In the End

I drove down the streets, there had been nowhere as far as the eye can see, all I could see is a forest, the leaves yellow and red and brown from autumn, wind blowing through the trees. I look back and I see Blayde in the back seat and I then realize that we're heading to the lake house. A few moments later, I stop at a stop sign and in a moment, it all went black. All I could hear is Blayde screaming as the car flipped over and over and I'm ejected from the car and I land, in a ditch, blood leaking from my body where the glass from my body colliding the windshield had cut me and I lay there, bleeding to death.

I wake up, gasping and opening my eyes. I realize that I'm home and in bed, my muscles tensing from the horrifying nightmare. A cold sweat runs across my body and my heart's racing. I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them and tears fall down my face. I sobbed softly and I then turn to see the man laying in bed with me, sound asleep. Andy's hair covered his face and I couldn't bother to prod him awake. I continue crying until I sniffle, rather loudly. That causes Andy to stir and he wakes up, he looks confused until he sees me crying and he immediately sits up. I look at the clock, seeing that it's almost 3am. He puts his hand on my back and a sad look comes over his face. I've had this nightmare for almost a week and it seems to get worse every night that passes. I can't even sleep sometimes because of it.

"Honey?" Andy says, his hand making tender circles on my back and tracing my spine over the tank top that I wore to bed. I turn my head and I glare at him.

"What?" I snap and Andy looks almost hurt at my tone and I take a breath because I knew that I didn't mean to speak in that tone of voice. He puts his hands up in surrender.

"Hey. Hey. Don't get snappy with me, Faith," Andy murmurs. "All I wanna do is help you. So please, calm down. Okay? Calm down."

"I'm sorry, Moonlight." I say, and I feel more tears come into my eyes and fall down my face again. "It's just..."

"Shh." Andy moves my arms from being wrapped around my knees and he pulls me into his embrace, my head laying on his chest and I listen to calm beat of his heart. "I know, my love. It's okay. You're okay, baby. You're not there anymore. You're safe with me. I'm here. I'm right here. Shh."

I cry into his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair and he sighs and he rubs my back with his thumbs, trying to release any tension that I feel. I look up after a while and he wipes away the reminder of my tears with two gentle butterfly kisses.

"I'm so hopeless," I sniffle and Andy shakes his head, cupping my face in his hand, our eyes meeting, his hand is slightly warmer than usual, because of the blankets.

"Listen to me, Faith. You are not hopeless. Do you hear me? You're not," Andy whispers. "The accident has left a lot on your plate. I understand. You don't need to be on edge over it."

"But it's my fault that I went out with Blayde that day, Light." I say, sniffing. "If I hadn't, I wouldn't be dealing with this right now."

"Shh." Andy kisses my temple. "Love. Don't blame yourself. It's happened, even though I shouldn't have left you alone and I should've protected you, but that was my mistake. Not yours."

I try and protest but Andy kisses me. Softly, tenderly and I can feel his comfort and his love, he holds me close to him and when we pull apart, he leans his head on mine, and he moves strands of my hair from my face. After a little bit, I just rest against him, letting him hold me in his arms, whenever I have a nightmare, Andy always brings me back to reality. He's always my anchor.

"It's just a dream, baby." Andy says, kissing my forehead. "Just a bad dream. There's nobody here but you and me and our daughter. That's it. Nobody is gonna hurt you or lay their fingers on you, or cause harm to us. Okay?"

I then nod against him and I rest against his collarbone, my head facing toward his neck. Andy starts to stroke my hair and he begins to sing softly to me. I then close my eyes and I begin to sleep once more. My body releasing it's tension and relaxing against Andy's.

Morning light wakes me from my dreamless slumber, I get up and I head to my closet and change into a black velvet tank top and a pair of silver leggings, which was hard to do because of my cast on my leg, I went into the bathroom and put on my makeup for the day, hiding the bags under my eyes from the constant nightmares I've been having. I take my pain meds and I head downstairs. I then smell something that catches my attention as I head into the kitchen. I then watch as Andy is trying to make me my favorite breakfast of red velvet pancakes. I smile at the gesture. I lean against the entryway and watch him as he moves around the kitchen. He then turns and sees me, and his ice blue eyes light up and he smiles.

"Good morning, beautiful." Andy says, leaning in to kiss me softly. I take that moment and I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up, making me giggle. He then just pecks my lips and sets me on my feet once more.

