You don't have to be scared, Faith." Andy kissed my head. "I won't let them get you."

I just sighed and snuggled up closer to Andy and he reached over and turned the lamp off and he started to hum something softly to me, to calm me down and to try and lull me to sleep and to also let me know that he was here, right beside me and never letting go of me.

I was onstage with my band, The Pretty Nightmare and I was performing 'Heaven Knows' and the crowd was going nuts, I kept singing and dancing onstage and then I saw two figures standing in the crowd- Blaze's thugs. I tried to stay calm but I couldn't. The first guy pulled out a gun and started shooting, causing the fans to disperse for the nearest exit, the shots rang out as the hit the stage and with a twisted smile, the guy shot me in the chest and I instantly fell to the floor, dead.

I screamed as I tossed and turned from Andy's embrace and it woke him up. I then felt hands shake my shoulders to wake me up and I opened my eyes to see Andy, who was laying right beside me and I just had a cold sweat running down my body and I started crying.

"Hey. Hey. Hey. It's okay." Andy murmured, stroking my hair. "You're okay, Faith. You're okay."

I instantly moved closer to him, and he took me into his arms and he kept stroking my hair and I buried my face into his skin and cried.

"Shh, Lacey." Andy's voice was a soft murmur. "You're safe. No one's gonna get you. No one's gonna hurt you."

I looked up at him and Andy's eyes were full of sadness and worry, A tear fell down my face and he wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm so hopeless, Light." I whimpered. Andy shook his head and he kissed my temple.

"You're not hopeless, honey." Andy told me, moving a strand of my hair away from my face. "You're just scared. And that's okay. It's okay to feel this way, my love. But you know that I'll always keep you safe and I'll never let anyone lay a single fucking finger on you."

I nodded against him and Andy kissed me softly and when we pulled apart, the assurance in his eyes was enough for me to believe. Andy brought me closer to him, so that my head was on his chest and my face was pressed close to his neck. I breathed him in and I sighed softly.

"Was it that same dream?" He asked, after a moment of pure silence. I just nodded and more tears fell from my eyes because the nightmare keeps scaring me so much.

"I can't go back to sleep without it happening again, Light." I sniffled. He sighed and his arms wrapped completely around me like a corset.

"Shh, baby. It'll go away sooner or later." Andy kissed my forehead and he began to softly sing me back to sleep. I closed my eyes, never letting go of Andy and falling into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up an hour before Andy and I had to leave to get back on the bus to head to the next venue, I looked over at Andy and Blayde's sleeping form and I went into the bathroom, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked horrible, my skin was pale and my eyes were red and sore from crying and I had bags under my eyes because of constant insomnia and the recurring nightmare. I then reached into the pocket of my shorts and pulled out a lighter. I'm such a pathetic person. I don't even know why Andy would choose to stay with me for so long and to love me for so long. I then rolled up my shirt and started burning the scars on my hip and the pain was excruciating that it made me bite my lip. I then heard footsteps coming towards the door. Andy. Shit. I then put the lighter in one of the drawers and rolled down my Sons of Anarchy shirt and zipped up my hoodie.

"Faith?" Andy peeked his head in through the door and I put my hand on my hip to try and dull the pain.

"Hey, Light." I said. Andy moved closer to me and he kissed me softly and I felt his hand inch down my side to my hip and I cringed because of the pain and that made Andy pull away.

"What's wrong, love?" He said.

"Just, my shoulder's kind of stiff." I told him. "No big deal."

"Love, you're always a big deal." Andy kissed my forehead. "Come back to bed and I'll take care of it."

I just sighed and I shook my head and Andy questioned me with a look and I felt tears come into my eyes because I didn't want to hide myself from him.

"Lacey. I know you're hiding something from me." Andy murmured. "You know you can tell me. I won't be mad. I promise."

I then sighed and I took my hoodie off and I rolled up my Sons of Anarchy shirt and I showed him my hip. Andy had to try really hard to keep his jaw from dropping and I could see tears in his eyes. My own tears were falling.

"Baby," Andy whispered, his deep voice sounding almost broken. "Why? Why would you do this?"

"Because of the recurring nightmare I keep having," I sniffled. "And the fear of not being safe anywhere and the constant looking over my shoulder, it was overwhelming me, Andy. I didn't know what to do anymore."

"You should have just talked to me," Andy whimpered. "It hurts me that you damaged your perfect, soft skin and your beautiful body."

"You were too busy with shows, Light." I said. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Love, I always worry about you," Andy's hand cupped my face. "You're all I ever think about. You and Blayde are my world."

"I'm sorry, Light. I should've told you." I sobbed. Andy gently pulled me into his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder, taking him and his warmth in.

"Don't be sorry, my love." Andy's hand rubbed over my hip. "Don't hide from me when you're feeling like this or turn to damaging yourself. I wanna help make it better. Let me be your rock and let me be here for you, as I always have been."

I nodded my head and Andy's thumb wiped away another tear that fell down my face and Andy just lifted me into his arms and he carried me back to the bed and he set me down inside the bed and he lay right beside me, and he pulled me into his arms, keeping me in a gentle embrace.

