Accidental Trust
9
A lot of people wonder why I have always said I'm gonna end up dying alone. Well can you blame me. I never been refereed to as "pretty". My sister's were always the one's that were noticed. Even my guy friends thought my older sister was hot. And all of my friends said that my little sister was cute. But did I ever hear anything? No. My friends say I'm pretty, if I changed things about myself. If I dressed different, did my hair, did my make-up. I got to the point where I started to believe them, that that will be the only way to get a guy's attention. But I wanted to stay who I was, I wasn't about to change for a guy to notice me, because he's not seeing the real me. The real me loves to where shorts or skinny jeans, and band shirts. That's what I feel comfortable in. It shows who I am. Music has been saving me since I was 13, and I wasn't about to stop wearing shirts of bands that have saved me. With my hair, I live in Florida where it is hot year around, bad humidity that fucks up my hair, and I'm to lazy to do my hair for that. Make up, I noticed over the years the smallest bit of make up causes me to break out, although my mom always said the kind she buys helps with acne. I mean I still break out, but make up makes me break out more. So that's why eyeliner is it for make up. So when David noticed me that night I didn't fully believe him.
But the past 2 weeks, I been seeing David. He would come down whenever both of us were free and we would hang out at my college, go to the mall, any place where I think my family won't know. With my only having one class this semester, and him only taking 2 classes a day, our schedules worked for him to come down. I finally feel like a guy finds me pretty for being me, not because I dressed up to grab his attention. Okay I did at playlist, but these past 2 weeks have showed if I was just dressed as myself he would have still noticed me. I mean he noticed me at the concert looking like complete shit. I'm sure there was other prettier girls then me that night. David hasn't tried anything yet, I think he knows I'm still nervous of letting him to kiss me. I let him hold me, but that's pretty much it. I told him when I let a guy give me my first kiss, he has to have my full trust. That means, I can't be afraid as to why I'm me. I'm not afraid to tell someone anymore, but having a boyfriend is different. He has to learn how I work, how I'm different, and he needs to be patient with me. If David can be patient with me, until I'm ready, then he gives me hope.
I feel my phone vibrate and look down, seeing that Alex was texting me. I haven't told anyone I been seeing David. I already know what my friends think of him from what happened at playlist and the concert. They don't trust him. To make them think I'm not seeing, I just don't talk about him. David knows I haven't told anyone, and he understood why when I told him my side of the story. Of what I thought. He couldn't blame me, I mean I never heard from the guy who tried to kiss me. But now he's here with me.
"Who's texting you?," David asks. I was leaning against him and his arms were around my waist. "My friend Alex." I told David he shouldn't worry about Alex, Alex is just a friend. And I think I had pretty much friend-zoned Alex when I asked for guy advice. I didn't mean to, but Alex was the only guy friend I could text at the time. Plus I think Alex knows we will never date. "I manage to pull him away from his game," I laugh when I read his text. "That is a very hard thing to do you know," David laughs softly in my ear. "Yeah I know, I have not been successful many times." Me and David decided to go to the beach, I brought a towel from home for us to sit on. No one was here because this part of the beach has rocks in the water to close to the shore. So it was peaceful with it just being us. I put my phone down and smile up at David. He had to come in my life for a reason.
"What time do you have to goo back?" "I have work at 10 am, so my usual time." "Are you sure that's not to late? I don't want you to be tired at work and drive home late." "You always worry about me, but trust me. The drive doesn't bother me anymore." "Can you blame me? You drive to meet me. I'm not allowed to go to Orlando alone and need to have a damn good reason why I am." "Well, I been wanting to go to Universal with you sometime. I just renewed m pass." "So did I." "That's prefect." I look down and think, maybe I can. But... My parents know I don't have friends here to go with. Maybe... Cara. "I can say that I'm going to Universal with my friend Cara." Although me and Cara had stopped talking shortly after the concert. I have no idea why she stopped talking to me. I thought we got along great. Guess I was wrong. "Is Cara that girl who stopped talking to you?" "Yeah." But it didn't hurt as much after her. "Will your parents believe you?" "Yeah they will. They know about her." "Then I can't wait to go with you this weekend." "Me to, I haven't gone in a long time."