"Morning. What's all this?" I ask.

"I know you and I both have been dealing with a lot over the last few days," Andy takes my hand into his. "So I thought I would make your favorite breakfast and you and I can have a free day."

A free day, for us, we just enjoy each other's company and forget about everything else that's been going on. We just focus on us. And nothing else matters to us.

"What about your record?" I say. Andy shakes his head and he spins me around and I giggle again.

"Don't worry about it, baby." Andy kisses my nose as I face him after spinning around. "All that matters to me today is you. Nothing else. I'll be back in the studio tomorrow."

I smile at how sweet he is, going out of his way to do this for me. I just peck his lips and he turns to put the pancakes on my plate- and I just wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into his bare back for a moment. I kiss his shoulder and he smiles slightly. I let go and head upstairs to get Blayde up for breakfast.

After breakfast, Andy and I just cuddled on the couch while Blayde played with her toys. My head resting on Andy's chest, his arm around my waist, holding me closer to his side. I sigh softly and I breathe in Andy's smell- the smell of his cigarettes, the soap he uses when he showers, and the light scent of his cologne that still lingers on his skin. A reminder that everything is real, and that everything is going to be okay. It's going to just take a little bit before I can get back on my feet once again. But, Andy would always be there to catch me and help me get there.

I'm just so grateful to still be alive after all that's happened, I've been shot at and injured in a car accident that almost killed me this past year. I'm grateful that I'm still surviving and that I still exist. I didn't realize that I had been crying about it until Andy hears me and looks down at me.

"Baby?" Andy says, lifting my chin up with his hand. "You're crying. What is it, Faith?"

"I'm just so glad to still be here and be alive," I sniffle. "That's all, Light."

He nods and he holds me closer to his body, letting me cry while whispering reassurances to me and being my comfort in the moment, his fingers lightly run through my hair and he kisses my head.

"You gave me quite a scare when it happened, Faith." I look up into Andy's ice blue eyes, and the pad of his thumb wipes away any stray tears. "But, I'm glad I still have you here, to hold and love and cherish and keep to myself. Regardless of how many times you were almost taken away from me."

I move and rest my head on his shoulder and Andy's arms hold me tighter.

"But that's all behind us now," Andy continues, rubbing my shoulders and arms gently. "So, don't cry. I hate it when you cry." Eventually, I do calm down and I do relax in Andy's arms, he loosens his grip on me and he kisses my hair. He then lifts my chin up so our eyes meet and he kisses the bridge of my nose.

"We'll be okay." He whispers, closing his eyes for a moment. "No matter what happens, we'll always be okay."

"I love you, my Moonlight," I murmur.

"I love you too, baby." Andy says, his fingers stroking my jawline. "Now. Let's just enjoy our free day today. No more tears. Okay?"

I nod against him and we do enjoy our free day, we just snuggle up and watch movies and we just enjoy each other's company and even though I was still in deep thought over what had happened over the last week with the accident, Andy always has a way to bring me back from my thoughts. His gestures of affection have grown more deeper and more comforting. As I had gotten up to start making dinner for the night and head into the kitchen and I had my back turned because I was getting the ravioli out of the freezer, Andy walks up and he slips his arms around me, and I lean against him. He kisses my collarbone and up to my neck.

"Never forget how much I love you," He whispers, in my ear. "You're my everything, Faith."

"I know, Light." I turn to look at him and he pecks my lips. "And I thank you for always being there for me to hold on to and for being my sliver of sanity. These last few days have been stressful since the accident and I just want you to know that your affection and love means a lot to me."

"Always, my love." Andy's lips touch my temple. "I'd do anything for you in a heartbeat."

"I know you would," I murmur and he kisses me softly, and tenderly for a minute before breaking away. I smile as he takes my hands in his for a moment.

"I'm always here to pick up the pieces," Andy rests his forehead against mine before bringing up my hands to his lips and kissing them. "No matter how broken you may feel inside. I'll always catch you. Because you mean the world to me, Faith."

"I know, Moonlight." I murmur. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kisses me once before he leaves the kitchen so I can finish making dinner. I decided on making something easy- mushroom and cheese ravioli with a light butter sauce. Something that would surprise Andy. We eat and snuggle up together and watch Netflix once more and as I head to bed that night, I dream peacefully in the arms of my Light, because his protective embrace always drives the nightmares away.

