I'm a Psycho, Baby...
50 shades of ***ed up
Do you know what it's like to want to kill yourself? I hope, for your sake, you don't.
Because it's not good. It's not fun. It fucking sucks.
My life isn't even that bad. Sure, I get stressed easily. And incredibly anxious. And there are days where I just want to scream. But in reality it's not that bad. I just want to die.
My name is Jack Barakat and I almost jumped off a bridge two nights ago.
It wasn't an irregular thing; for me to feel incredibly suicidal, but the other night I couldn't take it. I was ready to die.
I still don't quite understand what stopped me. But I'm not dead, instead I'm on my way to a psychiatric unit.
-
'Well Jack, this is your room. Someone will come and tell you when dinner is.' Susan, one of the nurses, smiles and I nod, walking over to the bed and dropping my bag down.
-
I sigh when theres a knock on the door, getting up quickly and going to open it, in front of me is a skinny guy, around my age, with messy brown hair and wearing a blink 182 hoodie, 'Hi, i'm Alex, I got sent to tell you that you can get dinner whenever you want.' he says shakily,
'Oh, thank you.' I smile,
'What's your name kid?' he asks,
'Jack.' I mumble,
'Well Jack, it's nice to meet you. Do you wanna come get food with me?' he asks with a smile and I nod.
(a few days later)
'So why are you here?' Alex asks, playing with the bracelets on my wrist,
'Um, I nearly jumped off a bridge.' I mumble and he sighs, 'what about you?' I ask, he just looks down and my eyes follow his, his hoodie sleeve has ridden up slightly, revealing cuts on his arm, he quickly pulls his sleeve down, I look back up to his face and he gives me a lobsided smile,
'Everyone here's 50 shades of fucked up.' he shrugs,
'Why?' I ask,
'Why did you try to kill yourself?' he counters,
'I- uh- I don't know.' I mumble,
'Exactly. It's a spur of the moment thing.' Alex shrugs,
'I don't belong here. Everyone here is genuinely screwed somehow. I'm just a privileged kid that tried to kill himself.' I sigh, 'my life isn't bad. I have a good family. Good education. Good friends. I don't know why I'm here.' I mutter,
'Well maybe your life is worse than you think. Maybe there's too much pressure. You tried to jump off a bridge Jack. I think that's pretty fucked up.' he shrugs and I sigh, nodding.
Because it's not good. It's not fun. It fucking sucks.
My life isn't even that bad. Sure, I get stressed easily. And incredibly anxious. And there are days where I just want to scream. But in reality it's not that bad. I just want to die.
My name is Jack Barakat and I almost jumped off a bridge two nights ago.
It wasn't an irregular thing; for me to feel incredibly suicidal, but the other night I couldn't take it. I was ready to die.
I still don't quite understand what stopped me. But I'm not dead, instead I'm on my way to a psychiatric unit.
-
'Well Jack, this is your room. Someone will come and tell you when dinner is.' Susan, one of the nurses, smiles and I nod, walking over to the bed and dropping my bag down.
-
I sigh when theres a knock on the door, getting up quickly and going to open it, in front of me is a skinny guy, around my age, with messy brown hair and wearing a blink 182 hoodie, 'Hi, i'm Alex, I got sent to tell you that you can get dinner whenever you want.' he says shakily,
'Oh, thank you.' I smile,
'What's your name kid?' he asks,
'Jack.' I mumble,
'Well Jack, it's nice to meet you. Do you wanna come get food with me?' he asks with a smile and I nod.
(a few days later)
'So why are you here?' Alex asks, playing with the bracelets on my wrist,
'Um, I nearly jumped off a bridge.' I mumble and he sighs, 'what about you?' I ask, he just looks down and my eyes follow his, his hoodie sleeve has ridden up slightly, revealing cuts on his arm, he quickly pulls his sleeve down, I look back up to his face and he gives me a lobsided smile,
'Everyone here's 50 shades of fucked up.' he shrugs,
'Why?' I ask,
'Why did you try to kill yourself?' he counters,
'I- uh- I don't know.' I mumble,
'Exactly. It's a spur of the moment thing.' Alex shrugs,
'I don't belong here. Everyone here is genuinely screwed somehow. I'm just a privileged kid that tried to kill himself.' I sigh, 'my life isn't bad. I have a good family. Good education. Good friends. I don't know why I'm here.' I mutter,
'Well maybe your life is worse than you think. Maybe there's too much pressure. You tried to jump off a bridge Jack. I think that's pretty fucked up.' he shrugs and I sigh, nodding.