"Light?" I murmured. Andy moved strands of my hair away from my face.

"Yes, love?" He whispered.

"Why are you still with me?" I asked. That made Andy pause and he took a breath, his arms tightening around me.

"Because. You're real. You give me the right sense of direction, not only as an artist, but as a person. Your love is something I can never replace, because I wouldn't want anyone else to love me like you do, Faith. Juliet didn't have that when we were together. You do. You're the most beautiful person that I have ever set my eyes on. You're my heart. My everything. My world. You're different. And I wouldn't trade what I feel for you or our love for anything." Andy told me, his voice soft and gentle and warm.

"But, why would you wanna be with someone like me, with scars and has nightmares and is paranoid almost all the time?" I said.

"Love. That's not you. That's the fear talking. The girl I love isn't like this. She's stronger than this." Andy stroked my jawline with his hand. "And I think her scars are beautiful."

I shook my head and I just wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his body closer to mine. He smiled and he kissed my head. I just let my fingers trace every tattoo on his arms, including the new tattoo that he had gotten on his arm, where Juliet's name was removed, which was an angel flying out of a broken cage, which represented me and what I went through and my nickname, Faith. He took my hand away from his arm and he brought the back of my hand to his lips and he kissed it.

"Just remember, my love, that nothing can stop us or our love." Andy whispered, as he intertwined our hands and his fingers rubbed mine.

"I know." I said, smiling. "I love you, Andy."

"I love you too, Lacey. My beautiful, beautiful Lacey." Andy kissed me softly, gently.

"We're bulletproof." I giggled and Andy chuckled softly, and he kissed my nose.

"We are bulletproof." I lay my head on his chest and I listened to his heartbeat and I breathed in his scent of cigarettes and cologne that lingered on his warm skin. Andy gave me a tender kiss and then we had to get ready to head on the bus and head to the next venue and while Andy and I were in our bunk, catching up on the final episodes of Sons of Anarchy as Blayde was playing around on the bus with CC, I decided to come up with something special for my Never Take It Off line. I came up with the 'Anarchy Collection' in celebration of Season 7 and for the series. I started to draw out sketches for designs. Andy watched me draw with a curious eye and I smirked.

"What are you drawing, love?" Andy kissed my temple.

"Designs for a new collection for my line at Never Take It Off," I said. "All Sons of Anarchy inspired."

"That's great, babe." Andy told me. "What have you got so far?"

Since Jax Teller is and always will be my favorite character, I came up with 'The Crow Flies Free', which is a bundle of two bracelets that had silver chains and crow wings on them. It represents the fact that Jax was free in the end, free from the chains and the outlaw lifestyle that came with SAMCRO. 'Stay Forever With Me' was inspired by Jax & Tara's love for one another, It comes with two necklaces, 'Stay Forever With Me' which is a necklace that has a heart and a crow, for Jax and Tara, and then 'Love Is Forever', which is a heart with a rose. 'Born Unto Death, Death By Freedom' is another design based off of Jax being born into the lifestyle and the carnage, the violence that came with the club and he died by freedom, the design was a skull, which represents death and then wings, which represents freedom. 'Hold On When You're Broken' came from the beginning of season 5 where Jax was journaling and I found that that opening quote sticks with me a lot and 'You Don't Have To Be Blood To Be Family' for Jax and the love he had for his spiritual brothers in SAMCRO. 'Home Is Where The Reaper Is' with the SAMCRO logo and then for my fellow fans, 'It's Never Over'. And I told all of that to Andy. Andy was impressed with what I came up with. I then took photos and I sent the photos of the drawings to Never Take It Off to be released on December 9th, the night when the final Sons episode was set to air. After I did all that, I put my sketchbook away and I just lay back in Andy's arms and decided to tweet.

LaceyBlackburnTPN: Releasing a special collection for NeverTakeItOff on December 9th inspired by one of my favorite TV Shows! Try and take a guess as to what it is! #FinalRide

I then put my phone down and I then felt Andy nuzzle into my neck, which made me move my arms, which were around his waist, up to his neck and his wrapped around my waist.

"Faith," Andy murmured, his warm breath touching the nape of my neck.

"Yes, Moonlight?" I said, knotting my fingers in his hair, I then felt his fingers caressing my hip where the burn scars were and he rubbed his thumb over them.

"Just, promise me that when you ever think about damaging your beautiful body again," He whispered. "That you'd talk to me."

"I promise, Light." I kissed him gently, and I could see the soft shine in his ice blue eyes, as he brought that hand from my hip to my face and stroked my jawline.

"And I promise that with every fiber of my being, that I will always protect you and keep you and Blayde safe and never let anyone lay a single fucking finger on you." Andy said and his words made me melt into him, and he chuckled softly.

"I love you, Light." I whispered. "I love you so much. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

"I love you too, my love." Andy kissed me again, a mere peck of my lips and we just snuggled up closer to one another and continued watching Sons of Anarchy. And for once, I felt safe. In the arms of my boy and I didn't have to worry about Blaze or his thugs coming after me. Just me and Andy and Blayde. The way it should be.