A few days later, I am approached by Tattoo Magazine to do a shoot for their October issue and do an interview and talk to them about all of my tattoos. I had my hair in simple curls that went down my back and I wore a black crop top with a white thunderbolt in the middle of it, and a pair of leggings that had skulls and roses on them and my Iron Fist boots, my leg finally healed and I only had a light splint on the spot where it had been broken in the accident. I wore my Faith necklace, and I wore a set of spike bracelets on my left wrist and I wore a silver cross ring and a half moon ring on my right hand, next to my wedding ring. They simply took about a few photos of me posing against a brick wall and with a black background.

After my shoot and interview with Tattoo Magazine, I head home. As I walk through the door, I hear Andy on the phone. I sigh. This isn't good. I thought, as I take off the leather jacket that Andy loaned me. I then head upstairs after greeting Blayde with a hug and a kiss and I change into something comfortable. A Wildfox tanktop that says 'Love Hurts' and a pair of black shorts. As I'm wiping the makeup off my face in our bathroom, Andy comes in.

"Hey, beautiful." Andy kisses my temple. "I didn't know you came home."

"Yeah," I say. "The photo shoot and interview was great."

"Good to hear." He smiles. "Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about."

It only took me a moment to realize what he wants to talk to me about. He's leaving.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" I say, and hurt coats my voice. Andy gives me a look of sorrow but stays silent because he knows that I'm hurting because of it. Even though I'm used to this, it still stings quite a bit when Andy has to leave for tour.

"Course, you are." I mutter and I leave the bathroom. I then walk into our bedroom and I curl up on the bed, blinking tears from my eyes. The tears manage to escape and I sob softly into the pillows because I feel that part of my heart yank. After a minute or two, I hear shuffling and I feel the bed shift under weight. I turn on my side and continue to cry. I then see Andy's arm on my waist and his hand laying freely on my side as he lays right behind me.

"Lacey." Andy whispers in my ear. "Faith. Love, look at me for a moment."

I sigh and I do turn to look at him, Andy's eyes are sad and full of sorrow and I just sniffle at him. His fingers wipe away any stray tears that fall and he sighs softly.

"You didn't even give me a chance to talk, honey." Andy murmurs, his hand caressing my face. "I'm not gonna be gone very long. It's only a couple weeks. And plus, I'll be able to see you before the last stop of the tour. So, please, baby. Don't cry."

"I'm sorry, Light." I sniffle. "I didn't expect you to be leaving so soon since after what's happened with the accident."

"Shh. It's okay, sweetheart." Andy kisses my forehead. "Don't be sorry, Faith. To be fairly honest, I didn't expect this either but then I remembered that we had to play the shows that we cancelled because of my dad being ill."

I nod, understanding the reason now. He has to make it up for the fans that weren't able to go see them. That makes perfect sense now. And here I am, feeling like a total bitch because of it. I just sigh and lean back against the pillows and Andy looks at me. He takes my hand in his, his fingers rubbing circles on my hand.

"I'm sorry for acting like a total bitch right there," I say. "It just stings every time that you and I are apart, even though I'm used to it by now."

Andy brings up our intertwined hands and he kisses the back of my hand.

"Don't apologize, honey." Andy says. "It isn't your fault. I won't be gone long, plus. I'll be home and I'll get to be around you and that's all that matters to me."

I nod slowly and Andy kisses my lips, tenderly and deeply. I let my fingers run through his long black hair and he shifts, so I'm on my back and he's over me. He pulls me closer to him. My hands slide down his chest, and then move up and stroke his tattoos. I feel him sigh at my touch, the air he breathes brushes against my face, tickling my skin. We pull apart and I smile, laying my hands on his back.

"I love you, Faith," Andy murmurs. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. Sometimes, I can't even express it."

"I love you too, Moonlight." I whisper, as his fingers run through my hair and I giggle as he kisses every inch of my face.

The next day, after getting my hair dyed black with my dark red highlights, my manager called me to tell me that I had gotten another acting gig. This time in TV. American Horror Story wanted me to come in and play Alice Darcy, the assistant to The Countess, who is played by Lady Gaga for their new season, Hotel. Alice Darcy was born in the 1930's and The Countess turned her in 1950. Alice Darcy dresses up in a cyber punk style, long brightly colored hair extensions and bright colors with black. Alice acts rather childish, but she also has a bad attitude, and she lives and worships The Countess. It was truly an honor to be in the presence of Lady Gaga and around the cast.