David lays down and lay by him, "it'll be nice to get out of here for a day with you." "I thought you love being here." "No. Its boring. Your the only person I see because all my other friends are to busy. I mainly stay home." "Then I'm glad I can always see you." I smile at him and noticed his face was inches from mine. We lay quiet and stare at each other, he's only came close to really kissing me and that was at playlist. Since then I been wondering what its like. "I-I think I'm ready to try." "Are you sure?" "I think so." "Stop me if your not." "O-okay." I close my eyes and know he's leaning in. I feel his hot breath on my lips, something snaps in my mind and I pull my head back. I quickly sit up and open my eyes, looking away from him. "I-I'm sorry David, I thought I was." He sits up and wraps his arms around me. "No, its fine. I understand, your not ready yet, and I'll wait." "Thanks..." I just sometimes wonder how long David will wait...
But the past 2 weeks, I been seeing David. He would come down whenever both of us were free and we would hang out at my college, go to the mall, any place where I think my family won't know. With my only having one class this semester, and him only taking 2 classes a day, our schedules worked for him to come down. I finally feel like a guy finds me pretty for being me, not because I dressed up to grab his attention. Okay I did at playlist, but these past 2 weeks have showed if I was just dressed as myself he would have still noticed me. I mean he noticed me at the concert looking like complete shit. I'm sure there was other prettier girls then me that night. David hasn't tried anything yet, I think he knows I'm still nervous of letting him to kiss me. I let him hold me, but that's pretty much it. I told him when I let a guy give me my first kiss, he has to have my full trust. That means, I can't be afraid as to why I'm me. I'm not afraid to tell someone anymore, but having a boyfriend is different. He has to learn how I work, how I'm different, and he needs to be patient with me. If David can be patient with me, until I'm ready, then he gives me hope.
I feel my phone vibrate and look down, seeing that Alex was texting me. I haven't told anyone I been seeing David. I already know what my friends think of him from what happened at playlist and the concert. They don't trust him. To make them think I'm not seeing, I just don't talk about him. David knows I haven't told anyone, and he understood why when I told him my side of the story. Of what I thought. He couldn't blame me, I mean I never heard from the guy who tried to kiss me. But now he's here with me.
"Who's texting you?," David asks. I was leaning against him and his arms were around my waist. "My friend Alex." I told David he shouldn't worry about Alex, Alex is just a friend. And I think I had pretty much friend-zoned Alex when I asked for guy advice. I didn't mean to, but Alex was the only guy friend I could text at the time. Plus I think Alex knows we will never date. "I manage to pull him away from his game," I laugh when I read his text. "That is a very hard thing to do you know," David laughs softly in my ear. "Yeah I know, I have not been successful many times." Me and David decided to go to the beach, I brought a towel from home for us to sit on. No one was here because this part of the beach has rocks in the water to close to the shore. So it was peaceful with it just being us. I put my phone down and smile up at David. He had to come in my life for a reason.
"What time do you have to goo back?" "I have work at 10 am, so my usual time." "Are you sure that's not to late? I don't want you to be tired at work and drive home late." "You always worry about me, but trust me. The drive doesn't bother me anymore." "Can you blame me? You drive to meet me. I'm not allowed to go to Orlando alone and need to have a damn good reason why I am." "Well, I been wanting to go to Universal with you sometime. I just renewed m pass." "So did I." "That's prefect." I look down and think, maybe I can. But... My parents know I don't have friends here to go with. Maybe... Cara. "I can say that I'm going to Universal with my friend Cara." Although me and Cara had stopped talking shortly after the concert. I have no idea why she stopped talking to me. I thought we got along great. Guess I was wrong. "Is Cara that girl who stopped talking to you?" "Yeah." But it didn't hurt as much after her. "Will your parents believe you?" "Yeah they will. They know about her." "Then I can't wait to go with you this weekend." "Me to, I haven't gone in a long time."
David lays down and lay by him, "it'll be nice to get out of here for a day with you." "I thought you love being here." "No. Its boring. Your the only person I see because all my other friends are to busy. I mainly stay home." "Then I'm glad I can always see you." I smile at him and noticed his face was inches from mine. We lay quiet and stare at each other, he's only came close to really kissing me and that was at playlist. Since then I been wondering what its like. "I-I think I'm ready to try." "Are you sure?" "I think so." "Stop me if your not." "O-okay." I close my eyes and know he's leaning in. I feel his hot breath on my lips, something snaps in my mind and I pull my head back. I quickly sit up and open my eyes, looking away from him. "I-I'm sorry David, I thought I was." He sits up and wraps his arms around me. "No, its fine. I understand, your not ready yet, and I'll wait." "Thanks..." I just sometimes wonder how long David will wait...